Sorry, my stupid e-mail program couldn't take all of this chapter at
once. (Stupid Quick Mail Pro).  Anyway, here's the second part of Chapter 3.


    Ranma and Akane were relaxing in the bath after breakfast.  Ranma
was sitting next to Akane, lost in thought.  Akane nudged her and said,
"What's up Ranma?  Why are you so quiet all of a sudden?"
    Ranma turned to face Akane.  "I've been thinking, about something
oyaji said.  He asked if I'd forgotten about his promise to mom.  As I
think about it, I had forgotten.  When mom finds out, she's probably
gonna kill me, but she deserves to know."
    "Ranma, I love you very much and I don't want you to die.  But
I'll understand if you decide to tell your mom, and I'll stand with
you through it all."
    Ranma stared at Akane for several long minutes.  She then pulled
Akane into a bone-crushing hug and whispered, "Thank you Akane."
Ranma released the love of her life when she heard Akane making
gurgling, choking noises.  "Whether or not this chi shield holds, I'm
going to tell her at the end of the week.  I'm hoping the shield fails
just so I can show her the change and make the story more believable.
Thank you Akane!  You don't know how much this means to me."

***

    Somewhere on the outskirts of Nerima stood a powerfully built young
man.  He was wearing dark green pants, a yellow tunic and a tiger
striped bandanna.  He shook his fists at the heavens and cried out
"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW?"  This was followed by another cry. "RANMA
SAOTOME THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"  He then proceeded to run through a
nearby wall and towards the heart of Nerima.

***

    "Akane no!  That's salt, not sugar.  What are you doing with those
jalapenos?  We're trying to make chocolate chip cookies.  Aarrgghh!"
    "What is it Ranma?  I thought the bite of the jalapenos would make
a good contrast to the sweetness of the chocolate."
    "Grrrrrr...I should have known.  Stupid tomboy, there's no way you
could ever learn to cook.  You just don't have the patience or
discipline."
    Ranma failed to notice Akane glowing blue as she expounded on
Akane's cooking failings.  She also failed to notice Akane pulling
out her mallet and cocking it back, ready to swing.  Ranma finally
looked up as she heard Akane scream "RANMA NO BAKA!" and caught Akane's
mallet right in the face.  As she went flying through the roof, Ranma
thought <Now what did I do?>

***

    Ranma knocked on Akane's door.  From inside she heard a muffled
"Come in."  Inside, Ranma found Akane lying face down on her bed.  She
sat down on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on Akane's shoulder.
    "A...Akane, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings in the kitchen this
evening.  I didn't mean to, but sometimes you can be so frustrating.
Brute strength is no help in the kitchen.  What I said about patience
and discipline is true.  You can't rush in the kitchen, especially when
you're a beginning cook.  Also, you need to follow the recipe exactly.
Only with lots of experience can you safely use substitutions and
additions in a recipe, and even then you might do it wrong.  I'm sure
you'll be a good cook one day, but you need to take it one step at a
time.  Do you understand?"
    Akane turned over, her eyes all red and puffy from crying.  No.
I don't understand.  You're a good cook, but I never see you cooking.
You're always good at everything you do, and I never am."
    "Akane no baka.  The reason I'm such a good cook is because I had
to do all the cooking on my ten year training trip with oyaji.  He
can't cook anymore than you can, probably even worse (as hard as that
is to believe).  I've had ten years experience at cooking.  In the
beginning I was terrible, but I learned.
    "Here.  Let me put this in a way you can understand.  Akane, would
you teach a beginning student to do a flying kick?  Of course not.
First you'd teach him how to kick properly, then how to leap properly,
and then you'd combine them.  The same thing goes with cooking.  You
have to learn the basics before you can do the harder stuff, like
additions and substitutions.  Now do you understand?"
    "Yes I think I do.
    "Ranma, I'm sorry I hit you in the kitchen.  I guess I can see how
frustrating I can be for you.  You don't hate me do you Ranma?"
    "Nani!?  Of course not Akane-chan.  How could you even think that.
I may get frustrated sometimes, but I don't hate you.  I love everything
about you Akane-chan.  Your cute smile.  Your beautiful body.  Your
fiery...uh...spirit."
    With a cry of pure happiness, Akane pulled Ranma's head down into
a deep, passionate kiss.

