Well, hon, you *asked* for it...and such, here is the MST for SIK,
done ASAP while my mind is MIA. x.x
	And for those of you who are curious, fear not...Turtyl-chan and I
will probably be snapping at each other endlessly. It's an old, running
gag.
	And oh yes, please remember: all of these comments are made in the
spirit of good-natured ribbing and criticism. Please don't overreact and
hunt me down and stalk me or anything because I made fun of you when you
asked for it :P
	>Lina

<----->

[Lina and Naga enter the theatre, and sit down; Naga has a HUGE soda in
her lap; Lina is carting a wheelbarrow full of popcorn behind her.]

Lina> "So what exactly is this nonsense you dragged me here to see?"
Naga> "OOOOOOOOOhohohohohoho, Lina! It's a story about goddesses and 
      men from Oregon, written by a turtle."
Lina> (raises eyebrow) "Are there any explosions?"
Naga> (sweatdrop)

------
                          ** Prelude **

     Patrick Thompson slammed the door to his room, and made his
way to his bed.  He flung himself upon it and let go a long sigh,
looking out the window.  /I thought summer was supposed to be
relaxing?/ he thought, as his mind drifted back to think about

Lina> o_O "I don't know...is it supposed to be relaxing?"
Naga> "TELL US! TEEEEEEELL US! TEEEE*ow*. That stick is sharp, Lina." >.>
Lina> O:)

the past few weeks.

     It was only about three weeks ago that he returned home to
Oregon.  Summer break for him started, and rather than spending

Lina> "Summer break for him started, yes. Strong in the Force, is he!"
Naga> (puts on Ataru mask) "Keiichi...I am your FAAAATHEEEERRRR..."

the summer with friends in Seattle where he was going to school,
he decided to return home.  He figured...it would save on the
phone bills of his parents yelling at him.

     He knew his grades were low...but not that low.  It wasn't
something that he particularly cared about, but...his parents
did, and returning home confirmed that thought.  True, it was
ridiculous to ground someone who left for college some 9 months
prior, but...there he was, in his room in Salem.

Naga> "Damn right it's ridiculous. I mean, how do they expect him to
      get to class if he's grounded?" (puzzled look)
Lina> (brings bunny slipper down on Naga's head. *WHAM*)

     It wasn't a grounding, per se.  But without the use of his
parents cars and their home being approximately five miles from
the closest town, grounding was the most appropriate term to use. 
At least, he had a television.

[Lina and Naga both stare at the screen @_@ and drool a bit, mumbling
together, "Teeeeelevision....glaaaaaaaah..."]

     While he was at college, Patrick decided to find something
to take his mind off things between classes and studying. 
Looking through the club listings, he noticed there was an anime
club.  While he didn't know that much about anime other than old
shows like Voltron and Speed Racer of yesteryear, he decided to
attend a meeting.  He was decidedly hooked on the club after said
meeting, and became a member.

lina> (beams) "Because they showed Slayers there, obviously!"

     Patrick watched more and more over the school year, and
collected some tapes of anime that he had recorded from friends
tapes.  He decided before he left, that he would be more active
in the clubs' activities in the fall.  Well, if he wasn't killed
by his parents beforehand, for the grades he received.

Naga> (motherly tone) "So what did you learn in school today, dear?"
Lina> (as Patrick) "Well, Ma, I learned how to make a sweatdrop appear
      on my head, like *this*!" (sweatbeads)
Naga> (faints)

     As soon as he stepped foot inside his parents home, they
started their yellings.  'How could you let your grades slip like
this?' 'Do you know how much money we spent for that college?'
'We trusted you...and you show us this??'  It didn't stop through
dinner, when he went into his room.

Naga> (in Jerry Lewis tone) "Enough with the yellings and the screamings
      and the hurtings, pretty lady!"
Lina> (plaintive tone) "Does this mean no crunchings and munchings for 
      poor Patty?"

     His bags were still unpacked, just quickly thrown in before
more yellings started in on him.  Patrick couldn't blame his
parents, really.  He understood:  he screwed up.  But still...he

Naga> (New York Jewish tone) "AGAIN with the yellings?"
Lina> (deadpan PSA style) "When will the yellings stop?"

unzipped his bags, and started to put his clothes away.  As he
pulled open his last bag, he took out some video cassettes.  It
was a few copies of tapes he procured of anime, during the last
semester.  

