[Lights up on the living room.  Madoka is sitting near the window,
playing saxophone.  Scott is leaning on the table, glaring down at the
chessboard.  The game seems to be stalled partway through, and black
controls most of the board.  Scott places his finger on the white
queen, frowns at the chessboard some more, and lifts his hand away
without moving anything.  Madoka's song comes to a close.]

Madoka:  Don't tell me you're still trying to puzzle out a solution.

Scott:  There's got to be a way out of this.  I know it.  Maybe if I
used my white knight... yes, I think I see my next move.  (looks up)
Where is Yuu, anyway?

Madoka:  Didn't you know?  We have a Marmalade Boy fanfic today.

Scott:  Oh?  That explains it.  I guess we can start once Akane gets
here, then.

Madoka:  Didn't you know?  She's not available.  The network is
sending a replacement.  (looks down at an index card) A "Sana-chan."

Scott:  Urk.  (facefaults)

Madoka:  Just kidding.  Akane should be here any minute.

[On cue, there is a knock from the direction of the camera.]

Scott:  Don't... do that to me...  (louder) Come in.

[A door opens, then closes.  Akane walks in, exchanging greetings with
Madoka and peering quizically at Scott, lying on the floor.  She
shrugs and sits down on the couch.  Madoka, who has packed away her
saxophone in the meantime, joins her shortly.  After a few more
moments, so does Scott.]

Akane:  Are you all right?

Scott:  Scared half to death.  Don't worry, it's nothing important.
(to Madoka) So, what fic do we have today, exactly?

Madoka:  "Marmalade Moon" #1, by John Biles.

Scott:  Ah.  Shall we?

[Madoka chuckles and picks up the remote, pressing a button.  The fic
begins to play...]

	Miki was bored, bored out of her skull.

Scott:  Any bets how many paragraphs it'll take before she wishes she
was still bored?  I'll say 10.

Akane:  6.

Madoka:  Hmm... 4.

Scott:  Cynic.

Madoka:  We'll see.

She was busily writing an
entry in her diary that she shared with her best friend Meiko.  They would
each write an entry, then pass it to the other person, who would reply and
talk about their life.

Madoka:  Hence the term 'exchange diary.'

Scott:  She's bored out of her skull reading about her friend's life?

Akane:  Or writing about her own.  Meiko's an author-in-training, so
maybe she can make her life seem more interesting than Miki's.

Madoka:  One invocation of that ancient Chinese curse, coming right
up...

Scott:  Would you like fries with that?

Normally, Miki really enjoyed this, but she wasn't
sure what to write today.  'Today, I found a cat that some children were
picking on.  They were dressed up in silly 'Gastaman' outfits and were
chasing it around with their water pistols.

Scott:  (blinks) Good lord.  A fanfic appearance by the Gastaman
team.  (pauses) It's going to be one of those fics, isn't it?

Akane and Madoka:  (nod)

So I charged them with my
towel I had taken to practice tennis

Madoka:  I guess she knows where her towel is.

Scott:  Froody.  Sort of an awkward sentence, though... but then, it
could be intentional.

and drove them off,

Akane:  Miki Koishikawa, you stand accused of five charges of
kidnapping and vehicular homicide.  How do you plead?

Madoka:  (Miki) Like this?  "Please, please, please, pleeeeeease..."

shouting that I
was the Towel Monster.  After a while, we all started laughing and had fun
for a while.

Scott:  That's one too many whiles.

Akane:  Right.  You really can't describe Miki as "while-y."

Scott:  (blinks) You made a pun... -you- made a pun...

Akane:  Oh, no... it's contagious.

Madoka:  It's too late for you now.  You've MSTed one too many fanfics.

Sometimes, it's nice to be a little kid again, at least in
spirit. 

Scott:  "Sometimes," she says...

After they finally left, the cat came over and rubbed up against
my legs.  She was a really beautiful cat, with soft black fur and a white
patch on her forehead.  I tried to take her home with me, but she ran off.
I guess cats can't make up their minds.'

Akane:  (blinks) Miki accusing someone else of indecisiveness...
That's just wrong.

Scott:  Sort of like Akane accusing someone else of perversion, when
she's the one who always reads into things...

Akane:  (glowing blue aura)

Scott:  Eep.

Madoka:  (facepalms) Does this have to happen in every review?

	Miki tried to think of what else to say.  'The weather is very
beautiful, but my life is so boring.  I wish something exciting would
happen.'  

