Subject: [FFML] [MST3WA] Won't Get Fooled Again - Part 2
From: Zen
Date: 3/8/1998, 11:00 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com, Travis Butler 

[Zen's dorm room on Academy.  The room is dark, and from the behind the
bathroom door, a shower can be heard.  The shower stops, and a few minutes
later, the door slides open and Zen-chan walks out.  She is wrapped in a
towel, and is drying her hair with another.  Suddenly the lights flare to
life, revealing Kei and Yuri sitting on the sofa in front of the
entertainment center, grinning evilly.]

Zen-chan: [grabbing for the ceiling]  Waaaauuugh!

Kei:  [putting her feet up on the coffe table]  Nice outfit, Zen-*chan*...

Yuri: [grinning] nervous dear?

Zen-chan: [indignant] Don't you two ever knock?

Yuri: [innocent look] Why?  Have you got something to hide?

Zen-chan: [sputtering] Of course not!  It's just a matter of cour...

Kei:  [menacing tone] You haven't been seeing any *other* women, have you?

Zen-chan: [incredulous] Seeing.... other....

Yuri: [hurt look]  Aren't we enough for you?  Don't we keep you
entertained?  Who is she, Zen-chan...

Zen-chan: [unaffected]  Oh, knock it off.  [grumbling] 'Entertained' is
*not* the word.

Kei:  [smugly]  Well, we do try.

Zen-chan: [grinning]  Oh yes... you do that.

Kei:  ....

Yuri: [growling]  Watchit you...  Now get over here.  We have another fic
to review.

Zen-chan: But it's oh four hundred!

Kei:  [smirking]  What's the matter?  Can't stay up?

Zen-chan: ....

Yuri: [grinning, then turning serious]  This one's important, Zen.  And
we're already late with it because YOU have to get so moody at times.

Zen-chan: ....  [sighs]  Okay, but what is it that's so damned important it
couldn't wait until Zen had gotten a little sleep?

Kei:  [Withdrawing an isolinear chip from... well, you know]  THIS is.

[Kei inserts the chip in the reader with a dramatic fluorish.  The screen
brightens and clears, freezing on the opening line:]



From: "Sean Gaffney" <gaffney@iconn.net>

Subject: [DP] [EVA] [Heinlein] Won't Get Fooled Again, Part 2


Zen-chan: [pales]  Oh.  That.  Right.  Just wait a sec and Zen'll get
dressed....

Kei:  [smirking]  Need any help?

Zen-chan: NO.

[Minutes later, Zen-chan is sitting on the sofa with her sempai.  Kei is
finishing putting snacks and cold drinks out on the coffee table, while
Yuri and Zen-chan argue over clothing.]

Zen-chan: [squawking] You want Zen to wear WHAT?!

Yuri: [pouting] But you'd look so fetching in it!

Zen-chan: ....

Kei:  [bemused]  C'mon, children.  We're ready here.

Zen-chan: [to Yuri] this 'discussion' is not over...

Yuri: [grinning]  Do tell.

Zen-chan: .... [sighs]  Right.  Run the fic.



Well, this has been a long wait, but here it is.


Yuri: It has at that...



All comments are welcome. Thanks!


Kei:  As last words go, that ranks right up there with 'pass a match, I
can't see to find the gas leak...'



Won't Get Fooled Again
by Sean Gaffney

(Note: in this part, there are two characters called Jamie. When in
separate rooms, they will be referred to as Jamie. When together, one of
them will be called by her nickname, Zen.)


Kei:  You don't suppose...

Yuri: Betcha it is.



(Yes, _that_ Zen.)


Yuri: See?

Zen-chan: ....



Part Two: The Dirty Jobs


Kei:  [glaring at title] Was this supposed to be funny?



Shasti tried to tell Deirdre what was happening to her, but something
completely different came from her lips. "Yes, I would have been here
sooner, but it took me _ages_ to find the right dress."


Kei:  You gotta hate it when that happens... you wanna say one thing, but
say something else instead.

Zen-chan: [nodding]  Hai.  Like that time that you walked into Goulet's
office last week...  Of course what you *meant* to say was, "Good morning,
sir..."

Kei:  [growls]  Point made.



Deirdre laughed. "Really, Shasti, it's not as if there will be any men on
this picnic. I see you even put on the corset."


Zen-chan: [to Yuri] If you think you're getting Zen into an outfit like
THAT, you've got another think coming.

Yuri: [thoughtful look] Actually, I'd been thinking more of a nice sun
dress, but, now that you mention it...

Zen-chan: Don't.  Go.  There.  [pause]  Ever.

Yuri: [grins]



As they entered the clearing, Shasti saw Kei and Yuri, dressed in clothing
just as fancy as hers, spreading out a couple of blankets and putting down
a truly incredible amount of food. As Shasti gaped from inside her mind,
she saw Kei lift a finger into the air, and laugh as a bird settled down
onto it and started to twitter.


Zen-chan: [blinking, then looking at Kei] ....



Yuri glanced over. "Kei, I wish I had your command with the birds and
animals. How do you get them to do that?"


Zen-chan: Oh, that's easy.  She's...**owtch!**

Kei:  [putting down the beer bottle]  Your first warning...



Kei blushed. Shasti felt like rubbing her eyes to make sure she'd seen
that properly. Her voice was different, too, very quiet and shy. "They
know that I would never hurt them, Yuri, that's all."


Zen-chan: [rubbing the back of her head] Oh, yahright... Tell another one.

Kei:  ....

Yuri: Actually, that *does* seem just a tad OOC... wonder what's going on?



Kei smiled shyly. "Considering the number of cakes that Yuri packed, you
are probably correct. Besides, that much sugar is surely bad for their
constitution."


Yuri: [blinking]  Kei, I didn't know that you even *knew* words like
'constitution'...

Kei:  [hotly] Now don't YOU start!



Shasti saw herself pick up the knife. But instead of handing it to
Deirdre, she gripped it by the blade and threw it right at Deirdre.
Despite the blunt edge, it cut through Deirdre's neck, sending her
head flying onto the blanket.  It landed directly on Yuri's plate.


Kei:  [enlightened]  Ahh!  It's all a dream!  A nightmre!

Yuri: [nodding] Yes... it makes sense in that context...

Zen-chan: Nightmare is the word...



Inside her head, Shasti screamed in horror. But Kei and Yuri's only
reaction seemed to be distaste. "Shasti, we have told you that this
penchant for killing your best friend has got to stop. Now go put her
body with the others, and we shall try to get back to our meal."


Kei:  [slightly green]  Maaa... I'm glad this Gaffney character doesn't
script *my* nightmares...



Before her lay at least a hundred corpses. All of them had the same thing
in common: they were all Deirdre. Some had been decapitated, others were

blackened, as if burned. Still others looked pruny and sickly with

poison.
And all of them had their eyes turned towards Shasti, accusing her without
words but only with their dead gazes.


Yuri: [shuddering]  Eeeeewwww.

Kei:  You're pretty cold blooded, Sean.

Zen-chan: Oh, come on.  You two have EACH had worse dreams than that.  So
has Zen.

Kei:  Yah, but it's a hell of a FIRST dream to be having...



Deirdre's corpses were raising themselves up and attempting to drag
Shasti down to the ground. She vainly attempted to resist, but there
were so many of them, so many Deirdres that she'd killed, and they were
beginning to succeed. Shasti slipped and fell to the ground, and then
they were on top of her, choking and pummelling her.
Shasti screamed one last time, as she felt her neck snap...


Kei, Yuri and Zen-chan: [shudder]



Gradually, the screams died down, and then Shasti opened her eyes. Cory,
Kei and Yuri came over now, looking at Shasti with concern in their eyes.
She screamed again and tried to struggle out of Deirdre's arms. "No, I
killed you. I saw it."


Yuri: Hoo, that's a heck of a way to wake up...



Cory blinked. "It sounds like Shasti had a nightmare."

Deirdre shook her head. "No, it can't be. Shasti's never been able to
have nightmares bef..." She slowly ground to a halt, staring at the woman
in her arms. "Could it be...is this one of the things she'd get from being
made completely human? Ishtar?"


Zen-chan: Completely human?  Poor thing...



"Shasti, it's alright. I'm here, and I'm not dead. It must have been a
nightmare, Shasti. You just had a nightmare."
After a few moments, Shasti's tear-streaked face came into view. "A
nightmare? As in dreaming?"
"Yes, Shasti," Cory put in. "Ishtar says that you should be able to dream
just as easily as the rest of us now."


Zen-chan: Oh, frabjous day.  The lucky girl.

Yuri: Was that sarcasm I heard in your voice, Zen-chan?

Zen-chan: ....



"A nightmare...I had an actual nightmare..." Suddenly Shasti's face split
into a grin, and she began to laugh. "I did it! I dreamed! Deirdre, *I
did it*!"
The others were rather alarmed at this change in Shasti's demeanour, but
Deirdre knew why she was acting this way. Not being able to dream had
weighed heavily on Shasti's mind. It was one of the things that constantly
reminded her she wasn't human. To her, a dream, even a bad one, would be

seen as coming one step closer to her goal. Deirdre grinned, and hugged

Shasti tightly. "You said it, partner. You did it!"
Just as quickly, Shasti became serious again. "Oh god, it was so real. I
couldn't believe what was happening to me! I knew what was happening, but
I couldn't control myself..."


Kei:  [blinks]  Poor Shasti's gone bai bai...



Kei was a little more reticent. "I don't see why the idea of me being
sweet is so funny," she grumbled.


Zen-chan: Funny strange?  Or funny 'ha ha'?

Yuri: Well, it *could* be either...

Kei:  ....



Shasti was shaking with laughter. "And then Yuri, rather than being
horrified when you died, just snootily told me to put the body with
the others!


Kei:  [giggles] Yuri?  Snooty?  Say it isn't so!

Yuri: ....



And I went over to this hill, and there were *hundreds* of you, and
they were all dead and they were looking at me and then Cory called
me a murderer and I couldn't move again and they came to life and you
all started to kill me! NO! KEEP AWAY FROM ME!"


Zen-chan: Oi!  Ishtar!  Valium!  Stat!



She turned to Ishtar. "This is a result of the operation, isn't it?" Her
voice held a note of accusation.


Zen-chan: Yeesh!  There's no pleasing some people!  No operation, and you
have a dead Shasti... WITH the operation you have a Shasti that's freakin'
out.  Which one does she think is easier to fix?



I wish Briareos was here."
"Who?"


Yuri: An Appleseed cameo?

Zen-chan: Shirow-nuff.

Kei:  [whaps Zen]  Stop that.




I've already talked with the Circle about this, and we can get Shasti
to a place where she can recover extremely quickly."
"Where is that?"
"Oz."
Ishtar slumped into a chair, putting her head in her hands. "Oh, for
God's sake, Hilda."


Yuri: [blinking]  OZ!?  You don't think he means Australia, do you?

Zen-chan: Not by dropping THAT Baum-shell.

Kei:  [whaps Zen]  I said stop that.




"I can't think of a better place. We have Glinda there to make sure
that Shasti can't inadvertently cause any harm. Ozma is ready to talk
to her about multiple personalities; after all, she was Tip for several
years."
"That's not quite the same thing."


Zen-chan: Too fraggin' right.



Hilda laughed. "Indeed. Have one of the others tell you about the concept
of World-As-Myth."


Yuri: 'World as Myth'?

Kei:  Oh, Lord, not that Heinlein stuff... where story characters are real,
just living in different universes...

Zen-chan: [giving Kei a strange look]  Oh?  And what's so odd about that?

Kei:  It just seemed a little far fetched, that's all.

Zen-chan: Did it really...

Kei:  Yes, it di... [looks hard at Zen-chan] ....  err... nevermind.



"Jimmy? Jimmy's alive?"


Yuri: Poor Shasti... you didn't really expect her to be coming in with
*good* news, did you?



Hilda nodded. "Yes. Furthermore, he's head of 3WA now. We're going to
try and stop him. We need your help."


Zen-chan: Goulet would not have liked this story...

Kei & Yuri: [nodding]  Hai...




"NO!" Shasti bellowed, startling everyone. "I need to do this. Jimmy
is partially my fault, if only because of the success of my creation."
Shasti pronounced 'success' oddly, as if the word meant something
different to her. "If I let you all go without me, I could never forgive
myself. I'll do whatever I need to do to...get myself under control."
For a moment a giggle burst from her lips, but she quickly suppressed it.
Clutching at herself tighter, she added, "Because I'm no use to anyone
like this."


Zen-chan: Now *there's* something you don't see everyday...

Yuri: What's that?

Zen-chan: [grinning evilly] A 3WA TC that admits something is at least
partly her fault.

Kei:  [deadpan] Yah, it's a good thing that her supervisor didn't hear
that... she'd get put on suspension for sure.

Yuri: ....



This clone, whoever she was, was going to have to be taken care of. The
thought of killing anyone still made Cory's skin crawl, but maybe there
was some other option. Deirdre had been able to shake off whatever
training Jimmy had given her, maybe this clone could as well. Of course,
that would still mean that there would still be two Cory Emersons in the
world.


Kei:  TWO Cory Emersons?  [shudders]

Yuri: Oh, get off it, Kei.  Cory's a decent sort!  Just a little excitable.

Kei:  Yah, I know... But a TALK show, fer the love of the Goddess...

Yuri: [pales]  Oh yeah...  Forget it, Cory.  Kill the clone.



