Subject: Re: [FFML][X-0ver] Untitled
From: Jp dr AMP
Date: 5/1/1998, 3:53 PM
To: shihlin@pacific.net.sg, ffml@fanfic.com

In a message dated 98-04-30 09:58:31 EDT, shihlin@pacific.net.sg writes:

Authors Note:  Oh I could go on but I decided to end the chapter here,
 unless you want a description of what happened on the first night. The
 events that happened in the original first night are pretty similiar to
 the ones that will happen here. So that doesn't leave much to write
 about, just the important stuff Well I guess thats about it then.

Not a bad fic idea. I particularly like what you've done to change the
politics of El Hazard (which would make for an interesting fic w/o the Ranma
connection.)

However, there's a few problems.

You assume the reader has knowledge of El Hazard. This is a "bad thing" a
fanfic (like just about any other piece of fiction) should be able to, by and
large, stand on its own. This is practically impossible with the way you've
written the fic.

Also, stemming from that, you make some incredible leaps in the plot. Again, a
"bad thing" You're telling us a story, so tell it... don't just show the
changes from the original.

Damien Roc