The Sacheen Littlefeather Literary Society
                        Week ending March 6, 1998


[Kissy Fox is lounging in the club room, her feet up on the table, humming
a happy tune.  Sly Fox is across the table leafing through a copy of this
weeks story while Scampering Fox and Passionate Fox play tic-tac-toe on the
back of another copy.]

Kissy: I guess everybody is here.

Sly: Yeah, Lusty went to the rifle range with Sensual, Huggy and Cuddles
are with Greg watching KU basketball on TV, and Big-Boobs is helping Kasumi
rearrange the family room.

Scampering: [Bored] What about Amorous?

Passionate: She's shopping you dope.  Where else?

Scampering: In this weather?

Passionate: [shrugging her shoulders] She figures that the snow will keep
folks away from the mall - more bargains for her.

[The pair giggle while Kissy bangs an empty Fosters beer bottle on the
table.]

Kissy: Okay, I call this meeting of the Sacheen Littlefeather Literary
Society to order.  This week we'll take up the tender little story of
Kasumi Tendo by someone named.... Ridgewolfe.

Sly: You're kidding.

Kissy: No, really.  It's right here under the title.

Sly: [Reading carefully] 'Late Night' By Ridgewolfe.  Does this mean it's a
story about something called 'Ridgewolfe' late at night with Kasumi Tendo?

Scampering: Wow!  That's quite a stretch for Kasumi.  I mean, to spend a
late night with a wolf of some sort on a ridge.

Kissy: [Irritated] Knock it off, you two.

Passionate: Well, why doesn't he or she just use their real name?

[All look at each other.]

Sly: Perhaps this person doesn't want to be known for this type of story. 
It could lead to a reputation, you know.

Scampering: Yeah, who'd want to be known for writing a waffy little story
about Kasumi anyway?

Kissy: Okay, okay, let's just get on with it. 

[Sly rolls up her sleeves.  Scampering and Passionate place many sharp
objects on the table in front of them.  Kissy just rubs her hands
together.]

Sly: We open this little tale with Kasumi in bed asleep.

Passionate: Objection, your honor.  She's just waking up.  Kasumi Tendo,
out of all the martial artists and various light sleepers in the house, is
the one to be awaken by a sound in the house.

Scampering: [chuckling] Yeah, imagine how 'out of it' the others must be
for them to sleep through something that could wake Kasumi.

Sly: Well, we find that Akane's not home, so I guess everyone feels like
they can sleep soundly with her out of the house.

Kissy: And the ponytail thing.  What's with that?  Obviously this
'Ridgewolfe' person is no female.

Scampering: Sleep in a ponytail and you've got a real mess, fella.  Tangle
city.  Check your manga or, at least, check out a movie or two.  Kasumi's
not stupid enough to sleep in a ponytail.

Sly: Yeah, and thinking how that burglar is in for a surprise.  HAH! 
Kasumi is the only defense the house has.  Everybody else is sound asleep.

Passionate: Except for the pig.  

Sly: Right.  Kasumi Tendo and a pint-sized pig are going to defend the
homestead from burglars.

Scampering: [Using her police officer voice.] Okay, you miscreant.  Come
out with your hands up or I'll send in the pig.

Sly: That'll flush him out.

Kissy: And what's with the bathrobe?  Since when do they use bathrobes in
Japan?

Sly: Well, in this series, they sleep in Western beds and each have their
own room.  So, I suppose Kasumi wearing a bathrobe isn't too far out of
line for such fantasies in Japan.

Scampering: This is not a good start to the story.

Sly: Oh, and one more thing.  I wonder if it ever occurred to this
Ridgewolfe person that Tokyo is the tinderbox of the universe.  He's got
Kasumi poking around a highly flammable old structure with an open flame.  
I mean, the only thing in that house that wouldn't burn is the plumbing and
the furo.  Perhaps a flashlight would be more in order.

Passionate: How about a lantern?

Scampering: [Disgustedly] This isn't the old west, you boob.

Passionate: Okay, how about a light stick?

Sly: Knock it off, you two.  

Kissy: Moving on.  We have Kasumi, in the middle of the night, with a
candle and a pig, stalking through the house in search of a burglar.  Am I
the only person who sees anything wrong with this picture?

Sly: And what room does she search first?

Passionate: Why, the kitchen, of course.  Gotta watch out for those
rice-ball bandits.

Scampering: [Giggling] Yeah, and the whole house sleeps through the odd
noise and Kasumi creeping about.

Sly: And what does Kasumi do first, with a burglar in the house?

Passionate: Why, make some hot tea, of course.  You don't want to be
impolite to a late-night Japanese burglar.

