Insert standered " PLEASE DO KILL ME FOR WRITEING THIS " disclaimer
Ranma x2
Part 1: Here's Ranma ..... and Ranma
By "Psycho Sam" Vilsmeier ( Sam_74@msn.com )
( It is dark moonless night in a small, little known valley of
Jusenkyo. Most of those who come here don't there don't leave as they came.
There is an obscured figure walking to one of the hundreds of springs.)
The Figure: At last, Happosai I will make you change my name
(The figure draws water from the spring and as he looks up, his identity is
revealed. It's Pantyhose Taro.)
* two weeks later in Nemira *
(It's night at the Tendo Dojo. Nodoka Saotome, Ranma's mother, is
paying a visit, and Ranma and Genma have just jumped into the Koi Pond )
Ranma-chan: *nervously* Hello Auntie Saotome.
Genma-panda: [ Hello, some-one-elses-wife. ]
Nodoka: Well, if it's not Ranko and Mr. Panda. Isn't it cold for a
swim?
Ranma-chan: N-n-no, not at all.
Nodoka: * in a motherly tone * Ranko, it's too late for a swim. Get out
of there before you catch cold.
Ranma-chan: Yes, Auntie Saotome.
( From the house the ringing of the phone is heard. )
*From the house * Akane: Hello....... Oh no, not again !
( "Mr. Panda", "Ranko", and Nokoda run into the house. )
Ranma-chan: Akane, what is it ?
Nodoka: Yes Akane-chan what is it ?
Akane: That was the Jusenkyo guide, he said that Pantyhose Taro came to
get Virtuous-man water to use on ....
( Happosai runs in holding a bag of bras. )
Happosai: WHAT A HAUL, WHAT A HAUL !
Akane: ......him and got the twins water again.
Happosai: RANMA !
* Happosai latches onto Ranma-chan *
Nodoka: Ranma? Where?
Ranma-chan: * evilly * Dry up and die old man.
(Ranma-chan kicks Happosai into LEO.)
Nodoka: Young lady, you should not do that. It's not lady-like.
Ranma-chan: HEY!! He lached onto my chest!
Nadoka: Still, it is not lady-like.
Ranma-chan: Yes, Auntie Saotome.
Nodoka: Now what was that about Happosai calling you Ranma ?
Ranma-chan: *GULP* That old lech has very bad vision, he-he-he thinks
I'm Ranma. *thinking* If she finds out about my curse I'm as good as dead.
* Happosai lands and jumps for Ranma-chan. *
Happosai: Ranma-chan, let me rest my tired old head on your bountiful
bosom !
(Nodoka trys to pull Happy off of "Ranko" )
Nodoka: Happosai, leave Ranko-chan alone.
Happosai: Ranko ?
Kasumi: Happosai, there is someone here to see you.
( Pantyhose Taro kicks the door down and pulls out a bottle of water
marked "Spring of Drowned Virtuous-man". He gets a nasty look from Happy, a
confused look from Nodoka, a sweet look from Kasumi, and fearful looks from
everyone else. )
Happosai: If it isn't little Pantyhose.
Pantyhose: DIE LECH!!!!!
Ranma-chan: PANTYHOSE, YOU BASTARD!!! YOU GOT THE WRONG WATER AGAIN
!!!!!!!!!
Pantyhose: SHUT THE FUCK UP, FEM-BOY !!!!
* Pantyhose throws the bottle at Happosai. He gets out of the way, and
it hits and empties on Ranma. *
Ranma-chan: I don't feel so hot ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ( Ranma-chan
starts to glow. Then,
there is a flash, and we see Ranma-kun blown into the kitchen with the
kettle Kasumi was heating emptied over his head. Ranma-chan is blasted into
the pond. Happosai makes a quick exit with a rabid-looking Pantyhose going
after him.. )
Kasumi: Oh my.
Nodoka: ... ( Nodoka stands there in shock. )
Ranma: Ohhhhh my head. ( Ranma sees that he is in boy form and is in
front of his mother. ) Oh, fuck me. ( Ranma passes out )
Ranma-chan: Ohhhhh my head. (Ranma-chan sees Ranma) WHAT THE HELL !?
Nodoka: What's going on here ?
