SEE!  Kentaro finally stop talking!

SEE!  Ranma spread her legs!

SEE!  Ranma eat snacks!

SEE!  Kentaro get what's coming to him!


[title pending - a slightly angsty, heart-wrenching, tale of a girl
who sometimes is a guy, a guy who sometimes is a putz, a movie theater
and snacks, all set in the grand, sweeping universe of Richard
Lawson's Thy Outward Part.]

;)
  
Gimme a Break:
Ranma and Kentaro's Excellent Adventure
(if slightly unfulfilling)
by Lara Bartram

	"Come on, When's the last time you went out to the movies?"
Ranma asked Kentaro, tugging on his hand.  Though it wasn't really
tugging; more of a gentle wrenching.
	"Please.  I..."
	"Yeah, I know you need to relax more.  Trust me, I know.  You
also need to stop thinking so much.  So try this, relax and stop
thinking.  Join the rest of the human race."
	Even though Kentaro felt run into the ground, he couldn't help
but smile back at Ranma.  "Maybe," he said slowly.  "What did you have
in mind?"
	Rolling her eyes, Ranma shook her head.  "Hello?  Weren't you
listening to me?"
	"Sorry.  It's been a long day."
	"Che.  You're taking me out to a movie.  No rainchecks, no
postponements, no nothing.  We're going to see a movie."
	Ranma's voice left no room for argument.  Kentaro sighed.
"Fine, Ranma, what do you want to see?"
	"You know, Ken-chan, you could attempt to get pleasant and
enthusiastic about this.  'Cause right now, you're being a complete
drag."  Ranma had a hint of a smile on her face, but she looked
otherwise totally serious.
	Kentaro smiled at that and nodded.  "I hear and obey.  What
should we see?"
	"Your choice, Ken-chan."  Ranma smiled, but it was a small
secretive smile.

	They settled into the seats of the theater, Kentaro holding a
smallish bucket of popcorn, and Ranma with a large drink.
	"I really have to wonder about your taste in movies,
Ken-chan," Ranma said as the lights began to dim and the previews
flickered to life on the screen.
	"You did say it was my choice.  Next time, be a little more
specific."  Kentaro smiled in the darkness.
	"Ken-chan, you're being smug again.  You should stop before I
hurt you."
	Kentaro chuckled.  "Yes, dear."
	Then he did get hit.  He wasn't sure if it was worth it.
	The beginning of the movie prevented any more violence, a fact
that Kentaro was very glad for.  He also enjoyed meeting Ranma halfway
over the shared arm of the seat to lean against each other.
	It couldn't have been more than a third of the way into the
movie when the popcorn and soda had run out, a record actually.
Usually it was gone before the previews were even over, but Ranma had
been strangely subdued the entire time.
	Not that Kentaro minded.  The fact that Ranma had gone along
with his suggestion without protesting once was its own reward.  And
then, spending time with her, quiet time, not watching some movie
filled with fighting, and guns, and explosions...
	Ranma pulling her hand away from his surprised him.  He had
been very engrossed with the on-screen events and the sudden movement
had almost frightened him.  "Where are you..."
	Ranma left without saying a word.  She walked down the aisle,
then turned and left the theater.
	Ranma was an adult.  She could handle herself; Kentaro was
doing his best not to be an over-protective wet blanket, but it was
hard.  There was still that niggling sensation inside him that told
him Ranma would never be satisfied with a man, that Ranma WAS a man
and would leave for a woman.
	Kentaro shuddered involuntarily at the thought, then forced
himself to relax and get back into the movie.  Ranma would be back.
She was probably just getting more snacks or using the restroom.

