Yes, I'm back in Chicago. The three second summary of my trip - Prague is
beautiful, Cracow is scenic, Warsaw is ugly. Food is unimaginative. All
were cold. Now on to more important matters.
At 11:51 PM 4/4/98 -0500, P-R-P-Chan wrote:
Golden Z
Lesson 1:0
"Crossdressing"
By: P-R-P-Chan and Ranchan
"Study, study, study, study, study...."
Kintaro Oe, age: 25. He dropped out of Tokyo University but he only quit
after completing all of the required courses. Since then, he's held various
jobs and studies life. Studying is his hobby. In peak physical and mental
condition, he's extremely healthy. And someday, perhaps he may save not
only Japan, but also the world. This is his chance.
Yea!! A Golden Boy fic.
"Study, study, study, study, study...."
Kintaro had given up; at the speed he was going, with no brakes, it was
doubtful he would ever be able to stop. What had started out as a race at
impossible odds, hand ended up an astounding victory for him, as well as a
"odds, had ended up as an"
horrible defeat. Kintaro had won a night with one of the most beautiful
women he'd ever met, but his brakes had given out and now had no way of
claiming his prize.
Is he on his mountain bike?
Contemplating how the fates were against him, he didn't notice the
appearence of a turbaned stranger in front of him until a second too late.
Frantically, he tried to turn, but only succeeded in wresting himself from
his precarious perch. Flying through the air, he was prepared for the
"wresting himself from his precarious perch" doesn't sound right. His
perch was fine. He just couldn't stop his bike. And "wresting himself"
doesn't seem to describe the action appropriately, IMO.
worst, but had to settle for the best. The khaki skinned man reached out
and grabbed him by the shirt as he flew past, and winked out of existence,
taking Kintaro with him.
***
Kintaro gasped in confusion as he was deposited on the ground in front of
the Masaki house. Without a word of explanation his 'saviour' marched into
Try a comma after "explanation"
the house leaving him to deal with the bewildered stares of the two women
who's fight he'd disturbed. Not knowing what else to do, aside from
"whose fight"
catching a quick glimpse at the figures of the two, he followed the stranger
inside.
Entering the house, he found him in the kitchen, engaged in conversation
with a red haired little teenage girl.
Wouldn't Washuu-chan look preteen?
"We're going to have to give him some training.."
"Excuse me? Could you tell me what's going on?" Kintaro interjected.
"NO!" They both shouted, before Washuu continued on from where she was
cut off.
"By my calculations it should only take a few years.."
"We don't see why we can't train him."
"Were you able to beat Brolli?"
Piccobuu sighed as Washuu rammed her point home with an accusing finger.
"Fine.. first stop is..."
***
"...Tendo school of Anything-Goes Martial Arts." Piccobuu finished as they
appeared in at the front entrance to the dojo.
"What? What happened?"
"We're here..."
"And where is that? And why me?"
Before Kintaro could get his answer, the pair was greeted by a friendly
voice.
"Oh! Hello there.. Can I help you?"
"We're here to train.. if you could show us the master of the dojo.."
Piccobuu responded, something in her voice moved them to show more respect
than would be expected from those who knew them.
"Sure.. right this way.. would you like some tea?"
"Yes please.." Kintaro managed to answer through the haze that had taken
over his mind. He'd just met the most innocent of women, an angel in the
midts of hell; Her beauty was surpassed only by her kindness, well maybe not
"midst" Why would he describe his situation as "hell"? He was saved
from a bad, possibly fatal crash. Or is this just literary license?
her beauty. Her fine curves, prominent chest, firm and... NO! I musn't
think such things about such a pillar of divine beauty.. but how beautiful
she would look lying on her.... THWAP! Piccobuu had noticed the lecherous
grin on Kintaro's face, and quickly put an end to his fantasies.
You hit the proper tone for Kintaro. I've only seen the anime (is there a
manga?) but I think his thoughts would be as you describe.
"We're here to train.. If you think you'll get too distracted.. You'd be
just as much use to us as a eunuch.."
"Eunuch?" Kintaro's face blanched, but gathering some of his wits he
withdrew his notebook from the strap of his waistpouch.
"How educational."
Taking no care to hide his actions from the seething Piccobuu, he started
to write in it. 'This guy is scary.'