( Genma-Panda enters and sees Nodoka and the 2 Ranmas. )
Genma-panda: [ YIPE! ]
Akane: I'll tell you ...
( One explanation and tearful reunion later )
Akane: But what about the seppuku promise ?
Nodoka: I only agreed with Genma's stupid idea so he wouldn'd slack off
on his parental duties.
Genma (now human), Ranma-chan, and Ranma: _NANI_ ?!
Ranma and Ranma-chan: (Ranma and Ranma both turn to there father with
killer looks in their eyes) Pops, TIME TO DIE!!!!! ( Both Ranmas kick the
crap out of their father. )
Nodoka: STOP IT, YOU TWO !
Ranma and Ranma-chan: Ok, mom. ( They let what's left of their father
fall to the floor. )
Ranma-chan: I'll be back in a sec. I hafta change back into a guy.
Nodoka: O-o-ok Rank... Ranma.
*from the kitchen* Ranma-chan: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( Everyone runs in the room seeing a wet Ranma-chan laying on the floor in a
state of shock. )
Nodoka: Ranma, whats wrong ?
Ranma-chan (Crying): I-I-I-I didn't change back into a guy.
Ranma: * to himself * If she can't change back into a man then....
Ranma dumps a bucket over his head and doesn't change into a girl )
*Yelling* I'M CURED ! ( running all around the room) NEVER GONNA BE A GIRL
AGAIN !!!!!!!! I'mcuredI'mcuredI'mcuredI'mcuredI'mcured !
Ranma-chan: W-w-w-w-why didn't I change back into a boy ? I have to be
a boy !
Nodoka: It'll be all right. ( Nodoka is holding a crying Ranma-chan )
Ranma: I'mcuredI'mcuredI'mcur...*SMACK* (Ranma get a mallet to the
face)
Akane: Baka.
Akane: Auntie, I called Dr. Tofu.
Nodoka: Thank you, Akane. Kasumi-chan, please leave the room.
Kasumi: Yes, Auntie Saotome. ( Kasumi goes to her room so Dr. Tofu will
not see her. )
Dr. Tofu ( At the door ): Hello ?
Akane: Come in, Doctor.
Dr. Tofu: Two Ranmas? What happened here?
Akane: Ranma was splashed with "Spring of Drowned Twins" water and
there are now two of him.
Dr. Tofu: Is there anything else unusual ?
Ranma-chan (crying): I can't change back into a guy.
Ranma: And I'mcuredI'mcuredI'mcure...*SMACK* ( Ranma gets hit by
Akane's mallet. )
Akane: Stop being such a jerk.
Ranma-chan (Crying): Shut up!!! Just shut the fuck up!
Nodoka: Ranma, stop it ! All you're doing is upsetting your sister.
Ranma: Sister ?
Dr Tofu: Yes Ranma. In a way this girl ( points to Ranma-chan ) is your
twin sister.
Ranma: I guess your right, but I'mcuredI'mcuredI'mcur...
Ranma-chan (Crying): STOP IT!! DON'T YOU REMEMBER HOW YOU FELT WHEN WE
FIRST FELL INTO THE NYANNICHUAN?! OR WHEN HERB LOCKED US IN FEMALE FORM?!
Ranma: I'm sorry.
Ranma-chan: I-I-I-I'll be okay.
Nodoka: Ranma, we need to talk.
Ranma and Ranma-chan: About what ?
Akane: This could be a problem.
Ranma and Ranma-chan: What would ? .... STOP REPEATING WHAT I'M SAYING
!
Soun (Crying): RANMA IS NOW UNCURSED, SO HE CAN MARRY AKANE WITHOUT
DELAY !
Ranma: No way am I marrying a uncute tomboy like her.
Akane: RANMA NO BAKA ! *Smash* ( Akane hits Ranma with the
Mallet-o-Doom. ) Now, as I was saying, we need to find a name for her.
Akane points to Ranma-chan. )
Ranma-chan: But I already have a name you uncute tomboy !
Akane: I'll pretend I didn't hear that. We'll need a way to tell both
of the Ranmas apart, though.
Nodoka: She is right, Ranko. That's it! Why don't you just go under
that name.
Ranma-chan (sadly): O-o-okay.
Nodoka: Now Ranko, Doctor Tofu and I are going to fill you in on female
biology.
Ranko: Okay. So... uh... first of all... what's a period?