***

    "Hhhmm...Ten...do...do...jo," read Ryoga very carefully in the
fading moonlight.  <YES!  I made it!  After only two days of searching
through Nerima, I found where I was going!  Tonight, Akane, will be the
night I profess my love to you!>  He leapt over the wall of the Tendo
compound...and landed right in the middle of the koi pond.  With a loud
"Bwweeeeeeeee!" of frustration, Ryoga/P-chan clambered out of the pond
and into the Tendo house.
    Despite the darkness of the house, he managed to make his way up
the stairs.  He traversed the hallway, stopping in front of Akane's
room.  <Everyone seems to be asleep.  I guess I can tell Akane how I
feel tomorrow.  But for now, I can find shelter in her comforting arms
as P-chan.>
    Noticing the door wasn't quite closed all the way, P-chan pushed
against it with his nose, worming his way into Akane's bedroom.  He
started moving towards Akane's bed, but stopped dead at what he saw.
A very naked female Ranma was under an equally naked Akane, who was
covering the red-head with kisses.
    The sight before him was too much for his brain to process.  So,
with a great spurt of blood coming from his nose, P-chan let out a
panicked "Bwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!" and fell over unconscious.
    Akane jumped as she heard her pet's panicked squeal.  Pulling away
from Ranma she looked around her room frantically.  Then she saw him,
slumped before the half open door of her room.  Jumping out of bed, she
rushed to her pet's side.
    "Oh Ranma!  There's blood everywhere."
    Ranma sat up, supporting herself with her arms.  "What?  Blood?
Where's the wound?"
    "That's the weird part.  It seems to have all come from his nose.
Oh my poor P-chan.  He probably passed out from lack of blood."
    "That figures," muttered Ranma.
    Not paying any attention to Ranma, Akane picked up her pet and
pulled him close.  "Maybe I should run a nice warm bath to clean off
all this blood.  I hope my dear P-chan is all right.  Don't worry Ranma
I'll be right back."
    "Uh...Akane are you sure you want to give him a warm bath?" Ranma
asked nervously.
    Misunderstanding Ranma's concern, Akane replied, "Don't worry
Ranma, I'll keep him from drowning.  Be right back."
    Akane stood, still cradling P-chan against her bare chest, and left
for the bathroom before Ranma could protest anymore.

***

    P-chan awoke to the comforting sound of Akane's voice.  Comforting
that is, until he heard the actual words she was saying.  "Don't worry
P-chan, mommy Akane will give you a nice hot bath to clean off that
sticky blood all over you.  You'll be all clean in no time, then you
can come sleep with me and Ranma-chan."
    As Akane's words became clear in P-chan's mind, he began to panic.
He thrashed around, desperate to escape her arms.  This just caused
Akane to hug him tighter to her breast, which caused him to pass out
again when he realized exactly where he was.
    As the bath filled, Akane turned her attention back to P-chan, who
was once again regaining consciousness.  "Poor P-chan, where have you
been?  I've been so worried about you, then you show up in my room
covered in blood.  Well don't worry about the blood, a nice hot bath
will clean you right up."
    At the words 'hot bath' P-chan tried to squirm out of Akane's
grasp again.  He almost made it, but Akane managed to grab him by his
bandanna.  "What's the matter P-chan, the water can't hurt you, and I
won't let you drown.  I'm just going to give you a quick dip.  Ah!
The water's ready."
    Holding the squirming P-chan by his bandanna, Akane dipped him in
the furo.  What she pulled out was not a cute, black piglet.
    Ryoga just sat there, face downturned and glowing bright red in
shame and embarrassment.
    Akane's eyes, at first wide in shock, quickly narrowed and a bright
blue aura began to form around her as realization struck home.  "RYOGA
NO HENTAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
    "Akane w...wa...wait I-I-I can explain!" Ryoga stammered
desperately, then cried out "RANMA THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
    The blue aura had steadily grown brighter, travelling to her eyes,
as Akane cocked her arm back, ready to swing.  In a voice almost as
cold as death itself she muttered, "All this time sleeping in my bed,
taking advantage of my good nature, making me think it was Ranma-chan's
fault for your fights.  I cannot allow this to go unpunished."  Subtly
re-adjusting her aim, Akane swung her fist forward crying in that same
cold voice, "Ryoga Hibiki prepare yourself for your worst nightmare!"
Her fist slammed home, catching Ryoga in the chin and sending him
through the wall of the bathroom into the early morning sky.
    <Hhhmmm...Akane gets good distance even without her mallet,> Ryoga
thought absently.  Then he noticed where he was about to land.  His
rapid descent was carrying him straight towards the pond of a large
estate.  As he splashed down, he idly noticed that the estate looked
somehow familiar, but he couldn't put a finger on it.  As he struggled
to the edge of the pond he heard an impossibly cute voice cry out, "Oh!
Kawaii!"
    Akane's last words flashed through his words and he thought with
rising dread, <No!  She wouldn't!  Even she isn't that cruel.>
    She did, and she was.
    Ryoga/P-chan felt himself being picked up and found himself face to
face with Asuza Shiratori.  "Kawaii!  Charlotte, you've come back to
me!"

