Ranma 1/2 is owned by Rumiko Takahashi

My First Date
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By: Anand Rao 

Hi guys.  Now, as the title of this little story implies, I had a date.  My
first date to be exact.  Not impressed?  Well, considering I'm a homely
24-year-old guy who has trouble even -talking- to a girl, it was quite a
feat.  Of course, it was a blind date, and the whole thing was setup by an,
uh, 'acquaintance'.  (Under the circumstances, I can't really call her a
friend.)    

Friends have warned me about blind dates, but I decided to go for it.
Truth be told, I was getting kind of desperate.  Up until this date, my
social life had two weekly highlights.  One, I played GURPS on Friday
nights and got drunk on Seven and Seven.  Two, every Sunday afternoon I
joined the FFIRC discussion group.  (Sorry, TJ, I missed the last three
meetings)  Don't get me wrong, these activities are a lot of fun, and I get
all kinds of ideas for writing fanfiction from them, but I still yearn for
female companionship on occasion.  

So, how did things get started?  Well, last Saturday morning, I awoke with
this incredibly painful pounding in my head.  As hangovers went, this one
was pretty bad, or so I thought.  I blearily opened my eyes and found
myself staring at an adorably angry girl, about sixteen years of age.  She
had short black hair and was hefting a large mallet against her right
shoulder.  

"Uh... Hello?" I asked lamely.  

"Anand no baka!  Are you going to sleep away the entire afternoon?  Hurry
up and get dressed!"  The girl demanded.

I glanced at the clock sitting on my desk and immediately gave up the idea
that I was still drunk.  It had been at least ten hours since my last
drink.  "It's only 11:30," I observed crawling back under the covers.  I
abuse myself pretty bad on Friday nights, so I try not to wake up until
lunch or dinner on Saturday.  It was too early in the day to deal with a
troublesome female.   I wasn't quite that desperate. . . yet.

"Baka! Do you want me to hit you again?" the girl threatened. 

"Again?" I asked weakly, looking up at her from under the covers.

"I'll do whatever it takes to get you out of bed," she replied, waving the
mallet at me.  

"Okay," I said fearfully, hoping that she would put the mallet away.  

There's something you have to understand about me.  I'm a coward, pure and
simple.  As a friend of mine once said, 'I fear no pain; except the kind
that hurts.'  That mallet looked like it could cause a -lot- of hurt.  

"Well?  Hurry up and get dressed!" the girl demanded.

"Uh, who are you?" I thought to ask.

"You write all those stories about me, giving me such a bad reputation, and
you don't even know who I am?" she asked, once more lifting the mallet over
my head.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!  I'm no good with names and faces!  Maybe we-  Wait
a minute... Stories?   What stories?" I asked.

"Your pitiful attempts at fanfiction, baka!  I'm Akane!" she explained.

"Akane?" I asked.

"Akane," she confirmed.

"Tendo?"  I asked.

"Tendo.  The same Akane Tendo you killed in 'For Sake of the Children'.
The same Akane Tendo you described as a psychopathic goddess in 'For the
Love of a Mortal'. The same-"

"Uh, 'Akane'. . .  What are you doing here?" I asked, hoping my voice was
calm.  (Great.  A deranged otaku has broken into my house!  And she's
female!  What are the odds?)  

"A friend of mine needs a date tonight.  You're it," she said.

"You know, Anime Expo isn't for another three months, but I have to admit,
you did a great job on your costume," I commented.  

 "This isn't a joke!  And I'm NOT CRAZY!" Akane screamed.

"J-J-Just calm down.  Okay, so you're really, uh, Akane.  Um, What did you
want, again?"  I asked.  I didn't believe her, of course, but I -did- want
her to keep that mallet away from me.  

"Weren't you listening?  Honestly, you're just as bad as Ranma.  You're
going on a date," she repeated.

"A date?"  I asked, fearful yet again, but strangely excited at the same time.

"Yes.  Get dressed, we need to go soon," Akane said.

(I'm being kidnapped,)  I thought.  "This, uh, isn't with Nabiki, is it?" I
asked jokingly.

"Please. You don't earn enough to get Nabiki's interest," Akane replied
scornfully.

(Ouch.  That one hurt.)  Salary is a rather sensitive subject for me.  All
my friends earn more than I do.  I'm happy for them of course, but I'm not
above admitting that I'm also a bit jealous at times.  