***
Akane and Nabiki sat at the table, awaiting supper, while Genma and Soun
played shogi on the porch. All where surprised when Kasumi led a khaki
"were surprised"
skinned, turbaned, alien and a young man into the room. She motions to them
No comma after "turbaned". "She motioned to them" - past tense
to sit and then leaves the two with her sisters as she went back to her
"and then left the two" - past tense
kitchen. The two girls watched the alien in awe, unable to tear their gaze
>from it. Piccobuu for his part just sat there impassively, he knew the
"Piccobu, for his part, just sat there impassively. He knew the ..."
person they'd come for was on his way. Kintaro was another story, his eyes
roamed between the two girls, studying their faces, but mostly their bosom.
"bosoms"
Both were leaning forward staring at his companion, so if he raised himself
just the right amount he could see into their shirts and make out... Kintaro
yelped in pain as the dark haired embedded a giant mallet in his head.
"ITE!"
"Serves you right, hentai!"
Kintaro just groaned in pain. His eyes were unfocused, until they were
drawn to the older ones crotch. Lying on the floor he could see under the
table, and watch as she shifted her legs, revealing some of her hidden
attributes through her tight shorts. When the dark haired one sat, he was
rewarded with yet another sight; since she was wearing a skirt, he had a
good view of her panties. Charged with excitement, Kintaro lay there
staring at the wonderful treasures of life, praying that this moment
wouldn't end.
"Ummm.. Akane? I think you may have hit him a bit too hard.. It doesn't
look like he's getting up."
"Serves the pervert right.."
"What makes him a pervert?"
"He was looking down my shirt!"
"It's only natural. Frankly I'm flattered; The only difference between a
"frankly, I'm flattered. The only difference ..."
dirty old man and a healthy young one are their age... And I much prefer
"ages"
being ogled by a young one, don't you agree Akane?"
"... a young one. Don't you agree, Akane?" Isn't Nabiki charging him
for the view?
At this point Happosai walked in. "Glad you see it my way Nabiki! Now how
bout me and you go somewhere private? I'm not as old as I look." Nabiki
just scoweled at him, giving him that 'With You?' look. Akane was about to
"scowled" Has Happosai ever tried to glomp Nabiki? I was under that
impression that Nabiki and Kasumi are considered off-limits.
answer Nabiki's question when Kintaro mumbled form his place on the floor,
"from his place"
"Polka dots." Suddenly he was no longer under the table, as it ended up on
top of him.
But he is still under the table. The proximity of the table has changed,
not its directional relationship to Kentaro.
"ITE!" Kintaro managed to get out before falling unconcious. His scream
brought Ranma into the house from the dojo, eager to find out who else had
managed to arouse Akane's anger. He stopped in shock when he was the khaki
when he saw the khaki"
skinned thing sitting at the table, ignoring the comatose strager next to
him, as well as Akane trying to beat Happosai as she recieved his affection.
"You old goat! Can't I leave you alone for five minutes?" Ranma casually
walked over and knocked Happosai off of his fiancee. The old master flew
across the room striking the silent man in the face.
"ENOUGH!" Piccobuu yelled, as he readjusted his turban, throwing Happosai
back at Ranma; Happosai knocking him down and the Ranma quickly chasing him
out of the room. Grabbing the younger pervert, he slapped him awake.
"Wha?" Kintaro started. He was quickly shut up by Piccobuu's glare.
"We are Piccobuu and this is Kintaro Oe.. We are here to learn the
Anything-Goes Style."
"Nani? Me? Why do I have to..." Before Kintaro could finish, Happosai ran
back in the room, Ranma following not far behind. Happosai stopped and
threw a bucket of water at Ranma, triggering his transformation. Happosai
happily glomped him.
"..have to.. learn how to crossdress?" Kintaro finished
"IT'S NOT CROSSDRESING!!"
"CROSSDRESSING"
"No, you'll be learning from him." Piccobuu answered as they pried Happosai
>from between Ranma's breasts.
Are you able to run your stuff through a spellchecker?
Overall, not a bad beginning. I look forward to seeing what you do with
it. Just remember that by comparison to Happosai or Kuno, Kintaro's ogling
would seem tame. He doesn't grope women and he actually wants to help them
with their problems.
Didn't someone start a Golden Boy/Ranma crossover? Who's the culprit and
what is the status?
dml