Feel free to comment, flame, discuss the hygene habits of my
ancestors....
SODB
A Ranma 1/2 Fan-fiction
by Dan Root
The passing crowed stared in unbridled curiosity. Nerima ward was
well know for it's unusual inhabitants, but this was beyond normal
even for its jaded citizens. A young boy and a rather large panda
were engaged in a running fight down the street, exchanging furiously
fast blows as then ran.
"No way old man!" duck, swing, jump, a few steps, "I am *NOT*"
block, swing, kick, a few more steps, "ready to get" dodge, dodge,
dodge, throw, sprint, block, "married!"
In response the panda threw a few more punches, a kick and then
growled somewhat menacingly.
The boy was, on second glance, in fact a young man, perhaps 16 or
17, with wild black hair pulled into a short pigtail. He moved
with an efficient grace and had the wiry musculature of a life-long
athlete. Finally he slammed both feet into the black and white
bear's head in rapid succession, leaving it sprawled out in the
street.
"And that's final. We'll go meet them, but I'm *not* getting
engaged, even if it is a matter of family honor. Now get up." his
voice was cocky, bordering on outright arrogance. He stood over
the fuzzy creature, hands on his hips.
Finally the panda grunted, as if in agreement and heaved itself
into a standing position.
The two of them began to run through the streets again, this time
emphasizing the running rather than fighting. Not that this stopped
either from taking a casual swing at the other if the opportunity
presented itself.
A quiet murmur ran through the crowd of residents and pedestrians
who had been out enjoying the fine weather. Strange was not so
unusual to them in their day to day life, but that had been downright
odd.
***
Tendou Kasumi, eldest daughter of Tendou Soun, was carefully hanging
the wash on the laundry lines behind the house. All around her,
everything was nice and orderly. The garden was trimmed, the dishes
were clean, the birds were singing for her in the trees, Akane was
off breaking bricks and Nabiki was doing, well, Nabiki things.
She was in her heaven and all was right with the world.
Until her father came barreling out of the house, waving a postcard
in one hand. "Kasumi, fetch your sisters. We'll be having guests
soon, and I need to talk to you."
Guests. Oh my. Perhaps she had better put a kettle on for tea.
***
Nabiki was spared the effort of having an aneurism on account of
her younger sister Akane beating her to it.
"ENGAGED, what do you mean ENGAGED?" she roared at their now
cringing father. 3. 2. 1. Waterworks. The Tendou Soun geyser
went off right on schedule.
Kasumi stared, politely, since everything Nabiki's elder sister
did was proper and polite. "Well.... I do hope he's older. Younger
men are so immature."
Count on Kasumi to try and put a positive spin on a situation while
condemning it with faint praise. She wasn't nearly as dumb as she
acted. Most of the time.
***
As the three sisters took their shots at patriarch of the Tendou
clan, outside the young man and his apparent pet arrived.
"You sure this is the place?"
Pandas lack the vocal chords necessary to even approach human
speech, so it just grunted and waved a little sign with the words
'Absolutely, I remember it well' scrawled on it.
"Last week you told me you'd never been here."
The sign turned around with no other obvious motion on the part of
the spotted ursine. 'You must be mistaken.'
"Whatever, pops. Let's get this over with already, I'd like to be
back on the road soon."
They walked up to the door and the young man reached out his hand
to knock on it and announce their presence. Just as his knuckles
would have contacted the stained wood, it swung away from him,
leaving him standing like a fool with his hand in mid-air. He
recovered quickly stuffing the offending limb back in his pocket
as he assessed the girl who was about to receive them.
She was older than him by a couple of years, conventionally pretty
if you liked the type, and she seemed to radiate an aura of incredible
niceness. He couldn't think of any other way to describe it.
Kasumi smiled at the young man and the large panda standing on the
front porch. Oh my. So much fur. She hoped he didn't shed. "You
must be the Saotomes. Please do come in."
***
Saotome Ranma sat facing his three possible possible future fiancees.
