RIGHT.
Now that I have all this lunacy with this system sorted, I can repost
this and wait for better C&C.
Thankyou.
Enjoy (If at all possible).
Warning-first fanfic!
Note: All speech between*and* is in Chinese.
I hold no claim to the characters involved, and Ms. Takahashi can sue me
for
every penny I own. (Believe me, it's not worth it.)
-------------------------
Loyalty Rewarded
a fanfic by
Matthew Copeland-Harrison (Sorry, no pseudonym yet.)
-------------------------
Part 1
A quiet day dawned on Nerima. For once, since the arrival of the Saotome
clan
and all its attendant problems, there were no martial artists in LEO, no
explosions or otherwise untoward events that normally screwed up the
lives of
the residents- even the residents were confident that Kasumi would not
be
visiting Doctor Tofu, and could have their aches and pains treated in
non-lethal manners.
It was also quiet at the Nekohanten. Mousse, the Myopic Martial
Artist-cum-lodger-cum-waiter was enjoying a rare lie-in. He reached out
of his
bed to the table, and picked up his glasses. <*Mmm...*> he thought, as
he saw
the time.<*7:45. Ill get up at eight.*> He took his glasses off, and
placed
them back on the table. In his glass of water. Oblivious to this, he
curled
back up under his blankets.<*Shampoo can wait a little longer...*>
The clock turned to eight, and mousse pulled himself out of bed.
Affixing his glasses to his face, he opened the lowest of his drawers
and
pulled out a pair of puce boxers <*Odd... I dont remember having a pair
that
colour.*> He pulled them on. The next few minutes were a vague blur, of
a black
shirt hed never seen before, and a tasteful tunic in broad red-and-green
stripes (which he was sure wasnt his). He shaved, and turned to the door
as he
heard his beloved Shampoo open it. He heard her say
"Wake up you dumb duck!"
Mousse was awoken from his dream by the rude and unwanted attentions of
a bucket of cold water. "QUACK!" he yelled indignantly. Shampoo dropped
the
bucket she was holding and went over to the bedraggled duck that was
staring at
her from the blankets.
"You know what time is? 10:45!" She barked this sobering
information at
him as he struggled out of his blankets. He quacked furiously at her for
the
rude awakening. She took no notice; he was in no state to get himself
ready at
the minute, so she was digging clothes out for him. Although an expert
in
several Martial Arts, Neat and Tidy were just words to him.
"Mousse... where your boxers?"
If a duck could blush, Mousse would have been beetroot red. With
more
furious quacking, he flapped to her shoulder and indicated the necessary
drawer. As she opened the drawer, he ducked in, and pulled out a pair.
Shampoo
turned a funny colour as she saw them- she looked almost seasick, Mousse
decided. *Are you colour-blind, Mousse?* she asked. At this Mousse
seethed.
Sea-green with royal blue spots was perfect! They were good, basic
colours!
Hed had enough. He'd have to get her back, somehow.
He flew back to his bed, and Shampoo fussed a little more.<*What
are
you, my mother?!*> he thought. As she bent over to pick up his socks
from the
previous night, Mousse saw his chance.
"AIYA! Itetetetete!" Shampoo danced around the room, clutching
her
backside where Mousse had pinched her. Or rather, bitten her. (Pecked,
maybe? I
do know that ducks have a painful bite when they want to.) Mousse flew
straight
out of the skylight, feeling a bit guilty.
Meanwhile, an extremely furious and horribly embarrassed Shampoo found
some of
Mousse's shuriken, and started throwing them at him. Mousse dodged them,
and
decided it might be a good idea to pay a visit on Ranma.
In the Tendo household, Ranma had finished his mornings
training. He
had, as he had been for the past few weeks, been sparring with Akane.
Things
had just been getting better and better since his chat in the tunnel
with Akane
(see the excellent fanfic "The Masks We Must Wear"), and he was relaxing
while
reading a copy of the Book of Five Rings. In the bath. Yes, he thought,
as he
turned the page, Life was good. For some reason, he could hear a duck
quacking
frantically in the background...
Mousse felt a sudden pain in his rear. He heard Shampoo yell the
Chinese equivalent of "Gotcha!" as he realised that the last shuriken
had
removed his tailfeathers. Now an extremely proficient flyer, he realised
that
he had no control whatsoever over his altitude- it was getting less
every
second. He could, however, steer...
Ranma half-heard the quacking getting louder...
Mousse could see the window to the bathroom was open, and that
there
was someone in the bath. Quacking a warning, he aimed himself through
the
window into the water...
Ranma looked up as he saw a frantic Mousse-duck plummet through
the
window, slightly dripping blood, and slamming into the water beside him.
The resultant splash from his impact and subsequent change
caused a
large part of the Tendo's ground floor to be soaked. The miniature
tsunami, in
fact, caused several things to happen:-
Ryouga was forced to streak to shelter and clothing as he
changed
suddenly at Akane's feet.
Akane, bowled over and drenched, yelled her usual "Ranma no
BAKA!!!"
Genma reverted back to human form again.
The Shogi table was knocked over.
Soun added six more tiles to the washed-up pile that had come
off the
table.
Finally, a very wide-eyed Ranma, still clutching an extremely
wet book
(the Water book?) stared at the rather embarrassed Mousse. For once, he
was
lost for words. Mousse spat out a small piece of powder-blue cloth.
Ranma let
the queries of what the hell Mousse thought he was doing and what was
that
doing there flit though his mind before Mousse spoke. "Gomen nasai,
Ranma. I
have just had an argument with Shampoo." Mousse proceeded to tell a
bemused and
then amused Ranma the story of what had happened that morning. As Ranma
laughed, Mousse realised just how sore he was; the bathwater was
becoming
vaguely pink as well. "Um... Could I have a hand? I seem to be
bleeding."
Thus it came to be that Mousse was in the most embarrassing
position of
his life: naked, and bent over a table as Kasumi cleaned and dressed the
rather
messy wound at the base of his spine. <If only,> he thought, <If only I
hadn't
left my clothes behind.> Ranma (male form), came in with some spare
clothes of
his, giggling, in a manner that suited his girl form a lot better, at
the
ludicrous sight. Nabiki, grinning broadly, took a series of photos of
this
extremely compromising situation. Although it made him look only more
ridiculous, Mousse glared at Nabiki, knowing that he would be buying
negatives
and photos for a long time. This act simply caused Nabiki to leave the
room and
have hysterics outside. Mousse, trying not to blush, took the clothes
from
Ranma, and quickly dressed and left. He had an idea, and decided to pay
a call
on Ukyou.
As normal, Ukyou was cooking for the many customers she always
had.
"Ohayo, Mousse."
"Ohayo. Could you by any chance do me a favour?"
"Birdseed okinomiyaki?"
"Be serious. I have a scheme to get Shampoo for myself. It needs
your
help, though."
Ukyou sidled along to a quieter section of the counter. She was
intrigued, to
say the least. "Oh- kay... what exactly does this involve?"
"I require you to keep up the masquerade of being my lover for a couple
of weeks." Mousse caught a reflection in the tiles behind Ukyou.
"Starting now!"
He reached over with both hands, pulled her over, and kissed her
roughly. The
reason for this was simple. Shampoo had caught sight of Mousse in
Ucchans' and
was storming over with the apparent intention of preparing Pate de foie
Gras
(duck variant) that very afternoon. Ukyou's response was a surprised and
indignant "MMMPH!" and a brief struggle, saw Shampoo at the door, and
decided
that it would be best to go along with it. Shampoo threw open the door,
looked
for Mousse, and opened her mouth to say
"..." Rather stunned, she turned around, and walked back to the
Nekohanten in a
daze.
Cologne thought something was wrong when Shampoo entered. She
simply
flopped down in a chair, and put her face in her hands. *What is it,
Shampoo?*
*That dumb duck is kissing Ukyou,* said Shampoo, flatly. Her
voice
betrayed nothing.
*I thought you hated him?* Cologne's interest was stung by her
reaction.
She decided it was best to feel her way through this conversation. She
really
only wanted Shampoo's happiness. A happy leader is a good leader, and
Shampoo
was going to be the leader of the Amazons at some point.
*I do! I hate that dumb duck! He pinched my backside this
morning- and
he has no taste in clothes!* She stormed off. Cologne mused on this.
There was
a section unsaid. From the discomfort Shampoo was having, it must have
been
quite a pinch. More of a bite. <A peck? The way she treats him, I'm not
surprised he finally snapped.>
In Ucchans', Mousse and Ukyou were talking. "Mousse, if this is
going to
work, you're going to have to learn to kiss. I suppose that was your
first kiss*
"Hai." This was addressed to a hot water urn on Ukyou's right.