"I can't think anymore. I try to control myself, but then something
happens, and I lose it. Last night, I couldn't take it anymore, and I
tried to hang myself. But that stupid computer never goes to sleep, and
it told the doctor what I was doing. They strapped me down for the rest
of the evening. Cory, they're already treating me as if I was mentally
ill..."


Kei:  [blinks]  Well, of course they are!  You are!

Yuri: That's a harsh way to put it, Kei, but you're right...  But the thing
to remember is that she's treatable.  Or ought to be, if she'll give
herself the chance.

Zen-chan: Helplessness and hopelessness are pretty damned hard to fight
sometimes.



But as quickly as it had come, Shasti's anger vanished. Cory found
herself being held in Shasti's arms while the woman stroked her head
and wept. "My God, Cory, I hit you! I'm sorry! Why did I hit you, it's
not your fault, Oh God I'm sorry, I don't deserve you for a friend,
you must hate me, I'm sorry..."


Kei:  [sadly] Poor Shasti... She's going to pieces so fast, Cory's getting
hit by the shrapnel.

Yuri: Poetic as always, Kei-chan.

Kei:  ....



As they headed down the corridor once more, Shasti's face took on a
determined set. She would do this. She would get her mind back together,
and she would help her friends. She owed them for so many things, and
she would not let them down again. Images of stabbing Deirdre in the
back flashed across her mind, and she briefly winced.


Kei:  Ara... as I remember the tapes from that incident, Shasti *shot*
Deirdre in the back... or are you being metaphorical here?



Asuka had promised herself that she would not screw up this partnership.
She would be polite, take everyone's feelings into account, not scream
at them for being incompetent, and try to let them help out with the
mission a bit as well.


Yuri: [sniggering] Well, Asuka-chan certainly seems to be in character.



They were currently sitting in the medical bay, waiting for Doctor Akagi
to finish with her other patients. Asuka wasn't very comfortable with
getting all the information from the computer. Oh, it saved time, but she
wanted the experience of being able to ferret out the clues, slowly
finding the answer. Using all this technology wasn't as satisfying.


Kei:  Oh, bull.  She's just narked 'cause the implants probably give her a
headache.




Rei hadn't complained, or even cared. She was sitting quietly in the
corner, as if someone had turned off a switch. Who knows, maybe she's
some kind of robot, Asuka thought. This left Asuka to lie on a bed and
stare at the ceiling, cursing her new partner, the wait the doctor was
putting them through, and Shasti for being evil enough to do all this
in the first place.


Zen-chan: [blinking]  Ayanami Rei...  A robot?

Kei:  That *is* a pretty silly idea.  Yah, she's quiet and all, but why
build a robot that looks like that?

Zen-chan: [scribbling furiously on a padd] Because it would be ornamental?

Yuri: [dangerously]  What are you writing?

Zen-chan: [absently] Always did want to get into robotics...  Now what to
use for a power supply...

Kei:  [looking over Zen-chan's shoulder] Hey, Yuri, we're really gonna have
to punish Zen for this one...

Zen-chan: [oblivious] Hmmm...  Gotta see if there are any spare cats
running around...

Yuri: [tapping Zen meaningfully on the shoulder]  [sweetly] Shall we get
back to the fic now?

Zen-chan: [startled] What?  Er...  Heh... ah... yeah...




*Not that I'm complaining, but they could have started me off with
something easier,* she thought. *She could be anywhere in the galaxy
by now, she's got warped clones of three of the best agents the 3WA's
ever produced, and they expect us to just waltz up and capture them?
Right, I can imagine that scene. Maybe Mr. Daltrey was right. Maybe we
will have to kill them.*


Zen-chan: It would have been a challenge NOT to start her with something
easier...

Kei:  [nodding] Hell of a first mission for a rookie team, that's for sure.




Asuka still had trouble with that. "Don't interrupt me! J-Jimmy told me
to handle your emotional needs, and that's just what I'm going to do! For

starters, we'll try a laugh. Laugh."



Zen-chan: Errr... Handle her emotional needs?  Is that what they're calling
it now?

Yuri: [whaps Zen] Get your mind out of the gutter!

Kei:  [grinning] At least until later.




Rei looked blankly at Asuka. There was a ten-second pause before she
answered. "Why?"
"Because you need to develop your emotional centres! You won't willingly
laugh until you get used to it, so you've got to practice. Go ahead, try
it."


Yuri: [blinking] That's silly.  You can't expect someone to laugh on demand
like that.  It's not reasonable.

Kei:  Why not?  If I tell someone to do something, I can usually get them
to do it.

Yuri: Oh, really?

Kei:  Really.  Look.  I'll prove it.  [turning towards Zen-chan]  o/~  Oh,
Zen-chan... o/~

Zen-chan: [scribbling on her padd once more] Mmmm?

Kei:  Blush, Zen.  Blush.

Zen-chan: What?  [turns to face Kei, and flushes a DEEP crimson]

Kei:  [smugly]  See?

Yuri: [Indignant]  Kei!  Put that back on!  [whaps Zen]  And you!  Get your
eyes back in their sockets.  That's gross.  [pouting]  Besides.  Whats she
got that I haven't?

Zen-chan: [rubbing the back of her head and wincing]  Naturally curly hair?

Yuri: ....



For one moment, Asuka thought she saw a look of frustration pass across
Rei's face. This might have been her imagination, however, as a second
later Rei looked back with her blank face again.
"I'm sorry. I'm not sure..."


Yuri: [giggles] I am not programmed to respond in that area.



"It's easy. Watch me." Asuka threw back her head and laughed.
Unfortunately, the combination of the frustration of the day and a lack
of anything genuinely funny around her made the laugh sound somewhat
maniacal. Asuka flushed, embarrassed.


Yuri: [blinks] That laugh... [shudders] sounds almost like Kodachi.

Zen-chan: [*looking* at Yuri] ....

Yuri: [defensive] What?

Zen-chan: ....  Nothing, Ko-chan...




However, her laugh did have the benefit of making Rei change her expression.
Rei cocked her head and looked closer at Asuka. "Are you feeling well?"
Asuka flushed even more. "I'm fine! Dammit, where is that doctor?" She
sighed. "Look, let's start smaller. Try at least smiling."
Once again, Rei paused for a few seconds, and then asked, "Why?"


Zen-chan: Because she asked you to, and she'll start shooting if you don't.




Asuka found herself shouting. *Well,* she thought, *I lasted longer with
this one than my other temporary partners.* "Because it's something you
need to learn! Because you're happy!"
Rei frowned, and Asuka nearly cried. This was exactly the opposite of what
she was going for. Rei's next question startled her, though.
"Am I happy?"


Kei:  [muttering] Dunno... lemme check the script...

Yuri: [Rei voice] But what's my motivation?

Kei:  [scanning script]  It doesn't say.  Guess you'll have to ad-lib.
Just wing it.

Zen-chan: [rolling eyes] Bloody method actors...




As Asuka came back to reality, she saw that Rei was actually shaking her.
"Asuka, are you okay?"
Asuka pulled away. Good God, she was even crying! Where had that memory
come from? She'd never had any training like that! She turned away from
Rei, looking at the wall of the clinic.


Zen-chan: Welcome to 3WA - home of the Neurotic, the Psychotic, and the
Just Plain Strange.

Kei:  [archly] And what would that make *you*?

Zen-chan: Can Zen pick more than one?

Yuri: ....



"I don't know if you're happy, Rei. But I think you should be. You're
an agent in the 3WA, one of the best organisations in the galaxy.


Zen-chan: Trust the Corps.

Yuri: Jeeze, Zen, you know it's not really like that...

Zen-chan: The corps is mother - the corps is father...

Yuri: [smacks Zen]  Cut that out!




The Central Computer personally selected you as one of its best agents.
And besides," and here Asuka turned and grinned, "you're partnered with
someone as brilliant as me."


Yuri: How many 'best agents' does that make now?

Zen-chan: Well, that's you two, Shasti and Deirdre, and now these two... so
that's six...




Rei listened to all of this impassively. Then, when Asuka got to the end
of her speech, Rei's mouth curled upwards. It wasn't an ironic or sarcastic
smile, as Asuka used so often. It was genuinely warm.
"You're right. I should be happy."


Kei:  That was easy... give the girl a piece of cheesecake and she'd be in
heaven no doubt...

Zen-chan: [Homer Simpson voice] Mmmmm.....  Cheesecake....

Yuri: You like cheesecake, do you Zen?

Zen-chan: [nodding enthusiastically]  Oh yes.  LOVE cheesecake.

Yuri: [smiling] Well, we just happen to have... [brings out thick New York
style confection, topped with chocolate and strawberries...

Zen-chan: [confused]  What's that?

Yuri: [startled]  It's a cheese ca....

Zen-chan: [tries to look innocent]  [fails]  [starts to look nervous]

Yuri: .... Why you... [prepares to smack Zen with cheesecake]

Kei:  [exasperated] Save it for later, you two!  We've got a LONG way to go
on this one!

Zen-chan & Yuri: .... Hai.



Suddenly the door opened, and Doctor Ritsuko Akagi stepped into the room.
"Sorry to keep you waiting, but my other patient is a troublemaker. If
you'll come this way, I'll hook you up to the information you need."


Yuri: A trouble-maker?  Who d'you suppose that is?

Kei:  [shrugging] No idea.

Zen-chan: ....



Upon entering the medical bay, the first thing Asuka noticed was the
loud argument coming from the next room over. Doctor Akagi sighed.
"You'll have to excuse us. I'm sure by now you heard about the Lovely
Angels' latest disaster of a mission. Yuri's been recuperating in here,
and Kei is visiting her. As you can imagine, this means that the two of
them have been fighting non-stop for the past two hours."


Yuri: [hotly]  Hey!

Kei:  We're not like that!

Zen-chan: ....




An assistant walked up. "Yeah, the Central Computer cleared them of all
the charges, but the 3WA is finding it hard to convince the press of that.
No thanks to Cory's talk show. I thought she was supposed to be friends
with them?"


Yuri: [glowering] The. Clone. Must. Die.



Asuka shrugged; she didn't know enough about the Pair's social lives. Oh
well, that's the sort of thing that would be in the briefing; Shasti was
supposed to have cloned them as well. She turned to Rei.


Kei:  [turning to Yuri]  Social lives?  Do we have social lives then?

Yuri: [shrugging] Search me.

Zen-chan: [raising eyebrow]

Kei:  [hands on hips] Watchit, you... *I* make the lewd comments around here!




"Since the Pai--Angels are here, why don't we ask them what their opinions
of Shasti are?"
Rei stared at Asuka. "Why? The memory downloads should tell us everything."
Asuka fumed. "We should talk to them anyway! Who knows what might not be in
the memory downloads!"


Yuri: Oh, there are LOTS of things that aren't in the memory downloads.

Kei:  At least, they'd BETTER not be!




Dr. Akagi's assistant beamed. "The downloads provide a complete picture,
agent Asuka. It's impossible to keep something from them. Who is this
Shasti anyway?"
Asuka sighed. "We can't really talk about it."


Kei:  We could tell you, but then we'd have to kill you.




Maya looked at the plugs she had been sent to collect. Everyone was acting
very secretive about this mission that those two were on, a lot more so
than usual. Ritsuko seemed to know something, but she wasn't telling. Maya
could tell she was upset, though.


Kei:  You don't think she's gonna do something stupid, do you?

Zen-chan: Yes.




Quickly she selected the Shasti plug and inserted it into her cyberjack.
If there was something wrong, maybe she'd be able to help Ritsuko get over
it...
Maya jerked and her eyes glazed over. The plug wasn't working, something
had gone wrong. She tried to yank it out, but found that she no longer
seemed able to control her body. Her consciousness seemed farther and
farther away. She tried to scream for help, but it was as if she wasn't
in her body anymore.  Her mind was wracked with pain, and she began to
feel her awareness fade...


Yuri: Damn, I hate it when you're right, Zen...




A hand reached out and plucked the plug from the girl's neck. Maya's body
slumped momentarily, but then straightened again. There seemed to be a
difference, though, maybe it was in the eyes.


Yuri: [shudders] Ghoddess, I'm glad that system was scrapped... the
downloads weren't so bad, but the UPloads were hell.

Kei:  [pale]  Ha... Hai.  And no protected memory in the OS...  Very bad.

Zen-chan: [twitching] Viruses, sleeper programs, alternate personalities...
All too damned easy.




"Now we go for Plan B. We'll have to let those two run around for a little
longer to avoid suspicion while I see if I can prepare another one of these.
I only have two. I should have foreseen something like this, but I was
having too much fun imagining the torment they'd go through. Well, nothing
to be done about it now. Come on."


Kei:  [looking slightly green]  Sadistic...  but, thankfully, stupid as well.

Yuri: Whaddya mean, stupid?

Kei:  Well, for one thing, no back-up copies of her software.




"Why don't you use the other plug?"
Cory Emerson smiled. "That's the other part of Plan B. The other plug is
for Dr. Akagi. That's one I'm going to take special care to make sure is
done right."
She looked at the plug in her hand marked Shasti, that contained all that
was left of Maya Ibuki. "This should still work as an information plug,

though. All we need to do is get rid of the irrelevant data..." She began

to giggle.


Yuri: [tightly] Kill.  The.  Clone.  Now.

Kei:  [blinking] Poor Maya...




Asuka sighed as she rubbed her temples. The dataplugs were supposed to
be a perfect science, but there were still people who had trouble
assimilating the information properly. Asuka was one of those; she now
had a raging migraine from trying to take in all the information at once.


Kei:  See?  See?  TOLD you she was just narked about the headaches.




