Subject: [FFML][Ranma�][sadfic][shortfic] lnnocence's End
From: NdokaSaotm
Date: 4/6/1998, 12:16 AM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

No real knowledge of Ranma� is needed for the enjoyment of this fic.


lnnocence's End
By Anita Williams

                        *   *   *   *
"She that was mine had flown just 
beyond reach... and would remain so..." 
   ~Rayek from "Rogue's Challenge"

                        *   *   *   *

     Mousse watched stoicly as Shampoo embraced her new husband. 
He had lost her for good. This time there would be no more chasing 
and declaring his undying love. None of that mattered anymore. Nor 
would it ever again. He closed his eyes as the new bride and groom 
were presented. A single tear ran down his cheek as he headed for the 
door of the Nekohanten. He rested his hand wearily on the door frame, 
looked back one last time at the woman who had meant so much to 
him, and left. All without word or protest.

     Akane watched Mousse's unceremonious exit and started to follow 
him, but felt a hand on her shoulder stopping her from going. She didn't 
care who it was. She knew that even if Mousse himself wouldn't want 
to talk to her she still wanted to let him know that someone cared. 
That he wasn't alone. With a shrug of her shoulder to remove the 
unwanted hand, she headed out the door.

     lt was terribly difficult to follow him. One would think that it wouldn't
be, because he really couldn't see where he was going, but he moved 
so quickly from one place to the next. Not running, but not a slow 
mournful gait either. She did her best to follow him, but lost him 
somewhere near the park. After searching for 10 minutes, she finally 
spotted him near the pond watching the ducks.

     As she approached him, she was about to call his name, but he 
interrupted her before she even opened her mouth. "l sensed you 
searching for me. l really wanted to be alone, but for the moment, l 
don't think that's a good idea." He looked in her general direction, his 
thick glasses perched on top of his head, and patted the ground next 
to him.

     "Not a good idea?" Akane was a bit naive on such things, so it 
took her a while to figure out what he was implying. "You don't mean 
you might..." Her voice trailed off.

     "Suicide? l don't know. My head's buzzing with so many questions, 
looking for so many answers. The temptation to end it all is there, but 
even l know that's not an answer."

     Akane sat and hugged her knees to her as she watched the ducks 
with Mousse. "What kind of questions?"

     A sad thoughtful look passed over Mousse's face before he 
answered. "Some of the ones you'd expect. Why wouldn't she love me 
back? What do l do now? But the most important question now is 
Why aren't l crying?" He looked up in the direction of some clouds. "l 
love her. Probably more than she'll ever know, and my heart is...." He 
closed his eyes briefly, then opened them again slowly. "But why can't 
l cry? lt's almost like l'm dead, only my body doesn't know it yet.

     "You... you still love her, right?"

     Mousse stared directly at Akane. "Of course l do."

     She looked up at the sky. "Then you can't be dead inside. You still 
love."

     Mousse was silent for a while. "lt hurts."

     Akane looked sympathetically at him. "l know."

     "l must've been horrible in a past life to be punished like this."

     "lt's a punishment to love?" Akane stared at him with a look of 
disappointment.

     "Only when it's not returned. lt's like eating soup with a hole in the 
spoon. You can see the soup in the bowl. You put everything you got 
into eating it, but you can't seem to get the soup to mouth. l gave 
everything to her. There was nothing l wouldn't do to make her smile. 
To be near her was pure heaven. To be away from her, hell. You don't 
know what it was like to see her obsessing over Saotome, but ignoring 
me. l'd see her time and time again, giving her love to him and then to 
have him reject her. There wasn't anything l wouldn't do... nothing l 
wouldn't give to have been in his place. To see her sad, but be unable 
to hold her and tell her it would be alright. There wasn't a time l 
wouldn't think of her. The wind, the sun, a crack in the sidewalk. 
Everything reminded me of my beautiful goddess. Sometimes, my love 
for her would scare me. l never felt this way about anyone.

     "l thought that maybe, if l were persistant enough, she would finally 
love me. That if my dedication to her were strong enough, she'd be 
mine. "Happily ever after." But now l know that happily ever after is a 
lie. At least mine is. She was my "be all" and "end all". She was what 
l lived for. What do l do now that she's gone? How do l go on now that 
my love, my life, my world has left? l feel so lost. She was my 
beginning. My life started the day when l fell in love with her. Now that 
she's gone, l feel... lost, dead, and strangly reborn. All that l am, is 
dead. l have to start over. But l don't know how to do that or where to 
even start. Love is a long way off. l have to re-build me before l can 
even think about romance. But... maybe then, l will finally find 
someone to love and who will return my love." 

     He gave a short ironic laugh. "l guess, l found my beginning by 
myself. l was innocent when l thought she would love me. l didn't know 
heartache born of hopelessness. Now that l've seen her married, my 
innocence is dead. l know better now. When innocence dies... the 
only thing left to me is the hope to move on with my life. And now... l 
can only hope to find a place where l belong. To whom l belong with." 
He looked over his shoulder at her with an odd mixture of hope and 
sadness in his green eyes. "Where ever that is, it's not here. Goodbye 
Akane. l hope life treats you with more respect than it has me." With 
that he got up and walked away. 

     As she watched him walk away, she couldn't help but admire him. 
Someone with so much love in his heart and so much love he wanted 
to give. And he gave it all without question or hesitation. All in the hope 
that he would be loved back. Akane turned her vision back to the 
ducks in the pond. A tear rolled down her face as she realized she 
wanted to give the same thing to her love. "But what if "happily ever 
after" is a lie for me too? Can l possibly be as strong as Mousse?" 
She could only hear the wind blow as her question went unanswered.

~The End

                    *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *
Author's Notes: This was probably one of the weirdest stories l have
ever written in form. l started with a beginning, inspiration struck on the
ending, so l wrote the end. l ended up working on the middle last. This 
fic is heavily inspired by one of my favorite (and my longest read) comics
ElfQuest. Takahashi owns Mousse, Shampoo, Akane, and Ranma. For 
those who are wondering who Shampoo married, it wasn't Ranma. l'm a
firm believer in the Ranma/Akane pair up. l'm also not guessing who she
marries. l only hope that it's not Mousse. He deserves better. BTW, my
hope is that should anyone with any suing power reads this, likes it
and won't sue me. ^_^ C&C, flames, and should you want to do one,
MSTing welcome. My apologies to those who like to correct grammer
and find alot of mistakes. lt's been a few years since l've been in an
English class. =^_^=

P.S. Can anyone finish the quote l started up top? l'm curious. ^_^

______________________________________________________
Kingdoms come and go. Just don't burn the paintings. ~Unknown

Anita Williams (NdokaSaotm@aol.com)