Hey, we're inventing a new genre of fanfiction. This ain't a lemon, lime, or
 even a hint of citrus. It's an avocado, and it's completely different than
 almost anything else that's been done. Read and you'll sort of see why.

	Comments and Criticism of any kind greatly appreciated. Flames, too (our
 carpet is flame-retardant)! Send C&C, Flames, or what have you to the FFML, to
 me personally, or also to my partner in crime over at <raphael@asu.edu>.

	So without further ado, here goes...!


Sam & Raph's New Carpet!


Cast:             
"Mommy" Ghibli
Haruko
(Fujiko, Kushana, Gina)

             
"Starry" Ghibli
Hitomi
(Clarisse, Nausica�, Fio)

       
"Cheery" Ghibli
Kimiko
(Shizuku, San)

             
"Cutie" Ghibli
Jojo
(Kiki, Satsuke, Sheeta)

 
"Baby" Ghibli
Erika
(Mei)


(for an illustrated version, please refer to
 <http://www.public.asu.edu/~raphael/carpet.html>)
-----

(Scene: a studio of sorts, with two sets of chairs on each side facing each
 other at an angle. Our dutiful hosts sit stage right. Five individuals sit
 across from them in the following order, from right to left: 1) a pleasant
 woman who appears to be in her early forties; 2) a pretty young lady just at
 the teen-twenty border, hands neatly folded in her lap; 3) a high school aged
 girl, slouching slightly in her chair; 4) a cute girl of about junior high
 age, eagerly leaning forward; and 5) a young girl of about four or five
 years.)

Raph: Heyo, and welcome to our second installment of our column!

Sam: And boy do we have a special treat for you today!

Raph: Yessiree! They're charming, they're congenial, they've captured the
 hearts of anime fans all over the world, and they're here with us today for a
 special interview! Here they are -- the Ghibli Girls!

Ghibli Girls: (general enthusiastic cheering and such) Yay! Whoopee! Ghibli
 Power!

Sam: The Ghibli Girls are famous for their work in a good number of the most
 popular films in Japan! Let me welcome "Mommy" Ghibli, "Starry" Ghibli,
 "Cheery" Ghibli, "Cutie" Ghibli, and "Baby" Ghibli to our, um...column!

Starry: (polite bow) Thank you very much for having us here.

Cutie: Yeah, we�ve never really been interviewed before!

Raph: It's our pleasure, believe me. Now, let me get this straight. You gals
 are all one family?

Mommy: (proudly) Yes, we are. These four young ladies are my precious
 daughters.

Cutie: And the rest of us are sisters! Cool, huh?

Sam: Ahhh... I thought I noticed a family resemblance in all your films.
 Please, for our readers who might not know about you, tell us about
 yourselves.

Cheery: (raises one eyebrow) Everything?

Raph: Well, not _everything_. You know...what films you've starred in...

Sam: ...Yeah, and, like...are those your real names?

Mommy: Oh, no, those are just the nicknames our fans have given us. The press
 refers to me as "Mommy" Ghibli, but my real name is Haruko.

Raph: What about "Ghibli?"

Mommy: (laughs) Well, let's see... I haven't really done too much recently in
 terms of film. I got my earliest start as Fujiko in the Lupin films, and it
 went on from there. 

Raph: You also did Princess Kushana in "Nausica�," right?

Mommy: Yes, that's right. And I played the role of Gina in "Porco Rosso" as
 well. I'll let my daughters introduce themselves, though. Hitomi�?

Starry: Me? Okay, well... They call me �Starry� Ghibli, but my real name is
 Hitomi. Most of the films I've done were with my mother. I played Nausica�, of
 course--

Cheery: (dryly) Of course.

Starry: (ignoring her younger sister) -- and Fio in "Porco Rosso." Oh, and I
 also got to play Clarisse in �Castle of Cagliostro� and a couple of cameos in
 the Lupin TV series. Your turn.

Cheery: We�re going in age order, huh? Me, well, I'm really Kimiko, even
 though everyone else calls me "Cheery" (sardonic grin). My first role was
 Shizuku in "Whisper of the Heart," and just recently (smug look) I landed the
 part of San in "Princess Mononoke."