	A bit later, Ranma returned, moving back to her seat next to
Kentaro.  As she hoped, he was thoroughly engrossed in the film and
paid her return no mind.  Without a second thought of the other people
in the theater, Ranma slouched low in her seat and paused.  Then she
slouched lower until her head wasn't visible above the seat.
	Lower, and lower.  She was barely on the seat when she slipped
off it totally.  Moving down among Kentaro's feet, she struck quickly,
and with deadly accuracy.  Before he knew what had happened, Kentaro's
pants were undone, and he was about to start clinging to the ceiling.
	"Ranma!"
	"Ken-chan, you're disturbing the other movie-goers.  Stow it,"
Ranma warned quietly.
	Kentaro felt vaguely insulted at the tone in Ranma's voice,
but it couldn't possibly hold up to the strength of his embarrassment.
"Ranma," he hissed, "what do you think you're doing?"
	Ranma feigned innocence.  "What?  I thought you were the
doctor?  Why don't you give me a physical?"
	Ranma could see Kentaro's face turn rather pink at her
suggestion.  "Ranma, I don't..."
	"I've warned you about talking.  You do it too much.  And
we're in a theater, so talking is strongly discouraged.  You could be
removed if you don't stop it.  Or I could keep you quiet myself."
Finally the tables had turned.  That defense Kentaro liked to use so
much was now rendered close to ineffective.  Ranma just wished that he
would get the point that not everything he said needed to be phrased
in the form of a thesis.
	"But..."  Kentaro looked around to see if anyone was staring
at them, at the spectacle, but there wasn't anyone even close to them.
In fact, they had sat in the second row from the back, and there
wasn't a soul behind them.  Suddenly, Kentaro didn't quite feel in
control of the situation.
	Ranma smiled, almost sneakily, which Kentaro couldn't really
see, and put one hand flat on his chest.  Ranma put her other hand on
the waistband of Kentaro's pants and underwear and pulled slowly.
	Right away, Kentaro tried to sit up, but Ranma's hand,
exerting gentle, but forceful pressure on his chest prevented him from
moving much.  He started to open his mouth to protest, but the force
on his chest increased until it felt like his lungs were being forced
up and out of his mouth.  He decided maybe he shouldn't talk.
	Ranma gave him a critical look, mostly lost in the darkness,
and shook her head.  "If this is what being a doctor does to you, I
think you should be a bartender," she whispered.
	Not quite sure what she meant, Kentaro gurgled a little, the
pressure still on his chest.
	"That's much better," Ranma answered, finding great joy in
putting Kentaro in his place.  It was all too easy to do when they
were training together; Ranma wanted to get him when they were more on
even ground.
	"Ken-chan, all I want you to do is relax.  Do you think you
can handle that?  Do you think you can not be a doctor for once?
Maybe even stop thinking about being one?"
	Nodding, Kentaro took a giant breath of air when Ranma's hand
was removed from his chest.  How could he refuse her gentle
persuasions?  Wanting to protest, but not wanting to be hurt, Kentaro
struggled internally as Ranma started to pull his pants down.
	Finally making his mind up, Kentaro was ready to stop the
entire fiasco, but Ranma pushing down her pants stopped him where he
sat.  His mouth worked a little, but no sound came out.
	"Hey, that worked better than I thought," Ranma said quietly,
smiling to herself.  She looked down at Kentaro and smirked.  He was
just about the most predictable person Ranma knew, and that was saying
quite a bit.
	Ranma took Kentaro's chin in her hand.  Instead of saying
anything, she gave it a gentle shake and carefully balanced herself on
the seat arms.
	The most difficult thing about it was how skinny the seats
were.  They just weren't built to accommodate two people in such a
manner.  Ranma was confident that she wouldn't have too much of a
problem though.  As long as Kentaro didn't struggle too much.  She
preferred him conscious.
	"See, Ken-chan?  No need to talk," Ranma said as she lowered
herself.
	Yeah.  Hmm.  Nope, the seats definitely did not work for that
activity.  Naturally, Kentaro's eyes were glazed over, they always
did, but Ranma was getting annoyed at how uncooperative the seats
were.
	First she tried putting her legs out in front of her, over the
seats.  That didn't work.  Kentaro wasn't being any help at all, and
she could feel herself start to slide backward.  No go.
	Then she tried putting her legs on either side of Kentaro's
body.  The seat proved to be her most wicked nemesis yet again.  It
