On Thu, 26 Mar 1998, Lara Bartram wrote:

    The grounds were neat, well-trimmed, as they should be, but
there was an eeriness to their passivity.  Like it wasn't really life,
but a painting, and if he stayed there too long, he would became a
part of that painting.

Very nice.

    As soon as the name of Kuno Tatewaki was made known to be in the
political race, nothing could stop him.  It was more than a landslide.
The ease with which he had won...  It hadn't mattered that he had
decided, with the help of his group of advisors, especially one
Gosunkugi Kyoofu, to try for political office only four months ago.
    He was too popular, too beloved to be denied.
    And then he was too powerful to be denied.
    While he was powerful, his advisors were powerful.  And his most
trusted, most intelligent, most resourceful advisor shared quite 
healthily in that power.  More so than he should have.

I think you need to work on the scene before this where Gosunkugi Kyoofu
wiggles his way into Kunou's confidence. I wasn't convinced that Kunou
would let anyone connected toa known sorceror just walk in and get close
to him.  It needs a longer set up.



John Walter Biles :  MA-History, Ph.D Wannabe at U. Kansas         
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu       
rhea@tass.org              http://www.tass.org/~rhea/falcon.html
rhea@maison-otaku.net      http://www.maison-otaku.net/~rhea/


         "You're the only one I've met who can talk to us, although I've
heard stories of another one in the land full of big green plants
that two-legs use to light fires inside their heads."
--Scruffy Wolf, Parallel Lives 5