They were each sort of cute in their own way, though the effect
was ruined the scowl of the youngest, the predatory gaze of the
middle, and the vacuous, but polite, stare of the eldest. All in
all it felt like he was a piece of meat that might be served for
dinner if it hadn't spoiled, not a very nice sensation.
Kasumi was lost in her own train of thought, the young man certainly
seemed polite enough, though a touch sullen. But that was
understandable given the circumstance. Being engaged to him, as
polite as he might be was not in Kasumi's plans. It would be so...
unorderly.
The middle Tendou sister was considering just how much profit might
be made from such a deal. They obviously didn't have cash, but he
looked pretty well built and was moderately handsome to boot.
Pictures could be worth something, as well as setting up dates with
the desperate twits at school.
Akane's thoughts were simple in comparison to either of her elder
siblings. They consisted primarily of the words 'Kill', interspersed
occasionally with 'Boys' and 'Perverts'.
Soun's alternated between despair and ecstasy. No one was quite
sure why. It also didn't seem to phase him that his lifelong best
friend had somehow turned into a panda along the way. Soun didn't
notice much difference anyway, except for the signs.
***
"Oh, definitely Akane. After all, they're the same age."
"And both are interested in the same things."
The two involved parties spoke up in unison. "Absolutely not!"
Soun and Ranma's father looked at each other each other and nodded.
"A match made in the very heavens themselves." The hastily produced
sign read 'Agreed'.
Kasumi patted her sister's arm in a motherly fashion. "Come now
Akane, it'll work out fine I'm sure."
Seeing a chance to get out of it, Nabiki chimed in too, "After all,
you're both martial artists, so you even have something in common."
Again with eerie synchronization. "No way am I getting married to
him/her!"
"Would you stop that?" they faced each other now, noses only a
few inches apart, both red with frustration and embarrassment.
The Tendou waterworks started again. "Oh look Saotome-kun! Our
children are getting along so wonderfully already!" The tears were
accompanied by a dance that was an odd mixture of a jig and an
epileptic convulsion.
A happy "Growf!" accompanied a sign sign that read 'What a happy
day!' and then flipped over to reveal 'Our families are united at
last!'. Then the panda joined in the dance, something that would
have frightened any of the younger generation had they been looking.
Suddenly the two cavorting old men stopped. Soun eyed the panda
speculatively. "Say, Saotome-kun. Your condition isn't genetic
is it?" The panda seemed to break out into a sweat as the children
stopped to consider his condition as well.
Finally Ranma broke the awkward silence that had filled the room.
"Hey old man, you're scaring 'em." The tone was sarcastic, and
was accompanied by the flinging of one of the teacups Kasumi had
so thoughtfully provided, filled with still steaming liquid. The
porcelain missile bounced off the panda's forehead and turned over,
all of the tea pouring down over the fuzzy creature. Not a single
drop spilled anywhere else and the cup itself landed daintily in
Kasumi's hands.
Everyone was so absorbed in the flight of the china vessel, that
no one seemed to notice the panda had disappeared in favor of a
balding, portly man.
***
"So your father," the Tendou patriarch gestured at Genma, "took
you to the cursed springs, because he couldn't read the warnings
in Chinese?"
"That's about it. He fell into the Spring of Drowned Panda, very
tragic story of panda who drowned 1500 years ago." the young
martial artist's voice pitched up during the statement, falling
into a mocking sing-song.
Kasumi was both horrified and intrigued by the concept of changing
forms. It must be terribly hard on the clothes.
Nabiki was far more intrigued than horrified, this represented a
potential for mischief and profit she could barely even begin to
contemplate. "So are there other cursed springs?"
"Yeah, the idiot almost knocked me into the Spring of Drowned Girl"
Ranma rolled his eyes and shuddered at the thought of transforming
into a girl.
The youngest Tendou noticed the reaction and just seethed. After
all, what was wrong with being a girl? All the boys she'd met were
just stupid perverts anyhow.