Nodoka: This could be a problem.
Dr. Tofu: Mrs. Saotome, I think we should give her this ( Dr. Tofu
pulls out a book labeled "So You're a Woman Now: a Girl's Guide to Growing
Up" ) and fill in the gaps.
Nodoka: I hope your right about this Doctor.
Ranko: Errrr.... thanks. ( Ranko starts to read the book but passes out
after the third page )
Kasumi: Oh my.
Nodoka: Ranko-chan, whats wrong ? ( Nadoka props up her daughter )
Ranko (comeing to): I need to find a cure !
Nodoka: Ranko, your a woman now you just have to learn to accept it.
Ranko (sobbing): I am a _MAN_ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Nodoka puts her arms around Ranko)
Nodoka: There there, Ranko-chan. It'll be alright.
Ranko (Sobbing): Easy for you to say.
Nodoka: Ranko, tomarrow is Saturday. So lets do something just you and
I.
Ranko: Really ?
Nodoka: Yes, really.
Ranko: Thanks, mom.
Ranma: (Still groggy from the Akane induced coma.) Hey, what about me ?
Nodoka: Ranma, I think your sister needs me a lot more then you do
right now.
Ranma (Sigh): Okay mom.
Nodoka (Happily): This has been a very good day for me. I have my son
back, and I even got another daughter.
Everyone (Shocked): What do you mean "another"?
Nodoka: I didn't know it at the time, but when Genma left to train when
they left I was pregenant.
Kasumi: Oh my.
Soun (Demon Headed): SAOTOME! NO WONDER YOUR SON HAD SUCH TERRIBLE
MORALS! HE WAS RAISED BY A MAN WHO WOULD LEAVE HIS OWN PREGENANT WIFE ALONE
TO RAISE A CHILD! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ?!
Genma: I..... well..... errrrr.... ahhhhh....
Soun (Demon Headed): WELL ?!
Genma: (Genma Dumps a bucket of cold water over his head) Gruff!
Nadoka: Calm down, Tendo-san.
Akane: Auntie Saotoma, why didn't you tell us before ?
Nodoka: I wanted it to be a surprise.
Ranma (Monotone): It certainly was surprising.....
Ranko: You can say THAT again.
Nodoka: Let's talk more about this in the morning.
Ranko: Good idea.
Ranma: I have something to do first.
--------------------------- Later that
night ---------------------------------------------------
(Ranma opens Akane's door just after she goes to bed) .
Ranma: Akane?
Akane: RANMA!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM!!!! PERVERT!!!!
Ranma: Akane, I just want to tell you something. I should of told you
this earlier, but I just couldn't as a half man.
Akane: WELL SPIT IT OUT, BAKA!!!
Ranma: Akane, I-I-I love you.
Akane (monotone): What?
Ranma (blushing): I......I love you, Akane.
Akane (softly): I..... I love you too, Ranma. (evil grin) But you better
get rid of those other girls!
Ranma: I know... It's just I don't know what to say.
Akane: Try saying "get lost".
Ranma: I can't tell Ucchan to get lost.
Akane: AND JUST WHY NOT RANMA?! DO YOU LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME?!
Ranma: Akane, keep it down or we'll be forced to get married before were
ready! And no I don't love her more... but I do lover her.
Akane: What?! (Akane pulls out the Super-Mallet-O-Doom.)
Ranma: I don't love her in that way!
Akane: What do you mean by that ?!
Ranma: I love her like a sister.
Akane: Oh. (The Super-Mallet-O-Doom go back to it's home in the
Hammerverse.) Sorry for almost malleting you.
Ranma: Well, I better go to bed. See ya later you Kawaii Tomboy.
Akane: Ranma no baka. (A HUGE mallet appers and Akane hits Ranma with
it.)
Ranma: AHHHH...? (Ranma pokes the mallet.) Foam rubber?
Akane: Sucker!
Ranma: (Ranma fake punches Akane.) Akane no baka.
Akane: Good night, Ranma.
Ranma: Good night, Akane...... chan. (Evil Grin) Please tell P-chan that
you love me. (Ranma gives Akane a kiss on the cheek, turns off the light,
and closes the door)
----------------------------- The Next
Morning -------------------------------------------------
(It is a beautiful day as a full overhead shot of the Tendo Dojo comes
into view. Soon enough, however, the peace is shattered by....)
