Ranma stepped forward.  "All right," he said, folding his arms, "I
wanna know who you are and how we got here.  'Cause if you don't, I'm gonna
kick your ass, understand?"
	The tall, red-haired gaijin said something incomprehensible and
stuck his hand out.  "Guess not," muttered Ranma.  He took the proffered
hand and shook it.  The girls burst out all at once with advice,
instructions, and demands.  Ranma spun around.  "Hey, shut up, okay?" he
shouted.  The girls shouted back, insisting they didn't have to shut up,
and who did he think he was, ordering them about, and this was probably all
his fault anyway.  The conversation degenerated from there.
	The redhead and his two animals took up their playing and chanting
again, and the hostility began to bleed away.  Ranma found himself
apologizing to Akane, who smiled at him.   His brain felt warm and fuzzy.
Soon he was hugging each of his fiancees in turn and kissing them on the
cheek, which made them giggle.
	"Hey," said Ukyo, "I can understand them!"
	They settled down on the sand to listen, Akane snuggled against
Ranma on one side, Shampoo on the other.  Ukyo lay with her head on his
lap.  Kodachi sat beside them and tried to look haughty.

		"Need communication, not disintergration,
		"Ain't no need to be so demandin'
	 	"Don't get the joke, it ain't broke,
		"Right on the money, don't see what's so funny
		"'Bout peace, love, and understandin'"

***

	Once the song ended, Buncan addressed the girls again.  "I'm Buncan
Meriweather..."
	"Hi, Buncan!" chorused the girls.  A fresh burst of giggling ensued.
	"...and these are Neena and Squill.  They're otters."
	"Well, they otter be!" said Shampoo brightly.  More laughter.
	"I'm Ranma," said the pig-tailed girl, "And these are Akane,
Shampoo, Ukyo, and that over there is Kodachi."
	"I am the Black Rose of Saint Hebereke," said Kodachi.  This struck
the other girls as extremely funny.
	"Ranma is really a boy," said Shampoo.
	"But he's under a curse," added Ukyo.
	"...So we're not really totally perverted," finished Akane.  They
all giggled yet again, except Kodachi, who looked puzzled.
	"Now if I were to do this..."  Akane leaned over and kissed Shampoo
full on the lips.  Shampoo struggled and broke free.  "...that would be
perverted."
	Buncan look at them, bewildered.  Akane and Ukyo had collapsed,
holding each other and laughing.  Kodachi, likewise, was giggling
helplessly.  Ranma was laughing too, although Buncan thought he looked a
little uncomfortable.  Only Shampoo wasn't laughing, but was rubbing her
mouth and making spitting noises, a look of utter disgust on her face.
	"I don't get it," said Buncan.  "What's so funny?"
	"Peace, love, and understandin'," said Neena.  "I think they're
stoned."
	"'Ave to take the bad with the good, wot?" said Squill.
	"She put her tongue in my mouth," complained Shampoo bitterly.

***

"Ranma 1/2" characters by Rumiko Takahashi
"Spellsinger" characters by Alan Dean Foster.

What do you think, sirs?

--David