SPOOF CHASE PRODUCTIONS
(http://spoof.maison-otaku.net/)
PRESENTS...
Slayers REFLECT :
Episode 1
Convention of Power! Lina has a Good Day and a Bad Day
A Slayers Fanfic Series by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne
(All characters copyright H. Kanzaka / R. Araizumi,
obviously. If I ever even considered claiming that these
were my own characters I'd probably be thrown into a small
cell where I'd be forced to eat my own garage kits to live.)
--> Check out the HTML version at http://pixelscapes.com/slayers <--
-=-
AUTHOR'S NOTES.
Yahooie! Welcome to my first non-Ranma, non-ASCII, non-lotta
things attempt at fanfiction. I've got better author's notes available
at the above addresses; note that this fanfic will be written first
on the web (You get to read early copies of new episodes if you tune
in), then when finished and satisfactory, will be posted to the Fanfic
ML and Slayers ML. At a future date, when I'm POSITIVE it's in
finished form, I'll post episodes to Rec.Arts.Anime.Creative. Pardon
the 79 column wide text; an unpleasant side effect of my new editor.
Confusing? Then ignore all that and just enjoy the story. Send
comments / criticism / pipe bombs and death threats to :
twoflowr@glue.umd.edu
-=-
Somewhere beneath the shining sun, somewhere in the green and fertile
lands the world, somewhere in the city/state of Sailoon, somewhere on the
grounds of the Happy Traveler's Mega-Inn and Conference Center, something
exploded.
It was a very impressive explosion. There was just the right amount of
BOOM, just the right amount of fire and bright light. It had a pleasant
deafening quality to it, and there was plenty of smoking shrapnel tossed
about dramatically. The judges were quite impressed, and scored it a 4.3,
4.4, 4.7, and 3.0. (The Atlass City judges always scored low.)
The competition was down to four finalists, out of the two hundred
sorcerers who were attending MagiCon 5. Whoever won this final round of
'Freestyle Destructive Magic' would take home the coveted Magus Statue, a
cash prize, and get the envy of every other two-bit magician, sorcerer
warlord and practitioner of the arcane arts at the convention. Truly, a
great feat indeed.
The second competitor stood up to the platform, behind the white line
as the innkeeper's servants nervously replaced the smoking remains of the
target with a fresh, whole one. Then they ran for their very lives, as the
sorcerer charged up a sickly green light around his body, and unleashed a
bolt of power that tore through the air like a dagger of sheer lightning...
When everybody could see after the explosion, there was a red and white
melted puddle where the target was. Good scores all around, 4.8's and
4.7's.
The third competitor went even farther, doing a twirl and pose before
screaming to the heavens, his hair glowing yellow and shooting up against
the force of gravity. A ball of unfiltered might formed in his hands, and
he cast it at the target, kicking up a shock wave that cracked windows for
three blocks around before punching through the target, the wall behind it,
the building behind that and causing a shop of extremely fragile and
expensive glassware to explode into powder.
4.9s across the board. He would be the clear winner.
While the servants traced various holy sigils for luck in the air
between them and the proving grounds, the fourth competitor stepped up to
the platform. She really wasn't much to look at; some girl, maybe
fourteen, maybe fifteen. Barely any figure to speak of, a very
unflattering yellow and purple sorceress's costume, like you'd see on a kid
at Halloween. She had fiery orange hair, and a somewhat unusual smirk...
and before the servants had even gotten off the battlefield, a red aura
flared up around the girl. She was chanting something, a LONG spell, but
not one anybody could hear from that distance. Strange, the observers
thought, how could some kid that young lea--
"DRAGON SLAAAAAAAVEE!!"
Nobody was conscious to see what happened, but the aftermath left the
walls of the arena flattened, the competitors tossed around the landscape,
one city block in flaming ruin, and all that was left of one of the judges
was a pair of smoking boots.
But there was a 5.0 in front of those smoking boots, which was equaled
by each judge after they woke up. 5.0, 5.0, 5.0.
The winner was Lina Inverse.
[*]
Known throughout the land as the infamous Lina Inverse, Bandit Killer
(and sometimes known as 'someone even a dragon wouldn't mess with') (and
sometimes as 'the enemy of all who live') (and frequently as 'the flat
chested terror') has carved a name for herself in history books. Not the
RIGHT kind of history books, mind you, but the kind that go on and on about
heroic deeds and quests and slayings of dragons, along with lots of Thees
and Thous. She doesn't really set out to do that sort of thing, it just
tends to happen along the way.
Not much is known publicly about her, background or otherwise. She
started to show up in the magic 'scene' five years ago, just a kid at the
time, doing random mercenary deeds and annihilating local bands of
robbers. Nobody's sure of her exact age (soon to be eighteen) because she
still looks like a young girl, or in hushed whispers where she can't hear,
a young boy. She's been involved in the near destruction and sudden saving
of the entire world on more than one occasion, and is rumored to be
everything from the savior of the land to the Lord of Nightmares
incarnate. That's not entirely far off the mark. Either of them.
Anybody who knows her close would know that her behavior upon winning
the Freestyle Destructive Magic competition was quite normal. Lina bounced
her way back to her inn room on the second floor of the convention center,
handling her new trophy like the Turin Shroud. She was giddy. Awash with
a wave or six of delight, she set the trophy down in front of her window,
so it would A) catch the light and glint just so, and B) be seen by all the
other sorcerers at the con and thus envied with shades of green rivaled
only by the grass on the other side. As far as Lina was concerned, she was
ON that other side right now, waving to everybody else.
"I KNEW I'd win, naturally," Lina said, ego inflating to 500 PSI.
"After all, there are very few spells that can compare to my Dragon Slave!"
The lanky blond-haired man who wandered in to the room after her was
looking too worried to comment about that. "I really hope the hotel
doesn't bill us the damages," he said. "Some of those shopkeepers looked
really mad."
(Lanky there is actually Gourry Gabriev, noted swordsman and heroic
nice guy. He's been spotted traveling with Lina for the last few years, as
bodyguard, guardian, punching bag, comic relief and human shield. He's
considerably taller than Lina, has a dull glaze over his eyes most of the
time and really likes jellyfish.)