Sam: Oooh, that was you? Cooool.

Raph: Yeah, you're so different in that role!

Cheery: (even more smug) Yeah, I was good, wasn't I? 

Starry: (with a touch of annoyance) Let�s let the _others_ talk, hm? (ignores
 a dirty look from Cheery)

Cutie: (oblivious to any of this) Okay, it's my turn! My name's Jojo, but
 everyone else calls me "Cutie!" (giggles) I was Kiki in "Kiki's Delivery
 Service," and Sheeta in "Laputa," and Satsuke in "My Neighbor Totoro"! Sugoi,
 ne? Okay, go ahead, Erika!

(Baby shies away)

Sam: (helpfully) And you must be...

Mommy: Come on, Erika, tell the nice columnists your name.

Baby: (a bit cowed from all the attention) ...Erika...

Mommy: You'll have to excuse little Erika; she's a bit shy around new people.
 (soothing) Won't you tell Mister Sam and Mister Raph (Sam and Raph exchange
 looks) what movie you starred in?

Baby: (a bit shyly) ...I did Mei...in "Totoro"...

Raph: Wow, you were good in that!

Baby: (smiles) ...Thanks, Mister Raph. You're really nice.

Raph: (to Sam, smugly) Hear that? She said I was really nice!

Sam: (indignant) Hey, what about me?

Raph: Well, that's certainly an impressive array of movies you've all done!
 How'd you all get started in acting, anyway?

Mommy: A lot of good luck, actually. Miyazaki-sensei was a good friend of my
 father's. They've known each other since high school, and kept in touch after
 graduation. He was very supportive of my acting ambition, even when my father
 was against it.

Sam: What do you mean, your dad wasn't supportive?

Mommy: Well, he had always thought acting was a bit...impractical, you might
 say. But when I went away to college, I continued to participate in the drama
 organizations on campus, and actually graduated with a theatrical arts degree,
 not Japanese literature like I had originally planned. (mirthfully) Of course,
 after the first weekend of "Cagliostro," Father decided that my choice of
 vocation was a good one after all.

(in the background, Sam begins to make funny faces at Baby, who pointedly
 ignores him)

Raph: Wow! Were you successful right away in getting roles?

Mommy: No, not at all, in fact. Acting is a terribly difficult profession to
 break into, you know. Of course, I married soon after I graduated, and my
 husband was able to support us while I was able to land a minor role here, a
 commercial there. But between my inexperience and taking care of my daughters,
 I had trouble finding opportunities to make any big breaks...

Raph: Yeah, you were the voice-over in that Sapporo Ichiban Instant Ramen
 commercial! I remember you in that!

Sam: (aside to Raph, having given up on getting Baby�s attention) You're
 really pathetic, you know that?

Mommy: (beams) You've really done your homework, haven't you? 

Raph: Oh, yes! I'm a really big fan of yours!

Sam: (mutters) _Really_ pathetic.

Mommy: So one day, Miyazaki-sensei approached me, hearing about my difficulty,
 and told me he had a role in his new movie that he thought I would be perfect
 for. I had never done someone like Fujiko before, but I thought, why not? The
 Lupin TV series turned out to be a huge success, and that's how my acting
 career began! (wistfully) Ah, it seems like only yesterday�

Raph: And what about the girls?

Mommy: Well, Hitomi was fourteen at the time, and convinced Miyazaki-sensei to
 let her play in his next big movie. I was a bit reluctant at first, but when
 Miyazaki-sensei assured me that I could be with her on the set at all times, I
 gave in. Hitomi turned out to be a splendid Clarisse--

Cheery: --as always --

Mommy: --and along with the success of �Nausica�,� that pretty much opened the
 door for all my daughters. 

Sam: Speaking about your daughters, let's ask them a few questions, could we? 

Mommy: (looks at her watch) Actually, that would be perfect. I'm terribly
 sorry, but I have to go and take Erika to her dentist's appointment. I'll be
 back to pick up the girls later. Is that okay?

