All righty... this is the end, sort of.

Please, let me know what you think of it all.  My email 
address, as you all know, is:

ukyoukwnji@aol.com

Anyway... on with it, ne?

*****

ONION TEARS
Part IV.  Epilogue


To a normal observer, the dojo might have seemed empty; aside from 
myself standing in the middle of the room and the calligraphy hanging 
on the back wall, the place looked devoid of life.  But that was the 
idea, and I knew better: this was my class I was teaching.  It was a 
game of hide-and-seek, in plain sight, one of the most basic of the 
ninja techniques, and yet one of the most difficult to master.  Still, 
this was my advanced class, and they were doing well... except for a 
slight rustling noise in the corner.

I walked over to the corner and stomped my foot.  There was a yelp of 
pain, and a young boy stood up, grasping his hand.

"Hey, wha'dja do that for, anyway?"

I gave him a reproving glower.  "Because I could, Kyouma.  I could 
actually find you, and that is a fatal mistake for a ninja; you know 
that.  Now, I didn't mean to hurt you so much (why don't you head to 
the living room and ask Auntie Akane to bandage that up for you), and 
I apologize.  But do try to remember that invisibility means you need 
to be inaudible, too."  I let my expression soften, and I got down on 
one knee to face him directly.  "Kyouma, you're an excellent student. 
You're picking up techniques even your father has never learned to 
master, and with the same speed that he did.  You're one of the 
youngest to ever reach this level of expertise in the ninja arts. 
And I've got the advantage of experience -- it takes a ninja to catch 
a ninja, more or less.  An ordinary person would never have seen you 
there.  But you've still got to be careful.  When you're in ninja 
mode, assume there's always a fellow ninja out there that might be 
able to detect it.  If you can hear yourself moving, so can he." 
I smiled warmly. "Anyway, you go get that hand looked at, okay?"

He returned my smile.  It didn't take much to cheer Kyouma up; at any 
rate, he was as impervious to pain as his father was.  He ran out 
the dojo door, nearly tripping over one of his fellow students as he 
left.  I smiled at the student Kyouma tripped over.  "You can get up 
now, Hideo.  If Kyouma missed you, it's definately a sign you're doing 
well."  I looked around the room, and clapped my hands together.  "In 
fact, everybody get up.  That's good work, all of you.  But let that 
be lesson to each of you.  Always assume there's another ninja out 
there, and you have to fool *him*."  I received an audible glare from 
a pair of kunoichis in my class, and corrected myself quickly.  "Or 
*her*.  Yes... sorry about that.

"Dismissed, everyone."  and in a flash, the room was indeed empty, 
save for myself.  There were two hours to kill before Akane's own 
martial arts class was to begin arriving; I decided to check up on 
her and Kyouma in the meanwhile.

***

Soun Tendo had been as good as his word that fateful day.  Akane and 
Ranma did indeed get married, as he insisted upon.

Just not to each other.

What with everyone suddenly coming to an epiphany about Ukyou's 
feelings toward Ranma, and the pain of her impending loss, the 
assembly rose up en masse to favor Ukyou's rights to Ranma.  No one 
could have argued, even before the onions took effect, that she didn't 
have a legitimate claim to his affections, right down to the fact that 
a dowry actually had changed hands -- something that Akane couldn't 
claim yet.

Once they had worked their magic, though, no one was about to take 
Akane's side on the matter at all.  Except me.

"Please, people!  Listen to me!  Now you know the pain of loss that 
Ukyou... sama... has been going through all this time..."  It was the 
last time I would ever refer to her like that; even then, it had 
already become difficult to squeeze out the "-sama" designation.  
"...but don't you understand?  This is what Akane will endure once 
you give Ranma over to Ukyou!  Forever!"

A hand rested lightly on my shoulder.  Akane.

My heart broke inside of me as I saw her tears.  They were for Ukyou 
as much as anyone's, since she had tasted the tainted okonomi-yaki.  
But I knew they were also for herself.

"They're not listening, Konatsu... it's over.  Thank you for trying, 
but I'm afraid Ranma is going to be hers."

"I'm sorry Akane... I did everything I could."

"I know... but there's one more thing you could do..."

***

Some Western comedian once made a joke about weddings: something 
about how the bride is the unique central character of the ceremony. 
The groom and the rest of the guys, on the other hand, are pretty 
much interchangable: they even dress the same.  So while the groom is 
asked, "Do you take so-and-so to be your bride?" the bride is merely 
asked, "Do you take this man?"  It could be the groom, it could be the 
best man...

...Or it could be somebody else entirely.  Like me.

***

"Akane Tendo, do you take this... man?"  Akane nodded, as if to 
confirm the preist's questioning tone.  Well, I could understand. 
As far a dress sense was concerned, I did look more like Ukyou than 
Ranma, "...to be your wedded husband?"

