*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*
(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)
(The future isn't what it used to be....)
"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON TWO)
EPISODE 14: RANKO'S LIFE PT. 2
(A Ranma 1/2 MSTing)
MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7
This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.
Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, television
shows, etc. are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc....
Ranma 1/2 is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and all the
distributors of her work.
"Ranko's Life" is the property of Hitomi Ichinohei and she's welcome to it.
I do not intend to offend her for making fun of her work like this but I
figure no one else ever will. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;)
This fanfic is rated PG-13 for mature content.
LAST TIME ON MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7....
Ataru, Lum, and Akane made their way up the sidewalk,
Akane was calmer now that she was assured of getting home
momentarily. Ataru was by her side and delighted that he was able to
spend a little more time with her. Lum, on the other hand, grew more
concerned over not being able to find the mirror, fully aware of the
dangers of messing around with time-travel.
"Are you sure your mom won't mind me staying for dinner?"
Akane asked, feeling guilty for imposing.
"It's okay. She's used to unexpected guests." Ataru replied,
already picturing his mother wailing about giving birth to such a idiot.
He sighed and Akane seemed to sense his mood change, giving him a
small smile.
Ataru opened the door. "I'm home!" he called out. To his
surprise, there was no answer but Ataru noticed a cloud of smoke
emerging from the kitchen. The smell of burnt vegetables reached his
nose as he ran inside and quickly turned off the oven.
The girls coughed as Ataru opened the windows trying to air
out the kitchen. Fortunately the Moroboshi's were too cheap to install
fire alarms so there was no ear-piercing screech to assault their senses.
After Ataru threw out the burnt dinner, he went into the living room,
where his father was still reading the paper, ignoring the smoke.
"Hey, Dad! Where's Mom?" he asked.
After a long moment, Mr. Moroboshi looked up from his
paper. "Did you say something, son?"
"Never mind." Ataru sighed as he returned his attention to the
girls. "Let's go up to my room." Everyone else nodded and followed him
upstairs. Mr. Moroboshi briefly returned his attention to the paper but then
looked up once more, sensing something was amiss.
"Honey? Are you smoking? Honey?"
DAMN! WRONG RECAP AGAIN....SORRY, BLAME MY LOUSY
SERVER....LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN....
Dr. Frank suddenly leaped to his feet, spilling the hot cider in his
lap. "THAT'S IT!!!" Dr. Frank bellowed with excitement and pain. "I'll
give them a holographic generator to create whatever scenario they please
and in doing so, they'll leave the earth alone and perhaps be more open to
the fanfics I send them! Forrester, you're a genius!"
Forrester bigsweated. "Uh....Dr. F....I don't want to criticize you or
anything, but are you sure that's a good idea? How are you going to reform
them if they can create any twisted scenario they want?"
"Well, I'll program certain restrictions, of course, but for the most
part, it should condition them to only use violence in the holographic
environment and behave more normally outside. Besides...." Dr. Frank
added. "I don't think the Earth is up to being scribbled on again, do you?"
Forrester had to concede to that point. "Okay, when should we get
started?
"Right after we visit the emergency ward in sickbay. I fear my
hot cider has given me 3rd degree burns in a very tender area...."
AND NOW THE CONCLUSION....
* * *
SATELLITE OF HATE
"You're sending us a WHAT?"
Joel Robinson directed the question towards the viewscreen
where Dr. Frank and T.V's Forrester were standing. "A *holocabaret*,
Joel. It'll allow you to create almost any environment you want for your
personal comfort and enjoyment."
"Pull the other one." Crow muttered.
"I assure you, Crow, I'm quite serious. I'm putting the final
touches on it now and another droid should have it installed in the
satellite and ready for you to give a test run as soon as you finish viewing
the remainder of today's experiment...."
Joel and the bots groaned. "Come on boys, let's have none of
that now." Dr. Frank admonished. "I'm doing this for your own good.
Besides, after the holocabaret is installed, you'll thank me for it. Enjoy
the rest of Ranko's Life and above all, be well!"
Tom turned towards Joel as Dr. Frank's image winked off the
viewscreen. "I've got a bad feeling about this, Joel...."
Joel shrugged. "Hey, anything to relieve the boredom of playing
cards and Monopoly over and over, is okay by me."
Crow snorted. "An hour ago, you and Tom were playing *What's
My Line?* and *Pictionary* with the Satellite's lasers, Joel...."
"Yeah...." Joel replied wistfully. "I just wish I could have finished
my shrine to Satosan....and Acid Junkie....and Shade....and Eros Comics....and
Suddenly alarms and sirens rang out.
"OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!" Crow cried out.
"But I wasn't finished!" Joel whined.
(Door 6: It's made of flowers. You smell them, make love, vow to somehow
stop war, then move on.)
(Door 5: It's a mirror. You play the mirror game with your image until
Harpo and Groucho Marx threaten you with a lawsuit.
(Door 4: It falls away from you, missing your foot completely.)
(Door 3: It's made of Scissors. You hurl rocks at it until you clear a path
through.)
(Door 2. It's guarded by the Black Knight. Fortunately his arms and legs
were cut off so he gives you little trouble as you walk by.)
(Door 1: It's permanently open due to rust.)
(Door .7: The camera pans upward where a small hatch falls to the floor.)
Joel walks into the theater with Tom in his arms, Crow
following close behind. Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom
from entering the theater on his own, Joel waited for Crow to pass by him
and then he placed Tom down on one of the theater seats and sat next to
him. Crow sitting on Joel's left.
Tom: Well, before we begin, let's do a quick recap of the fanfic. Kaneda's
a troublemaker, Ranko's demure, They're engaged to be married. Any
questions?
Joel: Not to mention Nodoka's a zombie, Soun has fading dreams of glory,
Genma is dead, Nabiki's OCC and Jeff Rutsch's Kasumi dwells silently in
her domain....
Crow: And Dr. Tofu has yet to show up in his first major role since he fell
down an open sewer and died....
Ranko had politely tried to tell him that he was trying to lift
too much at once, and had asked him if it wouldn't be better if they made
three or four trips instead like she and her mother had, as if he wasn't able
to handle something correctly and always ready to defer to him in any way.
Joel: Sayyyyy....
Crow: Don't even think about it, Joel....
Joel: Too late....heh heh heh....
Kaneda would have preferred her arguing with him over carrying so
many cases at once to her demure acquiescence to his will. If Ranko was
going to be like this for the rest of their lives, it would be a living
hell for him.
Tom: It's already a living hell for us, pal....
Crow: There's a word for hell and it's REDUNDANCY....
Joel: Funny, I thought it was menopause....
Crow: Joel....
He had to try and give her some backbone at least.
Crow: Now we're talking!
Tom: What's he going to do? Hire Yugo from Gunnm?
He paused as he entered the house and shuddered, *What the HELL am I
thinking?!? There's no _way_ I'm gonna marry this girl.
Joel: (imitating Kaneda) Keep her as a sex slave, maybe....
Crow: Joel....
Anyone who gives into something that easy will not be suited for traveling
around for a few years.*
Tom: Why not? Wouldn't that make her agreeable to anything?
Ranko looked at Kaneda once more after she had shaken the umbrella
outside and blushed again.
Joel: Man, and I thought Lunari blushed a lot....
Whatever else could be said about Kaneda,
Crow: Anything but the fact that he's a troublemaker!
he was handsome enough to make her feel nervous around him, not
that it was hard given that this man was going to be her husband.
Tom: READ....OUR....LIPS....WE....KNOW....RANKO....IS....DEMURE....
NOW....EXPAND....HER....CHARACTER....ALREADY....
Joel: Seen it. Read it. Taped it. Sick of it....
Crow: You know guys, I'm starting to miss Ranma and Akane already....
As she took off her shoes, she quietly said, "Kaneda-kun, please let me
help you with that. I...I don't want you to be hurt because I packed too
many bags."
Joel: Feh! Ryouga could carry those bags with one hand....
Crow: Well, he's not in this story, so too bad.
Kaneda, who was already walking down the hall to the stairway, was
startled enough so that he tripped.
All: Facefault!
While most of the luggage fell forward, one particularly heavy bag fell
on his head stunning him for about a minute.
Tom: Good. Now he knows how *we* feel about Ranko's demure nature
being pointed out to us, over and over....
Crow: How symbolic....
When he finally regained his senses, he realized three things:
Crow: He who would get past me, must realize first these questions
three, ere the other side he see....
Joel: (imitating Kaneda) Hmmm....Ranko's demure....I'm a
troublemaker....and I need Extra Strength Tylenol, ASAP!
One: Ranko was above him gently wiping his brow and gently
saying his name.
Tom: But Kaneda was still dazed, as she was actually saying *Canada*....
Two: His head was in Ranko's lap.
Joel: All right! Third base!
Crow: Joel....
Three: Having her here was going to be trouble. For him.
Tom: Must....get her....to....bedroom....Must....write Tekwar....spinoffs....Must
adjust....toupee....
Crow: Get out of Shatner mode, Tom....
Getting out of her lap, he shook his head to clear it and said,
Joel: (imitating Kaneda) Your place or mine?
Crow: Joel!
"OK, tell you what. How about we start taking your bags up to your room,
and then I'll show you around the place." Ranko smiled sweetly, and
literally bounced up to answer, "That would be so nice Kaneda-kun!"
Crow: Woah! She got perky all of a sudden!
Joel: Wow! Putting Kaneda's head in her lap really helped her overcome her
shyness....
Kaneda kept a smile frozen to his face at this.
Tom: (imitating Hitomi) CUT! CUT! CUT! You're supposed to be demure,
Ranko! DEMURE!!!
Crow: (imitating Ranko) Oops! I'm sorry! (blushes deeply)
Tom: (imitating Hitomi) It's okay, let's just move on. I'll add another
couple of descriptions of how demure and shy Ranko is, later in the fanfic....
*Sugary sweet, polite, doesn't argue, cute, and extremely feminine. This
girl is definitely going to be trouble.*
Crow: (imitating Kaneda) Here, take this mallet and hit me with it! Just
slam it over my head! Please! I need to feel pain! And burn some food
while you're at it! I want to be tossing my socks by bedtime!
Joel: You know, this reminds me of Ranma's situation in "A Second Chance"
by Webdragon....
Tom: Yeah, but in that one, Ranma thought he wanted the demure Akane.
Kaneda's the opposite. Still, I wonder if he'll stumble upon a wishing well....
***
Joel: ....Or a trio of shooting stars.
Tom: (imitating Bill Murray singing) Star Wars....Nothing but Star Wars....
"I noticed Ranko is very shy Aunt Saotome." Kasumi said as she
poured the tea.
Joel: Always keeping on top of things, eh Kasumi?
Nodoka smiled at Soun's oldest child,
Tom: You know, guys, all these fics that Dr. Frank sends us always
seem to be full of happy smiles.
Joel: Think he's trying to tell us something?
Crow: Don't worry, be happy?
Tom: Have a nice day?
Crow: Smile and the world smiles with you?
Joel: Ugh....
"I think it has a lot to do with your brother, especially since she hasn't
been around boys very much." Nabiki raised an eyebrow, "How
inexperienced is she with boys?"
Joel: (imitating Nodoka) She's a virgin.
Crow: Joel....
Joel: What, you think she isn't?
Tom: (imitating Nabiki) Not a problem. I'll bring her up to speed on
the latest *marital* arts techniques....
Crow: Tom....
Nodoka frowned a little, "Well, she doesn't know any except in
passing at the stores.
Tom: Well, now we finally know *Where The Boys Are*....
Is there some sort of problem that I should know about?"
Crow: Other than her potential foot odor problem?
Joel: (imitating Soun) Gee, where do I begin? The hordes of horny
boys at Furinkan? The poetry spouting Kendoist? The arrogant
kiss-hungry figure skater? The obsessed creepy practitioner of voodoo?
The vengeful rivals who take hostages? The occasional prince from a far
away land searching for a bride....
Tom: Not to mention the fact that Kaneda isn't even skilled enough to beat
Soun....
Nabiki shook her head, "Not really. It's just that she's a very beautiful
young lady,
Joel: (imitating Nabiki) Rrrrrrowl.....
and if she's going to be attending school at Furinkan like you and father
plan, then I'm wondering how much I'm going to have to protect her.
She's never been to a mixed school before has she?"
Tom: No, but she HAS been to a mixer....
Crow: Tom....
Ranko's mother responded in the negative.
Crow: And she accomplished this activity by vocalizing an utterance utilizing
the larynx apparatus located in her tracheal area.
Joel: The middle finger would've been a lot easier....
"I've been sending her to a private academy so that she would be able to
maximize her learning. She's spent more time studying than socializing."
Kasumi looked up at her new aunt, "Didn't she have any friends?"
Nodoka's smile seemed to widen slightly as she said, "Quite a few.
She makes friends easily, just not with boys.
Crow: DON'T say it, Joel....
Joel: I was just going to say Ranko seems to be uncomfortable around boys
because of her isolation from them and perhaps her exposure to Kaneda
will be beneficial in easing her discomfort....
Crow: oh.
When she was six, Ranko found out she was going to marry Kaneda-kun,
and avoided almost every boy that came her way since."
Tom: Everyone except Oscar that is....
Joel: Does he count as a boy?
No one noticed, but Nodoka winced internally as she made that
statement.
Tom: Of course no one noticed! It was internal! To the best of my knowledge,
none of the Tendos is a telepath!
Joel: (imitating Nodoka) I should have known something was wrong with
Oscar the minute I saw him stroking our cat a little *too* lovingly....
Crow: Ick, Joel!
While it wasn't exactly untrue since her daughter had tended
to avoid boys at every instance, Kaneda was not the reason for it.
It had more to do with the honour the young girl had, and since she
became a teenager, her sexual preference.
Tom: So, she *IS* a lesbian!
Joel: It's starting to look that way....
Crow: No arguments here....
Nodoka was hoping that it was because her daughter had avoided almost
every man that even seemed to enter her life rather than something that
was truly a part of her. She did not want to see Ranko hurt, but Nodoka
knew ties of honour were far above personal happiness.
Crow: Whew! Good thing Ranko doesn't have to worry about ties of
*HONOR*.
Tom: The ties that bind, however, were a source of great pleasure for
Ranko....
Joel: I'll field this one, Crow. *ahem* Tom....
Soun smiled, and a few tears came to his eyes.
Tom: (imitating Soun) My throat....It hurts so much....
"To be so dedicated to an ideal from such a young age. You must be
proud to have such an honourable daughter."
Crow: (imitating Soun) Not like my ungrateful, worthless son who's
incidentally, a troublemaker....
There was genuine pleasure in Nodoka's voice as she replied in the
affirmative.
Crow: (imitating Newt) Affirmative....
Joel: Whatever happened to just saying "Yes?"
***
All: (singing) Star Baby! Flashy little shiny little lovin machine....
Kaneda had shown Ranko around the entire house, and he was quickly
getting sick and tired of her quiet, demure, and absolutely dedicated
attitude towards him.
Crow: AND WE'RE SICK AND TIRED OF BEING REMINDED OF IT!!!
Joel: What is this? Torture by repetition?
It was nerve wracking to have a woman that was so dedicated to him
and to marriage.
Tom: (imitating Kaneda) Aw, nuts! Why can't I have a selfish, lazy wife
like Peg Bundy?!?
Joel: For god's sake Kaneda, just accept her as she is!
He got the feeling that she had been taught that her entire life revolved
around her marriage to him. Ridiculous!
Tom: Poppycock!
Crow: Horsebuns!
Joel: Fiddlesticks!
Leading her out into the yard now that the rain was over, he motioned
to the Dojo. "Well, I suppose you better learn what I spend most of
my time doing."
Tom: Collecting stamps?
Crow: Playing Command and Conquer?
Joel: Writing fanfiction?
Ranko's eyes suddenly gleamed, and her voice took on just the
slightest bit of excitement, as she grabbed his arm suddenly.
Joel: (imitating Ranko) I just had a orgasm!
Crow: JOEL!!!
"What a lovely dojo! Let's go take a look at it. You do know how to do
the Art don't you?"
Tom: (imitating Ranko) Just give me some crayons and watch me work!
Joel: (imitating Kaneda) Oh, YESSSS! Let's do it! I'll get the charcoal
and paper, You strip naked and pose for me on the dojo floor!
Crow: ....
Tom: Just ignore him, Crow. Maybe he'll go away.
Kaneda, for his part, was stunned.
Crow: Yep, he was stone cold....
Joel: Ranko 3:16 says she just whipped your ass!
Up until this point, she had been the perfect Japanese woman; a quiet,
monotone voice without much emotion,
Tom: Just like HAL.
Joel: Or Kevin Costner....
Crow: Or Dr. Remulac....
not touching him unless he was injured in some way, always
keeping a proper attitude and letting him virtually dictate her every
move. To have her suddenly touching him, and pulling him towards
the dojo was unexpected!
Crow: "Unexpected?!" Is that all the narrator can think of to say?!
Joel: How about exciting? How about appealing? How about arousing?
How about....
Crow: Okay, Joel! They get the idea....
"Well...uh...I...I've been practicing the Art since I could stand. Why?"
Tom: Good question. What do you, the readers at home, think?
Crow: She just couldn't stand idly by, I guess....
Ranko then noticed what she was doing, blushed, and looked back to
the house quickly. Not noticing anyone, she leaned in close, cupped a
hand to his ear and whispered,
Joel: (imitating Ranko whispering) I'm really a guy, you know....
Crow: (imitating Ranko whispering) As soon as this fic's over, I'm gonna
tear you limb from limb....
Tom: (imitating Ranko whispering) Sweet nothings....Sweet nothings....
Sweet nothings....
"I want to spar against you, but I don't want mother noticing. Except
for some training with a sword, she doesn't think it's proper for a woman
to practice the Art."
Joel: But strangely enough, she had no problem with Ranko pursuing a
career as a pizza chef....
Crow: (imitating Lo Wang) I like sword! That's a personal weapon!
Kaneda coughed suddenly as he led her automatically into the dojo.
Tom: Uh oh! Looks like Soun's bronchitis is spreading....
*She likes the Arts? Well, she's probably like all the other girls who
practice it, not really dedicated to what it actually takes.*
Crow: She likes the Arts but she refuses to give the Crafts a try....
Joel: What about the Entertainment?
As he let her hand go, Ranko took off her slippers and bowed
before entering. She quickly read the motto on the wall,
Tom: "You stab 'em, we slab 'em."
Crow: "Always do the right thing, stop the people who don't." - Jackie Chan
Joel: "Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens." - David Bernes.
smiled
Crow: If one more person smiles, I swear I'm gonna scream.
Tom: At least it's not as excessive as "Transitions"....
and then paced the outside rim of the practice area, her eyes taking
careful note of the floor.
Tom: (imitating Ranko) All right, Sasuke! I know you're under there
eavesdropping! Come on out!
Crow: Maybe she hears the beating of Akane's hideous heart?
Joel: Either that or Chris Elliot's still lurking under there....
After she went around it, Ranko went towards one side and then motioned
for him to stand opposite her.
All: (singing) Just as long....as you stand....stand by me....stand by me....
"Come on Kaneda-kun. Let's have a small practice match." Kaneda
suddenly had a coughing fit
Joel: Woah, if Kaneda's this bad now, imagine how sick Soun must be....
Tom: This flu spreads faster than the Ebola virus....
Crow: It's an outbreak! Somebody get Dustin Hoffman on the phone!
at the sight of a cute girl standing there in a very pretty dress acting like
it was normal for her to challenge a man. The way she stood there, it
was obvious that she wasn't actually trained in the Arts, at least not
properly, and that she would probably get hurt if they did anything too
strenuous.
Tom: Reminds me of the Spice Girls....
"Ahh...I really shouldn't fight you when you're wearing such a nice dress.
Joel: (imitating Kaneda) How about a bikini! A thong maybe? What about....
(Silently, Crow pushes a button on his chair. A moment later, a jumbo
steel freezer falls from the ceiling to land on Joel, crushing him to a fine
paste.)
Tom: (shocked) W....What have you done!?!
(Crow smiles as he remarks.)
Crow: Why....I chilled him. Heh heh heh heh heh.....
Joel: Crow? You awake?
