Hi Dave,

No time just now for detailed C&C but I did want to point out one nit that I
picked up on when I read this the first time.  Heh heh. I suppose I want to
prove to myself that I was truely paying attention.  Anyway:

    Ranma jumped to the safety of the top of the
school wall and watched, a little disappointed, as
Akane dispatched her opponents with efficiency and
dispatch.  He reflected that while she might not be
top-notch against a skilled opponent, she was

I think two "dispatch"'s is too many in this paragraph, unless it's been
preapproved by the Department of Redundancy Department.  Still I'm sure your
literary license is all payed up and current so you won't have to worry
about the fiction police... in case you don't want to change it.

BTW, applying to nothing at all, did you hear about the dyslexic devil
worshipper? It seems he accidently sold his soul to SANTA.  Do you suppose
that's where all the elves and helpers come from?

Best,

Bob Barnes
rbarnes@moscow.com
Moscow, Idaho

When opportunity comes, the trick is to CATCH the red hat.