Raph: Sure, no problem.

Mommy: (to the girls) Now, I don�t want you girls to give our hosts any
 trouble.

Cutie: (before Starry or Cheery can say anything) We�ll be good!

Mommy: Say good-bye, Erika.

Erika: (waves) Bai-bai, Mister Sam and Mister Raph! (Mommy leaves with Baby in
 tow)

Sam: Seeya... Now, where were we...oh yes. Could you tell us what your
 favorite roles were?

Cutie: I liked Kiki, because she's just like me! And besides, my name's Jojo,
 so it fits, right? And I liked being Sheeta, too� she was so pretty with her
 braids� and Satsuke was fun, too� Actually, I liked them all! (giggles)

Sam: (puzzled) ...Oh, okay�

Starry: I'd have to say that I liked Nausica� the best. Her strength and
 determination are a real inspiration. And she's an environmentalist, something
 that I've always been. (Cheery rolls her eyes)

Cheery: I had fun playing San in �Princess Mononoke.� 

Raph: Really?

Cheery: Oh, yeah. Shizuku was all right, but come on, what kind of real girl
 would swoon and sigh like a sick calf over a stupid violin guy? San, she's a
 real 90's kind of girl. Heck, half the movie she's slicing 'em up as well as
 the next guy.

Sam: Wow, my type of woman! (receives an odd look from Raph)

Cheery: (grins) You think so? San was the kind of role I always wanted to
 play. Of course, all the good stuff usually went to Hitomi, cause she was the
 oldest--

Starry: (protesting) That's not true, Kimiko! You're just being jealous again!

Cutie: (whispers aside to Raph) There they go again. Ever since Kimiko got San
 instead of Hitomi, they�ve never missed a chance to pick on each other.

Raph: (whispers) Oh, is _that_ what�s been going on?

Cheery: (still arguing) Whatever . _You_ were the one that wanted to do San so
 bad, remember?

Raph: (trying to change the subject) So...uh...how's about some hobbies and
 interests? Besides acting, of course.

Starry: (ignoring Cheery sticking her tongue out) Well, I'm about to start my
 freshman year in college at Tokyo University.

Raph: Cool! Studying what? Aviation? Aerospace engineering? You've always, ah,
 been the high-flyer in all your films, what with Nausica� and Fio... Always
 aiming for the stars, right?

Cheery: (laughing) Are you kidding? Hitomi gets airsick just _looking_ at an
 airplane! She _hates_ flying! Not only that, but she�s scared of heights, too!

Raph: (obviously surprised at this new bit of information) Huh? You mean to
 say that you�re�

Sam: (laughs) Ha ha ha, that's really funny! (receives an elbow from his
 partner) Ow!

Cheery: You shoulda seen her after her first day on the set of �Nausica�.� She
 looked positively _green_!

Cutie: Yeah, she had to lie down the rest of the day. I thought she was
 _never_ going to get better.

Cheery: And when she did �Porco Rosso,� it got even _worse_. (smirks) Thank
 goodness for Dramamine, huh?

Starry: (beet red) So I�m a little phobic. So what? (manages to compose
 herself) Anyway, I'm thinking about a major in marine biology. The ocean life
 is so beautiful...and I've always wanted to work at a place where I can hear
 the sea.

Raph: That�s cool. And what about you, Cheery?

Cheery: I'm the active type, myself. Sports are my thing, all kinds. I'm
 captain of the softball team at my high school, and the star of my track team
 as well. I'm also pushing to get them to start a girls' judo team over there,
 too.

Sam: Judo??

Cheery: Oh, yeah. I�m pretty good, too. (sly grin) Wanna try me?

Sam: (bigsweats) And...how about you, Cutie?

Cutie: Well... I'm not really like my other sisters, really. I watch over
 Erika a lot, but I like to read, too! Hitomi takes me to the library a lot so
 I can check out books while she studies. I like to daydream sometimes, too...

Starry: You daydream in class too much, that's what your teachers say.

Cheery: Yeah, what was that the teach said once? �Jojo should have a great
 future in meteorology, she spends so much time with her head in the clouds.�
 Heh, at least I never had a teacher say _that_ to me.

