(begin opening credits)

(sung)
- - -We hate Animes
- - -What's with these guys anyway?
- - -Tiny mouths and hubcap eyes
- - -Repair bills are on the rise
- - -Karl better soon get wise
- - -Before it's one of use who dies.

- - -Dr. Karl Stoopenstein
- - -Had a little to much wine
- - -Now we're stuck in space and time
- - -Tell us, just what was our crime?

- - -Now we're the
- - -ANIME HOSPITAL!
- - -ANIME HOSPITAL!
- - -Nine to five we're curing ailments
- - -Of people purely fictional!

- - -Toni's got an attitude
- - -Let her bark, her bites hurt more
- - -Heather's got both her eyes glued
- - -On every single guy's barn door.
- - -Mike's a romantic
- - -Pam's a mystery
- - -Karl's always frantic
- - -Brain the size of a flea.

- - -Life's a little dangerous
- - -Doctors only raise a fuss
- - -Screaming out our final plea
- - -All we want's reality!

- - -Cause we're the
- - -ANIME HOSPITAL!
- - -ANIME HOSPITAL!
- - -Nine to five we're curing ailments
- - -Of people purely fictional!

C       R       A       S       H       !       !


ANIME HOSPITAL
                                    
by J L Morreale
                                    
                                    
episode # 3
                                    
Basic Macek


The cafeteria was packed as usual. Hospital staff and Animes all shared the
area as equals, each seeking a quick bite to eat and fighting over free seats
at the woefully inadequate number of tables. One table, however, was not the
subject of dispute, and the occupants did their best to not not notice
everyone else in the cafeteria. That table was number 1-A, called "The Inkless
Zone" because even though everyone 
in the hospital hated Animes, only Mike, Heather, Pam and Toni were shown any
respect by the targets of their dislike. The four friends all sat at their
customary table, conversing amongst themselves. Heather was particularly vocal
on this day.

"...and he has the one of the biggest-" she was in the midst of saying.

"Nurse Farley!" Mike said in alarm.

"-checking accounts I've ever seen," she finished, glancing at Mike with
annoyance. "What did you think I was going to say?"

"Nothing," Mike said, and a slight blush fell over his cheeks. He tried to
hide it by biting down on the massive submarine sandwich he was grasping in
his massive hands.

Almost offhandly, Heather added, "Oh, his buns are pretty cute too. Just like
yours."

Mike squeezed down so hard on the sandwich that a good deal of the fixings in
the back sprayed all over Toni. Pam dodged the mustard with casual ease. He
gave Heather a baleful look. "What did you just say?" he asked in fridged
tones. Toni immediately began to clean herself off while throwing dangerous
looks at Heather and Mike's way.

Heather gave him one of her best innocent smiles and said, "He owns a bakery.
He took me there yesterday."

"You weren't talking about baked goods!"

"Sure I was!"

"Sure you were," Toni and Pam said in flat tones.

Toni leaned back then and patted her stomach in satisfaction. "Well, that was
filling," she said.

"For an elephant," Heather returned, and she was rewarded with a severe blow
to her head from Toni's plate. As the plate broke into pieces and fell away
from the base of her skull, Heather simply said, "I guess I deserved that..."
in slightly whimpering voice.

"Yes, you did," Toni said. "Now then, are we all going to meet at my place
like we planned tonight to play poker?"

Pam nodded, and Heather said, "Definately! I still think we should play strip
poker, since Mike's such a bad player,"

Mike choked on the bite he had taken, and he had to cough for a short while
before he could breathe easily again. He met Heather with a flat look and
said, "Nurse Farley..." in a very dangerous tone. He did not finish the
statement, though, settling for looking guiltilly at his glass of lemon-lime
soda and saying, "I can't come."

"Hey, no problem," Heather said, all smiles. "There are other ways you can
entertain me."

Mike glared at her and growled savagely. Heather took the hint and said,
"Okay, okay. That went too far. So, why can't you come to the game?"

"Yeah, we were counting on you, Mike," Toni added.

Mike returned his gaze to the glass of soda and said. "I'd rather not say."


"Oh, no you don't," Toni snapped. "You can't back out of our game like that
and not tell us why."
        
"Li, please..."
        
"Don't you 'Li, please' me. I want an answer, pronto!"
        
Mike stared at his glass a bit longer and finally said, with a great deal of
discomfort, "I, uh, have a, uh, date."
        
"You have a date?!" Toni said with surprise. Heather clapped her approval and
Pam simply nodded her head once.
        
