Yes, it's another teaser for another new fic. 

To be honest, I wasn't even going to let on that I ever came up with
this twisted and insane idea. However, two of my favorite
prereaders...suggested ^_^;;; that I share this little gem with the
FFML, and at least one other prereader expressed an interest in
seeing it continued, so...here it is. Oh, to forestall any questions
about it...the "J" stands for "Japan", and has "no relation" to Saber
Marionette J, an anime which, much as I've heard about it, I've never
seen. 

	For five years, they relentlessly studied the art 
	of high comedy. But nothing the professors taught
	could possibly prepare them for this...

		Lurker presents...

				TAINITUUN J

		Disclaimers
		"Tiny Toon Adventures" property of Warner Bros.
		All other characters and incidents property of
		their respective owners. 

	Prologue

	In a hallway in the fine institute of higher education known as Acme
Looniversity, two students were engaged in a deep philosophical
conversation.
	"So like, I told him, like, get crucial, or some junk."
	"Uh-huh...that's great, Shirl. Now where did that blue-haired hare
get off to?"
	The duck known as Shirley the Loon shrugged. "Like, I thought I saw
him go into Calamity's lab, or some junk." 
	"Calamity's lab, eh?" Babs Bunny frowned. "Wonder what they're up to
this time?" The pink rabbit changed course, headed for the science
wing. Her companion decided it would be bad karma to follow. 

	"How's it coming along?" Buster Bunny asked the mad coyote
scientist. 
	Calamity Coyote gave Buster a thumbs-up, and continued fiddling with
knobs and dials on a massive console before him. Strange fluids
flowed through oddly twisted tubes above their heads, as various
pumps, turbines, bellows, and other assorted thingamajigs hummed,
whirred, and puffed throughout the room. 
	A police siren sounded, and the doors burst open. The rabbit and the
coyote looked up as a uniformed pink patrol officer charged into the
room, jabbing the blue hare in the chest with a loaded carrot.
"Alright, Buster. Care to explain what you've gotten yourself mixed
up in this time?"
	Buster snatched the carrot and ate it. "Chill, Babs," he said. "Have
you noticed that our careers have been kinda dull since '94?"
	Whirling back into her usual outfit, Babs smirked. "Duh, Sherlock
Hare. Maybe it's because we've been in reruns for four years now?"
	"Indubitably," Buster said, having whirled into a raincoat and
deerstalker cap. Waving a bubble pipe around, he continued, "Calamity
and I came up with an idea for getting our careers back in gear."
	"Really?" Babs asked, curious. Curiosity turned into suspicion as
she narrowed her eyes. "How?"
	"Elementary, Watson. When one market dries up, you just have to find
another market."
	"Another market? Even the WB Studio Stores don't carry our
merchandise anymore," Babs said.
	Buster groaned. Unnoticed by anyone except Calamity, a tiny
sweatdrop developed on the back of his head. *It works!* the coyote
genius thought to himself. *It actually works!* 
	"No, Babs," Buster said, gesturing at the devices around them. "The
market for Tiny Toons dried up when...*they* came out of the water
tower."
	"SSHHHHHHH!!! IDIOT! You don't want to attract *them* *here*, do
you?" Babs said, pulling a zipper across Buster's mouth.
	Buster unzipped his lips. "Sorry," he said, even as he
costume-changed into his usual red shirt. "Anyway, there wasn't much
use for us when...well, y'know." He dodged a stray spark from one of
the devices in the room, and continued. "I mean, face it, the third
generation of Warner comedy is hot, and..." he shrugged.
	"We're not?" Babs said.
	"Uhhh...yeah." 
	"So what?"
	"Well, I got to thinking...one thing about us Tiny Toons, we're good
at adapting, right?"
	Babs blinked. "We are?"
	Buster shrugged. "Well, we're about to be, if we want to get out of
this rerun rut we're in," he said. "Think, Babs. WB isn't the be-all
and end-all of animation. There's other companies out there, other
avenues..."
	Babs gasped. "You...you don't mean..." There was a pregnant pause.
As soon as the pause gave birth and the doctor slapped the baby's
bottom, Babs finished, "You want us to defect to...the big D?"
	Buster slapped his forehead. "No!"
	"Oh. So, what then? I mean, nobody in this country's gonna hire us!
Aside from the fact that we're WB property, we're old stock! I mean,
look at the kind of toons people are hiring these days! It's
pathetic!"
	"Right," Buster said. "Cow and Chicken...South Park...they're all
terrible," he agreed. "But there's a whole other world of animation
out there, that's catching on pretty fast. Even with all the bad
press it gets..."
	Babs blinked. "Bad press?" Suddenly, a light bulb went off above her
head. Scowling at it before tossing it out a nearby window, she said,
"Buster...you're not thinking what I think you're thinking...we'd
never fit in! We're a totally different style of cartooning! You're
insane, Buster! Insane, I tell you!" Babs cried. 
	Buster grinned. "Maybe so."
	"It'll never work," Babs said, turning her back on Buster.
	"Oh, but it's already working," Buster said. Babs spun around. 
	"What? What did you say?" 
	[He's right,] read a sign held up by Calamity. [Hold your ears,
folks. It's showtime!] Calamity pulled a large level.
	The lights in the lab dimmed. Babs looked around, fear evident on
her face, as Buster grinned and laughed maniacally. "Hey!" Babs
cried. "I never agreed to be a guinea bunny!"
	"Relax," Buster said. 
	"What are you...whooooooooa!" Babs cried as she felt
herself...changing. Her eyes widened...and widened...and kept on
widening...
	The lights came back up. [That's enough for now,] Calamity's newest
sign said.
	"Convinced, Babs?" Buster said.
	"A mirror," the pink rabbit said. "I need a mirror. Give me a
mirror!"
	"Okay, sheesh. Cool the Nicholson," Buster said, handing Babs a
mirror. The hare stared at her reflection, and dropped the mirror in
shock. 
	"I...I..." Babs stammered.
	"That's right, Babs. Deal with it. Let it all out..."
	Babs threw back her head and screamed, "I THINK I'M TURNING
JAPANESE!"
	"You really think so?" Buster deadpanned. Babs blinked her
significantly larger eyes, and facefaulted. 
	"That...hurt," she said as she peeled her face from the floor.
Recovering, she muttered, "How do they do that, anyway?"
	[It won't hurt when the conversion is complete,] Calamity said via
sign. 
	"Ooooh no," Babs said. "I'm not going through *that* again," she
declared. 
	Buster shrugged. "Fine by me. If you really want to be stuck in a
rut for the rest of your life...until you end up like...Honey..."
	Babs blinked. "That...that can't happen to us," she declared.
	"Can't it?" Buster said. "Do you really want to bet your paint on
that?"
	Babs sighed. "Okay, you win. Calamity, crank it."
	[Yokai.]
	Babs blinked. "Huh?"
	Buster chuckled. "Calamity's already given himself a few
treatments," he explained. The coyote in question turned the dial
past "Medium Dosage", even past "Maximum Dosage", all the way to
"Nuclear Sushi". The lights dimmed again, and the room filled with
sparks...