     Upon one tape was his Ah! My Goddess OVA collection that he
managed to get, right before he left for home.  'You borrow it
enough times, I thought you might like a copy, before going home
to the boonies', his friend said.  He smiled wanly at the
thought, as his mind returned to the present.

     With that reverie still in mind, walked over to his VCR and
popped the tape in.  The credits started as he slid onto his bed,
and leaned back into his pillows.  /Belldandy...if she were only
real.../ he mused, as she appeared on the screen, the theme song

Lina> "Dude, get some tissue for that nose before you bleed to death."
Naga> (mock-innocently) "Funny, how the blood makes it so far *up* from
      where it's gatheri..."
Lina> "FIREBALL!" 
Naga> (goes flying from the blast) "Ohohohohohohohhohohohoooooooow."

starting up.  It was then his phone rang, and he pushed pause on
the remote control before reaching over to his nightstand to pick
up the phone.

     "Hello?" he said, his voice slightly deep.

     "Topper Thompson, how would you like to go out to the
hottest party of the summer?"  the voice said.  He raised his

Lina> "Can't rightly say. Let me ask my friend Patrick."
Naga> (facepalm)

eyebrows slightly; not many people in college knew his nickname. 

Lina & Naga> "Oh."

That was mainly because, other than the Anime club, he wasn't
what one could say sociable to others on campus.  But after the
first few words, he realized who it was on the other side of the
line.

Lina> "No wonder his grades are so bad. He can't even say 'sociable'!"

     "Oh, hey Jake.  Hey, I'd love to, but...I'm still grounded."
he said, his tone turning sour.

     The old high school friend of Topper on the other side of
the line started to laugh, which made Topper frown slightly. 
"Aww, poor college boy still grounded by his parentals?" Jake
said, in the baby-thick voice usually reserved for parental abuse
cases like this.  He really hated that voice.

     "Well, they took one look at my grades, and..." he let the
sentence go.

Naga> "...it ran off to be some Laurel and Hardy dialogue?"
Lina> "...it was bought by the Titanic script writers at a garage sale?"

     "Hey, well...I can understand.  My parentals aren't the best
either, so...well, when they _finally_ let you go, gimme a ring,
 k?  Ciao for now, Top-man."  Jake hung up the phone, as did
Topper.

     Topper depressed the play button, and the scene on the

Naga> (whipping on a labcoat) "Tired of your VCR feeling down all the
      time? Afraid you've been depressing your play button a bit too much
      lately?"
Lina> (also in labcoat) "Well, we here at Slayers Labs have developed this
      easy 12-step program called: 'Your VCR and You'...for only 50 gold
      pieces, this easy..."

television came to life once more.  He layed back into his

Naga & Lina> (screaming, still in labcoats) "IT LIVES!"

pillows again, putting his hands behind his head.  /Well/, he
thought, /at least it couldn't get worse.../

Lina> (grinning) "C'mon, Topper...don't you want to order some takeout?"
Naga> "Paralell plot line help service, to which goddess may I direct
      your call?"

     Outside, the clouds that were crossing the June sky started
to darken.  The rumbling of thunder loomed, and as night came, so
did the rains...


                      Stepping into Keiichi
                An Ah! My Goddess FanFiction Story

                        by b. b. brittain


                          * Chapter 1 *

Lina & Naga> (staring at the screen, dumbfounded) "THAT WAS ONLY AN
             INTRODUCTION?!"

     The winds outside his parents home picked up, as the credits
began to flicker for the fifth OAV.  Topper glanced outside his

Urd> (sticking head in frame) "Damn reception always gets weird in
     high wind."
Lina & Naga> (sweatdrop)

window to see a definite downpour of rain.  He sighed softly,
turning his attention back to the television.  /I hope Jake's
having fun, at least/, Topper thought sourly, as Keiichi
scrambled about town on the TV screen, trying to buy his ring for
Belldandy.

     His mind wandered a bit, letting himself get caught within
the moment displayed, when the power went out.  It was a common
occurrence in the area his parents lived in, power going out
during storms such as the one outside his bedroom.  That was one

Lina> "Oh, sure...lights went out, I was alone in the dark, I was thinking
      about Belldandy-sama..."
Naga> (snickers, then WHAPS Lina) "Oohohohohohoho!"

of the major drawbacks living in the 'suburbs' of rural areas. 

Naga> "I'd hate to see the suburb of a *rural* area."
Lina> "Um, yeah, we're keeping up with the Joneses, 28 miles down the 
      road..."

His parents didn't seem to mind that though, seeing it was so
very cheap to live there.