"Come on, tell us who it is," Heather pressed. 
        
Mike twitched. He turned to her angrilly and said, "Look, I have a date, and
that's all I'm going to tell you, all right?!" His voice had risin slightly
higher than he'd intended, but before he had a chance to lower it, the damange
had been done.
       
 Suddenly the entire cafeteria silenced. Somebody murmured, "Nurse Jones has a
date?"
        
Another voice answered, "First I've heard of it."
        
"I wonder who it is."
        
"I bet she's cute."
        
"Why don't you ask him?"
       
"No way. You ask him!"
        
Mike stiffened in his seat. His face had turned six shades of red by this
time, and finally he exploded into full fury. He ran out of the cafeteria as
fast as he could, knocking several tables and the people sitting at them over
in the process.
        
The three women remaining watched the scene with surprised awe. Finally, Toni
said, "So, should we respect his privacy and not try to find out who this
mystery date is?"
        
They looked at each other for a long time, and finally all said, "Nahhhhh!" at
once. They formed a semi-huddle to work out their plot to uncover the identity
of Mike's date.


       
 Once the lunch break was over, Toni sat at her cluttered desk, busily typing
away at her computer. She was running through the files on some of the doctors
and nurses at the hospital to see if any of them were likely to be Mike's
mystery date.
       
 One of the doctors walked up to the counter and said, "Hi, Toni. What's up?"
        
"The Roadbuster and the Mach V are racing in the parking lot again," she said
without glancing up from her monitor.
       
 "Really? Who's winning?"
        
"A-Ko. She jumped in just for the heck of it, and the parking lot is
suffering." She tapped a few more buttons and then said, "Say, where's that
report you said you were going to get me. I've been waiting since this morning
for it."
        
The doctor gave Toni a distressed look and said, "Uh, well, I was busy so I
gave it to an Anime who was headed your way."
        
"I didn't see any Anim-" Suddenly alarm crossed Toni's face. "Wait! Which
Anime did you give it to?"
       
"I don't know one Anime from the other. They all look alike to me."
        
"Then describe him," Toni pressed. "Can you at least say which universe he
came from?"
       
He thought for a bit, and finally said, "Um, well, he was wearing a yellow
headband with black marks on it, and he looked angry about something. I think
he was from one of the Takahashi Universes."
        
Toni clutched her head in frustration. "I knew it! You gave the file to
Ryouga, you moron! You'd better find him before he gets out of the hospital,
or it could be next year before I finally get that file!"
        
The doctor edged away from the counter, stuttering, "Y-Yes Toni. I-I'll get
right to it!" and with that he left down towards the south wing.
        
When Toni finally looked up from her computer again, she noticed that the
waiting room had become considerably packed since the last time she looked.
"All right, everyone, come up and tell me what's wrong."
        
A large group of Animes approached Toni. As they got closer, Toni mumbled to
herself, "Macekans. Not them!" She studied each one in turn and began to punch
up their files on the computer. "Lisa Hayes, depression because of lost love.
Rick Hunter, anxiety over love triangle. If you'd just dump that rotten little
brat you wouldn't be having these problems. Minmei, depression because nobody
likes you anymore. Gee, looks like you've got the last appointment, so take a
seat. Bowie, depression because of lost love. Scott Bernard, depression
because of lost love... More lost loves... Still more lost loves. How many of
you have lost loves anyways?"
        
Nearly half of the assembled Macekans raised their hands in response to the
question, although they did so half-heartedly.
        
"I know what'll cheer you up!" Minmei said suddenly. "I'll sing for you!"
        
"NO! DON'T!!!" Everyone said. Minmei pouted and sat back down, while everyone
else breathed a sigh of relief.
        
Toni looked back to her monitor. "Seems that everyone is here because you're
upset about one thing or another." She scratched he head, perplexed. "How in
the world did you all get scheduled for the same day?"


        
"So, has phase one of our plan succeeded?" The Zentraedi leader asked. Deep in
outer space, millions of Zentraedi cruisers, Robotech Master warships, and
Invid vessals slowly approached the Earth. Aboard the Invid flagship, the
leaders from all three fleets were holding a meeting in the utmost secrecy.
Because this is a spoof of Robotech, however, we get to eavesdrop on the bad
guys anyway.
        
"It has." the Invid Queen, Regis,  replied. "We have managed to alter the
files in the Anime Hospital computers to show that all of our enemies have
appointments scheduled for today. Now, while they are without their advanced
weaponry, they will be completely helpless!"
        