"Relax, Gourry! It all falls under the con's insurance policy," Lina
smiled, giving him a thumbs up. "Don't worry so much! This is MAGICON
FIVE! The time for us doers of magic and casters of rituals to kick back,
enjoy a refreshing beverage, and unwind."
"...but I'm not a doer of ritual or a caster of magic, Lina." Gourry
said, having a seat on his bed. (Lina was forced to light the innkeeper on
fire when he made some untoward comment about her wanting separate beds for
herself and Gourry.)
"Eh, there's stuff for you here too. Did you check out the dealer's
room? They must have six bazillion Magic Swords!"
"I like mine already," Gourry said, fingering his Sword of Light(tm)
protectively.
Lina rooted through the packet of con materials she got (a map, a
schedule and a coupon worth ten percent off anything bought at Stan's
Previously Owned Sacrificial Altars), looking for her tiny paper of
carefully scrawled notes. "There's plenty to do. You could go socialize,
or something. Or go to a panel. Or AAAA! I'm late I'm late gotta go
later Gourry!"
"Anoooo..." Gourry commented, watching Lina frantically scramble around
the room to fetch things. "I.. guess I'll just sit up here, then."
As her final act before shooting out of the room at near the speed of
sound, Lina circled something on the schedule and handed it to Gourry.
"Try that." Then she fled.
Blinking in surprise, Gourry's mind slowly, slowly caught up to what
had gone on, and looked at the paper in his hand.
"'Sidekick's Discussion Panel'??" he asked aloud, dumbfounded.
[*]
A blur of orange, yellow and purple dashed down the halls of the Happy
Traveler. No magic was involved, just a lot of determination, a lot of
sugar and a lot of 'spunk.' Elevators hadn't been invented yet except for a
few comedically disastrous efforts at rigging a 'magical lift' which left
passengers in a thin paste at the top of the elevator shaft, so the
Linaesque Blur was forced to take the stairs.
It snapped to a sudden halt, ignoring the laws of inertia, at the back
of a large gathering crowd in the main ballroom. Most of the sorcerers
that were attending the weekend outing were here, to see the Big Thing.
Several reporters from local newspapers were also present, along with some
wannabe historians, pens ready to start scribing Thees and Thous for
generations of adventure-crazed history buffs to read.
An imposing figure stood high above all others, on a raised platform to
address the crowd. The podium looked like a child's toy in front of his
impressive bulk. Lina recognized him immediately and was glad he didn't
recognize her from that distance.
"On this, the 500th Anniversary of Sailoon's foundation, I, Prince
Philonel the Just do hereby...." then he got lost in his notes and had to
fumble through a half-dozen little cards before picking up again.
"...time. As you no doubt know, we have recovered the Legendary Oracle's
Mirror of Sailoon, one of the many ancient magical artifacts our
forefathers used to guide our people through centuries of golden peace!!"
Everybody knew this; it was printed on all the flyers for MagiCon 5
that the Oracle's Mirror would be unveiled after its recent recovery from
the ruins of a nearby temple. That wasn't the important bit.
"And now, to explain more about the mirror and its magical
significance," introduced Phil, moving right along to the important bit,
"Is the esteemed Royal Astrologer of Sailoon, Mr. Melvin Mallorean!"
There was a halfhearted smattering of applause, as the young man with
excessively thick seeing lenses shuffled up to the podium, and got his
(even less) organized notes together. He wasn't cut out for public
speaking. He wasn't cut out for sunlight. He belonged to the class of
sorcerers known as 'Giiks', which was ancient for 'nebbishly pale man who
sits in his parent's basement for years and plays with magic and doesn't
know how to talk to girls'.
"Ummm... thanks," he started, not sure how to properly react. "Ah..
Well. The Oracle's Mirror, as most of you know, was made with a form of
magic lost in time known as Mirror Lore. Like the three primary arts,
Black Magic, White Magic and Shamanism, it was a commonly practiced form of
ancient times. But, um, it's gone now. Because people forgot to write it
down, we think."
He paused. Melvin had read a book somewhere which said you could use
pauses to keep your audience enthralled. It wasn't working. He probably
had paused too long. Oh dear.
"Anyway," he continued, "The mirror is one of a kind. The ancient
rulers of Sailoon used to use it to examine what the best and worst case
outcomes of any decision might be. It gave them visions of them, I mean.
So they'd know what the risks might be."
"And so they ruled in wisdom and knowledge through the benefit of such
powers!!" Phil interrupted in mighty tones, causing Melvin to nearly fall
over in surprise.
"Uh... right, right," Melvin nodded. "Anyway. We're trying to keep it
safe, you see, it's very fragile so..... we won't be unveiling it today
like we had planned."
Collective groans went up from the audience at large, as well as a few
off-color remarks about Melvin's lineage. He blushed furiously and
continued.
"Starting tomorrow we'll allow each of you ten minutes to study the
mirror as carefully as you can, and, um, see if you can figure out anything
about Mirror Magic," he said. "And.... that's it. Are there any
questions?"
Lina's hand shot up.
"Uhh, yes?" Melvin asked, standing on his tiptoes to see Lina over the
podium. "The kid in the back?"
Lina fumed quietly about the 'kid' remark, but asked her question
anyway. "What about Silverquick's Tome of Mirror Lore? Did you find that
too?"
"Uh. What's that?"
"It's the name of the only book relating to Mirror Magic left in the
world, Mr. Expert. Duh. Everybody's heard of it!"
The other magicians, thaumataologists and hedge wizards nodded in
agreement with Lina, murmuring to themselves.
"Uh... oh. That book, uh, hai. I'm not aware of that book," Melvin
flushed, tugging at his collar. "Which means, um, no. We didn't find it.
It wasn't with the mirror."
"Then where is it?" Lina asked.
"Still lost... um. Yes, still lost, I'd guess."
Grumbling spread through the crowd like peanut butter.
[*]
On a disused broom closet, away from the main action of the convention,
a sign hung on a doorknob. It read 'SIDEKICKS WELCOME'.
Inside the cramped quarters, Gourry sipped watered down punch,
listening to his peers discuss. Whine, actually.
"I tell you, it's enough to drive you batty!" a scarred mercenary
spat. "'Thug, do this. Thug, do that,' she says. Like I'm some common
minion! I'm a card carrying GOON, thank you very much. I didn't go to
school for three years to be called a THUG!"