I could only stare at her.  Did she realize what she was about to do?

"I do."  Akane!

***

I was numb as I walked out of the dojo.  Everyone had left, even 
Ranma and Ukyou.  Even crying as he was, Mr. Tendo had already 
ordered the Saotomes from his house.  Where that left Genma, I 
couldn't say (not that I was too concerned... living with Ukyou 
for so long, some of her prejudices had rubbed off on me), but 
Ranma certainly had a place to go to, and I...

"Maybe you'd better go to the Ucchan and collect your things, 
Konatsu-kun.  You're living here, now, you know... and somehow, 
I think Ukyou will want you out of there at any rate."

"Uh... all right.  Thank you, Akane-san."

***

The walk to and from the restaurant was as long as trek as ever I 
had taken.  It wasn't that I was worried about what would become of 
me. Despite having to leave Ukyou's service so abruptly, I had found 
myself a new home within the Tendo household.  No longer would I be 
a servant; I was family now.

I would have been more worried about Akane had this not been at her 
suggestion.  And I guess, given the circumstances, it was all she 
could do; if not Ranma, then she would accept the adequate(?) 
substitute that I provided.  If it truly was her will, who was I 
to refuse her?

But was it truly her will...?

***

At the Ucchan, I took the boxes of onions out of the cooler and 
deposited them outside by the trash.  Yes, they had set Ukyou back 
an extra Y20,000, and yes, I imagined she'd still be annoyed with 
me for having thrown them out, but she'd more than gotten her money's 
worth from them already.  There was no point in inflicting the rest 
of them upon the general population.

Slowly, I placed my few worldly possessions on my futon, rolled it up, 
strapped it to my back, and headed once more to the Tendo dojo.

***

"Where are you going with your things, Konatsu-kun...?"

I gave my... bride?  a puzzled look.  "I'm putting them in the guest 
room, Akane-san."

Her smile was brave and sad.  "Konatsu-kun... you're no guest.  You're 
my husband now.  Take those things into my room, why don't you?"  My 
heart ached for her.

***

I did as she asked me to; I went to her room and unrolled my futon at 
the foot of her bed.  And I slept there, at her feet, for the next 
year and a half.  By day, we operated the dojo together -- I taught 
classes on the ninja arts, and she instructed students in the more 
conventional arts such as kenpo and karate.

In the meantime, Kasumi had gotten married to Dr. Tofu -- which came 
as a surprise to no one, except for the fact that the good doctor 
finally screwed up the courage to ask for her -- and Nabiki had gone 
off to Tohai University with a full scholarship; although thankfully, 
she still came by occasionally to review the dojo's books.

Not much was ever said about our sleeping arrangements -- Akane 
really never said anything about it, and I wasn't about to press 
her about her feelings toward it.  I did know I wasn't her first 
choice for a husband.  In fact, I knew there were at least two or 
three others besides Ranma who I think would have been preferable 
to me.  And so, I vowed I would never touch her -- I wanted to 
give her an out, if she so chose.

***

There was one night, several months later, when her little pet P-chan 
came back to her after a long absence.  I was lying on my futon in the 
dark, staring at the ceiling, when I heard a squeak and a thump.  Not 
long afterward, there was a tapping on my shoulder.  I rolled onto my 
side and stared into a pair of eyes that were asking "What are you 
doing here?"

I decided it would be easier to answer a human than a pig.  I carefully 
picked him up, and carried him to the bathroom.

Through the steam, Ryoga's expression was glum.  "I heard about you and 
Akane.  And about Ranma and Ukyou."

"I'm sorry, Ryoga.  I did what I could to break it up.  And I know you 
cared about Akane..."

"Do you know HOW MUCH I cared for her?!"  Ryoga's temper flared and he 
bared his fangs at me.

I looked around frantically for something to deaden the sound. 
Finding nothing, I waved my hands at him to keep it down.  "Look, 
Ryoga... she asked me.  I'm sure she would have asked you if you'd 
been there... maybe she still will."

"She married YOU, you little freak of nature!  It's too late for me!"

"Shh!  No, it isn't!  We can still get an annullment, if she wants you."

All the anger drained from him in an instant.  "A-a-an... annullment?"

I nodded.  "Well, yeah.  I've never touched her."

"You're kidding!  It's been nearly a year!  And... I mean... well... 
Ukyou's pregnant already, you know..."

"No kidding?"  I was pleasantly surprised to hear that.  She must be 
very happy with him.  Sure, she and Ranma quarrelled a bit, but if I 
had a hundred yen for each time she called him 'jackass,' I'd still be 
a much poorer man than if I had a yen for every 'baka' he'd earned from 
Akane.  It sounded as if things were going well.