"Yes," The Robotech Elder triad agreed. "Their morale will be at its lowest
point while they are in treatment. It appears that this thing called emotion
has finally been turned to our advantage."
        
"Too many times we have suffered humiliating defeats at the hands of those
meddling micronians," Khyron said. "Now, at last, we will have our revenge!"
        
"Agreed," The Robotech Elders said. They turned to face Regis. "Are your
forces in position for phase two?"
        
"My shock troopers are ready," she assured them. 
        
They stood there, watching the screen in silence for a few moments. Finally,
Azonia spoke up. "Somehow, I feel as if we're supposed to do something more at
this point."
        
"Yes," Regis replied. "I believe the expected action is a thing called a
'villainous laugh.'"
        
"Shall we give it a try?" The triad asked.
        
"We're obliged to."
        
With that, the five of them made a wooden attempt at an evil laugh. Halfway
through it, they all broke off and stared at the viewscreen again.
        
"That was pointless." The Khyron said.
        
"Yes, one wonders why such things are neccesary." the triad agreed.
        
"If I might say so," Regis said, "We appear to have been on screen for a bit
longer that our usual airti-"


        
Once Toni had sorted everyone out and had them where they were supposed to be,
she took a moment to relax. She glanced over to the front doors and noticed
Madoka from the KOR Universe come inside. She gingerly approached the front
desk and asked, "Excuse me, is Michael Jones in at the moment?"
        
"Who, Mike? Sure he's around here somewhere. What do you need with him?"
        
Madoka shuffled her feet nervously. "I just need to talk with him about
something."
        
Toni gave her a quizzical look. "About what?" she said. Then her face lighted
up with shock. "No! Nonononononono! It couldn't be!"
        
"I'm sorry, Miss?" Madoka said with a slightly embarassed voice.
        
"Madoka!" Mike's voice called from down a hall. Moments later, the brawny
nurse hopped up to the desk with a worried look in his eyes. "What are you
doing here?"
        
"I just wanted to tell you-" she began, but Toni interrupted her.
        
"I can't believe it!" she said. "You're dating her?! She's an Anime, Mike! How
could you?" She had risen from her chair and had propped both her fists on the
desk.
        
"Oh! Toni!" Mike said, realizing where he was. "Um, well. You see..."
        
"Mike, you traitor! I thought you hated Animes as much as we all did."
        
Suddenly Heather walked up. "What's this?"
        
"This is Mike's date." Toni said with a hiss. By now, Madoka looked about
ready to cry.
        
Heather laughed. "You're kidding, right? Mike hates Animes." She looked at the
other three, and her voice lost its humor. "You are kidding, right? Ohhh, my
gosh. Oh, I gotta tell the other nurses about this!"
        
"Nurse Farley! No!" Mike said, but Heather had already run off. Before he
could chase after her, though, he was distracted by a whimper from Madoka.
        
"Is this true, Michael? Do you hate Animes?"
        
Mike looked nervously from Toni to Madoka while Heather spread the news,
making his situation even more hopeless. "Uh, well. Erm, I- uh-"
        
Fortunately, before Mike had to answer the question, the wall next to him
exploded.


* * * Commercial Break * * *


[ Two children are sitting at the dinner table, looking at the plates in front
of them. In the center of each plate is a plain burger.]

Boy: Hamburgers again?  Boooooorrrrriiiiinnnngggggg!!!

Girl: I wish burgers were more fun to eat.

[ Suddenly Magical Girl Pretty Sammi bursts through the kitchen window,
wielding her magic scepter.]

Pretty Sammi: Don't worry kids, I'll save your dinner!

[Pretty Sammi waves her scepter over the table. Magic dust leaks out of it an
surrounds the two burgers. After the twinkling stops, the hamburger buns have
sesami seeds all over them.]

Boy and Girl: Wow! What are those?

Pretty Sammi: Sasami Seed Buns! They make any burger more fun! Just try it and
see!

[ The kids eagerly snatch up their burgers and bite into them]

Burgers: Myaa! Myaa!! Myaaaaa!!!

Boy: Cool!

Girl: Thanks, Pretty Sammi. Now we love burgers for dinner!

Pretty Sammi [To the screen]: Sasami Seed Buns. They're a tsunami of fun!

Burgers: Myaa! Myaa!