Scampering: And through all the water drawing, lighting the stove, and
starting the kettle, the house sleeps on.

Passionate: Don't forget the pig.  This little porker is making...
'bweed'ing noises? [Pauses with a strange look on her face] What's a
'bweed' noise?

Sly: [Resting her cheek on her fist] How about a pig with a sinus
condition?

Kissy: Okay, okay.  She finishes banging around in the kitchen with the
asthmatic pig...

Scampering: And the house sleeps on.

Kissy: Ahem, as I was saying: She finishes checking the downstairs, even
going so far as to check the front porch.

Sly: Maybe it's the paperboy throwing the morning Nerima News that made the
noise that woke Kasumi....

Scampering: ... that carried the pig that had the stuffy nose that lived in
the house that Soun built.

Kissy: [Sarcastically to a beaming Scampering] Very funny.

Passionate: Okay, we've got tea brewing on the stove, a possible burglar
roaming the house, Kasumi with her attack pig drifting from room to room
searching for him while carrying an open flame.  That about sum it up?

Sly: Don't forget the night-time pony-tail and the Western bathrobe.

Passionate: Oh, yeah.

Scampering: Ya know, this is a real nice story if you just forget it has
only a passing nod to the 'Ranma' series, Anime OR manga, and has more plot
holes than a DC Park Police investigation.  I mean, cripes guy, do some
research, for crying out loud.

Sly: And what's this about going up stairs to check on Soun?  The guy
sleeps down stairs!  Sheesh!  Kun-chan will have your head for that one.

Scampering: Unless he's basing this on the manga.  Then it comes under the
jurisdiction of Sebastian Weinberg.  Ridgewolfe is just lucky both of these
folks live from somewhere other than North America.

Kissy: Okay, he's a little soft of the facts.  Let's try to confine...

Sly: And finding Soun sleeping in a double bed he 'used to share with his
wife'.  A DOUBLE BED FOR TWO PEOPLE?  Look, even in Japan this would be
considered too close.  Make it a queen if you want it for two people.

Scampering: And the old man sleeps on.

Kissy: Now we move on to Nabiki's room. [Sigh] I can't believe this.

Sly: She has a computer.  Well, I guess all those ledger books are just for
show, huh?  I won't even mention the abacus she uses so often.  Yup, gotta
have one of those computers to augment my abacus and ledger books.

Passionate: And Nabiki falling asleep at her desk. [Rolls eyes] I mean,
come on!  Nabiki is far more 'in control' than that.

Kissy: [Sighing and throwing her copy of the story of the table] Am I the
only one who sees some real major problems with this story?

Sly: Like the whole premise?  Okay, I'll grant you that having Kasumi get
up in the middle of the night to reminisce about her life, her mother, and
such is a good one.  There might even be a good waffy story there.  But to
have her skulking around the Tendo residence in the middle of the night
with an open flame and an asthmatic pig, making tea and poking into every
room in the house is a bit much.

Scampering: The fact that no one in the house seems to be alert enough to
what's going on is REALLY bizarre.  By page 3, this story really slips over
into never-never land.

Passionate: You mean the part where Kasumi undresses a shivering cold
female Ranma without waking her up?

Scampering: Right.  Here we have the greatest martial artist in the world,
a man among men, who apparently can sleep through being man-handled and
stripped of his clothes WITHOUT SO MUCH AS STIRRING.  Think about it.  He
got snuck up on by a woman with a candle and an pig!  Kami help him if he
faces anyone more formidable.

Sly: Impossible! [Tosses her copy of the story on the table as well.] These
people could sleep through an earthquake, an B-29 carpet-bombing attack,...

Passionate: Well, at least, a candle carrying female with a snotty pig.
BWEEB!  BWEEB!

Sly: Hey, we could do a Road-Runner bit with that.  You know, like in that
movie 'Bye, Bye Birdie'.

Kissy: Yeah, where they give some potion to a turtle who takes off like a
jackrabbit.

Scampering: Sure, we could have Cologne or maybe Kodachi whip up a potion
and the pig gets into in by accident.  All night long he keeps going:
BWEEB-BWEEB! Ka-ching! And bounces off all the buildings in Nerima as he
zooms about.

[All laugh and trade further examples of cartoon humor.]

Kissy: Okay, enough fooling around.  It's getting late and I want to wrap
this up so I can get a shower before bed. [Looks through her story]  We're
up to the part where Kausmi goes into the kitchen and feels sorry for
herself.

