As Good As Ryouga Gets

Chapter 1

 He wiped his hands and looked back at the garbage shoot. 
 A job well done always put a grin on his face. That grin
went away the instant he heard the voice from behind him
say,"Hello, Mr.Hibiki."
 He knew who it was before he even turned around to look.
The voice was soft and did not seem to contain much confidence.
And to Ryouga it sounded really prissy. There was only one
person who spoke like that.
 As he turned around he said,"What can I do for you Mr.Kenzan?"
 Konatsu was a few inches shorter than Ryouga and had to look
up at him. He had very feminine facial features and had his
hair tied back in a ponytail. 
 Konatsu said,"Well, I was having this party and I really had 
to pay attention to my guests so-"
 Ryouga interrupted him by saying,"You know what the last five
words that went through my head were?"
 Konatsu looked confused and said,"Uh... no."
 Ryouga gave a sly smile as he said,"As. A. Three. Dollar. Bill."
 Konatsu sighed and rubbed his forehead as he said,"Mr.Hibiki, I
just wanted to know if you knew where P-Chan is."
 Ryouga raised an eyebrow and said,"P-Chan? Who's P-Chan?"
 "He's my pet pig. I put him outside and now I can't find him. Do
you know where he is?"
 Ryouga looked thoughtful for a second and then shrugged his shoulders.
 He said,"Can't say that I've ever seen a small pig around here 
before, but if you ask me the chinaman that was in the hall did it."
 Konatsu said,"Chinaman?"
 Ryouga smiled and said,"Yeah, you know. He play joke, he put pee pee in
your coke. Probably took your little pig and shoved a hot poker up its
ass and put an apple in its mouth. Then again the porker might enjoy it.
You know 'owner like pet'."
 Konatsu shook his head and looked Ryouga straight in the eyes.
 They just stood there with Konatsu looking at Ryouga real hard. Ryouga
couldn't take it and said,"What?"
 Konatsu said in a very soft tone,"You are a heartless, cruel, and bitter
little man."
 Ryouga said,"Thanks for the information, but I really have to go. Why 
don't you look for the pig on the floor. I mean you do get down on your
hands and knees a lot, right?"
 Konatsu turned away from Ryouga and walked over to his apartment. He opened
the door and went inside. The door slammed behind Konatsu a second later.
 Ryouga looked at the garbage shoot again and the grin was back on his face
again. 

All characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi.
'As Good As It Gets; belongs to a bunch of movie executives.
Until I find better things to write about. Ja ne.