The Laughter of the Gods, Goddamn Them
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Part 2

The young woman looked down at me with a gleam in her eye that I didn't
like at all. "You have five seconds to tell me what you're doing in this
house." Then she lowered her sword a little. "Hey! You're the guy who
let me out!"
	
	"WHAT?!" And then I noticed the little blue gem between the
points of her collarbone. "You're that witch who was buried there..."
	
	"WITCH!?! I'm no witch! I'm just a poor girl who got stuck here
about 650 years ago."
	
	Again, I was slightly surprised.

	For a start, you never ask a lady her age.

	And I wouldn't have put her a day over twenty.

	About my age, in fact. 

	Oh dear. 

	She looks just like Ryoko, too.

	"Um.. I live here."

	"What? But because of the mess... the cold... you know... I
thought it was empty."

	I nodded. "It's student accomodation. Look, you're welcome to
stay," I said, mentally crossing my fingers, "But please move that
sword!"

	"Oh. Sorry."

	"What's your name?"

	"Reioko." I shuddered. 
	
	"You're not any relation to a Ryoko, are you?"

	"My cousin? Where? KILL!"

	"STOP IT! I'll lose my bond!" I said, leaping to get the shower
curtains out of the way of her sword, which had leapt into being again. 

	"Bond?"

	"A sort of good behaviour guarantee that I won't damage the
house."

	"Money."

	"Yes."

	"Back to my cuz. Where is she? Near here?"

	"Japan... the other side of the world. Don't ask me to explain
this."

	"I won't, not yet. Now... I'm going to take this bath, and I
hope you will have some clothes that fit. Oh, and did you find some
jewels under the stone?"

	"Yep. Here." I flipped her two of the remaining five. Yet again,
there was that irritating *glingleingleingle* noise. This time it was
coming from the airing cupboard.

	"That's it..." I growled through clenched teeth as I threw the
door open. 

	Inside was a very short man who looked a lot like Hikaru
Gosunkugi. 

	"EEK- A pervert!"

	"Now, what are you doing in my house?"

	"Erm- I'm P. DeVice, minor deity of outrageous coincidence, and
I've been assigned to your household for a while. I make that irritating
*glingleingleingle* noise every time something happens- see?" He shook a
small bell. It went *glingleingleingle*.

	"OUT!"

	Using a strength I didn't know I had, I punched him through the
wall.
    
	"Now," she said, "THAT was impressive. How did you know I only
needed two more gems?"

	*glingleingleingle*

	"Call it instinct," I said. "Just call it instinct."
	*****

	Much later, Reioko had got herself out of the bath, and I was
frantically trying to find a key for another room in the house. Hey, I'm
a gentleman. If the woman of my dreams turns up, I don't immediately
expect to be jumping into the sack with her. (So don't expect this to
become a Lemon.)

	"So, what is there to do in a place like this?"

	"Well, there's the pub," I said, flicking through the channels
on the TV. The news caught my eye.

	"And tonight on BBC Wales: The mysterious disappearance of the
standing stone of Heol-Y-Cawl."

	Due to a lack of anything else to do, Reioko and I headed to the
nearby pub. She wasn't overdressed for the occassion; she had her
cousin's dress sense. I didn't ask where she got the imense quantity of
money she was flashing around.

	"Matthew! I see you found yourself a cheap tart."

	"Just the person I didn't want to meet," I muttered. Roger.
Attitude problem the size of Mount Fuji. Not the sort of person you want
to meet. And he was looking for a fight. I wasn't in the mood for one.
"Stow it, OK? I haven't the inclination to bandy words with you..." I
trailed off as I felt my hair starting to stand on end. Obviously,
Reioko has the same powers as her cousin.

	Turning, I saw Reioko's eyes beginning to glow yellow, and
sparks flyng all over the place. The locals at the Farmers can sense a
fight brewing, and normally scarper as soon as one starts, but for once
they didn't. This looked interesting. Alan, the landlord, gave me a
warning look. 

	"How... dare... he... call... me... that!" Reioko raised her
hand. I could see the beginnings of a glow starting in it, and grabbed
her arm. 

	"Reioko, don't. This can only cause trouble."

	"He's gotta pay for that!" 

	"Let me then." I turned back to Roger. "You heard what the lady
said. I'm fighting for her. Outside. Now."

	Roger laughed. I smiled an Evil smile. Every time I had fought
someone before, I'd been holding back. 

	Five minutes later, I mused that even going all out, I wasn't
that good at barehanded fighting. But I kept going. After all, the good
name of a lady was at stake. 

	Admittedly, there was blood trickling into my eyes, and I was
sure I had a few broken ribs. But that didn't matter. I kept going.

	*glingleingleingle*

	"ENOUGH!" Reioko stormed forwards. She pulled her arm back and
demolished Roger in one blow. It was a very impressive blow. It lifted
him clean off his feet, and laid him out.

	"Matthew... you didn't have to do that for me." Reioko was
looking straight into my eyes, and for a minute, I thought we were going
to kiss.

	We didn't. 

	A cloud of dust, a moaning, groaning noise, and a severe
downdraft interrupted. Reioko looked up, and pulled me up too, my arm
round her shoulders. I wasn't quite sure what I was seeing, but I
assumed, from the size of it, that a spacecraft of some sort was
landing.

	"Great," muttered Reioko. "Just who we need now."

	"Who is it?"

	"My Mother." I nodded. That would make sense. And that means
that this is Washuu's sister.

	"Wonderful," I burbled, not caring that there was blood
dribbling from my mouth. "I know you for a few hours, and then I meet
your mother. We'll probably be engaged by tomorrow."

	Aparrently, that was the point that I passed out.

      End of part two.