At 12:24 AM 4/8/98 +0800, Chan Wei Lik wrote:

	The ending: doesn't seem to be quite right, somehow. It didn't come out 

the way >I wanted it to

You're right, the last part felt weak compared with the buildup before. How 
about showing Skuld learning her lesson that there are worse things than 
letting Keiichi and Belldandy  be together and being on Earth with her 
sisters. Such as losing Belldandy completely and STILL being stranded on 
Earth.
On another matter, the Lord never did say He forbade Belldandy to go to 
Earth. Just that she was underperforming.

She was neglecting her duties because she was on Earth, with Keiichi.
Think of it as yet another infraction on her part. Evidence that she has
not changed. To be called in by Him personally has got to be fairly
drastic, I would assume. 
	Srill, I think I can change it to read a bit better....

And about that tree being used to make a mirror, I think its VERY unlikely 
even though that temple has been abandonded for years. Furniture makers 
just don't walk around the city outskirts looking for trees to use. They go 
to the forest.

	I agree, I just wasn't sure how else for Keiichi to totally regain
his memories. I don't think I dropped enough hints otherwise....
It did feel like it was on the contrived side for me, although if the tree
were dead, it might get chopped down, and it might get turned into
something (it was around a small copse of trees, wasn't it?). If it was
chopped down, I doubt it would be wasted, or simply used for fire-wood,
cherry-wood is too nice a wood, too expensive for that. 
	I think I might know a way to make this more believable....

Finally, I understand your reasons for using honored sister instead of the 
usual oneesama. Its ok, but it only conveys the respect Skuld has for her 
sister not the affection as well.

But ya gotta admit, it's a little different! ^_-



Matthew "Maybeso" Lewis
Maybeso on IRC
Sojiro_Seta on Kawaiimuck
Warped, in Real Life
Member of:
FFML, FFIRCML, El Hazard ML
	maybeso@ican.net
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I have no problems with reality, I ignore it, and
it ignores me. We're quite happy with the 
arrangement, actually.
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