Naga> (shaking head and sighing) "Probably the school system sucks too."
Lina> "Explains why he never learned to say 'sociable'..."

     "Damn it to the seven hells..." he cursed under his breath
as he sat up, and swung his legs to the side of the bed.  As he
stood up, he started for the door, and subsequently hit his knee
on his nightstand.  Another string of curses lined his lips, as
he picked up his phone, which had fallen to the ground.  The
numbers on the receiver still lit up, indicating it still had
power.  He stood as he put the receiver back on its hanger.  

Lina & Naga> "I DON'T GET IT!"

     Moving towards the door, Topper put his phone on his bureau. 
He slowly made his way to the door, pawing his hands in front of
him, shortly finding the doorknob.  He turned it and glanced out
into the hallway.

     The hallway was darkened, and he heard his parents in the
living room, muttering similar curses about the power.  He
sighed, and closed his door quietly.  /Great...what do I do now?/
he thought.

Naga> "I know! Let's play Pretend Our Hand Is..."
Lina> (CLOCKS Naga *WHAM*)

     His mind drifted again, and he thought of the party that
Jake mentioned.  As the gears started to turn in his head, he
pawed his way back to his bed, and sat down.  /Well...I could

Naga> "All this pawing...what was he raised by, cats?"
Lina> (as Mom) "Patrick! Your bowl of milk is ready!"

sneak out...if Jake picked me up.  It's better than sitting in
the damn dark all night.../

Naga> (continuing the thought) "Alone...thinking about Bell-sama..." h.h

     Resolved of the decision, he looked outside again, and
noticed the rain let up a little, though the clouds loomed
overhead.  /The storm might be subsiding.../ he thought, as he

Lina> "No, we just ran out of water." (smacks forehead)
Naga> "It's CALLED restatement!"
Lina> "It's CALLED redundant!"

reached over towards his phone.  He didn't find it where he
usually put it, and started to lean over to paw the rest of the

Lina> "I bet there's catnip involved. I bet there is."
Naga> (holding up a cat-o-nine-tails) "Yoohoo, TOOOOOOPPER! Looking for
      this?"

nightstand.  He blinked in realization as he remembered it was on
the bureau and started to stand, but suddenly he lost his
balance, and started to fall.

     Topper's body pitched forward, and his head smacked the edge
of the bureau.  Gritting his teeth and stifling a yelp he rubbed
his head furiously, trying to make the pain go away.  /Damn it

Naga> "He's rubb*OW*!"
Lina> (holding a bunny slipper) "Don't even go there."

damn it damn it.../ he thought to himself, as his other hand
grappled for the phone.  He pulled the phone down to the floor
where he was, as the pain finally started to subside.  

     When Topper picked up the receiver, lights started to flash
all around him.  At first, the thought of lightening passed

Lina> "Lightening...farfetched. I'd say *lightning* is more plausible, but 
      who am I to say?"
Gourry> (popping head in frame). "You're Lina!"
Naga> (sweatdrop)

through his mind, but as the lights stayed on, he nodded slowly
to himself.  He sighed slightly, and started to set the phone
back down.  /At least it was only a brownout this time.../ he
thought.

     But as he looked around expecting to see his own
room...Topper realized what his eyes told him was anything but. 
Instead of his bureau in front of him, there was a small table. 
A bookcase was to the right of him as he turned his head right
slightly, and as he turned back, he noticed a kitchen set to the
left.  The door outside was to the far left, and straight ahead
was what appeared to be a closet.

Lina> "Naga? I don't think we're in the realm of the coherent anymore."
Naga> "Are you a good plot, or a bad plot?"

     The room itself was swathed in a neutral beige colour,
nothing like the cool blue of his own room.  And he didn't see a
bed in sight, though it felt distinctly like a bedroom. 
Bewildered, he turned around fully to see what was behind him. 
He saw a mirror, but the woman presently appearing through the
mirror was what he was momentarily concentrating on.

Lina> "Pshaw. Women coming through mirrors happens all the time. No reason
       why he'd be paying it any LESS MIND!" >.<
Nali Inverse> (popping head in frame) "Someone say something about
              mirrors?"
Naga & Lina> (SCREAM in terror)

     Topper locked his gaze briefly upon the young woman.  The
eyes were the most marvelous shade of light blue-green he had
ever seen.  Her face was almond shaped, strands of dishwater

Lina> "Ewww. Caked on grase and food gunk."
Naga> "MAKEUP!"

blonde hair cascading down the sides. Beside her eyes were two

Lina & Naga> "Oh."

triangles of azure blue, a slender diamond of the same colour
upon the center of her forehead.  She seemed familiar...

