Excellent idea. Very good introduction explaining Makoto's father. The
anger/rage/hate is a good explanation for the creation of Ifurita... in the
image of the daughter (if that's where you're going with it).

Hinosuke remembered it vividly, the first time he had stepped, well actually
fell into the strange world of El Hazard would forever stay in his memories,

I would use the word "Fallen" here instead of fell.

"Humph!  Not you too!  All my sisters tell me I'm small, and skinny and
such...but I'm just petite, that's all.  I'm not small, I'm young.  I'm not

<snicker> Another priestess with a quirk. Good one.

"I see.  I understand." The king motioned for the experiment to stop.
"Please, professor.  Find out immediately how this Eye of God works.  It may
have been divine intervention that we had dug up this weapon from beneath
the burning desert and now we must use it in the same way our ancestors had
used it."  The king left immediately, leaving all the consequences of
activating an unknown evil into the world of El Hazard to the professor.

Interesting. So who created it in the first place. Do you know? ^_~

Very good. I'm watching for the next part.

  ___________
 / Here lies:\  Time Travel: A perfectly good way to ruin someone's
|   Andrew    |              history.
|             | 
|   I think   |       Andrew Petalik {ICQ ID: 160869}
| he's hungry | Jadzia Dax    : Don't worry, I have a light touch. 
|             | Julien Bashir : Not according to Worf...