was far too skinny to even fit her legs down there, let alone move in 
that position.  Cheap shit theater and their tiny seats.
	Fine.  One last try.  This would work.  She'd make sure.
	Ranma spread her legs, putting them over the arms of the
seats, and put her feet in the seats on each side of the one she was
in.  Clenching her leg muscles just a little, Ranma found she could
easily brace herself in her current position.
	That was it.  And by the little moan of pleasure, apparently
Kentaro was agreeing with her assessment of the situation.  Right
away, his hands grabbed onto her thighs, and he did something Ranma
would have never thought him capable of.
	Leaning back in the seat somewhat, he braced his feet on the
back of the seat in front of him.  This gave him some extra leverage to
return Ranma's wriggling, gyrating motions with some weak thrusting of
his own.
	It was certainly fine, it felt pleasant as usual, but there
was something missing.  Maybe it was the theater, or lack of personal
contact, or just...  Ranma didn't know, but it just wasn't as much fun
as she thought it might be.  Finally getting a bit bored, especially
since Kentaro got to watch the movie and she didn't, Ranma increased
her tempo.
	The faster she brought Kentaro off, the faster she could go
back to doing things that interested her.  Like getting some more
snacks.
	Kentaro, in the meantime, was still going at it, missing the
bored look on Ranma's face because he was still keeping one eye on the
movie.  He knew if this didn't stop soon though, he'd really embarrass
himself by making way too much noise.  Plus he was a bit edgy about
when the movie was supposed to end.
	Still, he could think of a lot worse things to be doing at the
movie theater than this.  Ranma sighing and increasing her tempo
pulled his attention away from the screen for a moment.  He
reciprocated the move and desperately tried not to make too much
noise.
	  Well...  Maybe desperate was the right word, but it didn't
have much to do with any sort of noises he was about to make.  He
reached back behind his head and grabbed on to the seat.  Pushing
against the seat with his feet and holding tightly to his own seat,
Kentaro was able to lift Ranma up.
	It wasn't easy, but he didn't dare suggest that she lay off
the snacking.
	Luckily for him, there was one rather heated moment in the
movie, the characters on the screen having a loud argument, throwing
things back and forth, that masked his loud groan.  Kentaro held his
"bridge" position for a few moments.
	Ranma counted the seconds in her head.  Right on schedule,
Kentaro slumped back into the seat, his whole body relaxing.
Apparently it had been good for him.  Now time for some Raisinettes.
Or maybe one of those big packages of Kit-Kats.  Gimme a break indeed.
	She athletically rolled over into the seat next to Kentaro and
pulled up her pants and underwear.  Live and learn, after all.  She
wouldn't have known what a disappointment it was if she hadn't tried
it at least once.
	Looking over to ask if Kentaro wanted anything, she rolled her
eyes at the glazed look on his face.  "Ken-chan, you are hopeless.  Do
you know that?"
	Ranma got Kentaro's pants up, making a mental note to get him
some napkins, then scampered out of the theater.  One of those frosty,
slushy things sounded pretty good too.

	A bit later, Ranma with an armful of assorted snacks returned
to the theater to find Kentaro and an usher in some sort of argument.
	"Look, buddy, this isn't some geisha house.  You can't DO that
here.  You've gotta leave," the usher said.
	Ranma barely stopped herself from laughing out loud.  Kentaro
was sputtering, his pants still undone, trying to explain things
without explaining them.  She decided it was time to save him.
	"Excuse me, is there a problem?" she asked sweetly.
	"Oh, ma'am, do you know this man?" the usher asked, sounding
quite embarrassed.
	"Yes.  Is there a problem?"
	"Well, we can't have this type of... behavior going on in the
theater.  You understand, of course.  I was just about to escort him
out," the usher replied, sounding supremely embarrassed.
	"That won't be necessary.  He just got back from the dentist
and all.  Gas, you know.  He's not totally aware of what he's doing
yet," Ranma replied with a huge smile on her face.
	Amazingly enough, the usher seemed to buy it.  Nodding, he
gave Kentaro a disdainful look, then bowed slightly to Ranma.  "Thank
you, ma'am."  He retreated down the aisle, watching the two carefully.
What a weird couple.  Maybe it was time to ask for that raise.


[Can you believe he actually asked me to write this?]