Cutie: (indignant) Hey, I can't help it! I wanna write stories like Miyazaki-
 sensei when I grow up, and you've got to have a good imagination to write good
 stories, right? (pause) Sometimes I get my best ideas when Kimiko goes
 training in the park and I get to come along. Right there, lying there on a
 hill, imagination flying high in the sky...like the clouds, like the wind...

Raph: Hey, do you ever go see your own movies in the theater? 

Cutie: Sometimes. Mom lets us go when she doesn�t think there's gonna be too
 many people there. 

Starry: We're kind of celebrities, you know, and it can get pretty crazy if
 we're not careful when we're in public. 

Cheery: It�s loads of fun, though; once when we went to "Mononoke," we had to
 go to a 4 am showing! It was great; we had the big ol' tub of popcorn, and we
 were laughing, and yelling, going, "Hey, that's me, guys!"

Starry: (a bit embarrassed) Kimiko was so loud that the ushers actually threw
 us out.

Cheery: Oh, and who was throwing popcorn at the tall guy blocking our view,
 huh?

Starry: (flushes) Well� Still, it was embarrassing. To be thrown out of your
 own movie?

Cutie: (giggles) But do you remember the look on the manager's face when he
 realized who we were? 

(gales of hysterical laughter from all three of the girls)

Cheery: Oh, that was classic. He looked like he was gonna _die_!

Cutie: (gasping for breath) His mouth kept opening and closing like a fish out
 of water! Whew!

Starry: (wiping tears of laughter from her eyes) The manager called our house
 the day after to apologize profusely, being afraid that we�d boycott or sue or
 something like that. (sobers a bit) Mom scolded us for being rude, telling us
 that we shouldn�t take advantage of being famous. We couldn�t go out for a
 week after that.

Cheery: (grins) It was worth it, though!

Sam: Okay, last question, and the one all our readers are dying to know.
 So...any boyfriends??

Cutie: (shy smile) No, not yet. My mom says I'm still too young. She says I
 should at least wait until I get out of junior high.

Cheery: (smirks) Nah, not me...although you _might_ wanna ask Hitomi over
 here.

Raph: Starry, is this true? Has "Starry Ghibli" found someone �special?�

Sam: Yeah, tell us, tell us!

Starry: (blushes deeply) No, not a _boyfriend_. We're just _friends_ right
 now.

Raph: "Right now?"

Cheery: You should see her around him. Man, it's like watching myself in
 "Whisper" all over again! (falsetto) �Oh, Takashi-kun�!�

Cutie: (chiding) Oh, be nice. I like him, and he's _cute_, too!

Raph: So who is it? C'mon, we're all friends here, right?

Starry: (somehow blushes even deeper) ...Well... His name is Takashi
 Shizumaru...

Sam: No kidding! The guy who plays Ranma Saotome??

Raph: What's he like? In real life, I mean.

Cheery: He doesn't know martial arts, if that's what you're wondering. Heck, I
 could probably take him to the mat five times out of six, and he�s a lot
 stronger than me, too.

Sam: (incredulously) No martial arts??

Starry: No, he does his own stunts, but that's because of his ballet training.

Sam & Raph: BALLET?!?

Starry: He's a really great actor, and he's nothing like his character in
 "Ranma." He writes the sweetest poetry...

(Raph�s eyes go really wide. Sam silently mouths, �Poetry??� in horror)

Cheery: It's kind of sick, really. I mean, he's a _guy_. The other guys say
 that he never joins them when they go out to the court for some hoop, or
 anything. He�s always holed up at home, reading and junk when he�s not
 practicing his ballet�

Cutie: (defending Starry) _I_ like his poetry. 

Raph: Remember, folks, you heard it here first!

(Sam silently mouths �Poetry??� once more)

(door opens, Mommy and Baby enter) 

Baby: (joyfully) No cavities!

Mommy: Have you girls been behaving for our interviewers?

Ghibli Girls: (in unison) Yes, Mom.

Sam: Actually, we were just about to wrap this interview up...