Ranma: WHAT THE HELL ?!
(There is a puzzled Happosai on the chest of a very angry and very wet
Ranma)
Happy: What's going on here ?!
Ranko (Rolling over and waking up): Whats with all the noise? *Seeing
Happosai.* Just my luck....
Happy: SWEETO !!!!!! (Happy jumps for Ranko's chest but gets punched
into orbit by Ranma.)
Ranko: Thanks..... bro.
Ranma: No prob.... sis.
(Akane bursts in holding a bucket of water.)
Akane: RANMA WAKE..... your awake?
Ranma: What does it look like ?
(Nodoka walks in.)
Nodoka: Good morning Akane-chan, Ranko-chan, and Ranma-kun
Ranko & Ranma: Good morning mom.
Akane: Good morning Auntie Saotoma.
Ranma: (Getting dressed) Ranko, are you thinking what I'm thinking....
Ranko: (Also getting dressed) Ohhhh yeah.
Nodoka: What are you two thinking about?
Ranma: This..... (Ranma kicks Ranko out of the window)
Ranko: BAKA !!!!! *SPLASH*
(Ranma jumps out the window and him and Ranko go into a fierce sparing
session.)
Nodoka: RANMA!!! Don't throw your sister out the window!
Ranma: Sorry, mom ....
Ranko: An opening *SMACK* (Ranko get Ranma in the head with a spin kick.)
(Ranma and Ranko have a great time sparring until there father interrupts
and get kicked into the pond for being a nuisance.)
Genma: [Stupid Kids.]
Ranma & Ranko: Shut up, old man!
Ranma: Lets finish this....special moves allowed.
Ranko: Okay. Your move bro.
( Ranma and Ranko circle each other for minute. )
Ranma: MOKO TAKABISHA!!!! (Ranma fires a large ball of yellow ki.)
Ranko: SHISHI HOKODAN!!!! (Ranko fires of a _MASSIVE_ beam of green ki. )
Ranma: WHAT THE... (Ranko's blast overcomes Ranma's. It hits Ranma in the
chest, and throws him through the wall.)
Ranma (on the ground thinking): Man, she is DEPRESSED. Poor guy. (Getting
up out loud.) Good shot.
------------------------- In the
house. -------------------------------------------------------
Nodoka: Ranko, I got you a school dress for you yesterday.
Ranko: A DRESS?! NO WAY AM I PUTTING THAT ON!
Nodoka: Ranko, you absolutly correct.
Ranko & Ranma: Nani?
Nodoka: I'm still seeing you as Ranko Tendo, tomboy, not Ranko Saotome,
my son turned daughter. I don't want to force you to do things that'll make
you uncomfortable.
Ranko: Thanks, mom.
Nodoka: BUT, you have to wear a bra.
Ranko: But mom...
Nodoka: No buts about it, you're wearing a bra.
Ranko: This sucks.
Nodoka: Ranko, just try it.
Ranko: Okay, but it better not be something frilly.
Nodoka: Don't worry. It's not. Here. (Nadoka hands Ranko a plain grey
sports bra.)
Ranko (relieved): This ain't a bad as I thought it would be. I can live
with this.
Kasumi: Breakfast is ready.
Ranma & Ranko: Thanks Kasumi.
------------------------ After
breakfast. ---------------------------------------------------
Nodoka: Ranma, your sister and I are going out and will not be back for
about two hours. I hope you don't mind.
Ranma: It's ok.
Nodoka: Akane-chan, you can come it you want.
Akane: Okay Auntie Saotome.
------------------Outside the Dojo
walls -------------------------------------------------------
Ranko: Where are we going, mom?
Nodoka: Shopping, but first we get your little sister.
Ranko: Shopping?! Aw, shit.
Nodoka: Watch your mouth, Ranko.
Akane: Yeah Ran_KO_.
Ranko: Shut up, you uncute tomboy.
Akane: RANM...RANKO NO BAKA!!!!!! *SMASH* (The Mallet-O-Doom (TM) returns
from hammer space to punish the offending Saotome.)
Nadoka: AKANE! That was uncalled for.
Akane: Sorry.
Ranko *Getting up*: Lets go before Hammer girl gets slam happy again.