"Well, yeah.  So I figured that... you and Akane... must have..."  He 
was turning bright red and fidgeting.

I shook my head.  "I couldn't do that to her.  I don't know if she 
ever really wanted me."

"You just said she asked you to be her husband..."

"Yeah, well... I don't really know if she meant it, really..."

Ryoga looked at me.  Stared, actually.  For a long time.  Then he 
stood up.  "I think I'd better get my clothes."

"Let me take care of it.  She's got a spare dresser you can put them 
into."

"No, Konatsu... I've got to go.  If I had been in your shoes, I would 
not have had your honor, your willpower.  I would have taken her that 
first night, had I the strength.  I would have known I wasn't her 
first choice, but I wouldn't care.  That is not the sort of conduct 
worthy of her.  You've earned the right to her, Konatsu.  You belong 
in the spot I've been occupying these past few years.  I suggest you 
take it; I shall vacate it for its rightful owner."

"But Ryoga... what about P-chan?  She loves that little piggy of hers. 
How could I take your place?"

Ryoga shrugged.  "What *about* P-chan?  Akari loves him, too."  Oh, 
yeah... I'd forgotten about her.  "And if that's the only way Akane 
can have me... it's no good, anyway."

"Well, why don't you stay the night, in any case?  I can call the 
Unryuu farm in the morning, and have her come and pick you up.  That 
way, you won't get lost."

"I'd appreciate that, Konatsu."

***

It wasn't too long after that that news began to spread about Ranma 
and Ukyou.  And gradually, Akane started to act a little... different. 
There came a day when, after I had finished with my classes, she met 
me in the living room, dressed in a simple yukata.  It was not typical 
for her, and I knew something was up.

I didn't have to wait long to find out what it was.

"Konatsu... I want to have a baby."

"Uh... a baby?"

"Uh-huh.  Don't you remember?  We're supposed to be creating an heir 
to the Anything-Goes school of martial arts.  Ukyou's expecting, and...
I think my biological clock's about to go off, too."

"I... uh..."  I wasn't prepared to deal with this.  I was ready and 
willing to raise a child with her; but how to... erm, accomplish this? 
"Well... I don't know what Ukyou would say, but I guess we could ask 
Ranma for a sample of --"

Akane's look went sour.  "Why would I want to have that baka's child?"
<Ah!  Another yen!>  "Konatsu...

"...I want to carry my husband's child."

I don't believe I'd ever completely facefaulted before.  But now, my 
whole *body* faulted, and the next thing I knew, I was picking myself 
up off the floor.

"Konatsu...?"

I hauled myself up to a sitting position.  "Akane-san... do you realize 
what you're saying?"

"More than you know, Konatsu..."  She undid her yukata, and let it fall 
to the floor... she wore nothing underneath.  I had never seen her like 
this before.  Oh, I had had the opportunity, I'm sure -- but I never 
allowed myself to look before.  It had all been part and parcel of my 
vow that I not take advantage of her.

And here she was... standing before me like this... asking me to...

I'm sure there were tears running down my face.  "Akane-san... b-b-but 
this means that..."

"...that you and I really will be husband and wife in more than name.  
I know."  She knelt in front of me.  "Konatsu... please.  You've never 
even touched me like this..." and she took my hand and placed it on her 
breast, "since we were married.  Don't you find me attractive?"

"I... I -- yes!  I do!  But... what about the others?"

"Others?  What others?"  She looked genuinely confused.  I had never 
told her of my vow.

As I did, she began to undo the knots in my obi.  "Konatsu... now I 
understand why you've been keeping such distance.  But you don't need 
to do that anymore.  Ryoga, Shinnosuke, Ki-rin... none of them were 
there when I needed them.  You were.  And you have been ever since. 
Isn't that enough?

"And now, I need one more thing from you... that is, if you're willing 
to give it to me..."

I was.

And I did.

And after three wonderful months of trying, we too were expecting a 
child.  A beautiful baby girl we named Junko.

***

Once Akane had finished patching up Kyouma's hand, Ukyou had come by 
to pick him up to go shopping.  She didn't ask for any explanation; 
she was as familiar as anybody could be about the wounds a martial 
artist faces, both externally and internally. Hearing his mother's 
voice, Junko had torn downstairs from her room and insisted that she 
go with him.  And after getting Ukyou's permission, we let her go.

We watched the three of them depart; my eyes were fixed on Kyouma. 
"Do you ever have any regrets, Akane-san?  That could've been your 
son, you know."