Madoka:  How many paragraphs was that?

Akane:  (counting) 2.

Madoka:  I'm going to be closest, then...

	She turned and looked out the window, putting down her pen and
stared at the posters on the wall of her bedroom.  Sometimes, I wish I
could be glamourous like all of you.  It'll never happen, though.

Scott:  (shakes his head) That's the second time she's said the words
"I wish."  Poor girl.

	An odd scratching noise from her 'diary' caught her attention.  She
stared in shock as her pen moved across the page, apparently under its own
power.  Whatever was moving it had beautiful handwriting.  The pen wrote,
'Your wish is granted.  Signed, Sealed, and Notarized by Urd, Second Class
Goddess of the Goddess Relief Office.'  

Madoka:  Four paragraphs, on the dot.

Scott:  A wish... granted by Urd.  (deadpan) Miki's life is over.

	Miki blinked.  "What?"

All:  "Your wish is granted."

Akane:  I wonder which wish.

Scott:  The second.  Which will cause the first.  Just a guess.

	'For more details, go downstairs and turn on your TV.  Moving this
pen is making my wrist cramp up.'
 
	"..."  Miki got up and went downstairs.  

Madoka:  ...hoping this was all just a crazy dream.

	As she entered the living room, she could hear her mother in the
kitchen.  Various banging and crashing noises indicated she must be
cooking something.  "Would you like some cake, dear?"
 
	"Umm...in a minute, Mom."  She turned on the TV, having concluded
this must be some kind of dream.  The scent of lemon frosting wafted
through the air into her nostrils from the kitchen, making her smile.  Mom
would never be a great cook, but I guess she can make frosting, at least,
Miki thought.

Scott:  I'm not sure Rumi is really a bad cook.  Miki says she's not
very good, and she's not as good as Chiyako, but she's at least
adequate, and possibly fairly good.

Akane:  I know what that's like...  Make a few little mistakes, and
nobody ever lets you forget about it.  Honestly...

Scott:  ^_^;;  Few... little... aheh.

	 The image of a beautiful, exotic woman with long white hair, skimpy
clothing, and a blue tattoo on her forehead, lying on a sandy beach filled
the TV screen.  "Hello, Miki.  I'm Urd, from the Goddess Relief Office."

Madoka:  That's obviously a misnomer.  Miki is anything but relieved.

Akane:  But she's not a goddess.  If she were, then she would feel
relieved.

Madoka:  Ah, you might be right...

	Miki stared mindlessly for a moment.  "Um...hi."

Scott:  Miki boggles out at everything, doesn't she?

Akane:  I'm surprised she hasn't fainted.

	"I was spying on people because I was bored, and noticed you were as
bored as me, so I decided to grant your wish to make both our lives a
little more exciting."

Madoka:  (Urd) Especially yours.  This should be fun.  (cackles
maniacally)

	"..."

Scott:  (Inigo Montoya) You keep using that ellipsis.  I do not think
it means what you think it means.

Madoka:  It's one of those things that works much better in script
format than in prose.

	Urd smiled and sat up.  "Of course, your life was about to become
more exciting anyway, I just turned up the level of excitement a tad.
You've been marked by destiny for a long time."

Akane:  Translation -- Fate has got your number, and it's time to
collect.

	"Am I dreaming this?"

Madoka:  You wish.

	"This is quite real."  Urd's tone became more serious.  "I can be a
little obnoxious at times, but you can trust what I say.  The bargain has

Scott:  Urd... admits to being obnoxious?

Akane:  (shakes her head) Maybe it -is- a dream...

been sealed.  I can't undo it even if I wanted to.  History has already
been changed."  Now she sounded a little nervous.  "But I think you can do
the job better than that screamer, anyway."

Scott:  Usagi's a screamer?  And Urd knows this... how? O_o

Akane:  Hentai.

	"What are you talking about?"
 
	"I suppose you can't even tell, yet, but you will.  Don't
worry, you WON'T be bored!"

Scott:  Hmm.  This must be the "lemon frosting" for the story, that
she mentioned earlier.
  

	"I am dreaming this."
 
	Urd smiled.  "Well, maybe you are Buddha dreaming of being a
Butterfly dreaming of being Lao Tze dreaming of being Dogbert, but..."
 
	Miki tried to understand that and failed.

Madoka:  She's not the only one.

Akane:  I was fine until Dogbert came into it...

