The Eternal Lost Lurker wrote:

Okay folks, here's the complete draft of chapter 1. C&C/MST welcome.

        "That's alright," Ami said. "You're not very late. It was a very
sudden summon, anyway."
        "So what's the big emergency?" Makoto asked.
        "Well, Ami had something really weird happen to her today," Rei
began.
        Luna sat attentively, somewhat unsettled. Something seemed amiss
here...
        The black cat noticed the choker gracing Ami's throat, and her eyes
widened. "Artemis," she hissed, "Isn't that...?"
        Artemis looked at what Luna was pointing out, and blinked. "Sure
is," he mused.
        "What's wrong, Luna?" Usagi asked. She glanced at Ami, and noticed
her friend's new accessory. "Oh, kawaii!" she said. "Where'd you get
that, Ami-chan?"
        Ami blushed. "That's a rather interesting story..."
        Luna jumped gracefully onto Ami's shoulder, and prodded at the
choker with her paw. Instantly, she let out a startled yelp, falling
from her perch. "Cold," she muttered.
        "Are you alright, Luna?" Minako asked.
        Luna shook it off, and stood on the table. "Ami-chan," she said,
"Does the word 'kawaru' hold any special meaning for you?"
        Ami blinked. "Yes...that's what my computer has been saying all day,
every time I try to figure out what's going on."
        "What *is* going on?" Minako snapped impatiently. "Nobody's
explaining anything!"
        Ami considered her words carefully. "Well, I was on my way over to
Usagi's house to speak to Luna about some odd power readings, and..."

        "Maybe it's best to show them," Rei said gently.
        Ami nodded, grimacing, and stood. "Mercury Flash!"

	/*A knock is heard from the door way.  "Rei? I've brought some 
snacks for you and your friends!"
	"No grandpa don't come in!" Rei exclaimed.
	"Mercury Flash!" Ami was to into it to stop.  Her clothes 
dissolve and she changes into Cutey Mercury.
	"Ah my heart!" THUMP.  Grandfather Hino having a heart attack 
from watching such a change.
	"He's dead!" Rei shouted, tears flowing down her eyes.  Usagi 
looking at the poor dead old man inquired,
	"Why is there smile on his face?"
**********
	Sorry I couldn't help myself.
					Trom