(Crow suddenly wakes up from his daydream, startled.)
Crow: Uh, yeah....sorry.
Besides, a man shouldn't fight a woman unless his life is in danger."
Tom: (imitating Kaneda) But since I'm so great and you're just a woman,
you can't possibly be a danger to me....
Joel: Hmmm....think Margaret Atwood helped out with this fic?
Ranko pouted, "Please? Just a short practice match? I promise I
won't hurt you."
Tom: ....much.
Kaneda almost choked on his laughter. Ranko? Hurting him? She
wasn't even in a proper stance!
Joel: And he would know. For he is Kaneda: Lord of the Stance.
"OK, one quick practice match. What style do you study?"
Ranko flushed,
Joel: The Saotome school of Anything Goes Toilet Flushing?
Tom: (imitating Ranko) Oh god, how can I tell him I studied sex-craft
and ever face him again?
Crow: Tom....
"Um...any I guess. I sort of read all of it in books."
Joel: Hey! She must have seen "Meals on Wheels"....
Crow: (imitating Ranko) My favorite was "The Tao of Jeet Kune Do" by
Bruce Lee. Have you ever heard of him?
Tom: Martial Arts Self-Help books?
Crow: Funny I always missed that section of B. Dalton.
Kaneda was now having a very hard time holding in his laughter,
and forcibly cleared his face.
Joel: (imitating Mel Gibson) Been there. Done that.
Tom: Kaneda got rid of his eyes, nose, and mouth?
Crow: That acne medication really did the trick....
Tom: Now he can star as The Blank in "Dick Tracy: The Musical"!
"Right. Let's see what you can do. You may attack first."
Tom: Geez, this guy could give Kunou and Mikado lessons on humility....
Joel: (imitating Ranko) Why thank you....DIE, MALE SCUM!!! DIE!!!
At that statement, Ranko grinned and came at him quickly, striking
out with a simple punch. As he dodged, he noted that although it was
quick, it was significantly under-powered.
Tom: (imitating Tim Allen) We need more power! Arf! Arf! Arf!
He frowned, however, noting that the style was similar to his own, but
with an unusual variation to it. If she picked up that from only reading a
book, then it was possible that she actually had the potential to become a
good martial artist.
Crow: Potentially speaking....
Frowning a bit, and concentrating more, he decided to try to push
her as close to her limits as possible, forgoing the immediate win he had
been thinking of. IF she had potential, then perhaps he could use that to
give her a little bit of a backbone.
Joel: (imitating Kaneda) Then she can be the ill-tempered, violent bitch I've
always wanted!
Crow: Joel....
Joel: You have to admit, it's a little strange, Crow....
Besides, she did say she wanted to practice. He struck back with a
combination quarter speed punches which she managed to avoid.
Joel: Well, of course they're easy to avoid if they're thrown at 1/4 the
speed....
Tom: (imitating Kaneda) Here's a quarter speed punch....go call someone
who cares!
Crow: I'd buy four of those for a dollar!
He was struck by how Ranko's movements were both graceful and unusual.
Tom: A combination of O-bon Dance and the Funky Chicken!
Ranko was actually enjoying herself. This was the first time
since her father had died that she had actually practiced hand to hand
combat against someone else instead of just shadow practicing when she
thought no one was watching her.
Joel: (ominously) But the Shadow always knows....
It was fun to have an opponent to try out what she had let herself
learn by reading books over the years. She tried a quick side kick
which missed, and then tried to punch him in the stomach.
Crow: Hmm.....Michelle Yeoh, she's not.
Joel: Unless you count her role in "Tomorrow Never Dies"....
*She's great!* Kaneda thought to himself as he fought back, not
really putting his whole effort into it and guiding her into various
actions and reactions.
Tom: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction....
Crow: Case in point: Akane calls Ranma a pervert, Ranma responds
with tomboy. Akane calls Ranma a Jerk, Ranma responds with uncute,
Akane smashes Ranma over the head with her mallet....
Joel: ....Ranma bites the dust.
Her moves were all basic, stuff he learned when he was a child, but with
a few variations that didn't look a thing like martial arts. It almost looked
like she was dancing rather than fighting.
Joel: Ranko Saotome: Proud Graduate of the Arthur Murray School of Martial Arts.
Tom: Hold on a sec. Martial arts is an *art*, therefore experimentation
and improvisation upon basic principles of movement would be considered
part of the artistic expression.
Crow: So?
Tom: So, even if Ranko were doing the Electric Slide while sparring, it
would still be martial arts!
Joel: Hmm, I wonder what Slam Dancing Martial Arts would look like....
Crow: Ouch....
That's when she came in with a quick kick, which he leapt above.
Tom: Cause he's above that sort of thing. Thank you!
Joel: Fortunately, Quick Kick brought the rest of the G.I. Joes for backup....
Unfortunately, that wasn't the completion of the move since she continued
spinning and managed to kick him in his chest with her other foot. While
it didn't have any power to it, or at least not power to him, the move was
totally outside anything in the Art as far as he knew.
Tom: I believe that would be Su Bok Dow, actually. Korean Martial Arts
utilizing the feet instead of hands.
Crow: How the heck do *you* know that? You don't even *have* feet!
Tom: I....read it in a book?
Joel: (imitating Kaneda) Hey, if it broke through *my* defenses, it has to
be good!
He was gratified for some reason,
Joel: He was into S&M.
Crow: Joel....
and let the battle continue for another twenty minutes before he ended it
by catching her arm and gently taking her to the floor.
Joel: All right, Kaneda! Way to wear her down!
Crow: Joel....
As he lifted her up, he asked, "What was that kick that you used earlier?
The one with which you managed to hit me with?"
Ranko had the grace to blush.
Crow: (Imitating Dot Warner) Teehee, curtsey blush.
Tom: (imitating Ranko) Oh, you mean my medium level, sonic genocide,
flashing thunder, hurricane smash, swirling storm, triple thrust, quadruple
speed, baby kick?
"Um...Actually that wasn't martial arts...It was...Well...I sort of took that
>from a combination of gymnastics and figure skating."
Joel: (imitating Ranko): I learned it from my friend, Shiratori Kodachi!
Remembering what his father told him about variations earlier that
morning, he started to laugh openly until he noticed the disappointed
expression on Ranko's face.
Crow: (imitating Ranko) You disappoint me, Kaneda-san.
Tom: (imitating Kaneda) Get used to disappointment.
Crow: (imitating Ranko) Kay....
"Sorry. I wasn't laughing at you, but myself. The great and wonderful
Tendo Kaneda hit with a skating move!"
Joel: Too bad she wasn't wearing her ice skates at the time....
Ranko started to giggle at that. "Well, before he died, father
was trying to teach me about the Art, and I remember quite a bit of it.
Crow: Ten years ago her father tried to teach it to her, and she
remembers it? She was six!