Scott:  Would Urd actually say something like that, though?  Sounds
off...

"Are you REALLY a goddess?  What are you doing inside my television?"

Madoka:  (Urd) -Everybody- wants to be on television!

Scott:  Do we really want to know what Urd is doing in there...?

	Urd stepped out of the TV, and Miki nearly fainted.  "How's this for
a start?"

Akane:  See?  She almost fainted.  I told you so.

	"Uhh...good start."  Miki shrank back on the couch.  
 
	"What would you like for a sign, oh daughter of Eve?"

Madoka:  (Miki) How about "No Trespassing?"

Akane:  For Miki, I think "Yield" might be more appropriate.

Scott:  Or "Watch out for falling rocks." ^_^

	"My mother isn't named Eve."  Miki said.

Madoka:  Ack.

	Urd sighed.  "Doesn't anyone...never mind.  What can I do to
demonstrate my power?"

All:  Uh-oh.

Akane:  Run, Miki!  Run!

	"Make my mother a good cook?"
 
	"I'd have to be a first class Goddess.

Scott:  Ouch.  I wonder what it would take for Akane, then.

Madoka:  (Urd) There are things of which even the Ultimate Force is
not capable...

Akane:  Hey!  What's that supposed to mean?!

How about..."  Urd looked
around and smiled.  "SPIRITS OF AIR, WATER, EARTH, AND FIRE, HEED MY
CALL!  REDECORATE THIS ROOM IN A PLEASING MANNER!"  Streamers of fire and
light rushed forth from Urd, washing across the room, reconfiguring
everything in their wake. The ceiling now had a disco ball hanging from
it, the floor was a deep blue shag carpet, and the furniture was now in
neon colors.  The TV was now 25 inches and sitting on top of a very
elaborate stereo system, which was the only thing Miki considered an
improvement.  The walls were decorated with pictures of couples embracing,
nymphs and satyrs in the forest, and palm trees.

Scott:  (ROFLs) Disco ball...

Urd sat down hard on the
couch.  "Now that made me thirsty."
 
	Okay, she IS a goddess, Miki concluded.  The goddess of Bad Taste,
maybe.  "I don't think Mom is going to like this."
 
	Miki's mother stepped out of the kitchen.  "Why, Urd!  How nice

Akane:  It's almost as if she'd been cued... (whistles innocently)

of you to drop by."  She looked around.  "Hmm.  I think this place needs a
nice stuffed parrot to go with the palm trees."
 
	"I'll bring you one the next time I stop by."
 
	Miki stared mindlessly at her mother.  "Umm...You know her?"

	"Of course I know my own sister!" she pronounced.  "Don't you
recognize your Aunt Urd, Miki?"

Madoka:  Rumi Koishikawa, Goddess Second Class.  Hmm.

Scott:  I don't want to think about it.

	"..."
 
	Urd whispered, "Don't worry, I only lightly fuzzed her mind to avoid
problems."

Akane:  ...which will end up causing more problems than it avoids.

Madoka:  Does Urd -need- to fuzz her mind?  It's pretty far out there
already...

	"..."

	"Oh, Miki, we have some exciting news for you!"

Scott:  And now, the part you've all been waiting for...

	Miki had already hit her excitement quota for the month, maybe the
year.  "What kind of news?  Did something exciting happen in Hawaii?"  Her
parents had just gotten back from a trip to Hawaii.

Akane:  Why does he tell us they've just gotten back from a trip to
Hawaii right after she asks about Hawaii?  There must be a better way
to phrase that.

	"Yes.  We met a nice couple, so your father and I are getting
divorced and marrying them."

Scott:  Ellipsis.

	"..."

Scott:  Yes!

	"We're having dinner with them tonight, so you might want to get
dressed up."  She turned to Urd.  "You'll help Miki pick something nice,
right?"
 
	Miki fainted before she could hear any kind of answer.

All:  (ROFL)

Akane:  Finally.

Madoka:  The question is, was it her mother's news that made her
faint, or asking Urd to pick something "nice" for her? ^_^

*******************
 
	 That night, before going to bed, Miki was in a mildly frantic
state.

Scott:  This would become the norm for the next few years.

Everything had gone horribly wrong.  Her parents and the Matsuuras
were quite set on the whole deal of swapping partners and remarrying.
Their son, who she had hoped would be her ally in opposing the
deal...didn't CARE!  Was he insane?  

Akane:  Yes.  But in a cute way.

	At least the crazy goddess had taken off, but the living room still
looked like a love hotel...and her parents didn't seem to care.  Does
anyone care about ANYTHING except me?

Madoka:  Yes.  In fact, they all care about EVERYTHING except you.  Or
so it seems.

Scott:  I think she meant, "Does anyone except me care about ANYTHING?"

She stared at her diary,
wondering if she had dreamed it all.  There was too much evidence to
believe that, though.  

Akane:  Hope springs eternal...

	 Maybe I should call Meiko and see what she thinks.  She called
Meiko on the phone, and the maid answered.  "Hallo?"
 
	 "Is Meiko there?"
 
	 "Meiko has gone out for the evening with Miki."

Scott:  (grins) This is going to be good...

	 "..."

Madoka:  Miki is going through a year's supply of ellipses in just one
chapter.  What will she do in #2?

	 "She'll be back around eleven."
 
	 Gone out with me?  But I'm RIGHT HERE.  Maybe she lied to the maid?
Better not to blow her secret.  "Okay.  I'll call back later."  She hung
up.  Now what?  She sighed.

Akane:  Now it's time to see what's Plot Complication #3...

	The meowing of a cat at the window caught her attention, so she went
over.  It was the cat from earlier in the day.  She opened the window and
let it in.  "Wow, you're a smart kitty, finding your way here?  Are you
hungry?"

Scott:  Shampoo only want hot water.  Sorry for trouble.

Madoka:  (facepalms) It's not even a Ranma crossover...

Scott:  It's my First Axiom of Fanfics.  As a crossover progresses,
the odds of a Ranma reference occurring approach 1.

Akane:  ...

Madoka:  Oh, no, not you too!

	 The kitty purred and climbed into her arms for a moment, then
sighed in a rather human manner.  "I can eat later.  We have important
business to attend to!"
 
	Miki fainted, of course.

Akane:  That makes two faints and six ellipses.  And that's just the
prologue.

Madoka:  The night is still young.

*********************
 
Marmalade Moon

Scott:  Not green cheese.  Hmm.

A SM/Marmalade Boy fusion (with just a touch of AMG)

Madoka:  A touch of AMG, a dash of SM, a sprinkling of Marmalade
Boy...

Scott:  A recipe for disaster? ^_^

Madoka:  Pin-pon!

Episode 1:
 
"If wishes were horses..."

by
 
John Biles
 
**********************
 
	 Miki woke up on the floor with the kitty on her chest, licking her
face.  I must have imagined it talking to me, she thought.  She petted the
cat on the head.  "I'm so silly.  I thought you started talking."

Akane:  She really is desperate, isn't she?

Scott:  That's the thing about Miki... she'd really be content with a
normal life.  It doesn't take all that much to make her happy.  It
should be interesting, though.  She doesn't have most of Usagi's
weaknesses, but she doesn't have the same inner strength, either.  Not
at this point in the series, anyway.

	 "I DID start talking.  Are you going to faint again, or are we
going to get down to business?"  The cat looked disturbingly human as it
gazed at Miki, and it sounded a little irritated.

Madoka:  (Miki)  I'm going to faint again.  (faints)

	 "Did Urd send you?"
 
	 "Who?"  The cat sounded utterly baffled.
 
	 Maybe someone tied a weirdness magnet to me while I was asleep last
night, Miki thought.  "Um...what kind of business?"

Akane:  (Luna) Toy manufacturing.  I figure we can license character
goods to this series and make a fortune.

	 "I have been looking for some people for a very long time, and I
believe you're one of them!"

Scott:  (Luna) Now, prepare to die!

The cat sprung out of Miki's arms and up
onto her desk.  "My name is Luna, and you...You are the Senshi of the
Moon."

Madoka:  This is the part of the review where we interrupt and, for no
particular reason, make pointless guesses as to who's merged with
whom.

Akane:  Miki is Moon; that's a given.  Meiko must be Mercury; they're
so much alike.

Madoka:  Suzu is probably Venus, for the same reason.

Scott:  Here's where we run into trouble.  I guess Arimi will be Mars,
since the attitudes are closer than Arimi-Jupiter would be... but
there's nobody else who fits Jupiter.  An is too frail and insecure,
and so is Tsutomu's girlfriend... and Doris is too gentle.

Akane:  An could be Venus, if Suzu was Chibi-Usa. ^_^  Maybe Jinny is
Jupiter?

