On Fri, 24 Apr 1998, Coutuva wrote:

I come back to you with hat in hand after getting
my *butt* kicked over the last version of this
chapter.  I humbly submit this rewrite in the hope
that it restores your faith.  It's a major change,
and also features a redirection of the entire
storyline.

Thanks!  Will now clip down to the appropriate spot.

	Arriving outside the aforementioned door, she was again
surprised to discover it was not locked.  In fact, it was actually
ajar.  Cranking her senses up to maximum, she pushed the large
portal open and stepped through it.
	"You do realize you're trespassing, don't you?"  Anita
remarked, turning in her high-backed chair to regard Hitomi
levelly.

Ah, much more in the evil mastermind mode Anita showed earlier...

	"That's the least of your worries."  Hitomi replied,

worries," Hitomi
	There are a couple of these, so I won't repeat myself.

	"And why should I care what you care?  You can't do 
anything to me... this room is being monitored, and if you so 

Presumably audio and video are on separate circuits, so any incriminating 
bits can be cut.
 > much as lay a finger on me, I'll have your tight 
little ass

in court before you know what hit you!" Anita snarled right back,
eyeing Hitomi arrogantly.  "My 'advice' to you is to just walk 
away... and let the best woman win.  Kikyo-chan will come around;
Once she sees what I really have to offer her."  she added, her
attitude becoming even more smug.

around, once

	Hitomi glared across the desk at the woman, her mind
locked in a vicious debate.  Her instincts were screaming at her
to protect Kikyo and their baby, but she knew that anything she
did now would likely make matters far worse.
	A long silence hung in the room until Hitomi abruptly
relaxed her glare and calmed herself.  A smile crossed her face
as she did, and she even chuckled out loud.

Getting the last laugh?

	Anita was incensed.  "What the hell do you find so
funny?"  she demanded, leaning forward to glare at the now quite
happy redhead.
	"Baka... It doesn't matter what you do.  Kikyo loves *me*,
and that's never going to change.  I have absolutely nothing to

Due to the supernatural intervention...

	Anita uttered no response until Hitomi was well on her way
down the hall, but when she did, it sent a chill down the redhead's
back.  The scream of anger and anguish that echoed down the
wide passage gave her the sinking feeling that their problems had
just begun.

Much better.  Now to see if Hitomi can actually think her way through 
this situation, since she hasn't had a lot of practice at the skill.

	Kikyo stared at the clock mounted in the wall across from
her, counting the minutes since Hitomi had left.  She was scared
to death that her girlfriend would kill Anita, and she wouldn't
even let herself think about what that could mean.
	Another minute passed, making a total of 124.
	She felt the change of number as physically as if someone 
had slapped her.
	Doing her best to roll on her side, she drew her blankets 
up to her chin and held them tightly, hoping that the sleeping
meds she had been given would eventually work.
	Just as she finished with that thought, she was startled
by the sound of her room door opening and several people entering.
Flopping on her back again, she looked over toward them, only to 
note that there were four of them, dressed in dark clothes.
	As she opened her mouth to ask what the hell they wanted,
a fifth one out of sight behind her clamped a gloved hand over it.
	"You will excuse the less-than-polite manner of our visit,
Ms. Kikyo, but we bear a personal invitation for you to join our
employer at her residence for the duration of your recovery.  She 
is sure you will find the accomodations more pleasant."  a weasly
male voice stated into her ear.  "You may cooperate and come along
quietly, which we would prefer given your 'condition', but we are
prepared to force the issue... if necessarry."  he continued,

necessary

indicating one of his cohorts sporting a small bag.  "Will you
accept our invitation?"  he asked finally, moving to glare into
her wide, panicked eyes.
	Kikyo, without any weapons and already worried about her
baby, nodded quickly.  The man smiled in response.  Quickly, he 
removed his hand from her face and slapped a large chunk of 
dressing tape over her mouth, then taped her wrists together under 
her blankets.  That done, he signalled to his 'associates'
to move out.
	They moved around Kikyo's bed and started to simply roll 
it and her out of the room, heading directly toward the elevator.
Within moments, she was quietly moved into Emergency, lifted 
carefully to a stretcher and wheeled out of the Hospital.

no caps on "hospital" unless it's part of a proper name.

	Outside, she was loaded into a waiting Ambulance, 

same with "ambulance"

inside which were more men and two female EMT's.
	As they secured her for the trip, Kikyo closed her eyes
and began to cry, finally realizing what this activity likely 
meant.  Anita was obviously alive and well, but that fact begged
an even more worrisome question;  What had happened to Hitomi?

question:  what

	Okay, Anita obviously has a *lot* of influence for a foreigner, 
to have this cast of dozens at her beck and call.  But she seems to use 
it rather heavy handedly, and if she hadn't hit our protagonists, it 
wouldn't have been too long before someone else would have struck out at 
her, probably through Rei-chan (and where is the daughter through all 
this?) 

SKJAM!