I really enjoy doing it, but mother doesn't like me doing it since it isn't
'lady like.'
Tom: Gymnastic Combat Figure Skating is unladylike?
Joel: Well, she has to spread her legs to do it....
Crow: Joel....
Joel: 'Course, who doesn't?
Crow: JOEL!
Tom: Woo hoo! Two points!
I really wish I knew more, but I didn't want to disobey mother."
Tom: (imitating Ranko) In fact, I think I hear her now....What, mother?
You want some hot tea? No? Oh, you want a rusty axe? OH....You want
me to use a rusty axe....to kill the family?!? But, mother, I just met....oh,
all right! I'll do it if you quit nagging me! Geez....
Joel: (imitating Kasumi) Hey, I already called dibs in that department!
*shing* *shing*
Crow: Cute guys....real cute.
Kaneda's eyes narrowed a bit, "You really mean that, don't you?"
Ranko's eyes flamed a bit, but it didn't show in her voice. "Of
course I do."
Tom: (imitating Torgo) ThE MotHEr WoULd NoT APprOvE oF DiSOBEdiENcE....
Kaneda shook his head at how very behaved and controlled Ranko
was, "I didn't mean anything by that. What I meant to say is that since
you are supposed to be...staying here, it would be better if you learn the
Art.
Tom: (imitating Kaneda) It gets rough around here when that Kunou guy
shows up, and then there's that wacky Chinese chick with the purple
hair....
Joel: (imitating Ranko) I may not know much about art....but I do know
what I like!
Crow: And what would that be, Joel?
Joel: Uh....er....acting demure?
I'll start teaching you and if anyone says anything against it, I'll
tell them it is only proper that you learn. We'll do some more later."
Tom: (imitating Wilfred Brimley) It's the right thing to do.
Ranko's eyes lit up at that,
Joel: (imitating Ranko) My eyes! AHHHHH!!!!
"Really?" At his nod, she leapt up slightly, a large smile on her face
Crow: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
and impulsively kissed his cheek.
Tom: Which one?
Crow: Tom....
Tom: I meant the left or right side, Crow!
Crow: oh....
Tom: ....of his butt.
Crow: Hey!
While he remained in shock at that, she said, "Thank you Kaneda-kun!
I'm going to go inside now and change!"
Tom: Literally or figuratively? This is Ranko we're talking about....
Joel: (Imitating Ranko) Join me, won't you handsome?
Crow: Joel....
Kaneda stayed like that for about a minute after she left before he put his hand
to his face and slowly sank to his knees, now completely baffled at the young
lady he was supposed to marry.
All: (singing) What have I....What have I....What have I done to deserve this....
***
Tom: (singing) Bravestar!
Joel: (singing) Bravestar!
Tom: (singing) Strength of the Bear!
Joel: (singing) Speed of the Panther!
Crow: Sarah Jane would REALLY come in handy about now....
Ranko was skipping happily as she got inside the house. She was
finally going to be able to learn the Martial Arts, and from the boy who
was going to be her husband! When she had learned that Tendo-san had
daughters as well, she had been a little apprehensive over a few things
concerning her past,
Joel: "How long?" she wondered to herself. "How much longer until Oscar
finally tracked her down...."
but was quickly getting over her fear. So far Kaneda seemed nice. A bit
surly, but nice all the same.
Tom: (imitating Kaneda) Surly, you jest?
Crow: (imitating Ranko) Nope. And don't call me Surly....
While Ranko doubted that she could ever really fall in love with
him sexually,
Joel: D'oh!
Crow: How *does* someone fall in love sexually anyway?
Tom: (singing) Sexual healing....
she was convinced that it was now possible to fall in love
with him in the future.
Joel: Hopefully the not-too-distant future....
He was exactly the type of man that her girlfriends at school used to
giggle and gossip about as the perfect boyfriend.
Crow: Nothing but sex and shopping!
A very handsome face, strong body, a firm, but soft touch, and very nice
personality. If Kaneda had been female, Ranko knew she would
have fallen in love instantly.
Joel: Maybe this Ranko is a descendant of the one from "The Legend of Ranko"?
Tom: Yeah, when's Megane going to finish that series, anyway?
Crow: Oh, I'd say sometime after the Chicken Ball Awards....
Tom: Great....
True, he was a bit angry at first, probably because of something
between him and his father, but it didn't appear to be his normal
attitude.
Joel: Wow, Ranko's really in touch with Kaneda's feelings....
Crow: And it only took her a couple of hours tops. Fancy that....
Besides, he was willing to teach her in the one profession that
she really did want to learn,
Joel: The world's oldest?
Crow: ENOUGH, Joel!
and was willing to protect her from the consequences of that training
as well! *Kaneda-kun, I don't know what the future will hold, but if I
have to marry a man, I'm sort of glad it's going to be you.*
All: (singing Weird Al) You're sort of everything I ever wanted....
Ranko, of course, loved to read romance novels of love at first
sight.
Tom: AND??
Crow: That was pointless....
Still unused to the house, she went into the main room
Joel: *Unused* to the house???
Crow: Most unusual grammar....
Tom: So she's *virginal* to the house?
where everyone else was having tea. Everyone turned to look at her
with her long hair slightly messy, the bow in it having seen better times,
her dress now with some dirt on it, and in a bit of disarray, and a little bit
more lively than the demure girl they had seen before.
Crow: She's a scrapper, that one is....
Joel: The studded leather collar would have tipped me off, too....
*Uh-oh...I'm in trouble...*
Joel: Trouble?
Crow: Trouble.
Tom: Right here in Nerima Ward....
Nodoka took one look at her daughter and got up, going to her
immediately, worried, and ready to fuss over her. "Ranko-chan! What
happened? Why is your dress like that?"
Joel: (imitating Ranko) I'm planning to audition for a Downy Soft commercial!
Ranko looked down to the ground, knowing her mother would be
furious with her once she found out the reason. "Ano...I had a practice
match with Kaneda, mother. It wasn't anything much,
Joel: (imitating Ranko) I just didn't see what was so exciting about producing
fire from a little wooden stick....
Tom: I guess that means she's finally met her match?
Crow: (groans)
and he wants to teach me the martial arts." Nodoka suddenly frowned.
Crow: Good. We're sick to death of smiles.
"Young lady, what have I told you about practicing the martial arts? Not
only does it not suit a young lady, but it takes time away from your studies.
Unless it is _absolutely_ necessary, I do not want you doing so."
Tom: Unless, of course, another young lady gets in your face....
Ranko's eyes glinted, "Yes mother."
Joel: (imitating Ranko) God, I hate you....
Nabiki was looking at this and raised an eyebrow.
Joel: Fascinating, Captain.
She was the only one who saw the emotion flit through the young girl's
eyes because of where she was sitting,
Joel: Yep, that can happen when you sit on corkscrew pasta....
Tom: Just ask Frank Costanza....
