This fic is by Myrriden <sm39316@chs.mat-su.k12.ak.us>

First of all, I really don't see why this was posted in tiny increments.
Contrary to what one might think, breaking a story up into ten small
pieces will not result in ten times the C&C. If anything, tiny ficbits
are much more difficult to say anything meaningful about.

As to the story: I have no problem with non-standard matchups. (Hey, I
happen to be a proponent of Mousse/Azusa, myself. If that isn't
non-standard, I dunno what is.^_^ ) But what is lacking here, IMO, is
anything to make us believe that any of them could happen. There isn't
much attempt at justifying the choices made, and what little there is is
in the form of vague summaries, rather than actually showing us what
happened. It's always more effective to show rather than tell.

So in summary I would say. Okay, you've done the teasers. Now go and
write the real fic.

As usual with negative C&C, I feel I should point out that I bear no
hostility toward you (Myrriden) or your work, and I hope you keep
writing.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics