Azusa-chan
mimzy@ie.netcom.com
A Ranma / real life crossover =)

Okay, I'm back with part two, though I don't know why.  What did
everyone think of part one?  If you missed it and the place where
you got this one doesn't have it, e-mail me and I'll send it to
you.  Same as last, there is some mild cursing.  I doubt there
will be one without some!  From this point on, I'll stick mostly
to the character's pseudo names unless they're just talking to
eachother.  And sisters won't be with quotation marks anymore cuz
I'm sick of the extra typing. =)  Ranma 1/2 is the property of
the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi.  All rights reserved.

   Keep an eye out for these:
	}...{ Authors notes
	|...| Translated at bottom
	:...: Character thinking

*****Reality is a Matter of Opinion*****
Part Two
Wanna be Friends?

"I'm Akane.  Wanna be friends?"
   Hana couldn't bite her tongue.  "Does that mean we have to put
up with getting hit by mallets?"
   Yume gritted her teeth and elbowed Hana.  "*Hana*!" she
hissed.  "We're guests!  Apologize!"
   Hana sighed.  "|Gomen|."
   Akane laughed nervously.  "Uh, that's okay.  Where are you two
staying?"
   Yume looked a little uncomfortable.  "Here.  We already talked
to Mr. Tendou and he said it was okay as long as we pay our way,
as he already had multiple 'freeloading houseguests.'"
   Ranma, who was now recovered, began to fidget.
   "Well," he said.  "I know two people that own restaurants.
They might take you on as waitresses as a favour to me."
   Akane looked at him.  "Try Ukyou's first.  You don't want to
ask Shanpuu for a favour unless it's a last resort."
   Ranma winced.  "Yeah."
   Hana blinked.  "You're afraid of something you wash your hair
with?"  }Note: I'm kind of making Hana out to be an airhead at
this part.  In real r/l, she knows about Ranma, but for the sake
of this story, I'm making it so that she doesn't.  She also, in
real r/l, describes herself as a smart airhead.  Suuuure Ruth!{
   "No...It's...Kinda a long story."  Ranma made a face.  He was
saved by a fragrance wafting in on the breeze.  "Ah!" he 
exclaimed.  "Dinner!"
   He dashed towards the house without a glance back.  Akane just
shrugged.  "C'mon, have you met Kasumi yet?"  The sisters shook
their heads.  "Let's go.  I'll introduce you.  She's really nice
and a good cook."  :Unlike myself,: Akane thought wistfully.

At dinner, everyone got introduced.  No one was saying much.  The
silence was awkward.
   "So, where are you two from?" asked Akane, trying to bring the
table to life.
   "Uhhh..."
   Everyone blinked.
   "Don't you know?" asked Nabiki skeptically.  Her yen-sensitive
nose was tickling with the sent of 'I think I can make something
off a secret here.'
   Hana opened her mouth.  Yume elbowed her.  "A little area in
Hokkaido.  You probably haven't heard of it."
   "Oh?" Nabiki said.  "Try me."
   Ranma, who was sitting to the left of Yume, whispered to her,
"Watch her carefully.  If she gets anything on you, she will
charge you everything you've got to keep your secrets."
   "Moi?" Nabiki said innocently.
   "Yeah, you," Ranma said, and continued eating.

That night, Kasumi pulled out two old futon's for Yume and Hana.
"Here you go, now you two go get some rest," she said, adding
some blankets onto the pile in their arms.
   "Arigatou," Yume said.  "I could really use the rest!"
   "Oh, by the way, I took the liberty of enrolling you two in
school.  Is that okay?  I put you both in the same grade
since there was no room in the tenth grade.  I hope you learn
fast," Kasumi said to Hana with a smile.
   Hana sensed her moment for payback.  "Oh, of course!  I'm a
much faster learner than Yume!  I'm smarter than her, too!  And
cuter, and..."
   Out the side of her mouth, Yume hissed, "One more word, and 
it's curtain’s for you, pal."
   Hana paled and looked up at a very angry Yume.  "Eh, sorry."
   "Thank you again, Kasumi.  She's lying, you know," Yume added
as an afterthought.
   "Oh my!  Just like sisters!"  Kasumi giggled.

The next morning, Yume was rudely awaked by a foot planted neatly
in her stomach.  She let out a shriek.
   "Oh!  I'm sorry!  I forgot you two were here!  Oh, well, it's
time to get up for school anyway."
   Yume opened her eyes to see Akane standing over her, looking
slightly worried.
   "Are you...okay?"
   "Yeah," Yume grunted.  "I'm just not a morning person."
   She rolled over gracelessly, her arms flopping out.  One hit a
snoring Hana right in the face.
   "Ow!" Hana yelled.  "Hey, that *hurt* Yume!"
   :Oops,: Yume thought.  :Forgot she was here.:
   "Gomen."

Akane let them both borrow one of her school uniforms.  The chest
on it was too tight, and the waist was too baggy, but they knew
better than to complain.  They walked to school with Nabiki cuz
Ranma and Akane were fighting and they didn't want to get in the
way.
   Yume and Hana were trying to pretend Nabiki wasn't there.
Yume didn't like how sharp the girl seemed.  She could blow their
cover.  And if she didn't, and if what Ranma had said was true,
it would cost them.  Nabiki was talking about what Furinkan High
was like, and offering to give them the grand tour for 'a small
fee.'

Meanwhile, Ranma and Akane *were* having an argument.  Akane said
that Ranma thought the two girls were cute, and he just told
Akane that she was jealous.
   "*Jealous*?  Over a pervert like you?"  Akane scoffed.  "The
only reason you brought them to stay with my family is because
you think they're cute!"
   "They are cute, but..."
   *WHAM*, say hello to Miss Mallet Happy.
   "...that's...not...why."
   "Sure."  :Stupid pervert,: Akane thought.
   :Violent tomboy,: Ranma thought.

Ranma and Akane got there before Nabiki, Yume, and Hana, as they
were running the whole way.  When the three other girls got
there, they saw Akane and a girl with hair the colour of bright
flame arguing.
   "I *told* you to slow down!  Look at me now!  You stupid,
uncute..."
   *WHAM!*
   "Jeez," Hana said.  "I thought she only treated her fiancee
like that!"
   Nabiki half face faults.  "Uh, I think Ranma and Akane have
some explaining to do...You see, that red head over there *IS*
her fiancee."
   Hana's eyes got wide.  "You mean she has leanings for...?"
Hana gulped.  }Note: What I mean by that 'leanings' comment, is
Hana thinks that Nabiki is implying that Akane is a lesbian.{
   Nabiki looked at her sideways, than remembered that she had
slept in Akane's room.  "No, it's a curse that Ranma has.  He
turns into a girl.  I suppose maybe they were trying to keep it
from you, but oh well.  And Mr. Saotome turns into a panda.  We
know a few other unfortunate victims of that particular Chinese
curse, but none of them are here."  Nabiki took a breath.  "I
could introduce you to them for a small fee of course..."
   Yume smiled but assured Nabiki that wouldn't be necessary.
She approached Akane and Ranma, Hana in tow, and told them class
was about to start.
   "Oh!" Akane said.  "I almost forgot about you two."  She
looked over at Ranma-chan and said, "And this is..."
   "Ranma-chan, we know," Yume said.  "Nabiki told us."  Aside to
Hana, she hissed, "Close your mouth and stop gawking.  It's rude
to stare."  But Hana was quite shocked by Ranma's...change.
   "Uhm, how..." Hana began, but Yume elbowed her and she shut up
just as the warning bell rang.