Crow: Guys....
and realized that Ranko wanted, and _needed_ to do the martial arts,
much like she needed to work with business related items.
Joel: When it comes to cucumbers, Nabiki's all business....
Crow: Joel....
It seemed that this match between Ranko and her brother might be better
than any of them realized,
Crow: (imitating Nabiki) The profits.....THE SHEER PROFITS....
if Nodoka would let her daughter live a more modern life.
Tom: Yeah, her and Rocko....
Crow: Wouldn't that mean she'd have to learn *Modern* Arts?
Joel: Ewww....
"Well, it may be necessary Aunt Saotome. This is a martial arts family
after all,
All: (singing) Hello WORLD! There's some ASS we'll be kicking....
and the reason for the marriage is to continue the school. If Kaneda is
going to be teaching the Art, he will need to concentrate on the higher
levels, and someone will have to teach the beginners classes. Besides,
Ranko would work with the children better than Kaneda ever could."
Crow: (imitating Kaneda) Arrrgh! I can't take these little brats anymore!
HIRYU SHOTEN HA!!!
Ranko took a quick peek at Nabiki, her eyes flashing in thanks, as
the older girl winked back.
Tom: What is this, Morse code?
Crow: (Blinking rapidly) S....A....V....E....O....U....R....S....A
....I....L....O....R....S....
Joel: (Blinking rapidly) I....F....Y....O....U....R....N....O....T....W....E....A....R
....I....N....G....P....A....N....T....I....E....S....S....M....I....L....E....
Crow: (Blinking rapidly) J....O....E....L....
Nodoka thought about this, especially since what Nabiki said was
true. The whole point of this marriage was to continue the Art, and that
meant that if the children were to be a success, her daughter needed to
study the Art.
Tom: Because as everyone knows, studying martial arts is the only way
for a girl to get pregnant nowadays....
There was one thing that had stopped her before and the problem was she
was afraid; afraid her daughter would die like her husband had so many
years ago.
Tom: *SHOW* not *TELL!* Geez!
Joel: (From the Great Muppet Caper) Plot exposition, it has to go
somewhere.
Crow: (imitating Nodoka) Genma was tragically run over by a Okonomiyaki
cart....and stabbed in each limb with a small spatula....and suffered third
degree burns from the gunpowder in a flower bomb....Did I mention he was
also cooked alive and served eight people?
Tom: (imitating customer) Hey, I ordered pork! Not horse meat!
"I don't know..."
Joel: Unleash the green slime!
Ranko spoke up slightly, "Mother. It would not be fair to
Kaneda-kun if I don't help him. He is the man I am betroth to, and that
means that his burdens must be mine."
All: (singing) Lean on me....When you're not strong....
Nodoka nodded. Her daughter spoke not only from honour, but from
the heart.
Crow: And it will go on....and on....and on....and on....
Tom: Let's hope Kaneda dies in her arms tonight....
Joel: Doesn't she need two hearts to believe in just one mind?
"Very well. But if you are to do any more practicing, you
must only do it in proper clothing. A dress is not something to fight
in."
Tom: Yeah, wear a school uniform like Sakura!
Joel: Nah, a skimpy nightie would be way more practical. It's comfortable,
plenty of flexibility....
Crow: This isn't Manos, Joel....
Kasumi smiled to herself as she assessed the girl. She would definitely be
good for Kaneda.
Tom: (imitating Kasumi) Hmmm.....nice body, well rounded breasts, firm
butt....this one will serve Kaneda well...
Crow: Tom....
Her polite ways would negate some of her younger brother's brashness, and
she was more than willing to take up his burdens, no matter what happened.
"Ranko-chan, perhaps you should go take a bath and change. I'm sure that you
will want to get out of that sweaty dress."
Joel: ....
Crow: (sighs) Go ahead Joel, I know you're dying to say it....
Joel: Actually....I've drawn a blank this time.
Tom: I haven't. (imitating Kasumi) ....so I can see the perspiration slowly
drip down your hot naked body....
Crow: (sighs again)
Ranko looked at her dress and winced,
Joel: Strong enough for a woman, my eye!
Crow: Ewww....
"Thank-you Kasumi-oneechan. I would appreciate it."
Nodoka smiled, "Go on Ranko. Soun and I still have to talk over a
few matters." As Ranko left, Nabiki excused herself as well. Her little
brothers attitude, and the way he was doing things, was annoying,
especially since it seemed he was doing everything he could to discourage
Ranko.
Tom: Huh? I thought Kaneda *wanted* Ranko to learn how to fight?
Giving Kaneda a small bit of pay-back for that would be good, and
it just might let Ranko display the anger that she had in an amusing
manner.
Joel: Throwing cream pies!
Tom: Anger towards whom? Where is Nabiki getting all this from?
***
All: (singing) Three little stars from space are we....
Ranko sighed happily as she was led to the washing area and given
a soft sponge, some soap, shampoo, and a rinsing bucket.
Tom: (imitating Shampoo) Hitomi give Shampoo to martial-arts girl? Shampoo KILL!
Joel: Ranko's going to wash Shampoo? I'd pay good money to see that!
Crow: Thank goodness Kasumi didn't give her Mousse....
She went in and took off her dress, hanging it on a hook by the hamper,
and taking out her hair ribbon. Going into the washing area, she fluffed
her long hair, smiling with pride in its luster. She filled the rinse bucket
with some cold water, splashed it over herself, and started washing.
Joel: (imitating Shampoo in a sexy voice) Ranko start at top, work way down....
Crow: Joel....
It had always been fun for her to luxuriate in a bath.
Tom: And even more fun to watch....
Crow: It's not what you think, hentai-brain!
Joel: Huh? Somebody call me?
Remembering something, she quickly checked to see if she had remembered
to put out the occupied sign, and then started to scrub her skin clean.
Soon, she rinsed herself off and entered the tub.
Crow: Didn't she use the rinse bucket already?
***
Tom: Third star to the right....and straight on till morning....
Nabiki smirked to herself as she saw Ranko check the sign and go
back in. Quietly going to the door, she removed the sign and then went
out to the Dojo, where her brother was still sitting.
Joel: (imitating Nabiki) Okay bro, I got her naked and alone in the
bathroom for you. That'll be 5000 yen.
Crow: Joel....
While he had somewhat gotten over the kiss, no longer rubbing his face,
he had remained there to meditate a bit.
Tom: (imitating Kaneda) Hmmm....If a tree falls in the forest and nobody's
around to hear it....where were they?
Crow: (imitating Kaneda) Why does bottled water have an expiry date?
Joel: (imitating Kaneda) If Pamela Anderson breastfeeds her baby, does
that mean the milk comes in plastic bags?
Crow: JOEL!
Seeing this, Nabiki smiled to herself. "Bath's ready, little brother. Make
sure you've washed up and aren't smelly eh?"
Tom: (imitating Kaneda) Ah take off, you hoser!