"Who's my date, then?" I asked, trying to ease past the discussion of
salaries.  

"You'll see.  Now, go get cleaned up.  I'll wait for you in the living
room," Akane replied, walking out of the bedroom.  

"Great.  Zen puts her in a mental institution and she comes to me," I mused
miserably.  Strange as it may seem, I was starting to believe her.  Maybe I
-was- that desperate.  

At any rate, I brushed my teeth, shaved, took a long, hot shower and got
dressed.  I decided to wear a pair of off-white dockers and a large blue
denim shirt.  I really like that shirt, it does a decent job of hiding my
considerably over-sized gut.  I walked into the living room feeling better
than I had in months.  Imagine, going out on an actual date!  

"So?  Do I look okay?" I asked Akane as I entered my living room.

"You look fine.  Let's go," she said abruptly, looking none too impressed.

What did I expect?  She -is- engaged to a handsome, super-strong martial
artist, after all.    I locked up the house, turned on the security system,
(you meet all kinds of strange people in California), and walked Akane to
my car.  

"When was the last time you washed this thing?" Akane asked, looking at my,
uh, 'dusty' light-blue Thunderbird.  

"Hey!  It rained last Tuesday.  I figured that would be enough," I replied
defensively.  I'm not much of a car freak.  My T-Bird is paid off and it
takes me where I want to go; good enough for me.  

"Never mind.  Let's get going," Akane replied, stepping into the passenger
seat.  

I got into the car, put on a pair of sunglasses that were in the glove
compartment, and started the car.  "So, where are we going?"  I asked.  

"We're going to a restaurant you know quite well; we're going to Frisco's,"
Akane replied sweetly.  

"Hey!  How did you know that I like to eat there?"  I asked, bewildered and
pleasantly surprised.  Frisco's is a 1950's diner-type restaurant.  All the
waitresses travel around on roller skates and wear -really- short skirts.
Oh, the food's not that bad either.  

"You know everything about me.  It's only fair that I know something about
you," Akane pointed out.  

"I guess," I replied, understanding her logic, if not her methods of
finding out about these things.  I backed the car out of the driveway and
headed out towards Frisco's.  Akane, meanwhile, started sifting through the
small CD collection located in the car. 

"You have our Calendar CD?" she asked, a small grin growing on her face. 

"Yeah, it was one of the first CDs that I bought from the series,
actually," I replied.

"Which song do you like the best?" she asked.

"Uh, yours, of course!  That 'baka baka baka' song is kinda cute," I
replied.  Truth be told, it -was- my favorite song on the CD, but even if
it wasn't, I would have lied.  One time out of ten, I can tell when a woman
is fishing for a compliment; I got lucky on this one.  Akane's grin grew
and she nodded, acknowledging the compliment.  "I really have to thank you
for this, Akane.  I haven't been on a date in a while," I said gratefully.
Delusional or not, I was starting to get into this.  

"What do you mean, 'a while'?  You haven't -ever- been on a date," Akane said.

"Uh, right," I mumbled.  (Damn.  Can't fault her research.)  

After a few more minutes, I pulled into the Frisco's parking lot.  That was
another reason I liked to eat here; it was really close to home.  "Great,
we're here," Akane said as I parked the car.  She reclined her seat back
and closed her eyes.  "Get going, I'll wait for you in here," she said.

"You're not coming in with me?"  I asked, becoming more than a bit nervous.

"It wouldn't be much of a date if all -three- of us were there," Akane
replied.

"Yeah, but, aren't you going to at least introduce us?" I protested.

"Don't worry, your date knows what you look like," Akane assured me.

"But- but- how am I going to recognize her?  I mean, I know pretty much
every one from your series, but still-"

"Oh! That's right!  You never read all the manga, did you?  You never read
the parts where my cooking improved, or the parts where Ranma and I got
closer together," Akane said.

"Uh, I guess I might have missed some of those things," I admitted sheepishly.

"Right.  Well, don't worry about it, your date is waiting."

"Can you at least tell me her name?" I pleaded.

"Konatsu.  Go on, I'm sure the two of you will have a wonderful time,"
Akane replied, a cold smile appearing on her face.

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The End

I guess I should have added some scenes from the 'date' itself, but I
really didn't want to dwell on that too much.  
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