An even more scarred little boy with no body hair twitched slightly,
and nodded. "I hear you, brother. Every day my master makes me help him
with his alchemy experiments. I'm telling you, if I hadn't gotten very
good at emerging from comas, I wouldn't be here today."
"How about you, friend?" the thug asked Gourry. "How's your role
treating you?"
"Huh?" Gourry asked, lowering his punch. "Oh, not bad. I carry the
heavy stuff and I cut apart monsters and things. And I get to see all
sorts of places around the world."
The thug fehed. "The old 'See the sights' gag. Yeah, I got suckered
by that one too."
"No, really, it's not bad at all," Gourry said. "Lina doesn't mistreat
me."
The other sidekicks in the room cowered and sank back towards the walls
in fright.
"Lina...?"
"Lina INVERSE?"
"You're LINA INVERSE'S sidekick?!"
"Good god! You're a braver man than I!"
"How is it you're still breathing and have your original four limbs?!"
Gourry tried to quiet the group down, and continued. "Honestly, I
don't have too many complaints. I mean, she's built like a washboard and
sometimes she hits me and calls me names, but... uh.."
The burned Alchemist's understudy went tisk-tisk. "She's got you
strung along for abuse city, man. You shouldn't put up with that sort of
thing."
"Ano?" Gourry asked, scratching his head. "What sort of thing?"
"Hitting you! Calling you names! Like you said!"
"But I said I'm not being mistreated."
The thug shook his head, leaning forward to talk to Gourry in close,
personal, I'm Your Friend ways. "Pal, that is mistreatment. I mean, look
at me. I get called things like idiot, letch, hoser, dimwit, cuttlefish--"
"You too?"
"Yeah! I mean, you can't just take that kind of abuse. It's not
fair!" the thug spat again. "I ain't afraid of no Lina Inverse, and you
shouldn't be either. You need to stand up to that little witch, and go,
like, 'DAMMIT, GIRL! YOU SIT YOUR BITCH ASS DOWN, AND MAKE ME SOME PIE!!'"
"Have you ever told your boss that?" Gourry asked.
"...no," the thug admitted. "She'd probably fire me if I did."
Gourry nodded, figuring as much. But still, they had a point. Lina
did yell at him a lot, and hit him sometimes... but she wasn't a bad
person. No, not at all. True, she did destroy a hunk of the city today,
but she was just showing off, which isn't a bad... well, okay, maybe a
little of a bad thing, but...
While the other sidekicks complained about lack of proper respectable
titles in Sidekicking, Gourry sat in silence while his slower than average
mind puzzled over this thought. He wasn't a stupid man, not by a league.
Just a little slow. But squatting for a few hours of hard thought can do
wonders regardless of speed.
[*]
Wizards chattered in the main lobby, mostly discontented rumblings.
Nobody was pleased with the announcement.
"What's the point of showing a magic mirror to a bunch of industry
specialists if the manual's gone?" Lina asked her companion. "And ten
minutes of studying?? What can you figure out in ten minutes? Not the whole
of one of the legendary lost lores, I tell you, Jack!"
"My name isn't Jack."
"It's a figure of speech, Zelgadis," Lina groaned.
The figure sitting opposite of her shrugged. "So the book is gone.
Odds are most of the people here will take off early to start looking for
it. Likely they won't succeed, considering it's been a few centuries since
Silverquick's Tome of Mirror Lore was written and no clues exist."
"Bummer," Lina agreed. "What do you want Mirror Magic for, anyway?"
Zel blinked. "Isn't it obvious?"
"No, what?"
"I'm not getting any pinker, am I?" Zelgadis asked, gesturing to his
face. Which was greenish blue.
Someone who's part golem, part chimera and part human isn't uncommon.
They're incredibly rare. Zelgadis, in fact, was the only one of his kind,
made this way after a magical deal gone wrong, leaving him with a rocky
complexion to say the least. He'd been traveling the lands looking for
some kind of magic that would turn him back into a human, coincidentally
wandering around with Lina Inverse a few times, but hadn't found anything
that worked. (Lina's got a lot of random friends. You'll get used to them
popping up from time to time.)
"White Magic, Black Magic, and Shamanism," Zelgadis counted off on his
fingers. "Three lores, none of which have a transformation spell powerful
enough to overcome my curse. There's other minor lores, but I've exhausted
the list of those. But Mirror Magic... that's a lore which might work."
"I haven't actually read anything about it, I just figured it'd be fun
to learn," Lina beamed.
"'Fun'?" Zel asked, puzzled.
"Of course!" Lina said. "New magic gives you something to practice,
and yet another thing to smack bad guys around with, or get yourself a lot
of money and good food! I'm always looking for new magic to fiddle around
with."
"I need it to restore my body after a horrible magical curse, and all
you want it for is.. kicks?"
"Sure," Lina grinned ear to ear. "Can't hurt, ne?"
Zelgadis sighed. "Anyway, I suppose it'll be lost for another few
centuries. Not much point in me hanging around here." He got up, adjusted
his cloak and pulled the hood over his head. At the con, it was accepted
that everybody's going to look a little odd, but outside he really didn't
want to be chased by a mob with pitchforks and torches.
Lina, however, got up to stop him. "Ne, ne, Zel! You don't need to
run off so soon. There's going to be a dance tonight, and a feast! And
there's still plenty of challenges and wizard's games and panels."
"I don't care about any of that," Zel noted. "I'm not exactly a party
animal."
"You're always so gloomy, no matter how much I try to cheer you up,"
Lina pouted. "Okay. I'll make you a deal. Stay tonight, come with me and
Gourry to the party, we'll have a good time... and I'll buy you a Rezo
plushie at the dealer's room to torture in any way you see fit."
Zelgadis shrugged. "I'm not exactly a doll collector, either."
"Pleeeeeeeease, Zel-kun?"
He considered a moment, scratching his chin with a sound like two rocks
scraping together. "I suppose."
"Weehoo!" Lina cheered, waving little V signs with her hands. "Just
you wait, Zel. We'll get some punch into you, have some really inane
smalltalk, show off a little and you'll feel a LOT better!"
Zel shook his head, and allowed himself a rare chuckle. "We'll see."