Cutie: Hey, Kimiko actually wrote a song about us, and it's really cool! You
 guys wanna hear us sing it?

Cheery: (somewhat bashfully) Well, it's just a side hobby, you know... it's
 nothing really great...

Raph: (remembering "Concrete Road") Yeah, let's hear it! 

Sam: Yeah, sure, why not?

Cutie: Great! (runs over to a nearby stereo system and pushes "Play". A
 raucous, driving beat begins to throb through the speakers)

Raph: Nani??

(the Ghibli Girls all arrange themselves into a line, dancing to the beat)

"Who We Are"
	A Ghibli Girls song
	[sung to the tune of "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls]
	(note: for maximum effect, go ahead and pop in your roommate's Spice Girls CD
 and listen along!)

Cheery:     Yo I'll tell you who we are, who we really really are,
Cutie:      So tell us who we are, who we really really are,
Cheery:     I'll tell you who we are, who we really really are, 
Cutie:      So tell us who we are, who we really really are,
Cheery:     We're really, we're really, we're really, we're really,
            We�re really super-charming animated Ghi-bli stars!

(verse)
Mommy:      Everybody loves us, �cause we�re so nice
            Animated cuties with� just a touch of spice!
Starry:     When we�ve got troubles, they never sta-ay
            Sunny personalities will save the day!

Cheery:     I'll tell you who we are, who we really really are, 
Starry:     So tell us who we are, who we really really are,
Cheery:     We're really, we're really, we're really, we're really, 
            We're really super-charming animated Ghi-bli stars!

(chorus)
Everyone:   Animation done by Ghibli, so we all can be your friends
            All the world so pretty; the fun just never ends
            Stories are by Miyazaki; fuzzy, warm, and sweet
            Nothing�s ever rocky, cause sugar can't be beat!

(general music and rhythm vamp)

-----
(general cheering and whooping by the Ghibli Girls)

Cheery: So, what do you think?

Cutie: (cutely) Yeah, did you like it?

Sam: (with thinly disguised horror) That was...really something.

Raph: (sharing Sam's horror) Yeah, something. Um, I guess that's all the time
 we have.

Sam: Yeah, all the time we have. (Sam and Raph head to the door) Um, bye!

Raph: Yeah, bye! (door opens, Sam and Raph exit quickly)

Ghibli Girls: (waving and assorted good-byes) Bai-bai! Sayonara! Ja ne!

Mommy: (directed at the door) Thank you for taking the time to� hm? Oh, my.

Starry: What an odd pair of individuals.

Cutie: They seemed nice enough, though.

Cheery: Yeah, that Sam guy was all right.

Baby: (waving at the door) Bai bai, Mister Sam and Mister Raph!

(outside)

(Sam and Raph hurry away from the studio)

Sam: (shivers) Uuuuuhhhhhh.

Raph: Yeah, who'd of thunk it? Brrrrr...

Sam: Well, that's it for this time. Join us next issue when we go shopping for
 a used mecha!

Raph: Until next time!



And for now, the carpet is still new!



Authors' Notes:

The original idea for this column came from a fusion of several
   differing ideas from both of us. Raph wanted to do a column discussing
   the Miyazaki girl in general. In discussion of points we could bring
   up, Sam pointed out that there was a rather _strong_ resemblance
   between the various heroines of Ghibli movies; he even went so far as
   to say that they were all the same girl, just at different ages. Raph
   argued that, no, they didn't look _completely_ alike, but they could
   all be family related or something. The Spice Girls angle...well, we
   really don't know where _that_ came from. But it works, doesn't it?

Incidentally, severe otaku of Ghibli lore will probably notice that if
   the actual timeline of the movie releases were to be plotted out, it
   wouldn't match the timescale outlined in this interview. Well, tough.
   Yes, we _know_ that "Nausicaa" was Miyazaki's first major theatrical
   release, but Clarisse in "Cagliostro" looked so much younger than
   Nausicaa, and so we tweaked times around, compressed here, stretched
   there... It's the spirit of the interview that's important, we think.

Hope you enjoyed it! (or at least read it)