"We have two new students today," Hinako-sensei said.  "Their
names are Kawaii Yume and Kawaii Hana.  They're sisters.  Now, on
to today’s lesson..."
   "By the way," Ranma whispered over to the girls.  "Be careful
never to get in a fight if she's around.  She how...er...womanly
she is at the moment?  Well she only gets that way when she sucks
up someone’s battle aura.  Apparently she caught someone today
already.  But normally she looks like a *very* young girl."  He
smiled at them as if to say, 'It's okay,' and sat up to avoid
getting caught.
   Yume and Hana looked at eachother.  "You never warned me about
all this," Hana growled.
   "Later," Yume said, then tried to look very interested in
whatever Hinako-sensei was saying.

Akane asked the girls if they would like to have lunch with her,
but the politely declined, saying they needed to talk privately.
   "What the hell is going on here!?" asked Ruth.  "You never
warned me about all this!  Boy's turning into girls, teachers
with magical powers, girls pulling mallets out of nowhere and
implanting them in their fiancee's face.  And him surviving!  As
I said, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!"
   Miriam sighed.  "A lot.  It should get more interesting.  We
are friends, Ruth.  Don't let the...craziness get in the way of
that.  Like sisters, right?"
   Ruth gave up.  "Could you just warn me now and then about when
something weird is gunna happen?  I'd just like to know..."
   "WHATA HAUL!  WHATA HAUL!!"  A grizzled up, bald, dwarfish
thing came flying by.  "HOTCHA!  Sweet thing!  Are you two new?"
He promptly buried his face in Yume's luscious bosom.
   "YOU.....DIRTY OLD MAN!  Duck, Hana!"  Yume forcefully ripped
the lecher off and kicked him, high and hard.  "Well, I guess
kicking people for fun back home wasn't a wasted passtime."  Yume
winked.  }Note: Yes, I do kick, heh.{  
   "Yume!  Hana!!  Are you two okay?"  Akane was running towards
them, and Ranma-kun was with her.
   "Where did that damn little lecher go!  I'll boot his ass into
orbit!  Where..."  He noticed the way that Yume was blushing and
that Hana was looked sarcastic.  "Wha...?"
   "He latched on to Yume-chan's chest," Hana said bluntly.  "She
gave him a nice foot to the ass and he flew.  Hope he won't be
back," Hana muttered.
   Ranma and Akane exchanged a look.  "Well," Akane said.  "There
is something you should know about him.  You cannot tell ANYONE.
He is the guy who trained our fathers and the founder of the
Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts.  As a hobby, he steals
woman's underthings.  He's a powerful martial artist and..."  She
took a breath and said in a rush, "Heliveswithourfamily."
   Hana looked pissed.  "He...what...?"
   "The old perv lives at the dojou.  You can't tell anyone, cuz
he's wanted for panty theft."  Ranma looked grim.  "And Yume, how
did you manage to kick him anyway?"
   Yume blushed a little.  "Where I came from, I kicked people a
lot.  It's...kinda a hobby.  I just unhooked him from my chest
and kicked."
   Ranma started laughing.  "I wonder what he's gunna think!  He
was just beaten by a *girl*!"  Akane whopped him over the head
with her bag.  "A cute, non-tomboy girl to boot!  Hah!"  Akane
pulled out her mallet and swung it so hard it got embedded in a
tree.  Yume and Hana managed to pull Ranma out of the way just in
time.
   "Forgive me?" Yume whispered to Hana.
   Hana smiled.  "Sure...sis."


Authors notes:
I love typing that. =)  Anyway.

Translations: (All Japanese unless specified otherwise.)
|Gomen| - Sorry

I just began to realize partway through this one that Hana is
beginning to sound somewhat like Skuld from Oh! My Goddess.  I've
been trying to make this at least somewhat funny, and I would
just like to know if I am failing miserably or what. =)  The
reason I named my character Yume is because I used to write out
stories about my dreams, and Yume seemed an appropriate alias
to use for that.  I felt like stopping this one here just cuz I'm
too tired to write, as it's about 5:30am here.  Feel free to 
write and tell me what you think.