A little something from...

Florencio B. de la Merced, Jr. (fmerced@pworld.net.ph)

Hope you don't enjoy it, coz I didn't enjoy writing this one...
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It was only yesterday that I last saw her.  Yes, we had an argument and we
fought again.  Our parents never liked us fighting.  Our battles always made
lots of trouble for everyone.  Most of the time we try to pick the right
time and place to quarrel, but sometimes, things start to explode between
us.  She'll say I did something wrong, and usually I'd say she's dreaming.
I'd spar with her, insulting her slow reaction and the futility of her
actions.  Usually she'll get a shot or two connected.  I allowed that, of
course.  Not that it wasn't painful or something.  It's just that she'll
never leave me alone if I didn't let her.  My body was nothing if she hurt
herself in trying.  What does a guy do to stop her?

Ryouga told me once that he'll never do anything to hurt her.  I too made a
promise.  But I failed.  It was for the briefest of moments that I lost it.
I got so riled up in the fight, my temper totally took control of me.  I
became the monster I always knew I could be.  The barrier from sanity to
insanity had been breached, the void of malady I had  released into the
world and had claimed it first and only victim.  I only wish it wasn't her.

Now, standing over her grave, I don't know what I can do.  I should kill
myself as well.  That would be the quickest way out.  I'll tear my clothes
off, just like how I ripped her gi into shreds.  I should break both my
limbs, feeling it crack within my grasp just like I had crushed her arms as
well.  She must have lost consciousness right after I dug my fingernails
through her backside.  I too shall lose my senses, but not yet.  I'll have
to stab myself with the same hands that perforated her chest.  She must have
felt the pain of a thousand shards of glass pounding and shredding her heart
to a pulp.  I only hoped she was dead before that.  I won't be.  I'll take
it like a confessed murderer faces his execution.  I'll wait till I stop
hearing my heart, feeling the blood rippling and gushing out of my chest. I
will wait for the moment of divine persecution.  My death won't come as
mournful to everyone here in the cemetery today.

Nabiki asked me to come indoors as it started snowing.  I ignored her, my
silence shouldn't betray the path that I have chosen.  It was because of me
that she's down there on the cold, merciless earth.  I killed her, no one
else is to be blamed.  I will soon follow her in death.  If I didn't do it,
Ryouga will have all the chances in the world to kill me.  To kill his
rival, to dispose of me as he had always wanted.  I only hope it wasn't for
the reason I had caused.  It started.

The pain was excruciating.  My back, limbs and legs instantly failed me.  I
fell to the ground wincing, but there were no more tears for me to give to
the world of the living.  Ryouga had found me, and I won't stop him.  He is
fulfilling my final wish.  My arms were pinned, the bones crushed and
splintering at almost every punch and strike coming from him.  His umbrella
fractured my legs to almost nothing, I neither had the strength to stand up,
let alone contain the pain.  Such unbearable pain.  I was at a loss, this
amount of painful labor my fiancee too had received from me.  I was a fool
indeed.  She wasn't this strong to tolerate half of what Ryouga's wrath had
compounded on my hapless body.  By now, with the little amount of room left
within my ribcage, I breath my last.  My head was the last to feel the
impact of his umbrella, and slowly I...slithered away from this world.  The
world were I knew her for the swiftest of moments, the shortest of
lifetimes.

I knew I had this coming, and I was finally going to see what my sins had
committed.  When I open my eyes again, it will be her face I shall see.
Just like yesterday, when I saw her last.  I couldn't live on without seeing
her again.  This was my cavalry I bear witness to the moment I returned to
the world of my birth.  Her tormented and tortured body was clutched in my
hands.  The very sight of her, unmoving, dead and done for was tragic to me.
I didn't have the courage to ask her, nor had the chance to do so.  Now,
however, at the last twilight of my brief life, what is more important for
me is to see her again.

"Can you ever forgive me?"


The End