Madoka:  Or maybe Yuu is Jupiter... he seemed to pass pretty well as a
girl in that commercial.

Scott:  With that wig and dress, he looks more like Serenity.  (pause)
Now that's a scary thought...

	 "The what?"  Miki tried to boggle, then realized she'd used up her
allowance of funny faces for the day, and for Miki, that was pretty rare.

All:  (ROFL)

	 Luna did a backflip, which stunned Miki further, since she herself
couldn't do a backflip with help, and chanted something that sounded like
pig-latin.  A small golden locket on a chain appeared.  The cover of it
had a crossed tennis raquet and golf club over a silver crescent moon.

Madoka:  Oh, no... he wouldn't...

Akane:  Yes, he would.  Trust me.

"This is your transformation locket."

Scott:  I sort of expected it to look exactly like the Toryo
medallion.  Then Miki would lose it at some point...

	 Miki picked it up hesitantly.  "It's for me?"

Akane:  You'd think she'd ask something about the "transformation"
part first.

	"Absolutely.  Put it on."

	Miki quickly put it on, then curiously opened it, finding a tiny
picture of Meiko being attacked at a jewelry store by a monster inside it.

Scott:  That sentence ought to be shot.  Try "Miki quickly put it on,
then curiously opened it.  Inside, she found a tiny picture..."

"What the..."
 
	Luna stared at the picture.  "Your friend is in danger!  Quickly,
you must say, "Love Forty, GAME POINT!"

Scott:  (facefaults)

Madoka:  He -did-.

Akane:  I told you.

	"..."
 
	Luna shouted.  "JUST DO IT!"

Akane:  (Luna) And after the character goods license, there's this
sneaker endorsement contract I want you to sign...

	Miki gulped.  She stood up and shouted, "LOVE FORTY, GAME POINT!"  
 
	Every photon in the room suddenly converged in on her body, then
exploded outward.  She corkscrewed around, suddenly caught in an upward
spiral of air.  Her hair spilled upwards as it ripped loose from the
ribbons and ties that were adorning and controlling it, although being
short, it couldn't go very far upwards.

Scott:  Her hair is actually reasonably long until later in the show.
When she wears it down, it falls to the middle of her back.

Madoka:  Of course, she can't decapitate people ten feet away by
shaking her head, like Usagi could.

Scott:  Point.

Akane:  Game, set, and match.

Scott:  (groans) So that's what it feels like...

Her clothing apparently decided
it would join the photons as it dissolved away into the spray of light
that helixed around her.  The light formed into bands, and the bands
converged inwards from all sides, becoming a uniform of durable, but soft
pink cloth, a headband and blue visor, and white sneakers.  The skirt of
the uniform was banded with blue and white stripes, and the visor had a
bright gold crescent moon embossed on it.  The locket hung down her
chest in front.  Four swirling ribbons coalesced in her right hand into a
golden racquet, and another ribbon encased six shining motes of light in
her left hand, forming a small case of moon-marked tennis balls.  While
this was happening, Miki was experiencing the greatest rush of her life.
She had never felt so energetic and strong in her entire life, and when
the process was finished, she instinctively struck a triumphant pose.  

	 "Wow,"  Miki said, then looked at herself.  "Hey, this looks like
my Tennis Uniform."

Madoka:  I have to wonder what Mercury's costume looks like, then.  A
librarian?

Scott:  Venus's would look like an idol... that could get pretty
wild... Mars' would be a track outfit?

Akane:  Is this the Senshi we're talking about, or the Village People?

	 "That's because the modern girl's tennis uniform is a distorted
cultural memory, derived from the combat garb of the Tennis Warriors of
the Moon Kingdom,"  Luna said.  

Madoka:  Tennis.  Warriors.

	 Miki tried to think of some coherent way to respond to that and
failed.

Madoka:  Try this:  ... (faints)

*********************
 
	 Tennis Warrior Moon (Aka a very embarrassed Koishikawa Miki) stood
outside the OSA-P jewelry store.  "Are you SURE this is a good idea?"

Scott:  (Luna) Of course it is!  Who better to fight the forces of
evil than an anemic sixteen-year-old schoolgirl?

Akane:  Idol singers.  They're mass-manufactured, so they're more
expendable.

	 "Yes,"  Luna said.  "Your friend is in danger!  Stop yammering and
get in there and sock it to them!"
 
