Azusa-chan
mimzy@ie.netcom.com
A Ranma / real life crossover =)

Here's number three!  Already!  I'm really on a roll here. =)
As usual, enjoy the flavourful mild cursing!  I got inspired to 
have this ending, and since I decided the ending I can't really
add to the middle cuz I lost the story.  Sorry!  Not that it was
good, right?  (I'm writing this before this is published.)
Ranma 1/2 is the property of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi.
All rights reserved.

   Keep an eye out for these...
	}...{ Authors notes
	|...| Translated at bottom
	:...: Character thinking

*****Reality is a Matter of Opinion*****

Part Three
In love much?

The first week passed as one might expect.  Kunou, seeing the
most recent transfer students, decided that they were deserving
of an excellent man of his prowess.  Then he learned where they
were staying.  "Under the same roof as the dreadful Saotome?!"
He kept trying to whisk them away, but Yume thrashed him a few
times so he decided she must just be shy.
   About two weeks after the strange girls that were certainly
*not* from Hokkaido appeared, Ryouga made his first appearance
in a while.
   "Oh!  P-chan!"
   Akane snuggled up with a very cute little black pig.
   Hana blinked.  "Uhm, Akane?  You *do* realize that's a pig,
right?"
   Ranma popped in, saving Hana a glare.  "Hey, I just talked to
Ucchan, }Note: Ucchan is Ukyou's nickname.{ and she said she had
room for a waitress.  But only for one.  So...I'm afraid one of
you is gunna have to work at the cafe Shanpuu works at."
   Yume and Hana exchange a look.  They both point at the other.
"Her," they said in unison.
   "Come on, she's not really that bad unless she thinks you're
her fiancee.  Ugh."  Ranma mimed gagging.  "But the old ghoul on
the other hand..."
   Yume and Hana start in a stare down.  :There just ain't no
*WAY*...:
   Ranma shifted, uncomfortable.  "Uh, look you guys.  I'll have
Ucchan and Shanpuu set up an interview.  They can fight over who
gets who."  They shrugged.
   "Works for me.  But I *know* that I'll get Ucchan's," Yume 
boasted.
   "You'll get stuck with Shanpuu faster than you can wash your
hair!" Hana said, and her and Yume broke out in giggles.  Akane
bit her lip on a smile.

Two days later, they were at the interview.  Ucchan and Shanpuu
were arguing over who got Hana while Yume silently fumed in a
corner.  Finally, Akane came forward and suggested drawing the
names out of a hat, after getting tired of watching them fight.
   "Okay," Ukyou agreed.  "But I want to pick out of the hat!"
   "Is okay with me, you no get Hana!  She look better working."
   Yume fumed some more.
   Akane scrawled the names on a piece of paper and tore it in
half.  She folded them and put them in a pan.  "Close you eyes,
Ukyou.  Then pull one out."
   Ukyou did as told and slowly unfolded the paper.  Her face
fell.  "I got Yume."
   Shanpuu jumped.  "Aiyaa!  Is lucky day!  Maybe Ranma take to
date!"  Shanpuu jumped on her bike and went out to pursue the
unlucky boy.
   "Not without me you don't!" Ukyou yelled running after her.
"Ranchan!"
   "Phew, at least Shanpuu isn't gunna be my boss," Yume sighed.
   "At least I'm wanted," Hana said.  They were getting good at
these staged little 'sisterly' fights.  She doubted anyone would
believe they were related if they got along too good.
   "Only because she doesn't know you can't cook!" }Note: Fact;
Ruth has burned boiling water!  Seriously, the pan is stained.
She's also set potatoes on fire by microwaving them 45 minutes
strait.{  Yume stuck her tongue out at Hana.  Hana stuck her
tongue out at Yume.  Yume bumped Hana's chin lightly and made
her bite her tongue.
   "Waah!  That hurts!" Hana said, eyes filling with oh-so-cute
fake tears.  "What'd you go and do *that* for?"
   Yume laughed.  "Wannabe!"