[*]
Night falls over the Happy Traveler Inn like a bushel of ripe
tomatoes : Loud, splashy and with a lot of color. All irritated
mumbling over the main attraction being a great egress was swept away by
the other centerpiece of the con : The All Sorcerer's Dance and Karoke
Night.
Wizards are easy to spot at large social occasions; they blend into the
wallpaper, mumble to themselves and have difficulty approaching the
opposite sex. Sometimes they'll try to impress people with minor acts of
magic, flashy tricks that arouse oos and aas but don't get them hooked up
for the night. Power is sexy, but only to a point.
However, when a large group consisting entirely of sorcerers is the
norm for a party, anything goes. There's no need to impress others (well,
more than sorcerers normally do), no need to make annoying smalltalk with
laymen, just a bunch of similar minded folks getting down with their bad
selves and dancing to something not quite entirely unlike the rhythm of the
music. Fortunately, the music was being supplied by Mystical Marvin and
his All Telekinesis Driven Band, so there wasn't much chance of all the
instruments playing the same harmony, much less at the same beat.
Lina, who naturally was outgoing and friendly, was amplified even
moreso when the party rolled around and she dragged a semireluctant pair of
Gourry and Zelgadis along with her. The normally slightly hyperactive
sorceress turned into the human superball as the night progressed.
"WEEEEEEHOOOOO!!!!" Lina intellectually commented in daring critique,
taking a moment aside from the dance floor with her two escorts (who had
yet to actually venture into the fray). "Now, this is my kind of crowd!
And did you see the size of that buffet table?!"
"I almost did, before it disappeared down your throat," Zelgadis dryly
commented.
"This punch tastes funny," Gourry wetly commented. "What's in it?"
Zelgadis swished some in his mouth, thinking. "Water, apple juice,
cranberry juice, fructose syrup, corn starch, sucrose extract, various
sweeteners and vodka."
"Oh," Gourry nodded, understanding all of that. "What's vodka?"
"Who cares? It's a PARTY!" Lina cheered. (Considering how her skin
was quickly approaching a nice shade of red, she had sampled the fructose
syrup a few times by that point.) "C'mon, Gourry, let's dance!!"
"Okay," Gourry nodded. Then his brain caught up with him. "Whoa,
wait. I don't know how t--"
Lina had already grabbed his arm and by laws of party physics, was able
to haul a body 4/3rds her size and weight onto the dance floor
effortlessly. Gourry stared as the dozens of magicians grooving in neat
costumes in absolute fright, like a deer pinned in torchlights, while Lina
started to hop around to one of the beats.
"It's easy!" she encouraged him. "Don't just stand there, move!"
"Where do you want me to move to?" Gourry asked in a small, terrified
voice.
"Move your body around, like this! Shake your booty, dammit!"
"But you don't have any booty to shake," Gourry noted honestly.
Lina fumed. "FIREBALL!!!" she chanted / yelled, lobbing a tiny (but
effective) blast of flames at Gourry's feet.
He jumped out of the way to dodge, landing on one foot. "Yaaa! Lina,
be careful!"
"Dance, Gourry!" she laughed manically, flicking a half dozen more
marble-sized fireballs his way. Soon Gourry was playing the age old game
of 'get funky or be burned alive', and playing it well. A few drunken
wizards laughed and enjoyed the show while Gourry tried to convince his
heart not to seize.
"OI! LINA INVERSE!!" a voice boomed from within the crowd.
Pausing, Lina turned to see a thug (who technically had gone to school
for three years to be a goon) shoving his way through the throng. He stood
resolutely in front of her, a couple heads taller.
"Ne, did you call me?" Lina asked.
"Damn well I did!" he spat. "You've got no right treating Gourry that
way! Now cut it out before I turn you over my knee and spank you, you
underdeveloped brat!"
A wiiiide circle was formed around the goon, most wizards knowing the
blast range of any number of black magic attacks by heart.
"Oi... oi!" Gourry interrupted, waving his hands. "I'm fine, really!
There's no need for this--"
"WHAT did you call me?" Lina inquired.
"You heard me, kid!" the goon snarled quite menacingly. "Now you
behave yourself and quit picking on him or I'll send you crying home to
mommy with--"
"MEGA VOLTO!"
Very few people have the rare treat of witnessing an indoor lightning
storm. In Hampton's Book of Freak Weather Conditions, it ranks in rarity
somewhere between ball lightning and showers of frogs. However, always one
to buck the odds, Lina whipped one up right there on the spot, pumping a
fair number of volts into the goon and a few others who had the unfortunate
mispleasure of being nearby. After the shock wave had passed, a few
twitching, smoking forms littered the dance floor, leaving Lina looking
satisfied.
"Much better," she smiled. "So! Let's party!"
The wizards stared in relative shock.
"Oi! I said, LET'S PARTY!" Lina demanded. And judging from the
previous scene, nobody was about to argue. Servants hustled the victims
off to the infirmary and everybody went back to dancing, socializing and
getting completely drunk, and all was well. Nodding, as things resumed
normality, Lina went back to her table, Gourry in tow.
Sitting where they had left him, Zelgadis observed Lina's approach,
sipping his punch. When they arrived, he spoke. "So, did you have fun,
Lina?"
"Other than that little interruption, sure," Lina grinned. "They're
gonna have Karoke later. You should try singing, Zel-kun! It's fun!"
"No," Zelgadis said, putting his cup down and standing. "I'm leaving."
With that, he weaved through the crowd at an ordinary pace, and
disappeared through the door marked EXIT.
"Anooo..." Gourry started, looking up from patting out small fires in
his clothing, "What's gotten into him?"
[*]
The night air was still and calm, compared to the roaring fiasco
indoors.
Zelgadis leaned against the railing of the balcony, taking a deep
breath. Studying the moon. Listening to crickets chirp, listening to the
faint music drifting through the doorway. It was almost like a different
world out here, compared to the madcap antics he had witnessed over the
weekend. Out here was just the rest of Sailoon, loaded with civilians. A
relaxing thought.
He knew immediately whose shadow was cast through the doorway,
interrupting his thoughts.
"Hello, Lina," he nodded, without turning around.
"You're missing the fun, Zel-kun," Lina said. "Come on, let's go back
in."
"I'm not in a partying mood," he replied. "Should've listened to me
when I said I wasn't much for this sort of thing. Sorry I put a damper on
your good time..."