She looked over at Rei, who seemed to be just fine. *Of course,* thought
Asuka, *she's perfect in so many other ways, why not?*


Yuri: Tsk tsk, Asuka-cah.  Jealousy is not a good thing!

Kei:  True, though I notice it doesn't stop YOU being jealous of my...

Yuri: Jealous?  Me?!  Of YOU?!  You *must* be kidding.

Kei:  Oh, don't deny it, Yuri!  [preens]  You've always been jealous of my
good looks!

Yuri: [fuming]  You've got that backwards, don't you?  It's YOU whose always...

Kei:  [smirking] Why don't we let Zen decide?

Yuri: You're on!

Kei & Yuri: Oh, Zeeennnn-chaaannnn.....

Zen-chan: [obliviously scribbling away on her padd again]  Hai...  [looks
up] [pales]  What...

Kei & Yuri: Which of us is the prettiest, Zen?

Zen-chan: [bigsweats] Ara....

Kei:  [breathily] C'mon, Zen-chan... tell her.  It's me.

Yuri: Oh, but it's me, isn't it, Zen-chan?  [sighs dramatically]

Zen-chan: [trying to bury herself in the sofa] [smallvoice] oh no... not
again...  [pleading] there's a fic to finish, remember?

Kei:  Hmpf.  Okay.  But this isn't over yet.




Shasti was an experimental bioroid designed to be the perfect 3WA agent. It
hadn't worked. She'd gone insane, killed her partner, and tried to kill
the >Lovely Angels before going on a criminal spree of unprecedented
proportions.
That was it. No background, no possible motive, and most disturbingly, no
follow-ups. Jimmy had said that several people had tried to bring Shasti to
justice. Why weren't they in here?


Zen-chan: Maaaa.... when the 3WA screws up, they sure don't do it by
halves, ne?

Kei:  You've read the reports on the Shasti case.  You *know* there's more
to it than that.

Zen-chan: Still, it *was* bloody stupid of Ayoob to make Shasti upload that
personality matrix.  The system was dynamically unstable to begin with.

Yuri: [nodding]  True, but you're making her out like she was some kind of
machine...

Zen-chan: [shrugging] At that point?  She was.  At least as far as 3WA was
concerned.  It's sad, but you can't argue against the facts.

Kei & Yuri: [nodding]  True.




There had been several accidents and forced retirements lately. Most of
her colleagues were dead or missing now. She knew what was going on, but
didn't dare say anything. This was a new administration, and no one knew
the shady past it emerged from. No one except Jimmy, and herself.


Yuri: NOT a good position to be in.

Kei:  Poor Ritsuko.




"Calling me Dr. Akagi instead of Ritsuko was a big hint. Maya always
called me Ritsuko. I think she had a crush on me." Ritsuko watched Maya's
face carefully, but there was no reaction. *Damn. So much for any hope of
Maya being left in there.*


Zen-chan: Curious... what sort of reaction was Ritsuko looking for?
Denial?  A blush?  Affirmation?

Kei:  Didn't you know?  Ritsuko and Maya were a couple.

Zen-chan: No... no one ever tells Zen anything, really.  Not that it was
really any of Zen's business anyway.

Yuri: Your gossip sense is WAY underdeveloped, Zen-chan.

Zen-chan: [grumbling]  It HAS to be.  Otherwise, Zen'd have to hurt some
people.  Zen does not like hearing her friends discussed in such a manner.




A small tear escaped Ritsuko's eye. *Oh, Maya...*

Cory looked at the gun that Ritsuko was levelling at her. "I hope you don't
think that you could just waltz out of here using that. There's no way you'd
get away."

Ritsuko smiled weakly. "I know that. But there's one small thing. I'd rather
die than be used by you like that." She quickly raised the gun to her head.
"And I never intended to use this gun on anyone else."

Cory snarled, and reached out, but she was far too late to stop Ritsuko

>from pulling the trigger.



Zen-chan: [shaking her head] What a waste.

Yuri: How so?

Zen-chan: Aside from the obvious, there's the fact that A) she didn't take
the Cory Clone with her, and that B) they can still make a clone of her and
program it any way they want.

Yuri: You *do* have a suspicious mind, Zen-chan.

Zen-chan: [shrugging]  It comes from having to find so many ways to keep
the peanut butter out of here.

Kei:  .... [mutters] spoilsport....




Asuka and Rei walked a few doors away from the medical bay before they
risked talking. "You noticed too, then?" Asuka began.
Rei nodded. "The plugs are incomplete. Someone deleted information from
them before we could access it."
"How do you know that it was deleted? Maybe it wasn't even there in the
first place."
"I can feel..." Rei paused, as if to decide how best to say what she was

thinking. "I can feel the place where the information used to be. It's

like a paper that's had the bottom half torn off. You can still see where
it went on."


Kei: [Minbari voice] There is a hole in your mind...




"Shasti? You think this has anything to do with Shasti?" Asuka spun around
in shock, though Rei seemed to have expected it. A shape huddled in the
doorway, concealed by a cloak. It was clear that he was trying his best to
remain anonymous. It was also clear that he wasn't very good at it.


Kei:  He was good enough to get that close before you noticed him...

Yuri: Now, Kei, be nice.




She had ripped the hood from off his head, and was rather surprised to
find Jimmy's secretary, Sebastian, under it.
He smiled weakly at her. "Greetings, Fraulein."


Zen-chan: Sebastian!  The lurker is revealed!

Yuri: But Sebastian's a writer... not a lurker.

Zen-chan: Well, yeah, but it's been *months* since the last chapter of
'Ranko 1/2'...  and now it's apparant why.  He's been moonlighting.




His eyes darkened. "I want the truth. It's getting increasingly harder to
find these days."


Kei:  A noble sentiment... but it might be better said, "increasingly
difficult to find"...




"I'm not trying to deceive you at all!" Bast exclaimed, the relaxed a bit.
"Look, finding the truth in the WWWA is difficult these days. Plus, it can
also kill. I'm not doing this cloak and dagger stuff to hide from you, I'm
doing it to hide from _them_."


Yuri: But he DOES say it that way... right here.

Kei:  Okay, so he's a redundant bastard.  So sue me.




"You don't trust your own boss?"
"Of course not. I know Jimmy better than almost anyone else, Agent Asuka.
And he scares me. It's a huge risk coming here to talk to you, but I'm
doing it because the alternative scares me even more."


Zen-chan: Good to see - trust your partners, yes.  But managament?  Never!




"Not 3WA, Agent Asuka. For Jimmy himself. Jimmy's plans have nothing to do
with the future of our organisation, take it from me." He turned back to
Rei. "Well? You do still have some sort of free will, or at least I hope
the CC left you that. Do you work for 3WA, or do you work for Jimmy
Daltrey?"


Zen-chan: You get the feeling that Sebastian here knows a LOT more than
he's telling...

Kei:  [grumbling] Like THIS is news...

Zen-chan: [worried]  Hey!  You said it wasn't really like that!

Yuri: [calmly]  It's not.  [glaring at Kei]  Some people just don't like
having to figure things out for themselves.

Kei:  [indignant]  Hey!  I figure out plenty on my own!  But I *do* like to
have a good idea who's gonna be shooting at me!

Yuri: [soberly] Well, yes... there is that...




Almost a minute went by while Rei blanked out. Bast just nodded, as if he
had expected this. Finally, she responded.  "I work for 3WA."


Zen-chan: Ayup.  A LOT more than he's telling.  Poor Asuka.




Asuka had had enough. "No disrespect, Mr. Weinberg, but to hell with you!
I'm not having you tell me what to do! I'm a trained 3WA agent, you know!
Plus, why are we supposed to trust you? Here you are, telling us that our
leader is this great evil figure? I don't buy it!"


Kei:  Nitwit.  If you don't hear him out, then you'll never get any idea
what he's lying about.

Yuri: Well, she *is* a rookie...  I remember YOU being rather hotheaded
when we first started.

Zen-chan: [muttering] Whaddya *mean* 'remember'....

Kei:  [growling] watchit, you...




Rei paused for a moment, then nodded. Bast quickly put the hood back over
his head.
Asuka looked him over. "You're only drawing attention to yourself in that
getup."


Zen-chan: [snorting]  She's got THAT right!




He sighed, and reached into his cloak. "And here, one more thing." He
handed Rei an envelope. "Only open this if you have no more options to
take. Opening too soon could be deadly. It could be deadly anyway, but
the later the better."


Kei:  Deadly for whom, one wonders?




Asuka tried to take the envelope, but Bast stopped her. "No. Rei, much
as I don't trust her, will take the envelope. You are simply too impulsive."
Asuka growled, then spun on her heel and stalked off. Rei looked at Bast
for a moment, then followed.
Bast allowed himself a sad smile. "I should have done more. I should be
doing more."  Instead, he headed back to Jimmy's office.


Yuri: Being a prisoner of conscience is a terrible thing.




She'd been through this once before, on her last visit, but was
surprised at how slick the whole thing had become. Her first meeting
with what would eventually become The Circle of Ouroboros hadn't gone
_nearly_ as smoothly...


Kei:  Sherman, set the wayback machine for...

Yuri: Sherman?  Who's Sherman?  And, for that matter, what's a 'wayback'
machine?

Kei:  [sighing] I just mean we have a flashback coming up.

Yuri: Oh.  Why didn't you just say so?




The man seemed to be staring at her in shock. The small woman turned
quickly to the twins, who simply said "World as Myth." This seemed to
satisfy her, and she turned back to face Cory.
The red-headed man finally exploded. "And what gives you the right to
order us around? From what I've been hearing, Miss Emerson, it looks as
if none of these people would have been killed at all if it hadn't been
for that rescue you needed. For what it's worth, we are going to try to
see if we can do something about this new situation, but frankly, it
doesn't look good. The last thing we need is someone like you telling
us all what to do!"
Cory stood there soundlessly for a few seconds, her jaw working itself
up and down. Then she brought her leg up, violently, driving her boot
into his unprotected groin before turning and running from the room. She
had no idea how large the place was, she just needed to get away. Tears
began streaming down her face.


Zen-chan: [wincing in sympathy] Now THAT he had coming.

Kei:  [grinning] Yup.  There are times when you just gotta love Cory...

Zen-chan: Well, she definitely got the Laz word in THAT exchange.

Yuri: [whaps Zen] Stop that, dammit.




"Lazarus, sometimes I don't even know why I waste my breath on you."
He tried to get his breath back and defend himself. "I don't have to
take that sort of attitude from -- "
He didn't get very far as Hilda leaned down close to him. "Why not? At
least for the moment? She's just been removed from her own universe,
against her will from what the twins have told me. She saw a space
station explode, killing thousands, including a good friend of hers.
Therefore, I think she has every right to be upset. _You_ have no
right to be."


Yuri: That's telling him, Hilda!



This time it was Jubal that interrupted. "Then something else would have
gone wrong. Lazarus, this is only the fifth mission we've ever attempted.
All of the others have had massive complications. What makes you think
that this one would be any different? Because it was Laz and Lor? That
made the probability of disaster go _up_, not down." The twins squeaked,


Kei:  Don't feel TOO bad, you two.  We get that kinda crap all the time.

Yuri: [nodding] S'right.  Insensitive boobs.




Hilda nodded, then proceeded to ignore Lazarus. She turned to Ishtar and
asked, "Are they all right?"
Ishtar nodded. The Angels were still staring blankly at the wall. "I'd
say they're still in shock. From what I can gather, this 'Mughi' meant
a lot to them. I'll see if I can have them ready for you to question in
twenty-four hours. Not before."


Kei:  Damn right Mughi means a lot.

Yuri: You *do* have a plan to save him, right Sean?

Kei:  Don't worry, Yuri.  He does.  [darkly]  He'd *better*.

Zen-chan: Have a little faith.  He'll pull it out.  Besides.  He knows that
there's a spatula with his name on it if he doesn't.




"Fine," Hilda said. "In the meantime, Laz, Lor, I want you to tell us
everything you know about these three. Do we have any sources we can
use?"
Laz and Lor nodded. By sources Hilda meant fictional stories and shows.
Hilda tried not to bring up the 'realness' of anyone, since it was
impossible to declare one universe more real than any other.



"We've got a complete collection, Aunt Hilda. Um...in fact, we've modelled
ourselves a bit after them."
Lazarus' eyes widened. "God help us," he said.


Kei:  [darkly] Remind me that we owe him a pop in the mouth for that one...

Zen-chan: Zen wonders if their collection is as complete as Zen's...

Yuri: [surprised] You have a collection too?

Zen-chan: [proudly] Hai!  Zen has a damned good one.

Yuri: Why?

Zen-chan: [hand behind her head] Ara... well... Zen just does.  That's all.

Yuri: [smiling] Sure Zen.  Whatever you say.




Cory had been pushing her emotions aside for the past few hours. She'd
been kidnapped, then rescued, then watched as a space station full of
thousands blew up right in front of her, taking Mughi with it. Now to
be suddenly told by someone she didn't even know that the whole thing
could have been avoided if they'd just left her behind...all of Cory's
pent-up frustration came out at once. She slumped down in the middle of
the corridor and began to weep.


Yuri: I remember days like that.  They're no fun.




She shook her head and smiled. "Sorry, this mission is getting to all of
us. Hilda Burroughs-Long. And you are...?"


Kei:  [Cory voice] Tired, Hungry and pissed off.  Where's the chocolate?




Cory looked distrustfully at the hand that was now being held out to her,
but decided there was no reason to dislike this woman besides her general
feelings of paranoia. "Cory Emerson."


Zen-chan: You gotta give her credit... Cory has managed to remain
remarkably diplomatic, given the circumstances.