At the dinner table that night, Yume bragged about being able to
work at Ucchan's.  "I've always loved okinomiyaki!  I hear she's
the best okinomiyaki cook ever!  I asked her to teach me how to
cook it like she does, and she said sure."
   Hana looked over at Ranma.  "Thank you for getting us jobs.
I hope it wasn't too much trouble?"  Akane was as far away from
Ranma as possible.  She looked more angry then she had in a very
long time.
   "Eh, it's not too bad.  I have to go on a date with each of
them, but I've had to do worse."  Akane glared at him.
   "Like what?" Akane spat angrily.  "Know me?"
   "Nah.  Besides, you're cute when you wrinkle you nose up in
anger like that."
   Akane blinked.  He tossed a piece of rice at her and said,
"Gotcha."
   She glared at him.  "Die, Ranma," she said, her voice shaking
with fury.  But she didn't hit him cuz she was still busy eating
and didn't want to disturb their other guests.  "You can date
whoever you want for all I care.  You could disappear for all I
care."
   Hana, being a bit of an airhead on occasion, said, "Then why
are you so jealous?"  Akane face faults, but refuses to comment
on that,

After two days passed, it was evident that Shanpuu wanted to
trade waitresses, where Ukyou didn't.  "I was wrong," she
said.  "Yume is the better worker.  She can cook and the male
patrons like her."
   Shanpuu was pissed.  "That no fare!  Hana clumsy, she can no
cook, and she lazy!"  }Note: Ruth claims she isn't *that*
lazy...Uh huh, we believe you!{
   Hana looked at Shanpuu with tears in her eyes.  "I'm not
really that bad, am I?"
   Shanpuu hmphed! and looked away.
   Yume had an idea.  "Well, why don't we switch every week?  I
work at Ukyou's and Hana works at Shanpuu's.  Then next week I
work at Shanpuu's and Hana works at Ukyou's."
   Ukyou considers it a moment and shrugs.  "I guess."
   Yume smiled.  "Good for me, I can learn how to cook even more
things."
   Hana looked at Shanpuu pleadingly.  "Oh, please teach me how
to cook!"  Shanpuu raised one dainty eyebrow.  "I promise I'll
work harder!"
   "Okay.  You keep promise though, yes?"
   Hana jumped up and whooped.  "Finally gunna cook, finally
gunna cook!" she chanted.
   Shanpuu hit her forehead in exasperation.  "This from girl
who barely sweep!" }Note: Ruth admits to not being able to
sweep.  How is she ever gunna catch a husband?  Heh, j/k{

Ryouga finally appeared in his human form.  "Where is...Oh, I'm
here."
   "Huh?  Who are you?" asked Hana.
   "I'm Hibiki Ryouga.  What are you doing at the Tendou's?" he
asked Hana suspiciously.
   "I'm living here with my sister, Yume.  I'm Hana!" she added
brightly.  "Nice to meet you!"  :He's almost as good-looking as
Ranma,: she thought.  :I wonder if he's single...:
   "Don't even think about it," Yume whispered in Hana's ear,
sneaking up.  "He's totally in love with Akane-chan."  Hana's
face fell.
   "She gets all the guys," Hana muttered.
   "Come on in, Ryouga," Yume said.  "They've been expecting you
for...about a week."  Ryouga blinked.  "I'm Yume.  Nice to meet
you."  She grabbed his wrist and half dragged him in.  She
didn't trust him not to get lost trying to follow her.
   :I'm getting good at this whole 'I don't know you' thing.  I
thought it would be more difficult to pretend I don't recognize
these people I have watched every day for so long,: Yume thought
proudly.
   "Kasumi-chan!" Yume called out.  "Set another place at the
table!  Ryouga-san's here!"
   "Okay, thank you, Yume!" Kasumi called out.

That night Ryouga sat at the table and ate with them.  Hana kept
staring at him, and it was odd how she didn't seem to notice
Ranma anymore.  :Jeez,: Yume thought.  :One day, she's all gaga
over Ranma, and now she's drooling over the lost boy.  Even
though I explained him to her!:  She recalled the conversation.

