Necrophobia 1

LIGHTS! CAMERA! AND ACTION!

   Ranma was in a dress. 
   Most people would say that that makes you a transvesite.
Ranma would disagree venomously with that opinion. After
all he was a man. A man amongst men.
   But then one might ask if he was such a manly man why was
he wearing a dress. By this time in the person's interrogation of
Ranma they would have gained a bloody nose.
   He (Or to be more acurate she) twirled around and looked 
at the frilly thing she was wearing. The mirror in the store made
her look beautiful and unlike other people when she took it in
front of a regular mirror she would still look beautiful.
   It was a nice dress, but she absolutely hated wearing the damn
thing. There was only one reason why she wore it.
   "Oh, Ranko you look very pretty in that dress!"
   Ranma looked at her mother who was smiling brightly at him. Ranma
gave his best false laugh. (Which really sucked.)
   "Oh, Auntie Saotome! It's wonderful!"
   <This has to be the most embarrassing moment of my life.> Ranma thought
to himself.
   "Oh, Ranko,  why don't you go and try on some lengerie?"
   <Then again.>
   Ranma yawned and said,"Oh, Auntie Saotome I'm soooo tired. I really
need to get up early tomorrow morning."
   Nodoka said as they left the store,"Yes, you do need your sleep, Ranko.
So you can get up an look extra pretty for the boys at school. I'll even 
help you put on some makeup and soon all the boys will be asking 
you for dates."
   Ranma muttered under his breath,"This is a nightmare."
   Nodoka and Ranma walked away from the mall and were walking down a
street.
There was no one around and everything was quiet. Things were going well
until someone stepped out in front of them. Ranma knew the second he saw
who it was that he was doomed. Utterly doomed.
   "Can you tell me where the Tendo dojo is?"
   Ranma had lucked out in that Ryouga had not seen him and was talking to
Nodoka. Ranma jumped behind his mother so that Ryouga wouldn't see him.
   Nodoka smiled at Ryouga and said,"Oh, who might you be?"
   Ryouga did the usual thing when confronted with someone of the opposite
sex who was nice to him. He stuttered.
  "M-m-m-my na-name is Ryou-Ryouga Hi-Hib-Hibiki."
   Nodoka said,"Oh, that's a very nice name. Why are you going to the
Tendo Dojo?"
   Ranma still hadn't been seen by the lost boy. He thought <Please don't
let him say he's there to see me.>
   Ryouga pressed his two index fingers together and said,"Uh, I was going
to see Ranma Saotome."
   <Goddamn Murphy's Law!>
   Nodoka's eyes seemed to sparkle as she took hold of Ryouga's hands.
   She said very excitedly,"Really! You know my son! Tell me what he's
like!"
   Fortunately for Ranma Ryouga did not give his discription of what he 
thought Ranma was like. Unfortunately he saw Ranma hiding behind Nodoka.
   Ryouga said,"Ranma?"
   Nodoka said,"Yes, my son! What is he like?"
   Ryouga said,"He's right behind you."
   Nodoka turned around and looked in the other direction. But Ranma had
turned around with her so he was still behind her. Nodoka looked off in the
distance and said,"Oh, where is he? I don't see him."
   Ranma mouthed out to Ryouga,'Please don't let her see me.' 
   Ryouga lifted an eyebrow and softly questioned,"Reeze, mont bet fur be
she?"
   Nodoka turned around again and said,"Where is he? I didn't see him."
   Ranma had turned with Nodoka and was still behind her. Ryouga didn't look
all that amused so he reached over Nodoka's shoulder and pulled Ranma so
that he would face his mother.
   Ryouga pointed at pig-tailed martial artist and said,"This is Ranma."
   Nodoka looked at Ranma who had the appearance of a rabbit who was about
to be run over by a truck.
   Nodoka smiled and said,"You must be confused. That's Ranko Tendo."
   Ryouga looked at Ranma who seemed to be nodding his head frantically.
   A disgusted look crossed over Ryouga's face and he said,"You're pathetic
Saotome. Hiding from your own mother."
   Nodoka now thought that the poor boy was out of his mind.
   "That's Ranko. Not Ranma."
   Ryouga smiled and said,"Well, that can easily be changed."
   Ryouga pulled out a tea kettle full of hot water from hammer space and
splashed Ranma with it. <I am sooooo dead.> Ranma thought to himself grimly.
   Nodoka muttered,"R-R-Ranma?"
   Ranma bowed his head down and decided to tell all. 
   "I'm sorry mom. I tried to be a man amongst men, but I got this Jusenkyo
curse and...."
   There was a long period of silence which was broken by the lost boy.
   "What the hell are you talking about?"
   Ranma yelled at Ryouga,"If I'm not a man amongst men my mom will make me
commit seppuku!"
   Ryouga blinked and said slightly dissapointed,"Man, I wish I had found
out about this sooner."
   Before Ranma could attack Ryouga for his less than suitable comment
Nodoka
said sternly,"Ranma, you are not a man amongst men. But I can forgive
that..."
   Ranma sighed in relief.
   "...But I'm still going to have to kill you! Oh, why must honor make me
do such cruel things!"
   Ranma nearly jumped out of his skin as Nodoka quickly unsheathed her
sword.
He could have run away, but he didn't. He looked at Nodoka and for the first
time he was confident that she was not going to kill her only son. Surely
his
life was more important to her than honor. He hoped.
   Nodoka raised the sword high above her head and-

CUT!

That's it for this episode. See you next time.
Until I find better things to write about. Ja ne.