Kasumi felt she had been left out of the conversation, which was
rather impolite of her guests and family. "So which spring did
you fall into Ranma-kun?"
He stared back at her for a moment, obviously thrown off track,
when his father broke in. "It's so shameful, my son," tears rolled
down his face to rival those of his life-long friend, "fell into
the...." And with that proclamation, he kicked Ranma out through
the conveniently open back door and into the koi pond beyond.
When the boy rose out of the ponder, sputtering and coughing, the
differences were initially hard to notice. He seemed to fill out
his clothes more completely, what had been a slightly baggy silk
shirt now stretched nicely across his shoulders. His hair was a
bit lighter in color, and longer in the back. The corded, wiry
muscles of a fighter were gone as well, replaced by the long, smooth
build of a swimmer or distance runner.
And then he turned around to face them the changes were even more
obvious. As one, all three of the Tendou sisters gasped. He was
absolutely gorgeous. He could easily have been a model, actor, or
idol singer.
Genma was on his knees beside them, making motions of crying to
the heavens. "Why did my son have to fall into Spring of Drowned
Wimp?"
Kasumi was standing nearest to the pleading man. She firmly
smacked her hand against the back of his head, knocking him flat
onto his face. It wasn't very polite, but... he was absolutely,
stunningly, beautiful, and she couldn't bear to hear him talked
about that way.
Another awkward silence fell down upon the Tendou household as they
stared at this sudden god in their presence and he stared back, an
incredibly cute blush slowly creeping up his neck towards his
cheeks. He waded towards the edge of the pond, his movements gone
from efficiently graceful to a slow languid grace.
Nabiki finally broke the silence, elbowing her younger sister
lightly. "Hey Akane, if you still don't want him, I'll take him."
"Not on your life sister of mine. You forced him on me, now he's
all mine."
Kasumi couldn't help herself, "Akane, what have I told you about
sharing?" Her thoughts were so disorderly, but it was a maddeningly
pleasant chaos.
"Sorry about this." The voice was a perfect fit, silken smooth.
"Could I trouble you for some hot water Kasumi?"
She wordlessly brought the second kettle to him, blushing when his
long fingers touched hers as she passed it to him.
Akane's thoughts had straightened from a whirl of anger to a solid
stream of 'Boys'. They weren't so bad after all. She did have
something in common with him, maybe it would work. In fact she
was now desperately hoping it would work. Her mouth refused to
work, which was good, for she was deathly afraid she'd say something
to upset him. The thought of those crystalline blue eyes brimming
with tears was almost too much.
Then the kettle tipped over his head, breaking the spell as his
body rippled and shrank, melding back into his uncursed form.
Nabiki shuddered as she was finally able to rip her eyes away.
"So what spring was that?"
Ranma found the floorboards at his feet infinitely interesting.
"Near as I could gather from the guide, Spring of Drowned Shoujo
Manga Hero. Very tragic story."
Kasumi neatly summed it for them, "Oh my."
***
Author's Notes:
There it is, written in a grand total of about three hours rather
late in the evening. Also probably the first piece of fiction I've
ever written that went more or less exactly as planned rather than
wandering off as my characters got completely out of my control.
SODB should stand on it's own to anyone who has even passing
familiarity with the beginning of the Ranma manga or anime. Also,
in case anyone doesn't know, shoujo manga is "girl's comics" and
tends to have very beautiful characters and artwork, focused on
tragic romances and such. The males are often drawn 'bishonen' or
"beautiful men", and end up looking slightly effeminate as a result
of the style. That's also where the title comes from: Spring Of
Drowned Bishonen. There are a couple of in-jokes from both the
original version of the anime series, and a few other series as
well. Bonus points to anyone who spots them all. ^_^
I expressly give anyone permission to take this and turn it into
a serious (or not-so-serious) full length work. Just let me know
if you do, since I'll be happy to pre-read or even give advice.
The story is based on the characters and concepts in Takahashi
Rumiko's Ranma 1/2 manga and anime, and are used without permission
of any sort.
-DaR