Kaneda stared daggers at his sister and then growled out sarcastically.
"Thanks! I'll remember to do that."
Joel: Geez, even Pantyhose Taro had better comebacks than this guy.
***
Tom: Shouldn't those stars be in a circus?
Ranko lowered herself into the tub, happy and glad for this first day.
Joel: I thought she'd already entered the tub?
It hadn't been so bad, and although there had been an unexpected
discovery that Kaneda was Uncle Tendo's only son, she decided her mother
was correct. Besides, Kaneda was kind of fun to be around. If they got
to know each other, then when she told him her secret, all would be well.
All: Like hell....
***
Tom: What? You think I have a star/snowflake joke for *every* scene
change?!?
Kaneda was unnerved and changed out of his clothes, not even
noticing the dress that was hung up. Since he usually didn't pay
attention to these things, he also didn't notice the change of clothes
sitting there. Shaking his head, he opened the door and went in...
Crow: I guess he's never accidentally walked in on Kasumi or Nabiki before....
Joel: Trust me, when you share a bathroom with two girls, you learn to
knock before entering, warning sign or no warning sign....
Tom: Speaking from experience, Joel?
Joel: Nah, I've seen most of the "Three's Company" episodes....
***
Tom: No! Forget it! I'm out of jokes! Move it along!
The door to the bath opened suddenly, and Ranko looked up. To his
surprise, Kaneda was standing there, staring at him, and about ready to
shout. It wouldn't be good if he did, so Ranko hurriedly held up a hand
to ask for quiet.
Joel: Mr. Speaker, Ranko has the floor....
For Kaneda's part, he was actually very surprised to see a man
with long hair already in the bath, a person who looked familiar.
Tom: Mousse?
Crow: Malachite?
Joel: Howard Stern?
He was about to ask who this person was when the person held up a hand
for silence. *Might as well play along. After all, there's not a person who
can defeat me.*
Crow: Am I the only one experiencing deja vu here?
Tom: Perspective changes are one thing, but this is getting annoying....
Ranko looked down and then up,
Joel: (imitating Weird Al Yankovic) Now look at Mr. Frying Pan!
*CLANG* Uh oh! Ranko fall down, go boom....
a little scared. "Ah...Well...You might as well know. I...I'm Ranko,
although when I was born I was named Ranma."
Joel: (imitating Kaneda) Yeah, right! And my name's actually Akane!
Getting out of the bath quickly, he got the rinse bucket he had
left beside the tub and poured it over himself, saying, "I can explain
this, if you give me a chance."
Tom: Can he explain how he uses the rinse bucket over and over without
having to fill it back up again?
Crow: Nitpick, nitpick, nitpick....
Kaneda just fell to his knees as he saw a person who was definitely
_male_ get out of the water saying that he was Ranko.
Joel: Now, there's an image I'd could do without....
When he poured the water over his head and became at least a head
shorter, rounder,
Joel: ....firmer, softer, bigger.....
Crow: What? Her head?
and _very_ female, his mind went on overload. Kanada did the
logical thing having faced one too many shocks already,
Tom: He snapped and went on a killing spree?
Joel: I wish....
he fainted.
Tom: Wuss!
Ranko's fear immediately became concern and she rushed over to
him, placing his head on her lap and gently running a hand across his
forehead.
Joel: Somehow, I don't think that'll have the same effect now that Kaneda
knows Ranko is a guy....
"Kaneda-kun. Kaneda-kun! Please wake up!"
Crow: Wake up so this fanfic will end!
***
Crow: Come on, Tom. One more for the road?
Tom: Oh, all right! *ahem* (singing) O Holy Night, the stars are brightly
shining....
Crow: Nicely done....even though Christmas is long over.
Hitomi
Ichinohei Hitomi
Tom: Of her Majesty's Secret Service....
Crow: (imitating John Walsh) If you have any information leading to the
whereabouts of this author....
Joel: ....don't tell anybody or Dr. Frank will send us more of her fanfics!
Hitomi@terminal.autobahn.mb.ca
Tom: It's over? Aw, dammit! They snubbed Dr. Tofu again!
Joel: I guess he's still working for the MIB....
http://204.112.189.3/~hitomi
"The beginings of wisdom is the ability to always ask questions."
Tom: Okay. How do you spell "beginnings?"
Crow: I've got a few questions. For starters: Why was there so much
redundancy in this fanfic?
Joel: Yeah, why did it tell us things over and over without showing them?
Crow: Why did the dialogue sound so unnatural?
Tom: Why was Ranko's secret made into such a big deal when the readers
most likely knew what it was from the start?
Joel: Why did Nabiki think sending her brother into the bath with Ranko
would help her out when it was obvious Ranko was not subject to losing
her temper like a certain tomboy?
Crow: Frankly guys, this fanfic wasn't all that good....
Joel: Yeah, I actually almost enjoyed it.
Crow: Oh please! You only enjoyed it because of all the opportunities for
sexual jokes.
Joel: Hey, you interpret the story your way, I'll interpret it mine.
Tom: Guys, can we finish this argument outside?
Crow: Oh yeah! Now we can check out Dr. Frank's holowhatever....
Joel: Five will get you ten that it'll suck....
Crow: You're on!
Tom: It can't be any worse than being stuck in here....
* * *
THE HOLOCABARET
"I LOVE YOU, DR. FRANK!!!"
Joel's voice was filled with joy and happiness, something he
hadn't truly felt since he was first sent into space, as the Dominion
Puma Twins rubbed suntan oil all over him. They were both dressed in
the skimpiest of bikinis and while Dr. Frank's program wouldn't allow
him to do anything sexual with them, a *theraputic* massage was completely
permissible and he was loving every minute of it.
The holographic beach seemed to stretch on for miles, the sun
was out in full force but the safety protocols prevented Joel from burning
to a crisp. Then Joel heard the sound of hoverjets coming closer and he
looked up to see Tom with Cutey Honey on one arm and Kekko Kamen
on the other. They were both wearing thongs to comply with Dr. Frank's
standards but they still looked incredibly sexy.
Meanwhile, Crow sat in a lounge chair by the beach, watching
Joel and Tom laughing and talking with their dates. He had to admit he
never would have expected Dr. Frank to give them something like this.
He was tempted to join them, but he was enjoying the soothing sound of
the ocean too much to leave....
* * *
CLOUD 9
"I hope I haven't made a mistake...."
Dr. Frank hadn't meant to pose the question aloud but when he
did, T.V's Forrester turned to stare at him curiously. "Why would you
think that? They haven't created anything evil yet...."
"I know. That's what's worrying me. I expected them to use
the device to release their frustrations and anger. That's why I made sure
there would be no sexual conduct with the holograms. Instead they're
using it for a free holiday...."
"Give them time, Dr. F. I'm sure they'll eventually think of
something evil to use it for." Forrester assured him.