***

    As Akane stalked back to her room, aura still bright, her family
stuck their heads out of their doors to check on the commotion.
    "Oh my!  Akane, you should put on a robe!  You'll catch your death
of cold!"
    "Heh!  Looking good sis."
    After one look at his youngest daughter, Soun fell back into his
room unconscious, a small trickle of blood coming out of his nose.
    Akane burst into her room, focused on finding Ranma.  The object
of her search was sitting on her bed, a sheet wrapped around her to
cover her nakedness.  Ranma started to sweat when she noticed Akane's
anger.  Akane whipped out her mallet and started to advance on Ranma.
"Ranma, what did Ryoga mean about this being all your fault?"
    Stalling for time, she started with the obligatory, "Akane, wait, I
can explain."
    Akane advanced a couple more steps.
    With her brain actually keeping pace with her mouth, Ranma began
her explanation.  "You know Ryoga came after me because of that stupid
duel over the bread, but that wasn't the only reason.  You see, after
he didn't find me in that lot, he followed me to China, and Jyusenkyo.
He was standing on the cliffs over Jyusenkyo when pop came barreling
towards him in panda form.  Pop knocked him off balance.  I came right
behind, chasing pop cause I was still angry about being a half-girl.
I was so focused on pop, I didn't see Ryoga and I knocked him the rest
of the way off the cliffs.  He fell into the Spring of Drowned Piglet.
I found out about it after he showed up again in Nerima.  I had to
promise not to tell anyone about the curse.  Then he started abusing
the curse and my promise by going to bed with you as his pet.  I wanted
to tell you, but that damn promise kept me from it.  I was so damn
jealous of that pig!  That's when I started sneaking into your room with
hot water, so I could turn P-chan into Ryoga in your arms.  When that
didn't work, I started calling him P-chan and pig boy and P-chan Ryoga
in front of you, trying to get you to realize they were the same.  For
kami-sama's sake Akane, they had the same damn bandanna!  Only a stupid,
uncute tomboy like you wouldn't be able to figure it out."
    During Ranma's rushed explanation, Akane had advanced all the way
to her side.  As the explanation continued, the mallet slowly fell to
her side and the blue aura died down.  However, at Ranma's last couple
sentences the aura flared to life and the mallet rose anew.  "RANMA NO
BAKA!"
    Realizing her mouth had run away again, Ranma closed her eyes and
hunched down, preparing herself for the blow.  She heard the rushing
wind as the mallet descended and the loud SQUEAK as it bopped Ranma on
the head.
    Ranma's eyes popped open.  <Squeak?> she thought confused.  She felt
her head, but there was no bump.  Looking around, she found Akane
collapsed on the floor, wheezing with laughter.  "Akane?"
    Akane stopped laughing and looked up at her lover.  At the confused
look on Ranma's face she broke out into fits of laughter again and
shakily pointed to the mallet at her side.  Ranma picked it up, and
nearly dropped it in surprise.  It was rubber.  A child's squeaky toy.
Very realistic, but a toy none the less.  "That was a dirty trick Akane.
Now I'll never know when you're serious with that mallet or not."
    "Hehe.  That's the point Ranma-chan," Akane said as she stood.
"Maybe now you won't get me mad."
    "It's not like I do it on purpose you know.  Sometimes my mouth is
just quicker than my brain."
    Sitting down next to Ranma, Akane playfully ran her hand through
Ranma's hair and said, "I know, but it still makes me angry when you say
stupid things."
    Suddenly remembering the reason for their fight, and wanting to
change the subject, Ranma asked Akane "What did you do to Ryoga?"
    An evil grin settled on Akane's face as she asked in her sweetest
voice, "You remember Asuza Shiratori don't you?"
    Ranma answered offhandedly, "Yeah, so what?"  Then it hit her.  "You
didn't!"
    "I did!"
    "Oh poor Ryoga."  At this comment Ranma noticed the anger start
to return to her lover.  "Um...maybe not 'poor Ryoga,' but still Akane-
chan, wasn't that a little excessive?"
    "I didn't think so at the time."  Akane smiled that evil smile
again.
    "Um...Akane, remind me never to get you really mad at me.  The last
thing I want is to end up punted into the waiting arms of Kuno."  Ranma
shuddered at the thought.
    "Don't worry Ranma-chan, I want to keep you all to myself."  Akane
glomped Ranma and said, "Now where were we, before we were so rudely
interrupted by that pervert Ryoga."

***

Okay, please send me C&C.  Please?

All you Ryoga lovers out there, please don't hurt me.  It just happened.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
D.r. Jon Osborne GMPL          | "When he's a guy, she wants him.
jco005@drake.edu               | When he's a girl, she wants him
President: Drake Anime Club    | dead."
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