Yuri: [nodding] Hai.  She has been doing rather well.




"Why don't we try to find someplace to talk? I can assure you, it will
be a room devoid of Lazaruses."


Kei:  [horrified] You mean that there's more than one?




Cory couldn't help but smile at that, and allowed herself to be helped
up. "I apologise for assaulting him, but...I've just had a bad day."


Yuri: And she has a gift for understatement...




"So it seems," Hilda said. They walked along the corridor into a huge
room with a pool and sauna. With a shock, Cory realised that it was a
bathroom. A really _big_ bathroom. "You people are rich, aren't you?"


Zen-chan: Naaah... at that tech level, money really isn't all that
relevant.  They're just hedonists.

Kei:  You say that like it was a *bad* thing...

Zen-chan: Not at all!

Kei:  [smirking] Oh, good.

Zen-chan: [nervous] And just what is *that* supposed to mean?

Kei:  [grinning evilly] Oh, you'll find out.

Zen-chan: ....




That 'guy' is Lazarus Long, the oldest living human. You mentioned one
of your friends knew who we are; did she say anything about us?"
"Just that you were fictional. Seemed ridiculous enough that I didn't
really think much about it. Kei can be a ditz at times..."


Kei:  Oi!  Remind me that I owe her a pop in the mouth for that one.




Hilda interrupted. "In this case, though, she's probably correct. There
are many universes out there, Cory. Millions. And most of them are...how
shall I put this? Writers with a strong enough imagination, and a reader
base to help that imagination thrive, can create 'worlds', though create
is probably not the best term, where these characters exist. Such as Star
Trek, or Barsoom. This is one of those worlds; so is yours."


Zen-chan: It makes sense, when you think about it.  When writing, the
characters often take on a life of their own.

Kei:  Yup.  And if you're not very, very careful, they'll come back and
bite you on the ass, ne, Zen-chan?

Zen-chan: ....




Hilda frowned momentarily. "In _this_ universe, you and your friends are
the fictional characters. As a matter of fact, I've got Laz and Lor combing
through their archives to try and get as much information about you as we
can. Don't worry, though, you won't see any of it. It can be uncomfortable
enough to know that some people regard you as fiction without reading your
words on a page."
Cory's mouth was still open at this revelation. "So, are you saying that
I'm not real?"


Zen-chan: That would explain a lot...  Zen has often felt that he was a
character in some demented fool's manga...

Kei:  I dunno, Zen...  That'd have to be one twisted writer...

Zen-chan: [pointing at screen]  And your point is?

Kei:  ....




Hilda shook her head. "You're as real as I am. Reality is a very fluid
concept, Cory. Do you think you're real?"
"Of course!"


Yuri: Reality is for people that can't handle science fiction.




Cory listened to this cacophony for a few seconds, then raised her voice.
"KNOCK IT OFF!" she screamed. Startled, the four of them turned to look at
her.  Ishtar didn't seem to be around, so Cory realised that it fell to
her to be the voice of reason. "Aren't you two supposed to be recovering?"
she asked the Angels. Then, turning to Laz and Lor, she added, "And you
two aren't helping. What is the problem here?"


Yuri: Cory?  The voice of reason?  Oh dear...

Kei:  NOW who's not being nice!

Zen-chan: Better Cory than Lazarus!




"They are trying to find out about you because they intend to go back
and see if they can fix what went wrong. They want to stop the space
station from blowing up. They want to stop all those people dying. They
want to save Mughi. I would think, with all of that going for them, you
could afford to tell them a little bit more about where you went to
fucking grade school and what your favourite turn-ons are. Now, if you'll
excuse me, I'm going to go and try to sleep off this headache. Gonna be
difficult, since between the four of you and Lazarus, I've got enough
stress to make my head explode!"


Kei:  .... So much for the voice of reason.

Yuri: And I thought *you* were crabby in the mornings...

Zen-chan: Is Kei not a morning person then?

Kei:  [hurt look] You mean you don't remember?

Zen-chan: .....




Laz and Lor also looked embarrassed. "It's just...this was our first big
legitimate mission. A chance to make good, and we totally screwed it up.
We're trying to figure out what went wrong."


Kei:  It sorta makes you wonder about the *illegitimate* missions.




Kei was curious. "So why are you questioning us?"
Lor got a little nervous. "Well...despite your constant denial of blame,
it can't be denied that a great deal of disastrous things happen when you
two are around. We want to find out why. We're going back to try and fix
what went wrong, and if you two come with us, we need to know how you
operate and how much of a myth 'The Dirty Pair' really are."


Kei:  Bad enough we get this in our own universe... now THEY start...

Yuri: [growling] Is there no peace anywhere?

Kei:  Like they can even talk...




Both of the Angels growled at the use of the hated nickname, but seemed
to acquiesce. "So what DO you need to know?" Kei asked.
Unfortunately at this point, Ishtar walked in. "Good, you're up. Feeling
all right?" Kei and Yuri nodded. "Fine," Ishtar continued, "then we'll
move you to guest quarters. I don't like keeping patients in a hospital
environment if they don't need it, and something tells me you two would
be bad patients anyway."


Zen-chan: Well, IM-patients, anyway.

Kei:  You just love to live dangerously, don'tcha Zen?

Zen-chan: ....




Hmm...Ish, did you notice the amount of cyberware they have implanted
in them?"
Ishtar frowned. "Yes, I did. I regard it as unhealthy, but if they want
it..." She turned back to the Angels. "I can remove it, if you'd like."
Kei and Yuri both put their hands to their necks protectively. "Are you
INSANE?!" Yuri yelled. "How could I possibly do all of my hacking without
my cyberware? I've had it since I was little, for crying out loud!"


Zen-chan: It's a quaint little invention called a 'keyboard'.

Yuri: You have GOT to know that the cyberware is orders of magnitude faster
and more efficient.

Zen-chan: Yah, but the idea of physical implants scares the pogees outta
Zen.  The inductive systems that the 3WA uses now are scary enough.

Kei:  Aw, implants aren't so bad.

Zen-chan: Yeah? You try having a precise implant, and then changing from a
guy to a girl at the touch of water...

Yuri: [wincing] Oh.  Ouch.  Point.




"What's so bad about it anyway?" Kei asked.
"Over-reliance on technology is always dangerous. You should at least
learn how to work without them. I mean, for God's sake, the two of you
have extensive intradermal communication in your skull for talking to
each other mentally. Why not just use your telepathy?"


Zen-chan: They make it sound so simple.

Yuri: [nodding] Like asking Paul Revere why he didn't just use the phone.




Kei and Yuri looked at her for a moment, and then cracked up. "I can't
believe we can still hook people in with that stuff," Kei said.
Ishtar looked puzzled. "What?"
"That was just a prank that Kei and I pulled at parties. We used it to
get scouted into 3WA as well. We'd pretend to be psychically linking to
each other's thoughts, but we'd just be scamming."


Zen-chan: Kei and Yuri scamming?  Shocked!  Zen is shocked to hear such a
thing!

Yuri: [looking to Kei, and pointing at Zen] I do believe she's having a
sarcasm.

Kei:  You think so?  Really?

Yuri: [pouting] You just wait.




Ishtar shook her head. "But you two _are_ psychic."
Kei started to speak. "No, we told you, it was -- "
"Look, I know what you think is the case, but trust me. Our facilities
are many orders better than yours, and we can test for these things. I'm
looking over your baseline readings. You two are psychic. Not a lot,
admittedly. But even without testing, I'd guess the two of you should be
able to link with each other quite easily."


Kei:  Would that be a serial or a parallel link?

Zen-chan: Doesn't matter a bit.

Yuri: [glaring at Zen] Well, it should be easier to hook up now...

Kei:  [curious] Oh?  Why's that?

Yuri: No more compatibility problems.  We have our own gender changer here.

Kei:  [giggles]

Zen-chan: ....




Yuri finally found her voice. "You mean...it was all _true_?"
"Well," Laz interrupted, "you two were able to pull off that psychic
'trick' with ease, even among trained 3WA professionals. Probably your
real abilities coming through. And you do seem empathic towards each
other, almost to the point of a mindlink. How good are those psychic
tests that the 3WA made you take?"


Zen-chan: It's amazing what one can accomplish when one does not know what
one can't do.




"They weren't good at all," Kei said. "I mean, psychic ability is a myth.
It's like something out of science fiction..." She paused mid-sentence,
realising that they were in exactly that myth right now.


Zen-chan: [snorting]  Do tell.

Kei:  [giggling]




"I think the reason you haven't realised it until now is that your cyber-
ware has pretty much taken over the task," Lor said. "I'm reading some of
your history, and you rely on it extensively, especially you, Yuri. You
haven't noticed your psychic abilities because you haven't really needed
to develop them. If you like, we can run you through some tests, to see
if we can awaken them."


Yuri: [defensively]  Well, it *is* a little more difficult to talk to a
computer with psionics rather than cybernetics...




Kei and Yuri looked at each other. The idea of real psychic powers was
seductive, but they didn't really know what the consequences would be.
"Would this affect our ability to be trouble consultants?" Yuri asked.
Laz and Lor nodded. "You bet," Laz replied. "It might make you almost
twice as effective."
The Angels' eyes bugged out. "You're on!" they chorused.
Ishtar nodded. "I'll get together with Tamara and Minerva to see what
we can do." A little voice inside her was saying that this might not be
a wise idea, but it couldn't make itself heard.


Zen-chan: Those little voices never do seem to attract the attention they
ought to.

Yuri: Oh, come on, Zen...  would you have passed up the chance?

Zen-chan: [sighing]  Of course not.  Though the price can be pretty high.

Yuri: What could be that bad about it?

Zen-chan: Oh, there's a downside.  Believe it.

Yuri: Knowing that, would you do it again?

Zen-chan: Without even thinking about it.




About six and a half hours later, it happened. Kei suddenly felt as if a
warm wave had passed through her body, and suddenly, she could sense Yuri's
presence. No, more than just sense. Yuri's feelings, emotions, and thoughts
were laid open to her. She also knew that Yuri was experiencing the same
things. For a moment she felt a twinge of jealousy, but then relaxed as she
came to understand the closeness that the two felt.

They had always been best friends, but had never truly realised what that
meant. Kei cried as she saw the extent of Yuri's trust and friendship, and
knew that she felt the same way. They felt their minds begin to twine
together, and let it happen, lost in a total state of ecstasy...


Zen-chan: [smiling sadly] A friendship that close is a rare thing indeed.

Yuri: Well, it's true... Kei and I share everything.  Even if we do fight
amongst ourselves from time to time.

Zen-chan: You share everything?

Yuri: [nodding] Everything.  Well, maybe not the chocolate...

Zen-chan: [smiling]  Some things are sacrosanct, ne?

Kei:  Don't let her kid you, Zen.




Which is why it was such a shock to the system when Minerva slapped Kei in
the face, snapping her out of her reverie. "Kei, do you hear me? Do you
know who you are?"
Kei blinked, and almost began to cry again. "Why did you do that? I was..."
Minerva held Kei's face in her hands. "You were about to lose yourself. I
could tell that you and your friend had discovered what you were looking
for, but you were going too far. You could have ended up unable to cope
with being alone in your own mind again."


Zen-chan: [nodding]  Sage advice.  You never really appreciate what 'alone'
means until you experience something like that.

Kei:  True... but it's more a matter of where you are when you're alone...

Yuri: Yes... If there's anything that's worse than being all alone in the
night, it's being all alone... in a crowd.




Kei felt unable to cope as it was. She felt a gaping hole in her mind
where Yuri had been. Gazing over to her partner, she could see a lost
look in Yuri's eyes, and knew it mirrored her own.


Zen-chan: [looking grey]  A very... apt... description.




Minerva smiled. "The two of you seem to be incredibly empathic, which is
why you feel so poorly. The comfort of knowing your friend's thoughts and
feelings is very seductive. The key is to know yourself, so that you can
use those feelings without becoming overwhelmed by them. Now, let's try
again. I will try to guide you this time. We didn't know the shape your
powers would take at first, so I remained outside. But empathy is definitely
something I can help you with. If you will let me."
Kei knew that she would do anything to experience that feeling again.
She nodded.


Yuri: 'Seductive' is a good word for it, I should think.

Kei:  'Addictive' would be another one.




She paused. "I want you to sleep together tonight," she suddenly said.
Kei and Yuri yelped. "Listen," Yuri said, "I don't know what kind of
rumours anyone's been telling you, but we are _not_ _GAY_!!!"


Zen-chan: [snorts]

Yuri: What's so funny, Zen-chan?

Zen-chan: Nothing really 'funny' as such... It's just odd how people jump
to conclusions about relationships.

Kei:  You mean like two guys can be close as brothers and no one bats an
eye, but let it be two women, and all of a sudden they're lezzies?

Zen-chan: Hai.  Or, even more so, if a guy and a girl are close, it can't
possibly be platonic.




Minerva blinked. "Oh, I didn't mean sex, though it wouldn't bother anyone
here if you did. In the Long family, we're almost all bisexual. No, I just
meant sleeping in the same bed, being close to each other. You've reached
the point where your mind's defences will prevent another control loss such
as you suffered earlier, and your unconscious minds may end up succeeding
where your conscious ones do not."


Kei:  Well, that's something that you gotta give the Long bunch credit for...

Yuri: What's that?

Kei:  They're not so hung up about their bed partners... they're not scared
to have a good time with a close friend.

Zen-chan: ....