"Eh, it's fine," Lina smiled, walking over and hopping onto the
railing, having a seat.
Zel backed up a step. "Careful. You could fall there. It's only one
story, but that's enough to break your neck."
"Always a pessimist!" Lina laughed, rocking on her precarious perch.
"A realist," Zelgadis noted, folding his arms. "Don't you ever worry
about anything?"
"Not if I don't have to," Lina shrugged. "I don't see the reason to
panic about every little thing."
"Not panicking. That's worrying too much," Zelgadis said. "I'm
talking about basic concerning. You never bother with that."
"What?"
The boy opened his mouth to speak.. then closed it, and shook his
head. "Nevermind. I'm going to head to my room for the night, Lina.
Later."
"Whoa, hold up," Lina protested, hopping down from the railing.
"What's on your mind? You've got one of those 'I'm Thinking Really Deep
Thoughts But Don't Want To Share Them' looks. I can read it like a book."
"You wouldn't be interested in what I have to say. And I don't want to
offend you."
"Awww, come on!" Lina pouted. "Try me. I won't bite."
"Biting I could handle..." Zel mused. He sighed, and gave in. "You
really annoy me sometimes, Lina."
"Eh?" Lina asked, surprised. "Me, annoying?"
"Not annoying, exactly.." he continued, trying to piece together his
thoughts into words. "Just.. frustrate? Maybe that's it. Let's take
stock.."
Lina nodded. "Go on."
"I'll use this weekend as a case example," Zel continued. "During this
convention, you blew up a city block, electrocuted a few people, raised a
roof or two, shot fire at Gourry--"
"What, that?" she laughed. "Come ON, Zel--"
"How old are you, Lina?" Zel broke in with.
Lina considered. "Welll... I'm going to be eighteen in a month or so.
Boy! It's been, what, three years since I bumped into you first? Heh.
I-"
"You act like you're twelve," Zelgadis said. "Like a kid."
"Hey! I am NOT--"
"Yes, you are. I'm telling you that to your face. Are you going to
blow me up now?"
Lina got quiet.
Zelgadis looked up a bit, studying the night sky. "All your life, or
at least the parts I've seen and I have yet to see any evidence to the
contrary, you've done things that seem like a good idea at the time.
Trying not to bother with messy cause and effect if you can avoid it. And
each time, you.. get away with it. Things get messy, but you manage to get
serious just in time, and eventually everything's fine despite it all.
Like you were born under a lucky star. You follow?"
"I follow," Lina nodded, regaining her footing in the conversation.
"Okaaaay... so... maybe I'm a LITTLE irresponsible. But what does it
matter? I'm young yet, and there's so much to do in life! Things to
learn, places to see, food to eat, and so on! And like you said, I'm
lucky. Even when things get really dangerous it's all good in the end.
What do you want me to do? Constantly freak out and worry?"
"I didn't say that."
"You implied it."
"No, I didn't," Zel denied. "I'm not good at expressing this sort of
thing... look.. I'm just warning you, okay? Watch it. I acted a bit like
you once, when I was younger. Always wanted to be stronger, to do things
my way, be the best."
"Well, good for you! If--"
"So I made a deal with Rezo to be stronger, figuring it couldn't hurt,
and now I'm a chimera instead of a human," he finished.
"...oh," Lina said, her train of thought derailed.
A pause held over the two of them, Lina muddling over that for a bit.
The crickets continued to chirp.
"I don't want you to think I hate you," Zelgadis said. "I guess
there's nothing innately wrong with living carefree. I'm simply worried
there'll come a time when the other shoe is gonna drop, and you won't be
ready for it. Not in the slightest."
Lina considered this, in quiet shock. "Well, that's.. that's very
caring of you, Zel-kun."
"I don't care about you," Zel quickly said. "I'm just making an
observation, because you asked me to. And now I'm going to my room to
think and to sleep."
Zelgadis turned and headed for the door, quietly. And was stopped with
a hand on his shoulder.
"No, you aren't," Lina said. "Let's go back in."
"I'd rather not."
Lina smiled. "You're the one saying I need to think more about what
I'm doing, right? Well, I think you need a good time whether you admit it
or not. Those folks don't care if you're a chimera, and we're all
friends. It's the best opportunity. So, in your own interest, I hereby
order you to try and have some well-deserved fun."
"And if I refuse?"
"I might blow you up, ne?" she joked.
Zelgadis managed a smile.
"I suppose if I must," he agreed.
"Thaaat's more like it. Ne, you really do worry too much, Zel-kun.
Now's not the time for that sort of thing," Lina said. "It's just a
convention! What could possibly go wrong?"
Thunder immediately tore across the sky like a hammer blow of the gods,
a fork of lightning stabbing through the heart of an ancient oak tree
sitting in the courtyard of the inn. The tree split down the middle,
crashing to the ground loudly, splintered wood tossed for yards around.
The echo rumbled across the land ominously, carried across the tallest
mountains and the lowest valleys...
"Lina, you can let go of my head now," Zel said, muffled by the spooked
sorceress that was clinging to him.
[*]
Lamps were lit all around the inn, as the party raged on into the
night. Eventually, all sane people (like the staff) had gone to bed; only
a few straggling wizards remained to enjoy drinks, more bad music, and
atmosphere. Zel, still refusing to admit he was having a good time, went
up to his room a few minutes before; Lina could tell, though, that he at
least had an enjoyable time, if not a thrilling delight a minute amusement
blast-o-rama. But...
"Ne, Gourry, do you think I abuse you?"
The swordsman looked up from the paper dolls he was trimming out of a
set of napkins out of boredom. "Eh?"
"Like that guy was going on about," Lina said. "Kept babbling about..
well, a lot of objectionable things, but how I shouldn't, you know, fry you
and stuff."
"Oh, I don't mind," Gourry said. "You haven't killed me yet!"
"Night's still young," Lina grinned evilly.
Gourry cowered slightly.
"Joke, joke!" Lina laughed. "Relax. Hey, want to go on a little
adventure?"
"Actually... yeah, I'd like to," Gourry said. "I really haven't had
much to do around here. What's up? A bandit tribe outside of town?"
"No, we're going to defeat the inn's security and get a look at that
mirror," Lina beamed.
"I see. So, we're-- WHAT?!"