Lina> "Don't you SEE?"
Naga> "It's...it's..."
Lina & Naga> "IRONIC PLOT DEVELOPMENT!" (o/~ Duh-duh-daaaaaaaaaaaah! o/~)

     What really snapped Topper out of the gaze however was the
mirror.  She was coming out of it, and of course, that made no
sense to him whatsoever.  In such fashion, he started to back

Lina> "What does fashion sense have to do with instinct?"
Naga> "A lot. Anyone with any sense of style will instinctively cringe
      from an outfit like *yours*, for example."
Lina> (fireballs Naga into the lower stratosphere)

away.  He stumbled over the table, his mouth and eyes growing
wider as he moved.  He kept moving away at a fast crawl, slowly 

Lina> "Again with the animalism!"
Naga> "At least we can hook him up with Ranma later."
Ranma> (pokes head in shot) "HEY!"

scrambling to his feet.  He looked back as the woman slipped
fully out of the mirror, and his escape would have been
complete...if it were not for the wall.  He hit his head again,
and fell to the ground.

     The two impacts upon his head made losing consciousness much
more easier.  As his senses drifted, he thought he heard the
word, "Cuuut!", yelled by someone but wasn't sure...and all
became dark.

Lina> "Ah. The Mo' Betta Blues style of adjective tense."
Naga> "Heh. It's more easier that way."
Lina> "I ain't said nothing."
Naga> "Exactly."
Lina> (sweatdrop)

                              * * *

     "Mmmrrr...kkkaaa...mmster Katawa...are you all right...?"

Lina> "Well, yeah...but are you okay? You're talking kinda funny."

     Topper slowly regained consciousness, bucking from the
smelling salts placed under his nose.  He kept blinking his eyes,
noticing slowly that over him stood two figures.  As his eyes
finally started to focus, but there was something different. 

Naga> "They were receiving cable now? What?"
Lina> "I think that sentence for sale up above could find a nice
      home here."

Things looked fuzzy at first, but then...they seemed to stay that
way.  It was very hard to describe, but things...just didn't seem
to take a definite shape as they should.  It was almost as
if...it was slightly two-dimensional.

Lina & Naga> "OH MY GOD! THEY'RE ALL REPUBLICAN!"

     Topper continued to blink his eyes, trying to make them see
clearer.  It was like...colour failed to have any more texture
than one or two tones...like...like...

Naga> "...every episode of Gatchaman?"
Lina> "...Naga's brain?"

     "Mister Katawa, are you okay...?" the voice said again, and
he looked towards the voice.  She had no idea who she was, but

Lina> "...but he knew that he suddenly felt very feminine."
Naga> "...but he knew she was a VOICE, thanks to the gripping narrative."
Lina> "Identity crises in fanfiction: do pronouns hurt or help?"
Naga> "Next time on Riki Lake."

she was holding out a cloth to him.  "Here, take this." she said.

     Topper slowly took it, and nodded. "Thanks." he said without
thinking, and placed it on his head.  It took a moment for it to
register, but as it did, his eyes slowly went wide again.  He
looked from the girl to the other person, an older woman, and
asked her, "I'm dreaming!?"

Lina> (nods) "Yes you are...in your dream world, you never have to specify
      the recipient of a directed comment with a definate name."
Naga> (wincing) "That was harsh, Lina."

     The woman sighed, and looked back behind her to some person. 

Naga> "...but necessary. WHICH WOMAN?!"

She called out, "I think he's lost it for today.  We might as
well close down until tomorrow."

[A green light flashes, as the film draws to a close. Naga and Lina get up
to stretch.]

Lina> "Join us next time for the gripping conclusion of our MST!"
Naga> "See you there!"


[*]===-----------------------------------------------------------------===[*]
"Wherever monsters rampage, I'll be there to take them down...wherever
treasure glitters, I'm there to claim it...whenever an opponent rises to
face me, victory shall be mine!" -Lina Inverse, Slayers TV Op.
[*]===-----------------------------------------------------------------===[*]
Todd Harper: lina@wwa.com, lina@maison-otaku.net
University of Wisconsin@Madtown and overall violent yet friendly guy =)
http://www.maison-otaku.net/~lina
The O-Files!: http://www.maison-otaku.net/~lina/ofiles
[*]===-----------------------------------------------------------------===[*]