Okay, this is my first post to the FFML, so don't flame me if I do
something wrong, please...

I wrote this a coouple months ago, but haven't had anyone critique it.  I
know this one needs drastic help, so I would _love_ feedback...

-Saotome Laura
+++++++++++++++++++++++++


                                 Unrequited

   I am in love with Ranma Saotome.

   I realize that this hardly makes me unique. There are others--so many
   others--that love him, too. I don't know their reasons...perhaps they
   are the same as mine...perhaps they are different. Myself, I fell in
   love with him first for his fighting. He is the best fighter that I
   have ever known, and that is saying a lot. I fell in love with the way
   he moves with such grace, such speed and power. The way his body moves
   effortlessly, as though he doesn't even have to think about what he's
   doing. And I love the way he plays with his opponent...not the way
   that a cat plays with a mouse, but the way a kitten plays with his
   siblings.

   Then I fell in love with his personality. Sure, he's a loudmouth macho
   jerk sometimes--okay, a lot of times--but underneath the mask is a
   sweet, caring young man. Ranma makes enemies easily--things seem to
   just center around him for some reason, making hatred-filled rivals
through (usually) no fault of his own. Certainly I--but that can wait.
   The point is that, although Ranma probably doesn't enjoy having people
   trying to beat on him all the time, he never returns that hatred. He
   gets annoyed, certainly, but will jump to help anyone, whether friend
   or enemy, when they need him. He will stick up for them, help them,
   without a moment's thought, without any demands, without any reproach.
   I think...I think he considers even his rivals as friends.

   Unfortunately, I know that my love is, and will always be, one-sided.
   Ranma will never return my feelings. The problem isn't Ukyo. She is a
   pretty, smart girl, and has known him longer than any of us. I think
   that she's closer to him than any of us, as well. But despite that,
   she's only Ranma's friend, and will always be only Ranma's friend.

   The problem isn't Shampoo, either. Despite, or perhaps because of, her
   rather...friendly demeanor, Ranma will not choose her. She is
   beautiful, yes, but she has used too many tricks and magic spells for
   him to really trust her anymore, and trust is really the one necessary
   ingredient for love. Besides, I think that Ranma senses that a large
   part of what Shampoo claims to be 'love' is actually duty...duty to
  her laws, her tribe, her great-grandmother. Ranma doesn't want anyone
   to love him because they have to.

   Kodachi certainly isn't the obstacle. Frankly, I think she scares him
   more than anything else. Ranma doesn't seem to think poison to be an
   acceptable way of expressing love. Still, the poor boy is too afraid
   of hurting anyone, even her. He really does care about them all, which
   I guess is one of the reasons that I love him. He just doesn't seem to
   realize that delaying the inevitable is what really hurts all of us.

   I really don't think that...well, the obvious...is really a problem
   either. Many, including Ranma, would probably disagree, but hey, we
   all need a little self-delusion. I like to think that Ranma wouldn't
   really care, once he got used to the idea...but anyway. And amazingly,
   my temper is not the problem. How many times have I attacked him
   without reason, blamed him for things that couldn't possibly have been
   his fault, insulted him, teased him, chased him through the streets
   wielding heavy objects...true, he did deserve it sometimes, but not as
   often as I liked to think. Yet, despite all that I have done to him,
   he still likes me. He still sticks up for me. He still cares.

   No. What really keeps us apart is her. Akane. Not that I begrudge
   her--far from it. She really is a kind, sweet girl. She's beautiful,
   intellegent, caring. Sure, she might have a bit of a temper--kind of
   like someone else I know--and she does leap to conclusions a little
   too quickly. And yes, Ranma does insult her all the time. It really
   infuriates me the way he will open his mouth without thinking
   sometimes. But still...when they're together, and calm (which really
   happens more often then one would think) there's just something so
   special in the way that they look at each other, their words, the way
   their fingertips 'accidentally' brush against each other. Moments like
   those make me ashamed of trying to break them apart. Ranma loves
   Akane. And he will continue to love her for as long as I can imagine.

   It took me quite a while to realize that I loved Ranma. It was hard
   for me to accept that I even could. But I do, and I finally realized
   that denying it does me no good. Unfortunately, by the time I
   relented, I already knew the truth. The handsome boy with the pigtail
   and the dancing grey eyes would never, ever, be mine. I guess I can
   accept that...It will be harder for the others. They have the hope
   that I never had. When he denies them--as he will, someday--they will
   be hit hard. All I hope is that someday, I'll find another man who can
   compare to him. But in the meantime, I just hope that I can be a part
   of Ranma's life in a different way. I hope that he can consider Ryoga
   Hibiki a friend.

   ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
   ++

Author's Notes

   1) Obligatory 'This is my first so don't shoot me' note
   here...Obligatory 'All characters prop. of RT-sama so don't steal 'em'
   note here...Also, any lawyers reading this, please don't sue. I'm only
   a poor college kid, but I can get free counsel. ^_^

   2) Objections I'm sure will be raised:

   A) Obj: Eeeewwww!!!

   Ans: Get over it.

   B) Obj: Ryoga is not gay!

   Ans: Actually, I agree. However, this is my 'fic, and I'm allowed to
   take some liberties. So :P.

   C) Obj: This is rather inconsistent with Ryoga's behavior in the
   story.

   Ans: I wanted to address this in the story, but I couldn't without
   giving away the ending. Short answer is that people will go to great
   lengths to hide socially unacceptable feelings from themselves and
   others.

   3) Thanks to RT-sama, the Ranma ML mini-debate over this very topic,
   and the Church of Ryoga and Ranma-chan, even though I'm sure this isn't
   exactly what they had in mind...

   4) Comments and Criticism welcomed!  Begged for!  Please, critique me!
(MSTings especially welcome...)

   5) Yatta! I fininshed my first fanfic!