"I don't think so.  Back then, I may have figured I was settling for 
some kind of second-best when I asked you to take his place.  But I'm 
starting to believe I got better than I ever deserved."  I blushed, 
but she continued.  "No, it's true.  You listen to me, you put up with 
my tirades, you offer a shoulder to cry on sometimes... you *know* I'd 
never be so lucky with that 'baka'."  She smiled as she recalled the 
'pet' name she had for him.  I smirked within myself -- another yen! -- 
but I wasn't quite convinced she wasn't still carrying a torch for him.  
Still, who was I to complain, when she lavished me with so much praise?

"Well, what about that promise between your father and his?  An heir 
to the dojo and all that?"

"What of it?  The dojo's in good hands, and so is Dad.  Besides, I 
think Kyouma's got a thing for our Junko.  We may be a generation 
behind, but there's always a possibility..." she smiled.

"Yeah, but I won't go making any stupid promises like that."

"Amen."

"Anyway, speaking of your father, I really should go and check up on 
him, ne?"

"Okay, but hurry back.  My class starts in an hour and a half..."

"I know that."

"...and since, Kyouma and Junko have headed off to the shopping plaza 
with Ukyou, I thought maybe we could..." Her voice trailed off.

My turn to smile.  "I like the sound of that."

***

I brought a bowl of miso soup into his room.  "Here you are, Father. 
Please drink this... you need to keep up your strength."

Mr. Tendo would join us for dinner, of course, but we needed to ply 
him with salt and liquid; he had never ceased crying since that day.

He took the soup from me with a grateful smile.  "You're so good to 
your old father, Kasumi."  Unfortunately, the emotional drain it 
caused was beginning to take its toll on him.  Dr. Tofu could not 
recommend anything else for us save to keep him comfortable and as 
happy as he could be under the circumstances, and to make sure he 
did not lose too much salt or water.

He drained the soup at a single draught.  I smiled.  In some ways, it 
was good that he thought I was Kasumi; in his former mental state, he 
would never have eaten anything that Akane had prepared.  Of course, 
one's skills can improve vastly over the course of a decade of practice,
but his memory of her reputation had prevented him from eating much of 
her cooking for a long time.  It was only as his memory began to erode 
with the emotional drain that he began to consume her cooking with an 
enthusiasm once reserved for Kasumi's meal.  Of course, if he thought 
it was Kasumi who was bringing it to him...

"As always, magnificent, my dear.  You do your dear mother proud."

"Thank you, Father."  I took the empty bowl from him, and bowed deeply 
as I backed out of the room.

***

Upstairs, Akane was waiting in the bedroom.  "Are you ready, 'Natsu-chan?"

I loosened my obi, and walked in.  I knelt down by the bed, where she 
reclined, naked as the day she was born.  She was a marvellous sight...
Ranma hardly knows what he's missing.  I prostrated my face and arms 
onto the bed before this magnificent sight, before the woman who 
really and truly loved and wanted me.  "I am ready to please you, 
my mistress Akane-sama."

She sat up abruptly and lifted my face from the mattress.  There was a 
bit of a pout on her face.  "Oh, please, Konatsu-chan.  Knock off the 
'mistress' bit, will you?"  Then she noticed the grin on my face.  "Hm. 
Well, if you insist, mabye sometime I'll wear some leather or whatever.
But for now..." and she shifted herself over to the wall a bit, and 
patted the portion of mattress she had just vacated, "just get up here, 
will you?"

I could not wipe the smile off my face.  "Your wish is my command, my 
dear."  I kissed her as I climbed in next to her.

*****
*****

Author's notes...

Wow.  That's it.  Finally.  This story has taken me places I never 
expected it to go, but it's been a most interesting ride.  I really 
could use some C&C before I finally send it out to the r.a.a.c.... 
there are a few rough spots, in my opinion, and I'm not sure how to 
polish them properly.  Of course, if you all can't *find* any rough 
spots...

This story is dedicated to 'Rei-sama', my very own real-life Konatsu; 
Akane's sentiments are essentially mine.  Once I left college without 
a serious significant other, I assumed I was going to spend the rest 
of my life alone (kinda sounds like the 'real' Ukyou, ne?).  After 
some thought, I decided that of all the friends I ever had, if I were 
required to choose one to spend the rest of my life with, it would be 
Rei-sama.  And I sent a letter to that effect, assuming all the while 
that it would scare Rei completely away.  Much to my astonishment and 
delight, my sentiments were returned to me, and we were married shortly 
thereafter (I say shortly ^_^;; I had to wait for two years until Rei 
got out of college), and we've been together for nearly six years and 
counting...

I got far better than I expected or deserved.  And for those of you who 
wonder about 'Natsu-chan's erm, leanings, let me say this: you strip us 
down to the bare essentials, and 'Natsu-chan's as much a man as I am a 
woman.  What more could I ask for?

My blessings go with you all.  Until next time, I remain yours.

Itsu mo,
Ucchan  ^_^