	**A LONG SPECIAL FX SEQUENCE WE DON'T HAVE THE BUDGET FOR LATER**

	Babs stared at herself in the large mirror at the end of the lab.
"Uso," she gasped. 
	"Believe it," Buster said from nearby. Babs looked up, visibly
shaken. 
	"We're...we're really..."
	"Anime," Buster said. "We're anime characters now."
	Babs stared at her reflection again. She'd gained a few feet in
height, as well as a more...feminine shape. Her blue eyes had turned
red, and were large and dewey. Her ears now poked up through
shoulder-length, dark red hair. She now had five fingers on each
hand, rather than four, and her feet had shrunk. Even her face had
changed...her nose remained the same color, but it was more human,
and her front teeth were less prominent. Completing the change, her
standard costume had been replaced by the sailor-style school
uniform, with a yellow ribbon in front. "This is weird," Babs said. 
	Buster had undergone a similar change, and now sported short,
slightly messy dark blue hair atop his head, as well as a dark blue
school uniform. "Sugoi, ne Babs-chan?" he said. Babs smirked. 
	"Why are we speaking Japanese?" she asked.
	"Because we're anime characters now?" Buster replied.
	"Aa, sou..." 
	Calamity looked up from the console, squinting with beady eyes from
behind small, round glasses. He picked some stray fur from the white
lab coat he now wore, and frowned at it. 
	The door to the lab burst open. "Hey, what'th goin' on in here?"
lisped the voice of Professor Daffy Duck. 
	"Konnichi wa, sensei," Buster and Babs said. Calamity held up a sign
with the same message scrawled on it. 
	Daffy did an eyepop take. "What th'--what ith thith?" he asked. 
	"Anou..." Buster said, shrugging. 
	"Hey teach, what's up?" Plucky's voice said from behind Daffy, as
the green-feathered duck strolled into the lab. "Hiya Buster, Babs,"
he said. It took about 30 seconds before he figured out something was
amiss. "Say, guys, you look a little different today. Have the
animators been nipping the paint thinner again?" 
	Calamity scribbled a sign, frowned at it, tossed it out the window,
and scrawled a new one. [A little experiment,] his sign read in shaky
English. [Nothing to worry about here.]
	Suddenly, Calamity's machine began sparking and spewing smoke. "I'm
gettin' outta here," Daffy announced as he ran for the hills. "CLEAR
THE BUILDING!" he shouted in the hallways. Students and faculty began
streaming out through the doors of the Looniversity. 
	Of course, it wouldn't be comedy (or much of a plot) if the key
players didn't manage to get stuck in the building, as Calamity's
conversion contraption overloaded...


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The Eternal Lost Lurker
"My name is Don Roberto de Lurker. I am the
world's greatest fanfiction writer. I have written
more than 1,000 pages of fanfiction. 
--Okay, maybe not."
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never having to say you farted." 
--From the book of Minako-isms
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