   "Okay, about Ryouga...He's the little black pig.  He has
   negative sense of direction.  And, as I already mentioned,
   he's got it bad for Akane."  Yume sighed.  "A sad case."
      "Oh.  Wow!  I have pretty bad direction too!  But I can
   read a map so...We'd be perfect together!"
      "Hana?  What are you thinking?!  He turns into walking
   bacon strips when splashed with cold water!  Who knows what
   his offspring will be like!  You've got to be kidding?"  Yume
   was nearly hyperventilating.  "Well," she said after a pause
   to catch her breath.  "He *can* cook...Maybe he'd be good for
   you..."  Hana wacked her over the top of the head.

:Kids,: Yume thought and sighed.  She was beginning to get
restless.  Normally, she'd probably enjoy all this, but...:I
miss him...:  Yume face faulted.  Good thing she was alone.  "Oh
no!  I left behind a loose tie!  I'm in love!  And...lonely..."
   "Yume?"  Akane knocked on the door to the bath.  "May I join
you?"
   Yume blushed.  :I hope she didn't hear me.:  "Sure, c'mon in,
Akane."  Akane entered, followed by Ranma-chan
   The newcomers rinsed off then sat in the bath with Yume.
"Hana talks in her sleep, Yume.  Miriam."  Yu...Miriam face
faulted. 
   "Wha...?"
   "I know the truth.  Why did you lie?"  Akane looked sad.
   "I didn't think it was a big deal, but I thought you'd be
scared or shocked.  I think I'll be going back soon though..."
She sighed.  "I left behind the boy that I am in love with.  But
I think that Ha...Ruth is happier here.  She's learning how to
cook, she's in love with Ryouga now...And I think I caught him
scoping her out, too."
   "So you're leaving?" Ranma-chan asked.
   "Yeah, I think so."  Miriam sighed.  "Sorry.  I didn't mean
anything by the lie."
   Akane gave her a hug.  "Follow your heart," she whispered.
Ranma-chan waved and Miriam bowed and waved.
   Miriam started to fade.

Two weeks later, Miriam woke up in a hospital bed with *him* by
her side.  "I...I thought..."
   "You're awake!  Oh, I was so worried, Miriam...I..."
   "I came back for you."
   He blinked.  "Huh?"
   "I love you."

Two weeks later, Miriam went back to visit Ruth.  As it turned
out, her and Ryouga were having a joint marriage with Ranma and
Akane.  Miriam was invited.
   So Miriam spent time with Ruth and then went home after
telling Ruth about her own wedding plans.
   "Aren't you a little young?" Ruth had asked.
   "Aren't you?"  Ruth shrugged.  "My parents gave me permission
because they thought I had tried to run away and kill myself.
They're doing everything they can to keep me happy now."

Miriam and her love were married the next day.  He thought he
saw Ranma in the back.  "Hey, isn't that...?"  Before he could
finish his thought, Miriam frantically sealed his mouth with a
kiss, as she had seen Ranma as well.  What he doesn't know won't
hurt him, right?

Miriam sometimes still went back to visit Ruth.  Lauren went
with her sometimes, and even Mike joined them once.  Ruth gave
birth to Ryouga's twins, who turn into cute black piglets when
splashed with cold water.  Very tragic story.
   Akane and Ranma have yet to have any children.  They don't
fight as often anymore, and the dojou is picking up.  Ruth is
taking lessons, and Miriam gets a few pointers whenever she
drops by.

*The end!*

Author's Notes:
Well, that was an interesting romp into the mind of a girl with
not much to do, eh?  Actually, this entire story, all three
parts, took me a total of three days to write.  I guess I'm as
satisfied with it as I'll ever be.  I'm never satisfied with my
work. =)  Well, let me know what you think and if I should try
to write more stories.  Sayonara, and thank you for taking the
time to sit through my story!