"Like I said. Ten minutes? Feh!" Lina fehed. "Silverquick's book is
gone, and all we have is the product of his genius. That's not much, but
if I have a few hours to study it, maybe I figure out how it was made. Of
course, to do that, we'll need to sneak into the room they're holding it
in."
"Lina, is that such a good idea? I mean, what if we get caught?"
"Oh, that's easy. I'll just say a lecherous older man tricked my poor,
innocent self into doing it."
"Ah! Brilliant! Ano.. what older man?"
"You, of course."
"Oh. Uh. Okay."
[*]
Security actually wasn't much of a problem. There were two guards
posted outside the door, which Lina cast a sleep spell on from afar. They
cuddled up adorably on either side of the portal, allowing Lina and Gourry
to walk right in; and get caught by the guard who was INSIDE the room.
Lina tried to seduce him into letting them in with a honed Kawaii, Innocent
and Vulnerable act, and when that clearly failed, simply bonked him over
the head and continued along.
"What IS all this stuff?" Gourry asked, poking at the various altars,
statues and display cases around the room.
Lina pulled some white sheets off of various objects, looking for the
mirror. "It's the Artifact Display Room. Sort of a showcase for the state
of the art in magic... wow, they have an iconograph!" She took the small
box with a circular hole in the front off its display pedestal, and aimed
it at Gourry. "Smile!"
"Smile? Wh--"
*KAFLINK*
"AAAAARGHH! I'm blind!!" Gourry screamed, falling to his knees and
scrabbling at his eyes. "Oh, god!!"
Lina pulled a slip of paper out from the machine, and put it back.
"Wow, they weren't kidding. The light spell in these things is really
powerful... ne, look, look!"
"I can't! My eyes have been burned out of their sockets!"
"No, you just have to open them."
"Eh?" Gourry asked, blinking a few times. "Oh.. I see. I mean, I can
see now. Whoa! That's me!" he exclaimed, taking the picture of a very
shocked Gourry from Lina's hands.
"Yeah, it's a magical-image-making-box. Woodcut artists will be out of
a job in five years, mark my words," Lina grinned.
"It also makes a great weapon!" Gourry observed.
There was also an amazing stick which could project a lead ball
hundreds of yards by detonating a small amount of black powder, complete
with an attached device with a set of glass circles that let you see for
hundreds of yards and project a tiny red dot from a focused light spell
where you aimed.
"I don't get it. Why would you want to throw a little ball that far?"
Gourry asked.
"Maybe it's a new kind of marbles game."
Next to that was an amazing box which could do mathematics when you
pushed number-buttons on it and pulled a handle, writing the answer on a
strip of tape with magical ink.
"Hmmm... 2 + 2 - 56 / 12.4. What's it say the answer is?" Lina asked,
poking buttons.
"Six."
"(100 * 34) + 12?"
"Six."
"121 raised to the power of nine?"
"Six again."
"...three plus three?"
"Uh, it's just giving me a little 'E'."
"Needs work, I think."
A large oblong box with six sides sat next to that. It had a number of
rubber tubes going in and out of the box, and a lid with three hinges.
Inside was a small farm animal and a set of bells, attaches to several
levers on the outside with circular grips. The sign in front of it simply
read 'MARITAL AID'.
"Isn't Marital Arts that fighting form they practice off in the east or
something?" Gourry asked.
"No, it's... yes. Yes it is, Gourry."
"Oh, okay."
Nearby was an amazing wooden barrel with an internal, perpetually
driven whirlwind. A long tube was hooked up to it which could suck
anything up if you turned on the handle. It could roll around on little
wheels that could handle rugs, carpet, wood or cement. The sign read 'DIRT
DEVIL.'
"I hope there really isn't a devil in there. That'd be dangerous,"
Gourry said. "Um.. what is it we're here to see again?"
"The mirror!"
"Oh. Is that it?" Gourry said, pointing to a drape-covered object that
stretched from floor to ceiling and had a large sign on it reading 'THE
MIRROR'.
"..." Lina agreed.
[*]
The mirror itself was impressive, magic aside. It stood twelve feet
tall, an ornate rectangle of pure reflection, with circular notches out of
each corner. It was, of course, surrounded by entirely too much ornate
gold trim, with carved icons of the founders of Sailoon, various heavenly
bodies, some women that the sculptor was trying to herd into his bedroom at
the time, and so on.
Lina examined the surface, running her eyes along it, and found that to
be a difficult task. It was impossible to tell that a plane of glass stood
between her and the reflection of her; the mirror was ground flawlessly.
The light didn't bounce off it, or leave any telltale glare. She was
almost tempted to reach through the alleged surface and touch the other
side...
Gourry was just concerned with getting a good shave.
"Put that away!" Lina barked, slapping the knife out of his hand.
"We're here on business."
"But I forgot to this morning," Gourry complained. "I don't want to
look scruffy."
"This isn't a mirror for freshening up! It's a powerful artifact of a
time when magic ruled the world!" Lina reminded him. "It's one of the only
bits of physical evidence we've got that the legendary lost lores are
anything more than, well, legends. Now hush up, I need to study this."
Gourry studied the mirror. "It's a mirror. So?"
"Not just look at it. Probe it, magically, and such. Figure out what
makes it tick," Lina explained.
Blinking, Gourry poked at the surface of the mirror. He left no
fingerprint on the glass. Nor did he feel any glass there. "Creepy," he
commented. "Is it safe to poke at it like that?"
"You're the one who poked, not me. I'm just gonna set up some sensing
spells," Lina said, having a seat in front of the mirror and sketching a
ritual circle on the ground.
"I know. That's like poking, except.. different, right?" Gourry
asked. "Is that safe?"
"Of course it's safe!" Lina said. "Shhh. Me working now. Go play."
Gourry shrugged, and resumed browsing the many wonders of the hall.
None of them were as interesting as the mirror. Well, that wasn't exactly
true; most of them were more interesting than the mirror, which other than
feeling funny, was still just a mirror. But for some reason, he kept
coming back to that 'Marital Aid' thing and trying to figure out how it
worked. He had this strange urge to raise his sword when he looked at it.
"Weird," Lina commented out loud.
"I know. What's the farm animal for?"
"Not that! The mirror. All my spells just.. slide right off," Lina
gestured. "I can't even figure out how to activate it."