"I was
really saving that for Shampoo..." He trailed off, with a dreamy look
in his
eyes.
Ukyou sighed, took hold of his chin, and turned him to face her.
"Look.
If this is going to work, this has got to be done right. Go back, get
changed-
you _don't_ suit Ranchan's style at _all_- And come back here for seven.
We'll *
and see a movie. And you'll stay here tonight. In fact, you'll stay here
about
three days a week."
Mousse shut his jaw after this pronouncment. "Why...?"
"Simple. You get Shampoo, I get a better crack at Ranchan."
Obvious, really. Mousse mulled over the benefits. "Where will I
sleep?"
"Sofa. No, I tell a lie, there's a spare futon. Now, weve got to
think *
some _other_ details..."
Mousse returned to the Nekohanten, and quickly got changed.
Shampoo, as
normal, ignored him, but it was a wistful, sad, embarrassed distancing,
rather
than the flaming, furious ignorance that she normally held.
******
Shampoo slept badly that night, tossing and turning. For one of
the few
occasions that she dreamed, it was a nightmare.
Shampoo was alone, in a cold, black desert. She couldn't light a
fire to
keep warm. She called for help, and none came. In a brief burst of
childishness, she called for her dead mother; only the wind responded,
mocking
her. She called for Cologne, and then saw a glow in the distance. She
walked
for what seemed like hours, and eventually came to a yurt, made of blue-
and-
white Chinese silk. The fire was inside. She went in, but couldnt, out
of good
manners, warm herself without the owners permission. There was a small
area
curtained off, and so she looked behind it. There was Mousse, and Ukyou.
Making
love.
She couldn't face this, and so ran out of the yurt, tears
streaking her
face. She stood in the freezing night, pulling herself together. She
decided to
go back in, but found that the yurt was gone. She walked for a while
longer, in
the bitter cold, not looking where she went. She came across some
traders, and
tried to buy a tent. She hadn't the money. She tried to buy a stove and
food,
but couldn't afford it. In fact, the less she asked for, the less she
had.
Eventually the traders packed up, and as they left, she realised they
were
Ranma and Akane.
Shampoo was of no use to anyone the next day. She couldn't
cook, or
concentrate on anything. She had the horrible feeling that the dream was
trying
to tell her something, and that she knew exactly what it was. She kept
going
back to it.
Mousse arrived back at ten that morning... from Ucchans'. He
warned
Cologne that he would be out that night as well, and paused to drop an
empty
packet of Durex into the bin. He and Ukyou were made for each other, as
he put
it. That caused Shampoo to bolt from the kitchen. Mousse allowed himself
a
small smile at that.It showed him that his plan was working.
Three days later, Shampoo was worse than ever. Cologne, for once
in her
life, was seriously worried. She had told her to go and do something-
*practice,
meditate, go for a run- just _pull_yourself_together_*. She knew that
Ranma and
Akane were getting married- they trusted her enough to act as a witness
at
their small, private ceremony- a registry office job. Mousse and Ukyou
were
always together, now. It was time for her to do something. She had an
inkling
that Mousse and Ukyou were putting it on, but she couldn't be sure.
Mousse was
the only real choice for Shampoo, now.
Meanwhile, Ukyou was learning the Hidden Weapons Technique from
Mousse.
He had to admit, she was a pretty good pupil. "Like this?"
"Hai." Ukyou had already hidden her throwing spatulas in her
clothing,
and, even by patting her down, Mousse couldn't find one of them.
"You know," she said, "I think we're being a bit cruel to
Shampoo."
"I see how she is, but she'll come round soon." <She has to,> he added
mentally. <It breaks my heart to do this to her. I can't keep it up much
longer.
Oh well...> "Now, hide these." He handed her a pair of Sai.
"Come on!" She couldn't see how she could fit those
fourteen-inch dagge*
within her jacket.
"No, I'm serious. You know how much stuff I carry. Think
Schro�dinger."
"Eh?!"
"The only way to tell if it's there is to actually get it out.
If it
makes no impact on the world around it, and it cannot be detected in any
way,
then the chances are it isn't there. I don't know what's in my robes,
entirely.
Things are just to hand."
"I don't follow. Quantum mechanics aren't my field."
"Just try it, OK?"