Kei and Yuri blushed, but reluctantly agreed. As they prepared for bed,
they avoided each other's gazes, even though they'd spent most of the
evening in close mental contact. Finally they settled down and lay on
the bed, but sleep eluded them.
"You awake, Yuri?"
"Yup."
"What are you thinking about?"
"About Mughi...and that case that blew up in our faces...and whether these
people are telling the truth...and how much we can trust them...and about
the way that Cory's been acting very weird since arriving here."
Kei blinked. "That's a lot to think about."
Yuri laughed softly. "That's what I _should_ be thinking about. I try to
get my mind to think about those things. But I can't. I keep thinking
about you."
Kei smiled. "Yeah, me too."
"Well, of course. I mean, you always think about yourself..." "That's not
what I meant!" Kei sniped. The sound of Yuri's giggling kept her from being
too mad, though. Anyway, she was finding it difficult to argue with Yuri
anymore at all. She knew her too well.


Zen-chan: [sniffling]  Lovely...




There was a long pause, then Yuri spoke up again. "Kei, there was...there
was so much about you that I never knew. You were always my best friend,
but...I never knew you were so complicated."
Kei felt a warm glow in her chest. "Serves you right for underestimating
me," she laughed, but inside she was revelling in Yuri's words. "It was
the same for me, you know. I found out so many things about your life,
about your hopes and feelings."


Zen-chan: You know... It's nice seeing this side of you two in a fic...  It
makes the story ever so much more enjoyable when the characters are
whole...

Yuri: You mean being portrayed as more than just a bimbo with a blaster?
Yes, it *is* a refreshing change.

Kei:  [nodding] It is.  Though, I suspect that you shouldn't get too used
to it, Zen...

Zen-chan: Eh?  You think Sean is gonna drop the character development?

Kei:  No, not that.  But there aren't many writers out there that take the
time to get to know us before they write...

Zen-chan: Oh.  Yes, point taken.  [sighs]  Well, it's definitely their loss.



"Feelings." Yuri picked up on the word. "That's what's keeping me up. How
did it feel to you when we finally linked minds?"


Zen-chan: Now *there's* a loaded question.




Kei took her time before answering. There were no secrets between them
anymore, but she still clung to old privacy habits. "It was incredible.
I mean, how do you describe it? It was like firing my first gun, eating
my first cheesecake, my first orgasm...it was the best thing that's ever
happened to me in my life."


Zen-chan: And an equally loaded answer.  But very much in character.

Yuri: Eh?  What do you mean, 'in character'?

Zen-chan: Well, look at the list of superlatives.  Those are all very much
things that Kei likes, ne?  [quietly] Besides... how else *would* you
describe something like that?

Yuri: [nodding] Yes, I can see that.  Very true.




Yuri turned, so that her face was right up close to Kei's. "Kei... do you
think we can handle being that close? Knowing that much about each other?"

Kei frowned. Yuri was afraid, for some reason. Kei could sense that all
of her mental shields were up. What was the problem? "Yuri, what is it?"

Yuri shifted, until her face was almost touching Kei's. "Kei, I love you."

Kei blinked. That had not exactly been the revelation she'd been expecting.
"And?"

"And I don't know what to do about it!" Yuri suddenly got up and stomped
across the floor. "I could deal with friendship, even close friendship,
but..."

Kei could see that Yuri was starting to panic. She was still puzzled by
her actions. "Yuri, I love you too. I mean, we both saw into each other's
heads..."

Yuri was shaking. "But I'm not a lesbian! I like men! I thought that every
time I denied it, I was telling the truth."


Zen-chan: [shrugging]  Dunno what the big deal is.  If Zen were a girl,
Zen'd go for either of you in a heartbeat.

Kei:  [with a feral grin] Oh?  Would you now?

Zen-chan: [nodding, oblivious]  Hai.

Yuri: Ara... Zen-*chan*... You *are* a girl.

Zen-chan: [freezes] [blinks] [blinks again] [looks at herself] Ara...  Oh.

Kei:  [breathily] So which of us will it be, Zen-chan?

Yuri: [smirking] Oh, no you don't.  You at least have to share, Kei.

Zen-chan: Eeep!  [looks nervously from side to side]  Uhmmm...  Shouldn't
this wait 'til after the review?

Yuri: [pouting] Oh, if you insist.  Just this once.




Now suddenly, it all became clear for Kei. Yuri wasn't upset by what she
saw in Kei's mind. It was what she saw in her own that bothered her. Kei
got up and walked over to Yuri, putting her arms around her shoulders.
Yuri began to shiver, but Kei stopped her by hugging her harder.
"Yuri, why does this bother you so much? We love each other. Doesn't mean
it's a sexual love. I like guys, so do you. I just know that I would give
my life for you. I know that you are the one I can tell my closest problems
to. I know that living a life without you in it would be hollow and worth-
less. I know that you and I are so close now, we almost have the same soul."


Zen-chan: Kinda explains why you two are such a good team, ne?

Kei:  [non-chalant] It might have something to do with it.




Yuri was still unconvinced. "I mean, I find you attractive!"
"Damn straight, girl. I'm quite the beauty, and don't you forget it."
That made Yuri laugh.  Kei then turned serious again. "Yuri, you're
gorgeous. I know that. Answer me this: do you want to have sex with me?"


Zen-chan: Well, he's definitely got you in character, Kei.

Yuri: [smirking]  You mean arrogant and self centered?

Zen-chan: Actually, Zen was going to say self confident and compassionate...

Kei:  [hastily ditching beer bottle]  ....




For almost five minutes, there was not a sound in the room. Finally, Yuri
said, "No, I don't."
"Then we don't. Just know that we love each other, and are closer than
we've ever been. That's enough. Love doesn't have to be that way."
Yuri smiled, then got up and hugged her partner, properly this time. "I
knew there was a reason you were the emotional hothead."
Kei frowned momentarily, and Yuri giggled again. They both got back into
bed, and Kei began to drop off. Just before she fell asleep, she heard
Yuri again. "Kei?"
"Nnngh?"
"If I had said yes...what would you have done?"
Kei smiled. "Ask me again sometime and you'll find out." And with that,
Kei dropped off to sleep. It took a few more minutes for Yuri to fall
asleep, though.


Yuri: That's a good question... what *would* you have done?

Kei:  [whispers in Yuri's ear]

Yuri: [eyes wide]  Maaaa!  [looks at Zen-chan] [narrows eyes] Hmmmm....

Zen-chan: .....




Cory found herself once again superfluous. Lazarus was present at all the

meetings, and never let one go by without a little jab at her. Cory tried

to match him in verbal repartee, but to her it just ended up sounding
whiny.


Yuri: Cory should have more faith in herself.  As a writer, she'd be pretty
good with words...

Kei:  Yeah, and particularly considering her area of specialty as a
reporter...  Talking to all those celebrities and politicos, you'd have to
be pretty fast with a comeback.




She hadn't been especially pleased upon meeting the Long extended family,
either. For God's sake, even the ones that *weren't* built like an hour-
glass were absolutely drop dead gorgeous. Plus there was their habit of
running around naked at times, as if it was a normal occurrence. This
included the men, who all appeared to be hung like horses. BIG horses.


Zen-chan: You'd never catch Zen wandering around in the buff like that!

Kei:  And why not?  You're a real looker, specially bein' a red-head and
all that.

Zen-chan: That's not really the point.  It's impractical.

Yuri: This from the one who didn't even notice when the cabin heaters in
the _Angel_ went out...

Zen-chan: No, that's not it either.

Yuri: [confused] Then what is it?

Zen-chan: No pockets!




Now, Cory knew that her body wasn't all that bad, but it was not super-
model quality. She could stand to lose a few pounds here and there...and
GAIN a few in certain places. Her self-esteem, already thrown off by
running around with the Angels, whose breasts were the stuff of legend,
had plummeted.


Zen-chan:  Supermodel?  Maybe not.  But darned cute as Zen recalls.

Yuri: Sure, Zen, but it's a matter of comparison.  For once, Cory's not one
of the 'beautiful people', and that can come as quite a shock.

Zen-chan:  Well, welcome Cory to the real world...  Zen spent the better
part of thirty years as a troll.  Heck, if it weren't for the curse and the
bloody nanites...

Yuri: A woman's ego can be a fragile thing.

Zen-chan: [unimpressed]  Maybe.  But when you get right down to it, Neither
of you *really* knows what it's like to be ugly...  to be anything BUT drop
dead gorgeous, do you?

Yuri: .....

Zen-chan: Thought not.  It's not a lot of fun.




As a result, her mood had soured to the point where all she wanted to do
now was stomp around the corridors and growl at people. And that's exactly
what she was doing.


Zen-chan: Been there... done that.  Oki no doku desu, Cory-san.




Kei and Yuri hadn't really been talking to her much lately, but that was
mostly due to their new training, as well as their new mindset. They were
together _constantly_, and not just in the same room. They seemed to be

constantly touching each other, or making any form of contact they

possibly
could. They were also more relaxed and happier than Cory had ever seen them.


Zen-chan: They would be... there's nothing in the world as comforting as
the knowledge that you have one, unshakeable friendship... and absolute
faith in it.

Yuri: Yes.  Knowing that there is someone that knows everything there is to
know about you... and that they still love you in spite of it all...

Kei:  And that there is absolutely nothing that you can't trust them
with... nothing that you can't share with them.




She'd known they were top 3WA agents, and had seen them prove it. But they
looked like rookies compared to what she was seeing now. The two of them
moved as one person, quickly taking out any targets that they saw. Antici-
pating this, Hilda, who was conducting the training, set up obstacles to
split them up. The split did not seem to impact their efficiency, as they
took out the enemies just as quickly.


Yuri: [grinning] Now that's what you call teamwork, ne, Kei-chan?




Cory was stunned. With their new-found psychic abilities, and the training
they were receiving from Hilda, they could waste almost anything out there.
The universe had better watch out when they got back...


Kei:  Too damn right!




The mission was turning out to be a breeze. Cory was back on the Dora,
well-hidden in case anyone had prying sensors, but Kei and Lor were both
carrying intradermal cameras, so Cory had a perfect view of what was
happening.


Kei:  Uh oh...  If something is going THAT smoothly, then someone forgot
something...

Yuri: I have a bad feeling about this...




The plan was to watch Cory's earlier self be kidnapped, and follow them
(while not interfering with the kidnapping, of course). They would then
follow one of the kidnappers back to his group, and wrap things up from
there. This would prevent the bombing, and all would be well.


Zen-chan: Sounds like a recipe for paradox.

Yuri: Oh?  How do you figure?

Zen-chan: Well, if they stop the bombing, they stop the need to escape, so
the original Laz and Lor and Kei and Yuri need not escape.  They'd never
have rotated to Boondock, and never have gotten the training they needed to
come back and fix it, so they wouldn't, and so it all would have gone as it
had originally, and...

Kei:  [clapping her hands over her ears]  Stop!  You're making my head
hurt!  I *knew* there was a reason that I hated Time Travel...




If there was a disaster, they had Gay Deceiver standing by as a backup.
Gay could, if necessary, home in on their signal and bring them aboard,
thus giving them more time to disarm the Watchdog troops and make sure
the bomb was not a problem.
This gave Cory a fine view for when things went completely and utterly
wrong.


Zen-chan: Who didn't see *that* coming?  Raise your paw.

Kei & Yuri: [NOT raising paws]

Zen-chan: Thought so.




To her surprise, the man went white as a sheet. Turning to an assistant,
he yelled, "I thought you checked out Loader before we left!"
The girl seemed just as scared. "I did! He was clean! There's no way -- "


Zen-chan: Loader?  Oh no...

Yuri: You know him?

Zen-chan: Oh yes.  If it's the guy Zen thinks it is.  Remember that
investigator that had it in for the two of you during that incident with
the Ranma murders?

Kei:  You mean the Anime Town Frame?

Zen-chan: Ayup.  Well, meet Niccolo.

Yuri: What'd we ever do to *him*?




The man nodded furiously. "We managed to plant someone in Lawson Enter-
prises. Mike Loader, one of our best men. But he's been getting weird
lately. We probably should have pulled him out but that would have
aroused suspicion!"


Zen-chan: Oh, shit.  It's him.




Kei evidently thought the same thing, as she took off after her partner.


Zen-chan: Zen has a really bad feeling...




She leaped out the door, and ran to get the others. That was the reason
she ended up colliding with Lazarus coming in the other direction, and
both of them crumpling to the floor in a heap.


Yuri:  Wonder if she got him in the 'nads again...




Cory didn't need to, for at that moment, Gay Deceiver arrived right next
to Dora. The door opened, and Hilda's voice could be heard. "Get Ishtar
in here, pronto! Medical emergency! We have severe brain trauma and mental
breakdown! Get Tamara as well!"


Kei:  NOT a good sign.

Zen-chan: [nods mutely, knuckles white]




Cory ran over to the door, where she saw Hilda, Laz and Lor gathered
around a shape on the floor. With a sick feeling, Cory realised that
it was Kei. She was convulsing wildly and her face looked wrong, with
half of it pale white and the other half speckled with red.


Zen-chan: Maaaaa.....




"My God," Cory exclaimed. "Who did that to her?" Lor looked up, tears
running down her cheeks. "Yuri did. We couldn't get to her in time, and
she was on the station when it blew up. This is all a result of the
psychic feedback that blew through Kei's mind when she felt Yuri's death."


Zen-chan: [VERY small voice] Welcome to the downside of telepathic bonding.



Cory paled, but that was nothing compared to the shock of Hilda's next
two sentences.
"We're worried she may not ever recover mentally. It doesn't look good."