* * * End Commercial Break * * *


Droves of Invid shock trrops flooded into the lobby. They fired a few shots,
scattering Animes in every direction. Soon the halls were filled with all
varieties of Invid. The shock troops, the scout ships, an ED-209, and all the
advanced battle armors of Sera and Corg were present. In a very short time
they had everyone rounded up in the lobby and under tight guard.
        
"Attention micronians!" A voice announced through the loudspeakers in the
hospital. "We have you completely surrounded. You will surrender to our
demands or we shall vaporize this planet. Our first demand is that you
relinquish all of our foes to us so that we may dispose of them at our
liesure. Our second demand is that you return all protoculture and flowers of
life to us, as well as the vessal known as the SDF-1. Third, you will provide
us with a hamburger and large fries."
        
"I thought we agreed on pizza," another voice suddenly said.
        
"We do not have time to debate about this again. Well, micronians? What is
your reply?"
        
Karl von Stoopenstien was having a perfect fit about this, and Mike looked
about ready to kill the first Invid that looked at him funny. Toni, however,
remained calmly seated at her desk and pressed the two-way comm button at her
desk. "Um, could you give us a little time on that? Hamburgers are pretty hard
to come by, you know."
        
There was a long silence, and finally the Zentraedi leader spoke. "You have
twenty-four of your Earth hours. After that, we shall destroy this planet if
we have not gotten what we demand."
        
Heather was looking at all of the Macekans in the lobby and saying, "Well,
come on you guys! Aren't you supposed to be taking care of this problem?"
        
Dana looked up at her and sighed. "We can't do anything without our weapons or
mecha. Besides, I don't really feel like fighting anymore." A few of the
others near her voiced their agreement at that.
        
"Great!" Heather said. "I can't believe this is happening."
        
Suddenly the front doors burst open and in walked a demented-looking guy with
several hideous burns on his face. "MacGyverrrrrrrrr!!!!!" he screamed.
        
Everyone turned to face him with shocked expressions. Toni simply sighed and
propped her chin on the palm of her hand. "This is the Anime Hospital,
Murdock. It's 'The Guyver' around here. You want the Syndication Hospital four
blocks down."
        
The look of rage on his face suddenly disappeared. "Oh, I see." Then he was
looking down the barrel of one of the shock trooper's energy weapons. "Have I
come at a bad time?" he said, as he raised his arms in surrender.
        
"Yes," Toni said, "As a matter of fact, you have."


        
A few hours had passed, and to add to the Invid came a few bioroids and
Zentraedi battle pods. All of the Macekans were gathered together like one
giant heap of depression, the fight gone completely out of them. Off in the
corner, Madoka was playing a sad melody on her saxaphone, although how she got
it was a mystery.  The entire staff of the hospital had gathered together and
were discussing the situation.
        
"Well, what are we going to do?" one of the doctors said.
        
"We couldn't just let them have what they want, could we?" Heather suggested.
        
"Nurse Farley!" Mike said. "Of course we can't do that. If there's a way to
defeat them, we have to find it."
        
"Oh, yeah, sure," Toni said. "There's only a few dozen of their fighters right
here ready to blast us to kingdom come the minute we try anything, not to
mention the million or so odd ships in that giant armada flying over our
heads. No problem, I'm sure we can fight them just fine." Her veil of sarcasm
dropped and she suddenly became rather violent as she said, "We're a hospital!
What are we going to do, prescribe them
barbituates and hope they fall into a coma or something? We can't fight things
like this!"
        
"Heck, we have to give them treatment when they come in with injuries,"
Heather said. "I hate Animes." 
        
"Hear hear!" a good number of doctors and nurses said.
        
Suddenly Heather looked down. "Oh, did you want to say something, Doctor?"
Karl was twisting around on the floor, bound and gagged, and did not look
happy about it in the least. Mike reached down and undid his gag.
        
"I want you all to know that I am very upset about this!" he said.
        
"Yeah, we figured that much out," Heather said. "Are you going to say
something important or should we just tie you up again?"
        
"No! I can help. I have an idea"
        
"Is that even possible?" Toni said.
        
"We have to get to my lab. I'm sure I have something there that can deal with
this problem."
        
They all looked at him for a long moment. "Maybe," Heather finally said.
"Only, there's just one problem. Your lab's out there, and we have all those
heavily armed psychos blocking our way."
        
"Leave that to me," Pam said then.
        
Everyone turned and looked at the serious expression on the nurse's face and
nodded their heads. Despite the fact that very little was actually known about
Pam, everyone knew that the nurse could be relied on to find solutions for the
most hopeless problems.
        