Ukyou slid the Sai into he clothes. With a little fumbling, she
managed
to fit them in somewhere. She didn't know how she was doing it, but she
couldn't
feel them, really, but she realised that they would be there when she
needed
them. "Now jump up and down." She did so, and couldn't hear anything.
Nor could
Mousse. Mousse passed over a few more items: a grapnel and chain,
shuriken, a
mace, throwing arrows, and finally an axe. "This seems a bit much to
me."
"You know how much I carry. These are the things I find I use
the most."
The axe disappeared with a little difficulty. <Time for a test> thought
Mousse,
as he patted her down (again) and found nothing (again). "Axe!" he
yelled, and *
was in her hands. "Shuriken!" and two shuriken fell into her hands,
before being
embedded in a wall nearby. Then disaster struck. "Claws!" Ukyou flicked
her
wrists, to release the mechanism. The claws snapped forwards, snagging a
couple
of weapons, whick snagged a few more... the end result was that a
horrified
Mousse leapt out of the way of a hail of shuriken, spatulas and arrows
which
impaled the sign just outside the door.The mace flew into the Gents,
through
the door; this also took with it the grapnel (which shattered a window),
the
sai (which skewered the tea urn), the axe (which split a table), and,
finally,
Ukyou's clothes. She was left standing there in sandals, panties and
claws, in a
classic combat pose, unable to think properly at that point.
Mousse, shaken, got up. "Thats never happened to me before," he
managed
to say, as he handed the shredded clothes to Ukyou. She regained some of
her
coherence at that point, and sprinted upstairs, clutching her hands to
her chest.
Mousse still stood there, his glasses fogged up, still holding out the
clothes.
<...> he thought, vaguely contemplating the sight. From upstairs there
was a shout.
"Mousse!"
"Hai?"
"How do you get these damn things off? Get up here you dumb
duck!" Mousse
slowly climbed the stairs, and stopped outside her door. There were
three large
gouges in it. "Are you decent?"
"Yes! Now get in here and help me!"
******
Back in the Nekohanten, Cologne had closed up for the day. She
had also
dug out an old spellbook, which she knew would be able to solve this
problem.
Arranging the necessary things around her, she knelt down to draw a
large chalk
circle on the floor.
At Ucchan's, the phone rang. Mousse answered it. "Moshi-moshi?"
This went
straight across the banana he was speaking into.
Back in the Nekohanten, Cologne was starting an incantation.
Ukyou had packed a suitcase. The phone (which she had answered,
at the
same time as Mousse was trying to communicate via bananacom (TM) (a
subdivision of
the Orangutan network)) had been the relay for a message from her
father: an aunt
of hers was seriously ill, and she should come at once. Mousse had
sorted out
her claws, and she had decided to stick with this technique; she would
build up
her arsenal at the rate of one weapon a day until she was at a level of
Mousse's
encumbrance (if not skill, and she severely doubted she would achieve
that).
Besides, one weapon a day should avoid any more serious accidents like
the one
before. She was going to keep the claws, as she quite liked them. They
would
also come in handy for other things- like preparing Okinomiyaki. But
right now,
she was on her way to the train station. After a brief kiss goodbye
(they had
to keep up the pretence) she left Mousse to clear up the mess they had
made.
Cologne finished the incantation, and was rewarded by seeing the jampan
in front of her seethe and boil. In there, she saw a face form, and
slowly rise
up.
*What is your command?* The words were not so much said as
relayed
straight to her mind.
*I wish you to deal with my great-granddaughter-* She didn't get
a
chance to say any more.
*Done!* grinned the demon, and vanished. From Shampoo's room,
there was
a brief, horrified scream, cut short. Cologne, terrified at what she
might see,
sprinted up the stairs, and stared. Little details jumped out at her.
The picture of Ranma she treasured, bloodstained
Shampoo's favourite teddybear, gutted
Her bonburi, smashed
Her bed, torn
Her picture of her mother, burnt
A picture of Mousse, miraculously intact
Cologne went to examine this last item. It was old, from about
'85.
Shampoo and Mousse had gone to a photo booth and got a set taken. One of
each
of them, and two of the both of them together. <Why would she keep
this?>
Cologne needed to think. The Saotomes and Tendous were out of
town;
Ryouga couldn't find his way out of his own house (couldn't even _find_
his own
house), and she wouldn't trust Happousai an inch. That left Mousse, and
maybe
Ukyou. Frantic, she sprinted to Ucchan's.
Thus ends part 1. Part 2 should be around as well.