I am amazed and pleased by the amount of feedback I've gotten on this
story!
On Mon, 16 Mar 1998, Scott Schimmel wrote:
Normally, Miki really enjoyed this, but she wasn't
sure what to write today. 'Today, I found a cat that some children were
picking on. They were dressed up in silly 'Gastaman' outfits and were
chasing it around with their water pistols.
Scott: (blinks) Good lord. A fanfic appearance by the Gastaman
team. (pauses) It's going to be one of those fics, isn't it?
Bailesu: Yes.
Akane: Miki Koishikawa, you stand accused of five charges of
kidnapping and vehicular homicide. How do you plead?
Miki: I blame society.
Bailesu: Right. Time to arrest society. [handcuffs everything in
sight.]
been sealed. I can't undo it even if I wanted to. History has already
been changed." Now she sounded a little nervous. "But I think you can do
the job better than that screamer, anyway."
Scott: Usagi's a screamer? And Urd knows this... how? O_o
Urd: Don't ask.
Scott: Would Urd actually say something like that, though? Sounds
off...
Urd: I'm trying to broaden my horizons. Making obscure statements is
part of a diety's job.
"Make my mother a good cook?"
"I'd have to be a first class Goddess.
Scott: Ouch. I wonder what it would take for Akane, then.
Urd: Kamisama himself. Maybe.
"..."
Madoka: Miki is going through a year's supply of ellipses in just one
chapter. What will she do in #2?
Miki: I buy in bulk.
Maybe someone tied a weirdness magnet to me while I was asleep last
night, Miki thought. "Um...what kind of business?"
Akane: (Luna) Toy manufacturing. I figure we can license character
goods to this series and make a fortune.
Luna: Shh! I haven't told her yet!
The cat sprung out of Miki's arms and up
onto her desk. "My name is Luna, and you...You are the Senshi of the
Moon."
Madoka: This is the part of the review where we interrupt and, for no
particular reason, make pointless guesses as to who's merged with
whom.
Akane: Miki is Moon; that's a given. Meiko must be Mercury; they're
so much alike.
Madoka: Suzu is probably Venus, for the same reason.
Bailesu: Yaah. Suzu is a natural!
Miki: Pain the butt.
Bailesu: That too.
Scott: Here's where we run into trouble. I guess Arimi will be Mars,
since the attitudes are closer than Arimi-Jupiter would be... but
there's nobody else who fits Jupiter. An is too frail and insecure,
and so is Tsutomu's girlfriend... and Doris is too gentle.
Bailesu: Anju has a rather more dangerous destiny ahead of her.
Miki: You're going to turn her into a MONSTER?
Bailesu: No, not a monster.
Miki: [shakes Bailesu] TELL ME!!!
Bailesu: I have three rules I must live by. Don't stop time. Don't
watch Rush Limbaugh. Don't give plot spoilers.
Miki: ...
Akane: An could be Venus, if Suzu was Chibi-Usa. ^_^ Maybe Jinny is
Jupiter?
Madoka: Or maybe Yuu is Jupiter... he seemed to pass pretty well as a
girl in that commercial.
Miki: Yuu...in a fuku. [facefaults]
Scott: With that wig and dress, he looks more like Serenity. (pause)
Now that's a scary thought...
Usagi: [pops in] AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Miki gulped. She stood up and shouted, "LOVE FORTY, GAME POINT!"
Every photon in the room suddenly converged in on her body, then
exploded outward. She corkscrewed around, suddenly caught in an upward
spiral of air. Her hair spilled upwards as it ripped loose from the
ribbons and ties that were adorning and controlling it, although being
short, it couldn't go very far upwards.
Scott: Her hair is actually reasonably long until later in the show.
When she wears it down, it falls to the middle of her back.
Bailesu: It looked to me like it didn't go down to past the top of her
shoulders more than an inch or two, which is fairly short as female hair
goes. (As compared to Meiko's hair)
She had never felt so energetic and strong in her entire life, and when
the process was finished, she instinctively struck a triumphant pose.
"Wow," Miki said, then looked at herself. "Hey, this looks like
my Tennis Uniform."
Madoka: I have to wonder what Mercury's costume looks like, then. A
librarian?
Scott: Venus's would look like an idol... that could get pretty
wild... Mars' would be a track outfit?
Akane: Is this the Senshi we're talking about, or the Village People?
Miki: [posing] Y M C A....
Madoka: Tennis. Warriors.
Miki: Big words from a woman who throws guitar picks as a weapon.
Madoka: Youma are easily amused, I guess.
Scott: Why waste a good maniacal laugh on unconscious people?
Youma #1: Because it's therapeutic. Indeed, laughing manically at an
empty room works well too.
Akane: It didn't disintegrate in a flash of light or collapse into a
pile of dust, or both.
Luna: I see SOMEONE's been reading the manual.
Madoka: In all seriousness, given that this is Marmalade Boy, Yuu,
Ginta, Kei, and Michael just might take turns with the mask...
Scott: It works fine for the other three, who are athletic types, but
Kei? What's he going to do, throw electronic keyboards at the youma?
(pause) Don't answer that.
Miki: Sharpened piano keys!
She had fully intended to lay down the law to her parents and
negate this whole silly affair. She had hoped the Matsuura's son, Yuu,
would help her, but apparently, he thought it would be fun, and it had
ended up as Miki vs. the world. The world won.
Scott: Give her a break, Akane. She just met the Matsuuras for the
first time... for the second time.
Pluto: This continuity error has been...made so that it never existed.
Bailesu: What continuity error?
Pluto: Exactly.
Miki sighed. "Am I the only person who thinks this is crazy?"
Luna curled up against Miki's legs. "I agree with you, Miki. This
is crazy. But unfortunately, I couldn't go help you."
Scott: Editorial comment, but... I have to admit I never saw what was
so crazy about it. Unusual, sure, but it all worked out so well...
Miki: It's not every day that two couples that have been happily married
for 16 years suddenly decide over a weekend to swap partners!
Scott: Anyway, that's it for chapter 1. Overall comments: I liked
it, but it seemed rushed. Some closer grammar checking would help.
And there's that one major continuity error, with Miki going to the
dinner twice...
Pluto: [stares at Scott, eyes flashing] There was no continuity error.
You merely imagined it. These are not the droids you're looking for.
Bailesu: Thanks for the review!
John Walter Biles : MA-History, Ph.D Wannabe at U. Kansas
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu
rhea@tass.org http://www.tass.org/~rhea/falcon.html
rhea@maison-otaku.net http://www.maison-otaku.net/~rhea/
Clever Nabiki sighed. Magic wouldn't do the trick, either. The
next day, she tried putting poison in the ogres' food, but everyone just
ended up thinking Princess Tomboy had tried to cook it.
"The Tale of Clever Nabiki", by Hans Christian Anderson