"I need to know one thing first," she said, before she told them her plan.
"Mike, are you going to appologize to Madoka for your rudeness to her?"
        
Everyone smacked their foreheads in exasperation.

        
"Excuse me, you appear to be the one in charge here," Pam said to Corg. He
tuned to face her, ready to blast her at first, but because she didn't do
anything suspicious, he relaxed and opened his armor to allow himself to climb
out.
        
"What is it you want, human?" Corg asked.
        
"I have a question," Pam continued, unphased by the imminant threat. As she
talked, Karl, Heather and Toni were edging toward one of the halls.
        
"You may ask, human."
        
"You have your enemies at your mercy right now. Why do you not kill them now?"
        
Corg looked at her with disdain. "Ignorant creature," he said. "We cannot
destroy them here. To do so would remove them from existance, and without them
existing, we could not exist either. We must destroy them in our Universe to
ensure that the story is changed so that we emerge as the victors."
        
"Oh, I see. So it would be bad if something happened to them while they were
here," Pam continued.
        
"Yes, it would be bad. Why are you asking us these things, human?" Corg
appeared to be losing his patience.
        
"Oh, I just wanted to know if you would be upset if I did this." With that,
Pam delievered a rather violent punch to Lisa Hayes, knocking her down.
        
"Hey!" Lisa said, "what was that for?"
        
"Or if he did that," Pam continued, and, taking his cue, Mike clocked Lunk,
most likely because he was his equal in body mass. Lunk did not take the punch
philosophically, and he struck back at Mike.
        
"Wait! What are you doing?" Corg said. "Stop this! I command you!" It was too,
late, however, as nearly the entire staff of the hospital started jumping all
the Macekans. As they did so, they succeeded in getting the characters rather
upset.
        
Mike was still one-on-one with Lunk, Pam has her hands full with both Dana
Sterling and Rook, but she appeared to be doing well, and everyone else was
doing about as well as could be expected of doctors and nurses against trained
soldiars. The only group that appeared to be doing any ammount of damage to
their opponant were the twenty or so odd that chose to jump Minmei.
        
The Invid shock troops and the others were thrown into confusion, unsure of
what to do, but knowing that they wanted what was happening to stop. They
began to enter the fray in a desperate attempt to end the brawl any way they
could. As the confusion was reaching a peak, Pam took a moment to glance
Toni's way and nod.
        
The trio who were lurking on the sidelines took the signal. Before long Karl,
Heather and Toni were rushing down the halls to get to Dr Stoopenstein's lab.

  
      
"I still don't think this is going to work," Toni was saying as they opened
the door to the lab.
        
"Just trust me," Karl said. "We'll find something."
        
"Do you trust him?" Toni asked Heather.
        
"No," Heather said simply.
        
"Neither do I."
        
"Oh! You two should show more repect for me," Karl said with an indignant air.
        
The three walked into the lab and looked around. "Sheesh, what a dump!"
Heather said. "It's a wonder you could find yourself in a place like this!"
Indeed, Karl's lab did give new meaning to the phrase "pig sty" with all of
the electronic and mechanical gadgetry spread throughout the laboratory. The
three had a great deal of trouble just walking as they waded through it all.
        
"Just what... ouch! is it we're supposed to be looking for?" Toni said with
disgust.
        
"I'm not sure yet," Karl said. "I'll know when I find it, though."
        
"I'll kill him," Heather said, but as she attempted to climb over some junk to
get at him, she tripped and fell. "Hey, wait! I think I found something!"
        
"Really? What?" Toni said.
        
"This," Heather said as she stood up and cleared some junk away from what
appeared to be a control panel. A big, shiny label on it read "All-purpose
Plot Device: One-time use only."
        
"That looks like exactly what we need all right." Toni admitted.
        
"How do we work this thing, Doc?" Heather asked.
        
"All the man who sold it to me said was that you press the right button for
the problem you need solved, and it does the work itself," Karl answered. 
        
They all looked at the control panel and read off the labels under the
buttons. "Problem... big problem... disaster... Armageddon would be more
pleasant... It's Monday... The Zentraedi, Robotech Masters and Invid have
teamed up and are threatening to blow up the world."
        
They all looked at each other, and Toni said, "It really is an all-purpose
plot device. Okay, let's press it, and see what happens."
        
Meanwhile, the brawl that Pam had started had managed to return the fighting
spirit to the depressed characters. The Invid and others might have been able
to handle it if suddenly a large number of Robotech mecha hadn't suddenly
appeared out of nowhere.
        