Dr. Frank gave a small smile. "Perhaps you're right. Perhaps
I'm just a little impatient for results. Either way, I'm sure they'll *NEVER*
try to take control of the satellite again and wreck havoc...."
"Amen to that, Dr. F. Shall I throw the switch?"
"Please do." Dr. Frank replied.
"As you wish." Forrester bowed toward him before walking over
to the console and flipping a tiny silver lever...."
THE REAL END....
(Feel free to hum the closing theme as you read my author's notes.)
Thus ends the second MSTing of the Satellite of Hate. I considered letting
the SOL have a cameo but I thought I'd let the SOH have all the spotlight
this time around. Next time, it may be different though....
I'd like to give very special thanks to Gary Kleppe and Robin "Lunari"
Seabaugh who were all very helpful in giving me C&C and ideas for this
MSTing. I couldn't have finished this MSTing without their help and I
can't thank them enough. :)
I'd also like to thank Timothy McLees, Luna and Artemis, Chris
Bergstrom, Jay Dee Archer (Jupiter Knight), Michael K. Neylon and
Sakura for being nice enough to post my MSTings on their webpages.
Another person I would like to give very special thanks to is Shizen,
who was nice enough to dedicate a webpage for my MSTings. Shizen
has his own IRC and Beseen.com chatrooms, along with several other
features including a growing collection of Ranma 1/2 and Sailor Moon
fanfics. My other fanfics as well as Robin "Lunari" Seabaugh's can be
found in these collections and new submissions are very welcome. Check
it out in the links section below. :)
Also, I'm very proud to announce that my MSTings won the following
categories for the 1st Annual Silly Mally Awards and I'm very grateful
to everyone who voted for them. If you're interested in the complete results,
visit Tenchi's Vault of Anime MSTings.
*BEST ANIME (Non-Sailor Moon) MSTING*
"War" MSTed by Megane 6.7
(Runner up:"Ranma vs the Joker" MSTed by Kevin Pezzano)
*BEST SAILOR MOON MSTING* (TIE)
"Dimisional Trouble", MSTed by Tim McLees
"Sailor Jupiter vs Godzilla", MSTed by Megane 6.7
*BEST NON-ANIME MSTING*
"Moondusted", MSTed by Tim McLees, Megane 6.7 & Mark Sachs
(Runner Up: "A Final Fantasy 7 Thanksgiving", MSTed by Jamie Jeans
*BEST MSTING OF A LEMON*
"Artemis' Lover" MSTed by Megane 6.7
(Runner-Up:Virgin Warrior Sailor Moon, MSTed by Megane 6.7)
*BRAVEST AUTHOR*
Megane 6.7, the 1st TVAM MSTer, discovered Oscar.
(Runner-Up:Don Euclid, for his work with the Sasami lemons)
*BEST HOST SEGMENTS IN A MSTING*
Megane 6.7
(Runner-Up:Tim McLees)
*BEST RIFFS IN A MSTING*
Megane 6.7
(Runner-up:Seth Triggs)
Thank you very much. :)
Finally I'd like to thank Hitomi for writing "Ranko's Life" and giving me a
lot of material to work with. I hope you're not too offended. It's all meant
in good fun. If you are, feel free to MST my own works, I won't mind a bit.
C&C, as always, is appreciated. (fcasper@yesic.com) Feel free to
send in any anime fanfics that you would like to see MSTed and I'll take
a look at it. Also, if you're interested in seeing any previous episodes
of this series, I'll be happy to e-mail them to you. ;)
Sincerely,
Megane 6.7
Tenchi's Vault of Anime MSTings (New and Improved!!!)
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/MSTings.html
(Celebrating it's one year anniversary, Tenchi's webpage is now bigger
and better looking than ever! Check out the new features and enjoy the
MSTings of an ever-growing number of talented authors.)
Shizen's Versatile Homepage
http://www.winnipeg.freenet.mb.ca/~cto427/index.html
(Shizen was nice enough to dedicate a webpage to me for my MSTings
and it also contains a link to my other stories and the stories of Robin
"Lunari" Seabaugh.)
Gary Kleppe's Comics and Manga Page
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics
(Another author with a vast selection of terrific Ranma 1/2 fanfics and a
great human being.)
The Official Homepage of Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong
http://www.isc.rit.edu/~jkw7063/fanfic/index.htm
(Author of the popular "Usagi's Usual Morning" series and a great human being.)
Website Number 9 MSTings
http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml
(Huge collection of MSTings, Anime and Non-Anime.)
Jupiter Knight's Great Sailor Moon Fanfic Archive
http://www.dragonfire.net/~JupiterKnight/fanfics.htm
(A great source of Sailor Moon Fanfics.)
Zen's Fanfiction Page
http://www.mindspring.com/~databank/fanfics.html
(One of the most controversial fanfic writers today and one of my favorites.)
The New Luna and Artemis Central Command
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/9897/
(The source of some of my MSTings and updated weekly with new fics.)
Sakura's Lemon Fan-Fiction Archive
http://anime.muck.com/~sakura/main.html
(Ever growing collection of Lemon Fanfiction from all walks of Anime.)
The Shrine O' Oscar
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/Oscar.html
(Home of all the Oscarfic MSTings and final respects paid to him....)
SEASON ONE
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101- "GAMES" by Artemis (SM Lemon)
102- "ARTEMIS'S LOVER" (Original Draft) by Oscar (SM Lemon)
103- "SAILOR JUPITER VS. GODZILLA" by The Flashman
(SM/GODZILLA CROSSOVER)
104- "JUDGE BRAINITITE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic)
w/short "RANMA 1/2: ACCUSED PT. 1" by Karmin (R1/2 Fanfic)
105- "THE WAR" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic)
106- "TRANSITIONS" by Richard Lawson (Nuku Nuku Fanfic)
107- "HELLRAISERS" (Original Draft) by Aaron Eaton
(La Blue Girl/Overfiend/Original Crossover)
108- "MEN OF BOKKEN" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic)
109- "BISHOUJO SENSHI ROYAL RUMBLE" by Ken Hoinsky
(SM/WWF Crossover)
w/short "THE DINNER PARTY" by Chris Curzon (SM/RL Crossover)
110- "XMAS SPECIAL: SAILOR MOON MEETS FATHER CHRISTMAS"
by Dr. Thinker (SM Christmas Fanfic
SEASON TWO
-------------------
201- "THAT GIRL" PT. 1-2 by Oscar (SM Lemon)
202- "VIRGIN WARRIOR SAILOR MOON" by Umino (SM Lemon)
203- "*R*P*M*" by Flynn (SM Fanfic)
">Kaneda had shown Ranko around the entire house, and he was quickly
getting sick and tired of her quiet, demure, and absolutely dedicated
attitude towards him."
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations
are trademarks of and (c) 1994 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights
reserved.
Keep Circulating the Fanfics....