Yuri: [softly] Hilda has a gift for understatement

Zen-chan: [whimpers and nods]




Cory shivered as the memories of that day flooded back. That had been one
of the worst days of her life. She began to regret coming up here alone,
and wished there was someone she could talk to about this.


Zen-chan: [nodding] [quiet voice] Yes... that's the sort of thing that
stays with you...  no matter how much time has passed.



"Miss Emerson?"
*Well, I walked right into that one,* Cory mused. She turned, and saw
Lazarus standing by the door.


Kei:  Ayup.  Be VERY careful what you wish for.




In addition, Kei and Yuri had pleaded with the Circle to see if they could
rescue a few friends of theirs. Lazarus had balked, but the list turned out
to be surprisingly small. The Angels didn't really make friends among
their >fellow agents, since most didn't see past their reputation. Lazarus
finally >relented after seeing Kei's eyes begin to brim with tears.


Zen-chan: Hai... good friends are damned hard to come by.

Yuri: They are for a fact.




Hilda explained privately afterwards that Lazarus could not resist a
crying female.


Yuri: Well, *that's* useful information.




Cory was beginning to wonder whether something was wrong with Lazarus. He
continued to avoid speaking to her when he could, a far cry from the
Lazarus she knew, who delighted in belittling her.
She turned to look at him, and almost laughed out loud. His expression
reminded her of a wounded puppy. It was so different from the face he
usually wore around her that she barely recognised him.


Zen-chan: Well, no one likes to be hated... not even Lazarus, Zen'll wager.




"Kei and Yuri get their friends, Minerva and Deirdre check out the
Central Computer, and you and I see if we can spy on Jimmy."
She noted Lazarus' look again and decided to stop torturing him. "Look,
you want to talk to me, talk. I promise to try to listen to you without
going nuts."


Yuri: But just in case, you'd better be wearing a cup, Laz...

Kei:  [sniggers]




"We're partners, call me Cory. Yes, I know you've been nice to me lately.
But it's not going to immediately make up for your being nasty to me for
so long. Keep it up, and I'll come around. I promise."
He frowned. "I don't know if I like those arrangements..."
She grinned at him. "Tough. I'm going to act like a spoiled brat on this
one, because I feel it's the only treatment you'll understand."
"You've been talking to Hilda."
"It shows, huh?"


Kei:  [giggles]  That's Cory all right.  Looks like she's got a handle on
ol' Lazarus now.




"Very much. Shall we get on to talking about our plan of attack?"
Cory stretched out like a cat. She'd won, and it made her feel much
better. She could feel the depression lift right off of her, and she
actually smiled at Lazarus. "Why don't we do that?"


Yuri: Well, maybe not the start of a beautiful friendship, but it *is* an
improvement.

Zen-chan: And it's nice to see that Lazarus doesn't behave like an ass ALL
of the time.




Jamie sighed as she headed back to her room. She was so tired, she didn't
even think she'd bother to shower and change. She just wanted to lie on
her bed and sleep for a thousand years.


Kei:  Hey, Zen... she looks like you!

Zen-chan: ....




She'd been feeling that way more often lately. When she had first started
with the 3WA, it had been a life of excitement and adventure, just like
the anime. She'd gone on several missions with the Lovely Angels, and
blown lots of stuff up. It had been, quite literally, a blast.


Zen-chan: Well, more accurately, a LOT of blasts.  And it's certainly been
educational.




But recently things hadn't been the same. She'd been suddenly reassigned,
and when she had asked Kei and Yuri why, they'd been very evasive. After
that, they seemed to avoid her. That depressed Jamie much more than she
cared to admit. Kei and Yuri had been very close to her, and Jamie was
wondering how she had offended them.


Yuri: [reassuring] You know that we'd never do that to you, don't you?

Zen-chan: Hai.  Though Zen suspects that in this story, Zen does not know
about the clones.




Then she began to hear the stories of the Angels' latest missions. The
casualties had gone up by orders of magnitude. Jamie hadn't believed it
at first, but someone on the inside showed her the mission logs. They
were not pleasant. There were many, many deaths that could have been
easily avoided.
She had confronted them about it one night. They acted as if they were
uncomfortable around her, and drew the conversation to a close quickly.
Moreover, they didn't seem to feel bad about what they had done -- or
even what had happened around them.


Yuri: [shuddering]  That would be... unpleasant.




She remembered nights when she would hold Kei and Yuri tightly, comfort-
ing them as they related the newest atrocities that could not be avoided
on their missions.

But they were totally different now. Soulless. Jamie eventually decided
that they had finally given up. Too much death in too short a time, and
all of it blamed on them. They had shut themselves off from the pain,
and got on with their lives. At the cost, it would appear, of their
humanity.


Kei:  [subdued] A pretty bleak picture...




There were other things that weighed on Jamie's mind too. Their new boss,
Jimmy Daltrey, was another cause of her distress. *Now there's a used-car
salesman if ever there was one. Zen trusts him as far as Zen can throw

him...aaargh, Zen is doing it again.*



Kei:  [grinning]  Ayup.  That's our Zen all right!




Jamie tended sometimes to talk in the third person, when she was excited
or wanted to be cute. But lately she had found herself thinking that way
far more often...and that was dangerous. If she stopped thinking of her-
self in the first person, it would be the first step on the road Kei and
Yuri had taken.


Zen-chan: And the yellow brick road it ain't.

Yuri: Too right.




But what other options were there? The 3WA's retirement policy had gotten
incredibly strict lately, especially with the number of agent deaths
recently. Jamie was simply too valuable a resource for the Central
Computer to consider letting go...especially as the CC was one of the few
entities in this universe who _knew_ Jamie's past.


Zen-chan:  But the statute of limitations has run on most of it!  Besides!
It was in a completely different universe!

Kei:  Relax, Zen... no one's gonna blab...





Jamie entered her room and sighed. She didn't want to think about things
like this when she was tired, it was a good way to get suicidal. All she
needed was a good night's sleep, and she could think more clearly in the
morning.  She looked at the sink, contemplating a nice steamy shower to
relax. But that would mean changing, and she didn't even have the energy
for that. She crashed face-down on the bed, and sighed. A tear fell from
her eye.  "Where are you now that I need you? Dammit, I'm the one who
needs the shoulder to cry on now."
"Ask and ye shall receive," said a quiet voice from above her head.
Jamie rolled over, and found herself looking into the grinning face of Kei.
More to the point, even though Kei was smiling, there was also a tear in
her eye.  She turned, and saw Yuri beside the bed...with a hypo.
"Zen-chan, we'll explain everything. It'll be all right. I promise."
And with that, she stabbed the spray into Jamie's arm. Everything grew
blissfully black.


Yuri: [subdued] Boy, Sean sure paints a grim picture of the 3WA...

Zen-chan: [nodding]  Hai.  He does...




Asuka was sitting in a corner, having nothing to do at the moment but
try to watch Rei tap the Central Computer for information. Asuka had
thought that the task would be impossible, but Rei told her that she
had gotten 'special knowledge' that would help.


Zen-chan:  Zen has the feeling that when the nature of that 'special
knowledge' comes to light, Asuka here is gonna pop a gasket...

Kei:  Oh?  You know something we don't?

Zen-chan: No... Zen just has a nasty, suspicious mind, remember?

Yuri: True...

Zen-chan: Besides.  This is Sean 'angst: it's not just for breakfast any
more' Gaffney what's writing this... It's almost a forgone conclusion.




It did seem to be helping. Rei was tearing through the system, gathering
more and more on Shasti and her past. Bast may have been a jerk about it,
but he was right about one thing: Jimmy had lied to them about a great
deal of this case.


Zen-chan: Jimmy lied?  Imagine that.

Kei:  Zen, dear, it's rude to reach sarcasm before your partners do.

Zen-chan: (!)




Unfortunately, the criminal's psyche had infected her own wetware, and
caused her to lose her mind. She had killed her partner, Deirdre, and
seriously injured the Lovely Angels, then rookies on one of their first
cases.


Zen-chan: [shuddering]  Damn, but Zen is glad the 3WA doesn't do that sort
of thing anymore...

Yuri: [nodding]  Basically, there's no point... if you're not going to use
your agents' natural abilities, then why bother with agents that have any?




The final piece of information Rei had uncovered was the most telling. It
was a report from Dr. Ritsuko Akagi to the then head of 3WA, a Mr. Ayoob.
It stated that the most likely reason for Shasti's breakdown was a flaw
in her design.


Zen-chan: A flaw in her design?  Feh.  It might also have been at least in
part from treating her like equipment instead of a person.

Yuri: To say nothing of overwriting elements of the operating system with
foreign code.

Zen-chan: Poor Shasti.  No one ever cut her a break.




Further, Dr. Akagi had made cryptic statements that 'the other project'
should also be watched closely, and not be given any opportunities to
advance.
Other project? Asuka had hoped that this search of the Computer's system
would answer their questions; instead, it just gave them more without
having cleared up anything.


Zen-chan: You're looking at it all wrong, Asuka-san.  It's cleared up
plenty!  Trust No one!

Yuri: The truth is out there!

Kei:  [growling]  Stop that...




Talking with the Pair hadn't helped. Asuka had taken great pains to be
nice to them in an effort to get some answers. But they ignored her
questions, instead going on about how they were going to go out and get
bombed, then try to pick up some men.


Kei:  .....

Yuri: No, that's backwards.  The men *think* they pick *us* up, and *they*
pay for the drinks.

Zen-chan: [blinks]




Asuka wasn't the most dedicated agent in the world, but even she had
been disgusted by their behaviour. These weren't the Lovely Angels that
stories were told about; the ones who solved every case, no matter how
difficult. They were the subject of the _other_ stories; the stories
about the agents who brought death and destruction. The Dirty Pair. From
what Asuka had seen, the name fit.


Kei:  Hey!  Knock it off with that name!

Zen-chan: Relax, Kei... it's the damned clones she's talking about.

Yuri: [shudders] Yah... though it gives you an idea how Cory must feel,
with that clone running around, making HER reputation worse too...




Rei straightened up. Asuka wouldn't have noticed if it were anyone else,
but she was training herself to respond to Rei's body language, since she
showed so little emotion. Rei straightening up was the equivalent of a
loud gasp from anyone else.


Zen-chan: You know, if these two survive this fiasco, they're well on the
way to becoming a top flight team.

Kei:  It's a good start.  It's interesting to see the struggle to adapt on
Asuka's part... though, I for one, want to learn a lot more about Rei.




"There's someone else trying to break into the system." Rei replied.
There was a trace of something in her voice, a tightness that wasn't
usually there.


Yuri: Whups!  Looks like Minerva got caught.




Asuka tried again to uplink to the Central Computer to see what was
happening, but she had no more success than before. She was a pretty
good hacker; it was another one of those subjects that, after four
years of training, she'd managed to excel in. But this wasn't just any
computer. The Central Computer was sentient, and therefore hacking into
it was dangerous at best, lethal at worst.


Kei:  Maybe it just didn't want to talk to her...  It can be a damned
snooty machine from time to time.




Rei had merely watched Asuka get frustrated for a few minutes, then
stepped over and inserted a cyberjack. Within seconds, she'd managed
to uplink and started finding the information they needed. Asuka didn't
know whether to be impressed or disturbed at that.


Zen-chan: There's no reason that you can't be both, Asuka dear...

Yuri: Yep, there's a lot more to Rei than meets the eye.

Kei:  I wonder just what her relationship with the CC really *is*...




Now she was once again left out, watching while Rei remained motionless,
attempting to draw out their opponent...


Zen-chan: Welcome to the land of confusion, Captain Dunsel.

Yuri: Dunsel?

Zen-chan: An archaic term from Terran Navy usage... a 'dunsel' is a part
that serves no useful purpose.

Yuri: Oh.




Minerva winced, and disconnected herself from the computer. "I was
spotted."
Deirdre raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said that no one would be
able to catch you?"
"No one should have been," Minerva replied, frowning slightly. "At
first I thought that the computer itself was fighting me, but it was
definitely an organic brain that I felt. Perhaps..."


Kei:  Gotta hate it when that happens...




Deirdre noticed Minerva's attempt to change the subject, but said
nothing about it. "I'll have Gay arrange to pick up Kei and Yuri as
well. I hope they managed to find everyone they needed..."


Zen-chan: One can only hope...




"There are some things that need to be done before we can go on. I've
fixed the Central Computer; you should be able to hack into it with no
problems now."


Zen-chan: Curiouser and curiouser.

Yuri: Makes you wonder why she didn't do that to start with...




Asuka was a little confused. "I don't understand. Why do we need to
split up? We're partners."
Rei turned to Asuka. "I cannot ask you to do this. Please." For a moment,
Rei smiled again.


Kei:  To do *what*, dammit!  [grumbles] And I'll bet a week's pay that we
don't find out in this part either...




Asuka was beginning to get a little annoyed at being railroaded into
this. "Hey!" she snapped. "Who's supposed to be the leader of this
team, anyway?"


Yuri: [giggles] That's Asuka all right...




Rei paused. "Asuka, if you let me do this, afterwards I promise to follow
every order you give me."
And with that she ran out of the room.


Kei:  And that's very Rei.

Zen-chan: Still, it's hard to imaging Rei 'running' like that...




She suddenly felt a lot better about their partnership. *All right,
partner,* she thought. *Let's see what you saw in there that got you
all het up.*


Zen-chan: You can bet THAT file's not on your list...




Asuka inserted the cyberjack to begin downloading the information. This
time, there was no resistance - her eyes glazed as her mind made the link
to the Central Computer...