Gourry squatted down behind Lina, peeking into the other side of the
image. "I dunno. Maybe you just say, like, 'Mirror, what will I get for
breakfast tomorrow?'"
"Too easy. There's always some silly code word or incantation and set
of hand-waving gestures involved," Lina said. "Especially with legendary
lost magic."
Gourry waved his arms around like a chicken with its head cut off.
"Ooga booga! O Magic Mirror, what will I have for breakfast tomorrow?....
ano, it's not working."
"Not just ANY hand waving and words!" Lina grumbled. "Specific ones."
"Oh. What are they?"
"That's what I'm trying to find out!"
"Oh! I get it!" Gourry nodded, smacking an understanding fist into his
palm.
"You do?"
"Yeah! But don't you think if you sit in front of the mirror too long,
it'll crack from your looks?"
*WHAM*
"Ow."
"Serves you right," Lina muttered, folding her arms.
Gourry rubbed his sore head. "You know, I think that's abuse."
"Eh?"
"Hitting me like that. It's abusive. And in a... 'equal society where
partners are given a fair split in terms of the quotas for respect, a
mutually understanding relationship vis a vis the hero and sidekick must
bend towards perspective contemplation.'"
Lina wobbled, and fell over. "G.. Gourry, where did you hear that?!"
"At the Sidekick's Panel. Did I get any of the words wrong?"
Sitting herself upright, Lina tried to regain some composure. "No,
no... just.. quit ragging on my looks, or my figure, or my personality, and
stuff like that! Then I won't have to hit you. It's simple, right?"
"Oh! Okay, I get it now!" Gourry nodded enthusiastically. "I'll try
that."
"Goooood. Now beat it, I'm working."
The blonde-haired swordsperson wandered off again, and decided to
fiddle with the iconograph some more. He will go down in history as the
first person to ever point an iconograph the other way, and take pictures
of himself making funny faces; a strange obsession which would grip the
population for years to come. Time passed quickly this way.
After about an hour, Lina rubbed out her magical circle. "Rats. I
can't penetrate that thing, no matter how hard I try. And I can't activate
it."
"Oh... maybe you just do something like, 'Mirror, what will--'"
"You tried that already, Gourry."
"Saying it, yeah. But maybe you gotta THINK it, or something?" he
asked. "You're the sorceress, not me. I wouldn't know."
Lina considered that. "Okay... pick some decision, concentrate on it
really hard..." She turned, and stared head on into the mirror.
Concentrating. Staring. Concentrating.
What should she pick? Well, Zel was going on and on like a broken
record about how lucky she's been. Lucky in what? Most of her travels
were remembered for having bandits chasing them, or insane demons, or
dragons, or whatever. They were usually defeated, of course, but... she
thought along those lines a little, wandering about mentally, getting
distracted and bored.
Also bored, Gourry started to play with the amazing mathematical box a
little. One step away from the proof of the derivative function of
calculus, it happened.
Since his back was turned, all he could pick up on was the sound.
Lina yelled first. He thought that came first, anyway, in hindsight.
Then he heard breaking glass, possibly.
But definitely after the glass broke and Lina screamed bloody murder,
he heard the wind whip up to tornado speeds, and lightning crackle.
By that point, he had turned around; to see the shards of the broken
mirror shooting past him, huge flying planes of razor sharp glass almost
but not quite dismembering him. The glass, blown away from the frame,
shattered to useless dust on the far wall. And inside the frame...
Inside the frame was just darkness, wind and dust blowing out of it,
blue sparks of lightning zipping around. Gourry had seen enough; he
immediately dove into the fray, scooping up Lina's unconscious form, mind
focused solely on getting her to safety. He scrambled off to the side,
away from the mirror, and waited for it to die down.
Which it did, in a final burst of energy, which knocked a hole in the
roof. Then there was no wind, no light, just a busted mirror, and a
partially melted frame.
Cradling Lina, he carefully crept around to the front of the mirror.
All that was behind the glass was a basic sheet of plywood. And a note,
written in careful manuscript.
'If this mirror is broken, please notify me at the following address.
-QS'. And a location.
Gourry reached to take the note, and the ancient yellowed paper
crumbled to dust in his fingertips.
[*]
When Lina awoke the next morning, she had the very definition of a
splitting headache. One party, many drinks, lots of magical concentration
and casting, and an exploding mystic mirror from hell did not add up to a
fun morning afterwards, she was finding out. Mostly upon waking, she wanted
to crawl back under the covers and not wake up for a week and a half.
The people in her room had other plans, however.
"Lina!!" Gourry exclaimed, the volume of his greeting driving Lina's
ears six feet into her skull. "How are you?"
"Annihilated," Lina mumbled in reply. "Could someone grab a white magic
specialist? My head feels like a.. a.. really painful thing."
Gourry nodded, and decided to dash out and fetch one himself. This
left alone with her other visitor.
"I suppose saying 'I told you so' would be rude," Zelgadis wondered,
arms crossed as he looked over at Lina from his seat by the window.
"No..." Lina said, trying to remember back, a task that was proving
difficult to do. "I remembered your little Moral of the Day Speech. I was
careful, gentle magic probes, nothing harsh. Didn't work, anyway. I
think... the mirror broke, didn't it?"
"Into, as they say, a million itty bitty pieces."
"Damn... what did it?" Lina asked, rubbing her temples. "Do they
know?"
"Could be physical force, metaphysical.. who knows?" Zel shrugged.
"Didn't you break it?"
"I can't remember..."
"It probably doesn't matter. It's history now, legendary history at
that. You may want to flee the country -- Prince Phil's calling a press
conference soon, and is expecting you there," Zelgadis said. "I think I
could get you out of here."
Lina sat up, head swimmy. "Gotta wait for Gourry."
"Lina, there's about two hundred angry wizards down there and the
entire Sailoon army. I'd think getting out as fast as possible would be
more important, if you want to survive this."
"Gotta wait for Gourry," Lina repeated.
"Suit yourself," Zel shrugged. "Myself, since I'm usually implicated
with your little party, I think I'll be going. Good luck, though."
With that, he opened the window and leapt out to his death. Or would
have, if he didn't know a Raywing flight spell, in which case he simply
zipped off for parts unknown.