Sly: Oh, yeah, the part where she wishes she had gone to medical school.
[Rolls her eyes again] I mean, where did *this* come from?  Yes, she's
borrowing books from Tofu-sensei.  Yes, they are medical books.  Did it
ever occur to you she was borrowing books from Tofu because SHE WANTED TO
SEE HIM?  Sheesh!  Medical school - of all things.  The girl just wanted an
excuse to visit her heart-throb at his clinic.  It's all so Japanese, you
see.

Passionate: I give up.

Scampering: Me too.

[All are silent.  So silent you can hear Greg down the hall screaming at
the ref's on TV for calling a foul on Paul Pierce.]

Kissy: Look!  I know he's made a few mistakes....

Scampering: [Incredulously] A FEW?

Kissy: Okay, more than a few. But his intention was good.  I mean, a story
where Kasumi does some introspection on her life is nice.  It gives the
character some depth and feeling.  You really want to feel for Kasumi in
this story.

Sly: I agree.  Kasumi has never really had her story told in a serious way
- taking into account the manga (or even the Anime) and showing it from
*her* point of view.

Passionate: And the feeling of helplessness because she doesn't have a
career planned for her IS A CROCK!  This is Japan!  Knowing how to run a
household IS a career in Japan.  It's a damn good career.  It's supposed to
be the ONLY career a woman needs to prepare for and Kasumi is damned well
prepared for hers.

Kissy: Okay, okay, [trying to calm down Passionate] he's screwed up a bunch
here.  So how does he fix it?

Sly: Chronologically or categorically?

Kissy: Whatever.

Passionate: Skip the middle of the night bit.  She can do this
introspection any time.  How about early in the morning.  She has to get up
earlier than the others anyway.  Why not then?

Scampering: And ditch the pig.  He adds nothing to this piece and is, at
best, a distraction.  Concentrate on Kasumi.  Get in her head.  Let me
*feel* what she's feeling.

Sly: She's got a good story to tell.  So, tell it.  Skip all the
distractions like late night visits to rooms. 

Passionate: Especially when you have no idea where those rooms are.

Sly: Right.  They may provide an excuse to discuss Kasumi's relationship
with these people but you could certainly do better than skulking around a
bunch of martial artists in the middle of the night and expecting them to
remain asleep throughout it all.

Scampering: Oh, and drop the Soun bit at the end.  Nice idea but it really
blows the whole point-of-view thing.  I mean, we shift from Kasumi to Soun
in the same chapter.  Not good.

Passionate: Do a little more research, set this story up another way and
try again.

Kissy: Yup, that's the recommendation we'll give.  Try again.

Others: Agreed.

Kissy: That's a wrap folks.  This meeting of the Sacheen Littlefeather
Literary Society is adjourned.

[Down in the TV room, the basketball game is drawing to its climax.]

Cuddles: YOU STINK, REF!

Huggy: What a lousy call, ya @#$%&*@#@#!

Greg: [A little annoyed, not to mention surprised at their language]
Take it easy.  It's just a game.

Cuddles: JUST A GAME?  It's the finals of the Big 12 Tournament!

Greg: [With a slight scowl] You've got money on this game, don't you?

Huggy: Well, Nabiki was willing to give us really good odds and points to
boot.

Cuddles: We just couldn't pass it up.

Greg: [Stunned] Nabi...  You bet with Nabiki?

Huggy: [Scrunching down in embarrassment] Well, yes.  But it was only a
small bet.

Greg: [Eyes narrowed] How small?

Cuddles: If we lose we have to... [whispers in Greg's ear].

[Greg's eyes go wide and his jaw drops.]

Greg: [Sputtering] You'd do *that* with Nabiki? [Turns aside] This may
change the next chapter of 'New Horizons'. [Turns back to Cuddles] What
does *she* have to do if she loses?

Huggy: [Happily] Take us shopping.

Cuddles: With her money.

Huggy: In Hawaii.

[Greg stares at the girls like they're either geniuses or real dolts.  He's
about to start rooting for Oklahoma when a large paper plane comes floating
into the room, its back half on fire.  They all watch as it makes a slow
circuit of the room before landing next to Greg's recliner.]

Greg: Aw for Pete's sake. [He grabs a glass of soft drink and douses the
fire] Is that the story the girls were working on?

Cuddles: Yeah, a real stinker.

Kissy: [From down the hall] Is that better Greg?

Greg: [with a sigh of resignation] I've just GOT to fireproof the carpet.

********** Greg's Corner **********

This has real potential.  I like the concept of Kasumi going over her
life and sharing her insights to the rest of the characters.  However,
I think you approached this poorly, failed to do your homework, and
allowed yourself to get distracted by pigs and Souns that really add
nothing to the story.
Go back and try again.  I'd really like to see this developed.  It could
turn out to be a classic.