I'm enjoying this so far. Just a few comments:

Genma's revelation in the middle of this came way too abruptly. I think
you'd get more of a suspense build-up if you let him wander around
mysteriously for a while before blurting out the full explanation of
what he's up to.

Shampoo's characterization in the later scenes didn't seem like any kind
of believable natural behavior. It made it seem like she was either
insane, or under some sort of outside mental influence. If that's not
what you were going for, you might want to re-do some of her internal
dialog.

Oh, and please put the author's notes at the end -- they're distracting
when they're in the middle. Other than that, it was good. I don't
usually find "shampoo" jokes to be funny ('cause it's too easy to make
them), but one line in this about "keeping Shampoo out of your hair"
really cracked me up for some reason.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics