Heya people. Zyvernia here. I've got another fanfic here based from FF7
(well, it's gonna be a series......hope you enjoy this one) Don't
worry...."Crossover" is still being worked on.
Final Fantasy is a property of Square Soft.
Cid: Damn Straight!!
The Pointless Mis-Adventures of Final Fantasy VII
Episode 1: "Cloud's Strife"
Cloud: Wait, this isn't what I signed up for!! Where's my agent?
By Zyvernia (aeris-gainsborough@juno.com)
Aeris: I think he's obsessed with me :)
Setting: In 7th Heaven Cloud walks in and sees Aeris sitting by herself
Cloud: Hey Aeris, what's going on?
Aeris: Nothing much Cloud. Say, you doing anything important now?
Cloud: No. Why do you ask?
Aeris: I was wondering if you want to go out on a date with me?
Cloud: A d..d...date?
Aeris: Yeah. You're payment for being my bodyguard ^_-
Cloud: Well...umm....Sure.....
Aeris: Well....it's settled then....Tuesday nigth then, okay?
Aeris leaves and Tifa, working in the kitchen, comes out to greet Cloud.
Tifa: Hey Cloud
Cloud: Hi Tifa
Tifa:<turns red> You....busy Tuesday night?
Cloud: Umm...actually--
Tifa: GREAT!! We'll meet here then!!
Tifa exits joyously.
Cloud: Great......
Cid and Vincent enter the scene
Vincent: Hello Cloud
Cid: What's going on? Where's the TV? Isn't the Dukes of Hazard on?
Cloud: Hey guys...I'm in a pickle.
Vincent: How so?
Cloud: Well.....Aeris and I are going out this Tuesday...and..well
Vincent: And how is that a problem?
Cloud: Well...Tifa is suppose to be going out with me too that night.
Cid: Well...You're not even in a relationship yet and already you're
&$^*# it up!
Cloud: That's not what I meant...
Vincent: You should just go with Aeris....she's a kind young girl
Cid: The hell with that! He should go with Tifa....
Cloud: I don't know...I like both of them.....
Just then, Yuffie enters the bar
Yuffie: What's this? Cloud is going after Aeris AND Tifa! You cheating
dog!! I'll have your head!!
Cloud: Wait just a second Yuffie!!!
Yuffie: LIMIT BREAK!! (Swings arms wildly) Greased Lightning!!
Singers: Grease Lightning, grease grease lightning!!
Yuffie: What the HELL was that??
Cid: Reject singers from "Grease"
Yuffie:<pauses for a second> well, I still think you're a Don Cornero in
the making
Cloud: You've got it all wrong...I'm trying to think of a way out of it.
Yuffie: Hmph. Well, I'm not helping you with this one.
Rude and Reno pop in unnoticed.
Rude: You're two-timing Tifa?!?! I should teach you a lesson.
Reno: Relax Rude, we're not here to kill anyone...we're here to get
drunk, remember?
Rude: Yeah...
Reno: <whispers to Cloud> Don't piss Rude off....or he'll bite you're
head off....
Cloud: But I wasn't trying to piss off anyone!
Aeris comes back into 7th Heaven.
Aeris: Anyone seen my flowers?
Yuffie: No, but you know what? Cloud is gonna try to date you and Tifa
on the same night!
Aeris: <fuming mad> WHAT WAS THAT????
Cid: Great, now you've done it you little *&^*^.
Yuffie: What did you call me, you over-egotisitical foul mouthed showoff
piot wannabe?
Cid: Wannabe?!? I'm no wannabe! I'm the f*&#@* badass pilot Cid
Highwind--
Yuffie: Yeah...Cid High"Bag of"wind
Cid: You little b*^#&
Vincent: Let's not start a fight
Barret: Goddammit!! I'm trying to get some peace and quiet and all this
commotion is going on.
Yuffie: Blame it on Cloud, after all, he started it!
Cloud: Wait just a second!!!!
Aeris: YOU'VE....GOT.....ALOT.....OF......NERVE......CLOUD
Cloud: It's a misunderstanding, Aeris, really.
Aeris: Misunderstanding??? Well misunderstand this!! <Pulls out the
Shiva Materia>
Tifa: Okay, just what in the hell is going on here?
Reno: Cid is pissed, Yuffie is blabbing, Cloud and Aeris are fighting and
Rude and I are trying to get drunk. Does that explain everything??
Tifa: What started this?
Aeris: You can't have Cloud! He's mine!
Tifa: Hold on just a minute, flower maid. Cloud is mine. He's my
lifelong friend.
Cid, Vincent, Reno, Rude: <chanting> Catfight Catfight Catfight
Cloud: Can't we talk this over????
Tifa and
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Aeris: NO!!!
Yuffie: Well, you know Cloud, this is YOUR fault.
Cloud: How in the hell is this MY fault!! If I remember correctly, this
is YOUR doing!!
Yuffie: Gee, look at the time....I must be getting home <escapes the
clutches of Cloud>
Tifa and Aeris exchange growling looks. Lightning bolts shoot out of
their eyes.
Cloud: Alright you two, break it up. If I go with both of you, will you
two stop fighting.
Tifa and Aeris: Sure!!! <Aeris locks arms with Cloud from the left, while
Tifa locks arms from the right>
Vincent: Another happy ending, so it seems.
Cid: Damn..I wanted to see a good fight....now where's that damn TV,
isn't the Dukes of Hazard on?
Reno: Interesting, don't you say?
Rude:......
End of Episode 1
Cait Sith: Hey!! I wasn't in it! What's up with that??
Elena and Tseng: We wasn't in it either.
Rufus: Nor was I. And I'm the president of Shinra. Nothing happens
without me!
I hope you liked it! In the next episode:
Cloud: Not another fight over me!!
Aeris and Tifa: HE'S MINE!!!!
Cid: Better than an episode of the Dukes of Hazard
Cait Sith: The next episode is "Love Hurts Like A Limit Break" Seeya
there!
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Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]