Kei:  THAT had an ominous ring to it.

Zen-chan: Naaah.  It's a fake-out.

Yuri: How can you be so sure?

Zen-chan: It's just a hunch... but the CC in this story seems to have its
own agenda...  and ghoddess only knows what *that* is.




Then, fate moved to thrust them together. Jamie's partner was killed
on a difficult espionage mission, and reassigning him proved difficult.
Bridget had gotten pregnant, and the 3WA decided to reassign her partner
in the interim.


Yuri: Boy, the 3WA's just lousy with Jamies, isn't it?

Kei:  [looking at Zen-chan] Well, in Zen's case, the name is a nicely
androgynous variant on her real name.

Yuri: [nods] That scans.




This proved difficult within an organisation like 3WA, which frowned
strongly on inter-agent relations. Luckily, they had a few friends
within the agency. They managed to get themselves assigned as partners,


Yuri: Ara... the agency frowns on inter-agent relations?  Since when?

Kei:  This is an alternate, remember?  It's not like that for us.

Yuri: Oh, good.  We'd all be in a mess then, ne?

Zen-chan: Ara... Zen thinks they mean 'marriage' here anyway.




Bridget had a beautiful girl, whom she named Rachel. As for Jamie and
Bridget, they rose once again to the top of the 3WA agents list, where
they remained for two more years.


Zen-chan: That's eight!

Yuri: Eh?  Eight what?

Zen-chan: Eight!  Eight top agents!  Bwaaah ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Kei:  [thwaps Zen] Time for your medication again, isn't it?

Zen-chan: Thanks.  Zen needed that.

Yuri: Don't sweat it... the story' freakin' me out too.




Then things started to fall apart. More and more of the assignments that
were given to them were of a...questionable nature. 3WA had always been a
troubleshooting organisation, but they'd never sunk to terrorism, and many
of these assignments smacked of that sort of thing.


Kei:  The 3WA doing wetwork?  [shudders]  Ugh.




Their own little group began to dissolve. Kei and Yuri seemed to have
snapped, and were walking around acting like bimbonic company shills.
Zen (or 'the other Jamie', as Bridget called her) retreated further into
her own thoughts, eventually shutting everyone else out.


Kei:  [growling] 'bimbonic company shills'?

Yuri: [pat patting Kei]  Clones, remember?  Clones.

Kei:  [twitching]  Yah, but still...





Finally Jamie and Bridget had had enough. There just wasn't any reason
to continue. They went to the head of 3WA, Jimmy Daltrey, and handed in
their resignations. Unfortunately, this had proved to be the biggest
mistake of all.


Zen-chan: Yes... given the circumstances, that *was* bloody stupid...

Yuri: And why hadn't you run, then, Zen-chan?

Zen-chan: To go where?  Without a fold drive on the _Pathfinder_, Zen would
have pretty well been stuck in United Galactica territory.  Nowhere to hide.



>From that moment on they had been watched by very skilled agents. If

Jamie and Bridget hadn't already been incredibly paranoid, they would
never have noticed.


Kei:  But *is* it paranoia when they really ARE out to get you?




An hour ago, in desperation, they had turned to the one friend they
thought they had left; Bridget's old partner, Maya Ibuki. They had
remained close even after Maya had been reassigned. Maya had been the
one friend that had stayed with them when things had fallen apart, the
one person they could count on.


Zen-chan: [wincing] Oh, are THEY in for a nasty shock...

Yuri: [pale]  Hai...



They had gotten to the clinic, only to be confronted with the final
nightmare: Maya, sneering at them, all traces of warmth or friendship
missing from her face.


Kei:  Major tactical error.  Instead of 'run - grab kid' it should have
been 'grab kid - run'.




There were also five other 3WA agents in the room, all carrying weapons.


Zen-chan: Whups....




Suddenly both of them were stopped by a figure in the corridor. It was
Maya. Her face still held that sneer they had seen earlier, but now there
was a note of triumph there as well.
"Did you think you were going somewhere? I wouldn't bother if I were you.
Your little grub has already been dealt with."


Yuri: Oh, that was cold....

Zen-chan: [nods mutely]




Kei was standing in front of them, tears in her eyes, looking down at the
woman she'd just killed. She looked to be on the verge of sobbing.
"Maya too," she said. "Gods, when is this gonna stop? How many more friends
do we have to kill?"


Kei:  .....

Zen-chan: It's okay, Kei... Maya was already dead.  [shudders]  Long dead.




Suddenly there was another figure, pressing a bundle into Bridget's arms...
Bridget looked down and saw the small figure of her daughter, wiping sleep
out of her eyes and looking up at her. Suddenly everything else seemed to

vanish. Bridget picked up her daughter and hugged her to her chest,

sobbing >uncontrollably. Seeing her mother so upset caused Rachel to start
crying as >well, which only fuelled Bridget's tears.


Kei:  [sighing in relief]  At least the kid is safe...



Jamie looked up and saw Yuri looking down at them sympathetically. It
was the first sympathetic look he'd seen from her in over a year, and
it momentarily threw him for a loop.
Yuri put her hands on his shoulder. "We don't have much time. I know you
don't trust us, but please, if you valued our friendship at all, come with
us now. We promise that no harm will come to you."


Zen-chan: Listen to her, bub... she's talkin' sense.




Yuri tried again. "Please. We have to go." Jamie put his arms around his
wife and their child, and finally made his decision. "All right." It was
a decision made more from exhaustion and fear than from trust, but they
were just too tired to fight anymore.


Zen-chan: [shaken] Talk about your nick-of-time saves...




Jamie leaned down to whisper in his wife's ear. "C'mon, B-ko. It's okay.
We're going to be safe." He then gently got her to her feet and led her
through the door, holding Rachel up as she had fallen asleep once more.
Kei and Yuri heard the sounds of feet in the distance, and sighed. "Only
three," Kei said.
"Judging from what we've seen, I think it was as much as we could have
hoped for," Yuri mused.


Yuri: It's certainly better than none...  poor Maya...



Depressed, they both went through the portal, which immediately vanished.
A moment later, three agents came round the corner, but the only sign of
a struggle was the headless corpse of Maya Ibuki in the middle of the
corridor.


Yuri: That's a chilling image... well done, Sean.




It was a subdued and pensive group that returned to Boondock. Kei and
Yuri were carrying Zen between them, giving her concerned glances. Jamie
and Bridget were walking on their own, with Rachel still in Bridget's
arms, but they both looked too numb to even respond. A meek Deirdre and
Minerva brought up the rear.


Kei:  [counting on fingers] Ara... what about Cory and Lazarus?  Weren't
they on this snatch and grab fest too?




Ishtar's first concern was for her patients. "Let's get everyone to a bed
for now. We'll worry about surgery later."
Kei looked up. "Is that wise, Ishtar? You remember what we -- " Ishtar cut
her off. "Your arrival took us completely by surprise, and we were unpre-
pared for what you might do. We've now had a chance to study the implants,
and won't get caught off guard if any sleeper programs activate." She
looked at the new arrivals. "Right now I think that any viruses in their
wetware will be the least of our problems. I want one of you with each of
them. Yuri, you go with the family. Kei, can you manage your other friend?"


Zen-chan:  Good ol' Ishtar... once a doctor, always a doctor.

Kei:  Yup.  Though things are starting to look *really* bleak now.




Kei nodded, and Yuri shifted Zen's weight onto her partner. She went over
to Jamie and Bridget, and smiled at them. Jamie merely regarded her coldly,
and Bridget flinched. The smile disappeared from Yuri's face, and with a
sad voice she said, "Let's get you settled in. I promise, it'll be alright."


Zen-chan: Ouch.  Poor Yuri.  That has to hurt.

Yuri: It would... but not, I suspect, as much as what they've been through.

Kei:  [nodding sadly] But at least they *are* safe now.




Deirdre looked nervous. "We didn't dare try to contact them...they were
right outside Jimmy's office. How much experience does Lazarus have in
these types of missions?"


Yuri: Well, that answers THAT question, Kei... at least for now...




Hilda snorted. "Oh, he has a lot of experience...but he's still not very
good at them. He has a tendency to get his butt shot off. Right now, though,
I'm more worried about Cory, who does _not_ possess Lazarus' phenomenal
luck. It was a mistake to allow Cory on this mission in the first place.


Zen-chan: Important safety tip here... 'experience' does NOT equal 'skill'

Yuri: [emphatically] Ain't THAT the truth.




I want you to get back in there and pick those two up. I don't care if
they've just found proof that Jimmy is Elvis' clone, get them back. From
what you've told me, things are getting _bad_ there."


Kei:  Bad?  'I' just had to shoot *another* one of my friends in the head,
and you're just NOW calling it 'bad'?  Yeesh.

Yuri: Calm down, Kei... it's just a story, ne?

Zen-chan: [grey] World as Myth... remember?

Yuri: [thinks] [pales] oh.




Minerva shrugged. "Lazarus viewed Cory's inclusion as the perfect chance
to ingratiate himself with her."
"Lazarus is a fool. He's trying too hard and this latest attempt probably
won't accomplish much more than annoying her all over again. I should have
said no, but unfortunately, he can still get his own way on occasion. One
thing is for sure: she will NOT be in the final operation. Now get going."
Deirdre and Minerva nodded and ran back to Gay Deceiver.


Zen-chan: Hilda-san is very wise.

Kei: You think so?  She seems kinda bossy to me.

Zen-chan: Maybe, but with THAT bunch, it's probably a good stabilising
influence.




Ishtar followed as Kei set Jamie down on a bed. The girl was still
unconscious, and Kei was beginning to get concerned. Ishtar, of course,
was all business.  "Anything special we should know about this woman?"


Yuri: [sniggering] You want a list?

Zen-chan: ....




That did manage to elicit a giggle from Kei. "Zen is a guy."


Zen-chan: THAT was bound to go over well.




Ishtar looked down at the buxom redhead lying on the bed. "Kei, what
happened to you while you were there?" she asked concernedly.


Yuri: [snickers]




Kei realised how her statement would have sounded. "Oh, she's female
right now. In fact, she spends most of her time female, as a matter of
convenience. But she was born male."


Zen-chan: Somehow, that probably won't clear things up very much either.




Ishtar raised an eyebrow, and nodded for Kei to continue. Kei sighed.
"I can give you his history later. All you need to know is that steam
turns her male, and a splash of water turns him female. I don't under-
stand it much myself."


Zen-chan: Understand it?  Maybe not.  But that one IS your fault.

Yuri: Yes, that's so - but look at it this way... At least you weren't
roasted by the Knight Sabers.

Zen-chan: True... there *is* that...




Despite severe doubts as to the truth of Kei's story, Ishtar decided to
let it go and concentrate on the patient before her. She began to study
her vital signs, and she did not find the results pleasing.
Kei did not notice Ishtar's frown. "We gave Zen-chan a little sedative,
to make it easier for us to get out without too much fuss. She should be
alright soon."
Ishtar was still frowning. "Well, she's coming round, but I sincerely
doubt she'll be alright."


Zen-chan: [twitching] That didn't sound good...




Kei wasn't really listening. Jamie's eyes slowly opened, and Kei grinned
down at her. "Hi, Zen-chan. Nice to see you again."
She began to realise things weren't quite right when Jamie looked up at
her. Kei could see the pupils in her friend's eyes dilating and contracting
as Jamie tried, unsuccessfully, to focus. After a few moments, Jamie spoke.
"It's really you, isn't it?" To Kei, the voice sounded different from what
she had heard in Jamie's quarters. It was more tentative, and there seemed
to be a touch of fear. She felt tears come to her eyes as she realised
that >Jamie must have really missed them.


Zen-chan: Well, THAT's a no brainer.  The only real friends in an entire
universe... Of course she'd miss them.




"It's really me, Zen-chan. Yuri's here too. It'll be alright now."
Jamie's response startled Kei. For a moment, she just lay there, contin-
uing to stare at Kei. Then all of a sudden she burst into tears. Great,
heaving sobs wracked her body, and she reached out to grab Kei, as if to
assure herself of the reality of her friend's presence.


Zen-chan: Gah.  Just *reading* it makes you feel like you're drowning...



Kei sat on the bed, going through the motions of comforting Jamie while
trying to figure out what was going on. "Shh..." she whispered, "it's
alright. It's over now." But nothing seemed to stop Jamie's tears. Occ-
asionally the sobs would stop, and Kei could hear a muffled "Thank God.
Oh, thank God." Then the crying would start up again, even more violently
than before.


Yuri: Oh dear... it looks like Zen's gone bai bai too...

Kei:  [eyes wide] [nods] Hai...




Jamie spasmed as her sobs dissolved into a ragged cough and Ishtar
instinctively reached for a hypo. The coughing fit became choking, and
Jamie was unable to draw air into her lungs. Alarmed, Kei pounded her
friend's back, trying to clear the blockage. She watched helplessly as
Jamie went into convulsions, spitting up bile, stained red with blood.
Ishtar intervened at that point, swiftly injecting the heaving girl with
a sedative. Jamie shuddered, and after retching a few more times,
collapsed on the floor in a heap.


Zen-chan: [wincing] Itte....

Kei:  And this Sean charcter is your friend?  Geez, I'd hate to see how
someone that *didn't* like you wrote your character...

Zen-chan: [softly] Sean... understands.  That's part of what makes him a
friend.

Yuri: Understands?  Understands what?

Zen-chan: Pain.