Akane: Jerk.
Ranko: Tomboy.
Nodoka: *to herself*: This is going to be a long day. *To the Girls*:
Let's go.
--------------At the Saotoma
Home---------------------------------------------------------------
( The Saotoma home is a beat up twin with a "For Sale" sign in the yard )
Ranko: Whats with the sign?
Nodoka: I bought a new house.
Akane: Where?
Nodoka: Next door to you, and I bought the lot in the back also.
___________________
| New | |
| Saotome | |
| Home | |
|_________| Lot |
| Tendo | |
| Dojo | |
| | |
|_________|_________|
Ranko: How could yu afford all of that?
Nodoka: I got it all for less than 5,000,000 yen ($50,000). Property
values are very low where you live.
Akane *Stairing at Ranko*: I wonder why.
Nameless Neighbor Person: Hello Nodoka-San, I'll get Kinko.
* A girl who looks like a ten year-old Ranko with black hair runs up to
Nodoka. *
Kinko: MAMA! *To Ranko* WOW, you look just like me! Who are they mama?
Nodoka: That's Ranko, and that's Akane. Ranko is you elder sister.
Kinko: BIG SISTER!!!! (Kinko gives Ranko a bone-crushing bear hug.)
Ranko: *CRACK* AHHHH YOU CAN STOP NOW! *CRUNCH* YOUR BREAKEING MY ARMS!
Kinko (letting go): Sorry big sister. I kinda get carried away sometimes.
Ranko: No kidding. Let's get goin'.
----------------------- At the
mall. ---------------------------------------------------------
Ranko: Okay mom, where are we gona go first?
Nodoka: Well, you could use a swim suit...
Ranko: Mom, cold water activated the curse. You swim in cold water. Any
questions?
Nodoka I guess Ranma could use a swim suit.
Ranko: No shit.
Nodoka: RANKO! Such language.
Ranko: What ever.
Nodoka: Ranko, I know that this whole ordeal has been hard on you. But
language can not be tolerated.
Ranko: *Sigh* Ok, mom.
Nodoka: You could use some undergarmets. Boxer shorts and a sports bra
will not do it.
Ranko: Ok, lets....
Kuno: PIG TAILED GIRL, AKANE, MY LOVES!
Ranko (darkly): Kuno, back off and I may just let you live.
Kuno: I can't live without you! ( Kuno glomps Ranko. )
Ranko: OK THATS IT........... KASHUU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!!!!! (Kuno is
punched in to the girl's dressing room.)
From the dressing room: Pervert!!!!!! *Smack* LECHER!!!!!!! *WOMP*
PEEPING TOM!!!! *CRUNCH*
Nodoka: Who was that boy?
Ranko: Just some pervert from school.
--------------------- in a
shop ---------------------------------------------------------------
Nodoka: Ranko lets get you some...
Ranko: Here. ( Ranko hands her mother a package of plain grey panties and
a few sports bras.) Lets pay and go.
Nodoka: Ranko, do you even know your size?
Ranko: Errrrr... no.
( About Forty minutes later.... )
Nodoka: Now that we know you sizes we can buy you a set of panits and
bras.
Ranko (irritated): It took long enough!
Akane: You didn't want the wrong size did you?
Ranko (Very irritated): Well I didn't know that it would take so long.
Akane (Scowling): Lets go.
Ranko (Monotone): You read my mind. (Ranko grabs some underpants that fit
and walks to the clerk.) Come on mom.
Zit faced sixteen year-old clerk: Ma'am, that'll be 4,000 yen.
Nodoka: Here. (Nodoka pays the clerk. The four women leave the shop.)
-------------- In the
mall ---------------------------------------------------------------------
Kinko: Where are we going next, mama?
Nodoka: To get you sister some clothes. ( Nodoka starts off twards a dress
shop.)
Ranko: I don't think so. ( Ranko turns her mother twards a mens clothing
shop.) Thats more my style.
Nodoka: Thats a MEN's shop.
Ranko: Your point is ?
Nodoka: *Sigh* Very well.
( Ten minutes later...)
Ranko (comeing out of the shop with a few new Chineese outfits): Was that
so bad?
Nodoka: No, acutely you look very good in those outfits.
Kinko (Seeing a cute dolly): KAWAII!!!!!!!!!! Buy it for me mama!!!!