Fighting her headache, Lina tried to think back. To figure out exactly
what happened. Okay, she had sat down to fiddle with the mirror... no
spells were working. Gourry's spastic hand waving didn't work.
Thought-reading concentration didn't seem to work. So she started
brainstorming, and.. and..
Well, something must have gone wrong. She didn't recall the mirror
actually working. She knew it broke; there were a half dozen little cuts
on her body which would need some professional healing. But beyond that, a
big black void. Very annoying for someone who likes to know exactly what's
going on in life at all times. Maybe if Gourry found an expert in white
magic, she could heal her mem--
"Lina, look! I found someone!" Gourry called. "She--"
"HEELLOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
Lina fell out of bed in an awkward little heap.
"Lina! I'm so happy to see you!" Amelia Wil Tesla Sailoon cheered,
bouncing up and down in place. "Amazing, how we're constantly drawn
together in times of trouble to go on bold journeys for truth and
justice!!"
Lina's morning went from the frying pan and into the heart of the sun.
Of all the people she wanted to see now, short of the Lord of Nightmares,
Amelia was last. Some people thought Lina was hyperactive, but that was
mostly because they had yet to be introduced to the junior terror of love
and justice, Amelia Wil Tesla Sailoon. Her arrival usually earmarked the
start of something truly awful.
"Hello, Amelia," Lina managed. "I seem to have broken my head. Help."
"Oooh, you really did get hurt!" Amelia exclaimed, grabbing Lina by the
shoulders and helping her up (and banging her against the wall in the
process by accident). "Don't you worry, I can fix you right up. Oh! Will
you come with me?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Lina waved off. "Come on, make with the
healing spells."
"HOORAY!" Amelia cheered, letting go of Lina, who promptly collapsed
again. "Together again!"
"Ano?" Gourry asked.
"Eh?" Lina followed up with.
"Come on, let's go!" the younger sorceress of light and sugar
exclaimed, grabbing them both by the wrist and running. "There's so much
to do!"
[*]
Before Lina could do anything effective to escape the vice like grip of
Amelia's determination, she had dragged the both of them down the stairwell
and through a small door--
And onto the ballroom main stage, in front of the eyes of all two
hundred wizards, magicians, sorcerers and cultists, as well as the fully
armed Sailoon Honor Guard.
Lina muttered a silent prayer for the damned, and closed her eyes.
"Papa! Lina's agreed to come with me!" Amelia said. "We're all set to
go!"
"YOSH!!!" Prince Phil exclaimed. "Listen, everybody! Lina Inverse has
agreed to repay her debt to the kingdom of Sailoon by questing with my
daughter on a royal expedition to recover the Legendary Lost Lore of Mirror
Magic and fix the Oracle's Mirror!"
The crowd cheered, more or less.
"Let's hear it for Lina Inverse!"
"Three cheers for Lina Inverse!"
"Bring back the book or we'll hang you, Lina Inverse!"
"HIP HIP HOORAY!"
"Oh, god," Lina whispered to Gourry, a sinking feeling descending
through her digestive system. "Don't tell me I just agreed to..."
"I'd say something right now, but I'd be telling you what you just told
me not to tell you," Gourry logically said. "Well.. how bad could it be?"
"Gourrrry!" Lina groaned. She lowered her voice, not to be overheard.
"Nobody KNOWS where the tomes of Silverquick are! There's a reason why
they're Legendary LOST Lores! It's a fool's errand. We'll never find
them!"
"Oh, don't worry. I saw his address on a card behind the mirror,"
Gourry smiled.
"...what? You what?!" Lina babbled. "Gourry, we need to get out of
here NOW."
"Ano?"
Lina gestured to the assembled wizards, who were too busy talking
amongst themselves to notice. "If any of them find that out, how many
power-crazed sorcerers do you think we're going to have on our tail, since
you're the only person alive who has ANY clue about where to find the
Legendary Lost Lore of Mirror Magic?!"
"Oh, umm... let me see... six? Err, five?" Gourry guessed. "You know
I'm not good at math, Lina."
"Just don't tell anyone about what you know, got it? Not until we're
out of here."
"No need to worry!" Gourry laughed out loud. "I'm great at keeping a
secret like the address of Silverquick's home!!!"
Many hundred eyes immediately turned to Gourry.
"Annoo... was that too loud?" he asked.
"Time to go!!" Lina yelled, grabbing Gourry and Amelia by the earlobes
and taking off, leaving a smoking trail behind her.
[*]
It was the fastest leavetaking ever in the history of Sailoon Royal
Expeditions. It basically involved running to Lina's room, stuffing as
much stuff as could be fit into a suitcase, and jumping out the window to
make a break for it.
The group touched down outside of the city, and following Lina's lead,
didn't stop running until they were safely and completely lost in a nearby
forest, away from any hint of civilization.
Amelia, completely out of breath, fell to her knees and tried to regain
her strength. "Ne... ugh... Lina! Why are we in a rush? Oh! I get it!
You're eager to journey for the honor and glory of Sailoon, right??"
"Something like that," Lina agreed.
"Well, I'm more than happy to lead our group to victory!!" Amelia
exclaimed, popping to her feet and into a dramatic pose. "Onward towards
glory!"
"Ano NA!" Lina yelped. "I'm leading us! That's how it always works,
ne? We've done this kind of thing before."
"Actually, I thought Zelgadis was the one who lead us and we always
just let Lina think she was in charge to make her happy," Gourry mused to
himself.
*BONK*
"Ow."
"What happened to trying not to make me hit you?!" Lina asked.
"Well, you didn't say anything about mentioning your incredible ego--"
*WHAM*
"Hey!"
"This is exciting!" Amelia smiled. "Let's go, gang! To an other
adventure!"
And so, the journey was off. The three, arguing and walking at an even
pace, started to make their way out of the forest.
The forest was, for the large part, happy to see them leave.
[*]
Behind a tree, watching the three of them walk off, was a lone figure
encased in shadow. Black as midnight's pitch it was, skulking along the
trees like an omnipotent shadow of evil...
The figure smirked.
"OOOHHOOHOOHHOOHOHHOOOO!!!!" it laughed into the back of her hand.
"So, you think you can obtain the Legendary Lost Lores before me, Lina?
You're so naive! I, your greatest and most dangerous rival, will
overcome!"
TO BE CONTINUED