Kei stared at the body in horror. She had expected her friend to be upset,
but this was far more than she had been prepared for. Ishtar did not seem
nearly as surprised, though, as she put Jamie back on her bed.
After ensuring that if Jamie woke again she would not do herself an injury,
Ishtar turned back to Kei.
"Jamie shows all of the signs of a complete nervous breakdown. She is
malnourished, shows signs of a bleeding stomach ulcer, and has hypertension
so bad that she's a walking time bomb. For God's sake, Kei, look at her!"


Zen-chan: [shuddering] Thank the goddess for the nanites that 3WA uses in
*this* reality...

Kei & Yuri: [nod]




Kei forced herself to look back to the bed. Jamie was twitching in her
sleep, her cheek muscles and hands refusing to stay still. The sight made
her ill, and she turned away quickly.
"Now you see why we're fighting Jimmy, Kei. Because under his rule - and
I can't think of a better way to describe how he runs the 3WA - the agents
with conscience have nowhere to turn. She was close to you, right?" Hilda
stood in the doorway.
Kei marvelled at her ability to seemingly be everywhere. She nodded. "We
were best friends."
"I'm gathering that the clones built in your image were ordered to avoid
her as best they could. Think, Kei. Her two best friends are suddenly
walking killing machines, and when she tries to confront them, they run
away. She didn't know about the clones. I suspect she blamed herself,
tried to convince herself that she could have done more."
Kei shuddered. "I have to tell Yuri."


Kei:  Being a TC means you almost *never* get *good* news...

Yuri: ..... [shudders]




Ishtar frowned. "I still want you to be here when she wakes up again.
Hopefully, the initial shock will have worn off, and we can avoid a
second fit. It will be hard, though. I can't offer any miracle cures or
trips to magical fairylands here. Jamie needs rest and care. She may
recover in a few days, or it could take months."


Zen-chan: [nodding]  At this stage, a trip to Oz, and Zen'd shatter
completely...




Kei's eyes widened. "But...we brought them here to help us in combat..."
Hilda shook her head. "She is not even remotely ready to go into a combat
situation. I'm sorry, Kei. We didn't know things had gotten this bad.
Right now, she's no use to anyone."
Kei got ready to argue again, then looked back at Jamie. She lay on the
bed, a twitch running across her features every few seconds. A sheen of
sweat glistened on her brow.
Kei heard someone sobbing, and thought for a moment that Jamie had woken
again. Then she realised that the voice was her own. She collapsed on the
bed, holding her friend tightly and weeping bitterly.


Zen-chan: Very well written, Sean.  Very...

Kei:  Intense?

Zen-chan: [nods mutely]

Yuri: Hai...


***


Asuka almost ripped out the cyberjack and threw it across the room. She
could not believe what she'd just found. Almost everything Jimmy had told
them had been a lie. He'd just been using them to cover up the mess he'd
made.


Yuri: [grimacing] That would be a nasty shock.

Kei:  You know it.  If it were me, I'd be blowing a seal or three myself.




Asuka had always been brought up to respect authority. It was the one
thing that her mother had drilled into her almost from birth. And now
to find that the man running 3WA, the organisation she had devoted her
life to, was in all respects a psychotic murderer...


Zen-chan: This pretty well defines the term, 'disillusionment'...




Rei interrupted her. "Ritsuko is dead."


Kei:  Rude shock number TWO for this scene.




"WHAT?!" Asuka's head snapped around. "Dammit...how?"
"I don't know." Rei looked as if she _did_ know, but wasn't going to say.
Asuka sighed. She was trying to like this girl, but there were still too
many secrets between them. *Like you've opened up about your own past*, a
small part of her said. She ignored it and went on.


Zen-chan: [nodding] Setec Astronomy

Kei:  Well *that* is an obscure reference.

Zen-chan: Sean'll get it.




"I was really hoping to avoid this...but just like he said, there's no
other choice. Rei, open up the envelope with Jimmy's name on it."


Yuri: And the winner is...




Rei swiftly removed one of the envelopes from wherever she had been
keeping it (there was a third-year course in 3WA about nineteen ways
to conceal objects on your person when you're only wearing a bikini),
and slit it open.


Zen-chan: Oh, yes... Zen remembers that course...

Kei:  [grinning] it *is* a usefuls skill.

Zen-chan: It was *also* a good thing that none of Zen's classmates knew
that Zen was a guy...  It would have been difficult to find a study partner.

Yuri: [smirking] Sukebe!

Zen-chan: [raising eyebrow] Like either of you can talk...




She read the contents quickly. "It's a location, about 30 levels down from
here. I don't think there's a passable route; it's an abandoned section."

Asuka snorted, and stomped out of the room. "Then we'll _make_ it access-
ible."


Zen-chan: Abandoned section?  Pacifica is starting to sound like Trantor...
all the new buildings assembled directly atop the remains of the old...




Asuka was beginning to feel very tired when they finally arrived. "This
room had better be important, or I'm going to pound him."


Zen-chan: What do the words 'Central Dogma' mean to you?




"This is getting to be more and more like a horror movie. We'll get in
there and find monsters that will accidentally awaken and eat our brains,"
Asuka remarked.
She heard a giggle from behind her. Stunned, she turned around. "Rei, was
that _you_ I heard laughing?"


Zen-chan: It *better* have been... [shudders]

Yuri: Agreed.  If it wasn't, then you're in deep cabbage.




Rei was standing very still, her eyes a little wider than usual. "I
laughed..." she said quietly. Turning to Asuka, she said "Was what you
said funny?"
Asuka found herself grinning. "Yeah, I guess it was."
Rei's expression got very distant. "It's working," she said. Suddenly
her face shut down again, and she stoically turned back towards Asuka.
"Let's see if we can get the lights on."


Zen-chan: It's working?  WHAT's working?  This just gets odder and odder...

Kei:  [snaps fingers] Got it!  Rei is really a bioroid too!  She's the
daughter of the Central Computer!  The CC wants to become human!

Yuri: Kei, that's the silliest thing that I've ever heard.

Zen-chan: No... no... it fits, in a twisted sort of way...  Shades of the
Demon Seed...

Yuri: The what seed?

Kei:  Yuri, you *really* don't read enough of the right sorts of books.




Then Rei turned on the lights. Asuka gasped as she saw Jimmy Daltrey in
front of her.  She then dropped her weapon and gaped as the next thirty
people she saw were also Jimmy Daltrey.


Zen-chan:  Well THAT's enough to make you toss your cookies.

Kei:  [voice tight] Asuka... Rei-chan... BURN that room.




"BAST!"
Bast jumped in his seat. His recent activity had made him even more
nervous than he usually was, and Jimmy shouting at him convinced him
that this was the end. Paranoia came easily to someone who worked with
Jimmy Daltrey.


Zen-chan: [nodding] Another client for ulcer central...




Jimmy was by the bar, fixing drinks. Bast flinched inwardly. This was not
good.
"Bast, I'm sure you've been keeping yourself up to date with our various
crises. You know that I sent those two agents off to work on the Shasti
problem."


Yuri: Come into my parlour, said the spider to the fly...




Bast decided to play along. Maybe he could earn a few more minutes of
life. "Yes, I do remember. They've been talking to the Lovely Angels,
last I heard."


Kei:  Poor Bast...  His heartrate must be double normal right now...




Jimmy called up a vid screen, and the faces of Kei and Yuri came up.
"About a year and a half ago, the lovely Angels had a rather unusual
mission. It was assigned to them by the Central Computer, for reasons
we were never able to figure out. They gave rather sketchy details in
their report, but what happened is that they met people from an advanced
civilisation that assisted them."
Bast couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. This was completely new to him.
"An advanced civilisation, Jimmy?"


Zen-chan: Well, a *different* civilisation, anyway.




"Don't act so surprised, Bast. We've seen far stranger things at the 3WA.
Now I've had some people doing some snooping, and I think that Shasti and
her accomplices have sought sanctuary there. I've tried to get someone in,
but it's difficult." Jimmy smiled again, and turned back towards Bast.
"That's where you come in."


Zen-chan: Wonder who he tried to get in?  Or if Sean will even tell?

Yuri: Now I gotta wonder... does Jimmy know what Bast has been up to, or is
he sincere here?

Kei:  It must be driving poor Bast nuts.




Bast began to feel nervous again. "Me?"
"Things have been quiet in my office lately. There really isn't that much
for you to do. Besides, you are the _least_ likely person to be a double
agent."
Bast started at Jimmy's words. "Um...Jimmy, I haven't done field work in
years!"
"I know, and this is a gamble. But I need people I can trust, Bast. So
many people in this organisation are turning against me. It's disturbing.


Zen-chan: Is it really.  Gee, that's too bad.

Kei:  [darkly] Shoulda thought of THAT before you started betraying THEM.




I need someone who I have complete faith in. I can trust you, Bast, and
that's more important than any field experience."
Bast tried his best not to laugh. He didn't know whether Jimmy was setting
him up or not. It seemed likely. Still, even if he was serious, there
wasn't much Bast could do about it. "What do you want me to do, Jimmy?"


Kei:  So IS he just setting Bast up?  It'd be a heck of a way to do it.

Yuri: I dunno... Lady or the Tiger?

Zen-chan: [cryptic] Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.




"I want you to keep your eyes peeled. Go down to the control room for the
central computer, and watch the monitors. If this group has Shasti, they
may try to attack us, or at least investigate. I want you to be ready.
When you see them, make contact and try to infiltrate their organisation."
The congruity of Jimmy's orders amazed Bast. "How should I try to ingra-
tiate myself?"
Jimmy laughed. "I don't care, make something up. Tell them that you think
that I've gone insane and can't be trusted. Anything. Just get inside their
base, and find out what you can."


Zen-chan:  Well.  That's convenient.

Yuri: How so?

Zen-chan: Well, Bast has just been given his escape opportunity on a silver
platter.

Kei:  [nodding] So.  And the excuse he's to give is no more than the truth.

Yuri: Ahh.  I see.  If this IS a setup, it's a damned insidious one.




"Just that?"
"Just that," Jimmy replied. "I don't want you trying to kill Shasti or
anything like that. You aren't an assassin, you're reconnaissance. Get
in, find what you know, report back. I'll give you the contact point;
we're moving out soon." Jimmy rose and waved Bast towards the door.


Yuri: Well, that's a relief.  Shasti would have made Dog Food outta Bast...

Kei:  'find what you know'?  Maybe that ought to be 'find out what you can'?

Zen-chan: Nit-picker.

Kei:  [grinning] You've never complained about that before, Zen-chan...

Zen-chan: ....




Bast's mind was still reeling. Now his paranoia was working against him.
Had Jimmy been watching his every move? Was this all some elaborate trap?
It didn't seem possible, the rational part of him thought. He had to trust
his knowledge of Jimmy. While Jimmy was insane, this would be too compli-
cated for him. Jimmy wouldn't have arranged all this just to kill Bast, he
would simply have shot him. Actually, the plan seemed more like one of
Jimmy's lover and confidante, Cory Emerson. She was the one who liked to
be complex and cryptic.


Kei:  His lover?  Ugh.  When Cory finds out about THAT, there WILL be hell
to pay.




In the end, he decided to take the chance. If he managed to find this
'advanced civilisation' that Jimmy was talking about, maybe he could do
what Shasti and the others had apparently done, and seek sanctuary. Who-
ever they might be, they had to be better than Jimmy.


Zen-chan: True... but that's about like saying 'better than death by
immersion in acid'... it covers a LOT of territory.




This all flashed through his mind in a second. He then got up and walked
over to the door where Jimmy had gone. "Alright, Jimmy. You can count on
me." It was the first time he'd ever told Jimmy an outright lie.
Jimmy smiled. "Good," he said. "I don't mean to disturb you, Bast, but I
think this is going to get bloody. There's going to be a war. It hasn't
started yet, we haven't even had any skirmishes. But both armies are
building up. I want to get you in there before it's too late."


Yuri: [shuddering] This Jimmy character is REALLY starting to creep me out.

Kei:  Only starting?

Zen-chan: <bleah>




He opened the door to show Bast out. Bast got to the entrance, and then
stopped.
The Lovely Angels were lying on the floor just outside Jimmy's office.
Their throats had been slit almost through, and their heads lolled at
awkward angles. On each of their foreheads was carved the word 'fake'.
Jimmy and Bast said nothing, just staring at the bodies. Finally, Jimmy
spoke.  "I take that back, Bast. The war has just begun."


Yuri: Y'know... Clone or no, a girl gets tired of being killed so many times...

Kei:  Yah, just ask Deirdre.




End of Part 2

Part 3, Who Are You, will appear soon. Honest. It's the final part.

--Sean Gaffney


Yuri: [dazed]  Well, it'd better come out soon.  After a cliff hangar like
that, there will be those who REALLY want to see what happens next.

Zen-chan: No kidding.  Zen particularly wants to see how you're going to
save Yuri and Kei... AND Mughi...

Kei:  Too right.

[Kei, Yuri and Zen-chan stand and stretch.  Zen-chan reaches over and
toggles off the entertainment centre, while Yuri cleans up the remains of
the munchies.]

Yuri: Hey.  Whatsay we go down to the Draco for a nice dinner or something...

Kei:  Good idea, Yuri.  After THAT trip through the wringer, I could USE a
drink or six.

Zen-chan: [nodding] A steak sounds really good right now...

Yuri: Be sure to save room for dessert!

Kei:  Damned straight!  C'mon!  Let's go!

[Three TC's leave the room, headed for the Draco Tavern.  As the door
closes behind them, the lights fade to black.]

Owari

Zen no Itan-sha
Apprentice to the Angels of the Apocalypse

Zen no Itan-sha
Apprentice to the Angels of the Apocalypse