	 TW Moon gritted her teeth and charged inside.  A red haired woman
was sitting on the jewelry cases, laughing maniacally at a room full of
unconscious people.

Madoka:  Youma are easily amused, I guess.

Scott:  Why waste a good maniacal laugh on unconscious people?

The air was thick with glowing energy.  TW Moon
looked around and quickly spotted Meiko who was lying with a necklace in
her hands on the floor.  Miki felt a burst of anger running through her.
Whatever this thing was, it had hurt her friend Meiko.  

Scott:  You ever get the feeling that the youma would have had much
more success if they'd looked like handsome young men and dispensed
with the maniacal laughter?

	 "You...you...you whatever you are!  You hurt my friend!
I'm...uh..."  TW Moon hesitated.

Akane:  The moster didn't actually do anything while she hesitated,
much less while she spoke?

Madoka:  Union rules.  It was on its hourly five-minute maniacal
laughter break.

	 "The Lovely Tennis Warrior Moon", Luna whispered, reading from a
script.  "You need to pose more, too."

Scott:  Happens all the time... actors decide they -have- to direct...

	 TW Moon drew on her knowlege of Science Ninja Team Gatchaman and
began striking a series of extravagant poses, as she continued, "The
Lovely Tennis Warrior Moon!  Stealing energy from innocent shoppers is
EVIL!  I will punish you in the name of the moon!"  She paused, trying to
decide if she had REALLY just said that.

Madoka:  Well... Miki does take shopping seriously...

	 It was too busy laughing maniacally to notice her as she popped
open the can of tennis balls and extracted one, then tossed it into the
air.  She leaped high, shouting, "MOON SLAM!", as she struck the ball with
the golden racket in her right hand.  The ball glowed, shining brightly as
it cut through the energy and slammed into the monster's head.  It went
flying, crashing into another jewelry rack and slumped over.  "Yatta!  I
won!"  TW Moon said, then ran over to Meiko.

Scott:  That was somehow anticlimactic.

Akane:  It's not dead yet.

Scott:  Oh?

Akane:  It didn't disintegrate in a flash of light or collapse into a
pile of dust, or both.

	 "Meiko!  Wake up!"  TW Moon shook Meiko, who moaned slightly.  She
turned to Luna.  "How can I wake her up?"

Madoka:  (Luna) Try singing your version of "Egao ni Aitai."  That
should do it.

	"She'll recover with some rest.  You did a great job, Moon."
 
	TW Moon smiled until the youma's hands suddenly wrapped around her
throat and flung her into the wall.

Scott:  Hmm.  Good call.

"INTERFERING MORTAL!  I WILL KILL YOU
FOR RUINING MY PLANS!  AND FORCING ME TO SPEAK IN ALL CAPITALS!"

Akane:  This is getting a little too silly.

Madoka:  Tokyo.  Paris, Washington, Antananarivo Moscow Pyongyang.
Belmopan.

Scott:  Great, now she's speaking in all capitals...

	 "Wasn't...my...idea...make...you...talk...like that..."  TW Moon
choked out, beating on the youma's arms with her racket.  

Akane:  (narrator) Miki started to make a racket.

	 A golfball flew across the room, striking the youma in the arm.

Scott:  Well.  That explains the golf club on the locket...

It howled and lost its grip on TW Moon.  "Don't despair, Tennis Warrior
Moon!" a voice cried out from the window above.  TW Moon and the youma
both looked up and saw a cute guy wearing a Zorro mask and a golfing
outfit.  He had a bag of clubs slung over his shoulder, and was carrying a
nine iron.  

Madoka:  Somehow, "Tuxedo Caddy!" just loses something...

Akane:  A nine iron, for indoors play?  Tsk, tsk.

	  The youma howled and tried to throw an entire jewelry case at him,
but he dodged.  TW Moon got to her feet and grabbed another tennis ball.
"MOON SLAM!"  This time it did the trick.  The youma screamed and
dissolved away into a spray of light.  The aura of thick light that

Akane:  See?  -Now- it's dead.

Scott:  Quite.

suffused the room dispersed as the light flowed back into its rightful
owners.  

Scott:  I've heard of afterglow, but that's ridiculous.

	 TW Moon turned to the mysterious Masked Golfer who had aided her,
but he was gone.  He had been reaaaaaallllly cute, too!  She sighed.  "Who
was that Masked Golfer?"

Madoka:  Yuu.

Akane:  (Miki) No, I was the Tennis Warrior.  It couldn't have been
me.

Scott:  (to the camera) You knew someone had to say it.

Madoka:  In all seriousness, given that this is Marmalade Boy, Yuu,
Ginta, Kei, and Michael just might take turns with the mask...

Scott:  It works fine for the other three, who are athletic types, but
Kei?  What's he going to do, throw electronic keyboards at the youma?
(pause) Don't answer that.

	"And why did he use a nine iron when a seven iron is recommended for
indoor combat?"  Luna replied.

Akane:  (laughs)

****************************
 
	 The school was abuzz with rumors the next day about the jewelry
store incident.

Madoka:  Hmm.  "The next day, the school was abuzz with rumors about
the jewelry store incident."  It sounds better.

It was pretty flattering, but Miki had other problems on
her mind.  She was supposed to meet the Matsuuras for dinner.  I can't

Scott:  Eh?  But she already met the Matsuuras for dinner.  She
thought Yuu was insane, remember?

Akane:  If he's not yet, he will be.  After he moves in, I give Miki 3
days before he figures out her secret.

Madoka:  Less, if she actually tries to lie about it instead of just
avoiding the question.

Akane:  (nods) And then the real fun starts...

BELIEVE my parents are getting divorced and remarrying these people they
just met on a trip, she thought.  On second thought, it was a little too
easy to believe.

Scott:  Yep.  She has her parents pegged, all right.

	"Hey, Miki, you need to change!"  a boy's voice said.
 
	Change?  The voice sounded familiar...could it be...the Masked
Golfer?  Did he know her secret?  Miki turned around VERY slowly, only to
find herself face to face with her friend Ginta, who was in his tennis
club uniform.  "What do you mean by...change?"

Madoka:  Maybe we should make that three -hours.-

	Ginta blinked.  "Your uniform.  We have practice!  I'm already
late."
 
	Miki shook her head.  "I have stuff...to do with my parents.  Bye!"
She ran off, feeling a little relieved, but still worried.

***********************
 
	Miki sat at home, trying to figure out exactly where things had gone
wrong.

Akane:  That's easy.  You said the words "I wish" in a fanfic.

She had fully intended to lay down the law to her parents and
negate this whole silly affair.  She had hoped the Matsuura's son, Yuu,
would help her, but apparently, he thought it would be fun, and it had
ended up as Miki vs. the world.  The world won.

 
Scott:  Give her a break, Akane.  She just met the Matsuuras for the
first time... for the second time.

Madoka:  Would you call that Deja Yuu?
 

	Miki sighed.  "Am I the only person who thinks this is crazy?"
 
	Luna curled up against Miki's legs.  "I agree with you, Miki.  This
is crazy.  But unfortunately, I couldn't go help you."

Scott:  Editorial comment, but... I have to admit I never saw what was
so crazy about it.  Unusual, sure, but it all worked out so well...

	"Well, they do seem like nice people at least."  She sighed.  

Akane:  (next-door neighbor) He always seemed like such a nice,
-quiet- boy...

	"Well, they'll probably turn out to be monsters and you'll have to
kill them, but..."  Luna said.

Madoka:  (laughs) You know, there -is- some resemblance between Yuu
and Jadeite...

Scott:  O_o  Don't go there...

	This was NOT the best way to cheer up Miki.

Akane:  Heh.  What is the best way to cheer up Miki?

Scott:  I'd say a shopping spree, but not after her little
adventure...

Madoka:  Two things.  An Urd-shaped punching bag, and a sledgehammer.

Akane:  (nods solemnly)

Scott:  Anyway, that's it for chapter 1.  Overall comments:  I liked
it, but it seemed rushed.  Some closer grammar checking would help.
And there's that one major continuity error, with Miki going to the
dinner twice...

Madoka:  The characters all seem true to the Marmalade Boy canon, at
the beginning.  I'll be interested to see just what Meiko was doing,
though.  There's got to be a reason she said she was going with Miki.

Akane:  Nice play with Sailor Moon conventions, too.

Scott:  I'm looking forward to the next part.  And I guess that's it
for tonight.  (looks at the other two)

[The three wave to the camera.  Madoka points the remote at the camera
and pushes a button.  All goes dark.]


Scott Schimmel                http://www.seas.upenn.edu/~schimmel/
Ex ignorantia ad sapientium;  "You really aren't normal, are you?"
ex luce ad tenebras.              -- Miki Koishikawa