Nodoka: *sigh* Okay, Kinko-chan. (Nodoka buys the doll.)
Kinko: I'll name her..... Charlean.
Akane: It's about time we go home. I bet Kasumi almost has lunch ready
Nodoka: I agree, Akane-chan. Lets go.
-------------------------- Back at the Tendo
Dojo------------------------------------------------
Nodoka: Genma, Ranma, were back. I brought our youngest daughter, Kinko.
Ranma (looking at Kinko): Hi runt. I'm your big brother, Ranma.
Kinko: BIG BROTHER!!!!! (Kinko gives Ranma one of her bone crusher hugs.)
*CRUNCH*
Ranma: ACK!!! *Crack* YOUR CRUSHING MY MY RIBS!!!!!!!
Kinko (letting go): Sorry, big brother.
Genma (in human form for once.): Kinko, I'm Genma. Your father.
Kinko: Papa? PAPA!!!!!!!!! (Kinko gives Genma a crushing hug.)
Genma: Your certiainly a strong one. *CRUNCH* NEED AIR! *Squish*
AHHHHHH!!!!!!1
Kinko (letting go): Sorry Papa.
Ranko: There is something about pop...
Ranma ...that you really should know. Akane, do it.
Akane: Okay. (Akane dumps a bucket over Genma's head.)
Genma-Panda: [I was getting to that.]
Kinko: CUTE!!!!!!! ( Kinko hugs Genma again.) IT'S SO COOL!!!! MY PAPA CAN
CHANGER INTO A PANDA!!!!!!!
Genma-Panda: [FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET HER OFF!!!!]
Nodoka: Kinko, let go. Your crushing you father.
Kinko (letting go): Oh, but he is soooooo CUTE like this!
Ranko: Pop?
Ranma: Cute?
Ranma & Ranko: WE DON'T THINK SO!
Genma-Panda: [And just why ain't I cute?]
Ranma: Your old.
Ranko: Your nasty.
Ranma & Ranko: And your a TOTAL asshole!
Genma-Panda: [WELL I NEVER!]
Nodoka: Kasumi-san, may I help you with lunch?
Kasumi: No thank you, Nodoka-san. Lunch is ready.
Ranko: Finally!
----------------- after
lunch ----------------------------------------------------------
Ranko: That was very good, Kasumi.
*CRASH*
Shampoo (Walking through her new door): Nihou Ranma! (not seeing Ranma)
Here Ranma, Shampoo have hot water for husband. (Shampoo dumps a kettle over
Ranko.) Aiyah! WHAT DID VIOLENT-GIRL DO TO HUSBAND ?! (Hefting a Sword)
AKANE,I KILL!
Ranma (Angrly, from behind Shampoo): Shampoo... DON'T YOU DAIR!
Shampoo: Two Ranmas... Aiyah! What happened?
Ranko: Well ya see...
( One explanation later... )
Shampoo: Aiyah! That very sad story.
Ranko: Your tellen' me ?!
Shampoo: Being girl not bad, better than being man.
Ranko: NO WAY! Girls are weak!
Nodoka: RANKO-CHAN! Who told you a lie like that?!
Ranko: Pop did.
Nodoka (darkly): Akane, give me your mallet.
Genma-Panda: [I'm doomed.]
Akane: Here. (Akane hands her hammer to Nodoka.)
Nodoka: Thank you, Akane. (Turning to Genma-Panda.) YOU STUPID, COWARDLY,
SEXEST, BEAST!!!!!! *WOMP* *SMACK* *CRUSH* *WACK*
Akane (Pale) I-I-I think you over did it.
Ranma & Ranko: Good job!
Shampoo: Go for head last, it hurt more.
Ranko: Shampoo, could you please ask your Grandmother if she could find a
way to cure me ?
Shampoo: Okay, Shampoo ask grandmother.
Ranko: Well get going ande come back soon!
Shampoo: Errr, okay.
------------ In the Neko
Hanten --------------------------------------------------------------
Shampoo: Grandmother, I back.
Mousse: SHAMPOO! I LOVE YOU SHAMPOO! *WOMP*
Shampoo: Shampoo have no time for stupid duck-boy!
Cologne: Why are you back so early, Shampoo? And how is Son-in-law?
Shampoo (bigsweating): Well.... errrr....
Cologne: Shampoo, what happaned?
Shampoo: Monster-boy come looking for the lech. He bring water to splash
Happosai with to make good, but it same water.
Cologne (pale): *to herself* For the love of god, don't let there be two
Happys. *out loud* Continue...
Shampoo: Monster-boy dump water on Ranma, not Happosai. Now there two
Ranma's, one all boy and other all girl.
Cologne: And the female Ranma wants a cure, correct?
Shampoo: Yes.
Cologne: I must speak with her. Lets Go.
---------- The Tendo
Dojo ---------------------------------------------------------------------
Cologne: Hello.
Ranko: Is there a cure.
Cologne: No.
Ranko: W-w-what ?!
Cologne: There is no cure for the Spring of Drowned Twins.
Ranko (crying): NO, IT CAN'T BE!
Cologne: Kai-O-Shin earings may be useable as a cure....... but good luck
finding a pair.
Ranko: Great, I'll be back when I find 'em.
Cologne: Ranko, the chances of you getting a pair are next to nothing. And
even then chances are that they will _NOT_ work.
Ranko (Depressed): Damn it.
Cologne: Shampoo, I didn't remember to tell you this but.... (pointing to
Ranko) you must kill her
Everyone: WHAT ?!
Shampoo: SHAMPOO WILL NEVER KILL CLONE-GIRL!
Cologne: Then do you undo the Kiss of Death?
Shampoo: Shampoo does.
Cologne: Very well, you don't have to kill her. Lets go home Shampoo.
Shampoo: Shampoo want to spend time with husband!
Cologne: No, not today.
Shampoo: Darn in.
(Shampoo and Cologne leave.)
---------- on the Roof of a woman's hot-springs dressing
room ---------------------------------
Happosai: So... it was the twins spring that did that to Ranma... THIS
GIVES ME A WONDERFUL IDEA !!!!!!!!!!!! ( Happosai runs off heading west. )
---------- at the tendo
dojo ------------------------------------------------------------------
Kasumi: Hello, Ukyo.
Ukyo: Hi, Kasumi. Is Ran-Chan in ?
Kasumi: Yes, come with me.
( Kasumi and Ukyo walk into the living room. )
Ukyo: Hiya... (Seeing Ranko and Ranma) RAN-CHAN ?
Ranko & Ranma: Hiya, Uc-chan.
Ukyo: What happened here?
Nodoka: Hello, who are you?
Ukyo: I'm Ran-chan's fiancee, and who are you.
Nodoka: I'm "Ran-chan's" mother, and Akane is her fiancee.
Ukyo: Yes, I am! Your husband and my father arranged it.
Nodoka: Tell me what happaned.
Ukyo: You see ... ( skip about ten minutes.) ... and thats how that's how
I got eengaged tto Ran-chan.
Nodoka (Glowing Red): GENMA!!!!!!!!!!!! (Pulling out a Bokken.) GET OVER
HERE!!!!!!
Genma-panda: [I'm doomed.]
Nodoka: Ukyo-chan, lets play a little game, "Kill the Panda".
Ukyo (smerking): I'm game.
Nodoka: Genma, you have ten seconds to run. One, two, TEN!
Genma-Panda: [NOT IN THE FACE!] (Genma starts to run but it's not fast
enough.)
(Nodoka and Ukyo attack Genma and kick his ass.)
Soun: Ranma, your mother seems to be very skilled with the sword.
Akane: She is good, I wouldn't give Kuno three seconds.
Ranma: Three seconds?! Don't talk down about my mother.
Ranko: Yeah!
Akane: You right... two seconds.
( Ukyo and Nodoka let Genma drop.)
Kinko: YUCKEY, papa looks like road kill!
Ukyo: I have wanted to do that for YEARS.
Nodoka: So have I.
Ranma & Ranko: Why?
Nodoka: I'll tell you tomorrow. Lets just have dinner and hane a peace
full night........
--------------- end part
one -----------------------------------------------
Comeing soon: "Indiana P-Chan and the Two Jugs of Doom" or " Ryouga, the
Lost Boy... and Girl?"
Thanks to my pre-readers, and you _the_ reader.
Tell me what ya think. C&C, Grammer help, Flames, and what ever wanted.