Yeah...on 10 Apr 98, at 12:25, that cat Gary Kleppe was going on 'bout 
something:

Jonathan Ng <jonathan@worldy.com> wrote:

"Embrace Who You Are"
Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction
Jonathan Ng <jonathan@worldy.com>

This has potential, but needs some work. Here are some suggestions:

1) Slow down. You need to go slowly and show enough so that we can
understand how the characters are feeling and why they are saying what
they are. Case in point:

Addendum: this style MIGHT work if done properly, but it involves maintaining 
a single point-of-view to permit an effective stream-of-consciousness.  A 
very difficult method of writing, but when properly executed it is one of the 
most beautiful styles to read.  I agree, there's definitely some room for 
work.

-The Reverend Prez
*  *  *

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