Rook and Rand were climbing into cyclones, Rick, Scott and Max were boarding
their respective mecha, and Dana, Bowie and the rest of her crew were prepared
to do battle. Inside the space of seconds, the scirmish with the hospital
staff had accelerated into an all-out war with the small force that had been
holding them prisoner.
        
In short, it was a massacre.
        
Out in space, the six leaders had been thrown into confusion. "What is going
on down there?" Khyron was demanding, when suddenly he turned to the
viewscreen. They all gaped in surprise when millions of mecha started to
appear in space, followed by no less than twelve Super Dimensional
Fortresses.
        
"Where did those come from!" the Elders cried out in surprise.
        
"It is estimated that the total force assembled is enough to completely
destroy our armada," Regis said. "I reccommend we retreat."
        
"Agreed, this attempt has failed," the Azonia declared.
        
"I knew we should have asked for pizza, it's guarrenteed to get there in an
hour or less," the Elders said.
        
Once the massive fleet escaped out of real space and back into their proper
universes, the mecha slowly faded out of existance, as did the mecha that were
conveniently wrecking property back near the hospital. Fortunately, the bad
guys had fled from there as well.
        
Heather, Toni, and Karl ran to the lobby and stared in silence for a little
while at all the destruction. Karl then fainted. "I don't know what you did,
but it worked great," Mike said.
        
Heather continued to look around. "If you say so," she said. "Except for the
repairs, are our troubles over?"
        
"Think again," Toni said, and pointed to the front door. Hobbling their way
inside were the Macekans, extremely injured because the macha they were riding
suddenly dissappeared, dropping them on the ground.
        
"Well, at least they aren't depressed anymore," Heather said.


        
The next morning, the four friends had gathered in the nurse's lounge to
discuss the events from the day before. "So, how was your date?" Heather asked
Mike.
        
"I still say he's a traitor," Toni said.
        
"Oh, you! We don't all have to hate Animes you know."
        
"I know, but I thought I at least had Mike's support as far as that went."
        
"It's 'Nurse Jones'," Mike said.
        
"I really wish you'd stop asking everyone to call you that, Mike," Toni said.
        
"Never mind," Mike said. "Nothing much happened. Madoka decided that she still
loved Kyousuke and that she felt guilty about dating me. That's what she had
come to tell me."
        
"Figures," Toni said. "You know," she added, "Somehow I feel like I've
forgotten something."
        
In the streets of Paris, a young man wearing a yellow headband and carrying a
backback with an umbrella strapped to the top walked, stopping people at
random. He was holding a file in his hand, and as he stopped one person, he
could be heard asking, "Excuse me, could you tell me where the front lobby of
Anime Hospital is?"


Preview of next week's episode.
--------------------------------------
                                    

        
Giant mecha are best know for the ammount of damage they can do, so when some
of the biggest giant robots and mecha around show up at the same time, will
Anime Hospital be destroyed when an evil force somehow takes them over? Find
out what happens next week in episode four "Big Mech Attack!"


(begin ending credits, to tune of Achey Brackey Heart by Billie Ray Cyrus)

Stop before you play
That Streamline Anime.
I don't think I can take that awful sound.
Don't say I'm being snide
Or that I haven't tried
You're taking to one fan whose been around

They think they're at their best
When they cast Reba West
Voices so shrill it makes you want to cry
Please just eject that tape
While I make my escape
If I see Carl's name I might just die

Don't play that dub
That Macek-ech-ey dub
It's just too painful to endure
And if you play that dub
That Macek-ech-ey dub
You might discover that there is no cure

Whoooo......

I skated on thin ice
By watching Zillion twice
I winced when Nausicaa was ripped apart
But that doesn't compare
To when the Dirty Pair
Was recast by a man who has no heart

The pain doesn't end there
Come on pull up a chair
I'll tell you tales that could rework your brain
Don't say I'm only pleased
When I hear Japanese
Take Disney, man with them I don't complain

Don't play that dub
That Macek-ech-ey dub
I can't endure that kind of trash
And if you play that dub
That aggrivating dub
I might get out of here inside a flash

Whooooo......

Don't play that dub
That Macek-ech-ey dub
He translates like a language hack
Oh please don't play that dub
That horrifying dub
You may as well just stab me in tha back

Don't play that dub
That Macek-ech-ey dub
It's just too painful to endure
And if you play that dub
That Macek-ech-ey dub
You might discover that there is no cure

Whooooo......