Really interesting.  This fic has a LOT of potential.
A couple spelling/grammar errors that don't really detract from the fic...

Now, time for my BIG complaint:

NOIMYDNE???????????????

Seriously, this was the only thing that bugged me.  It doesn't even roll of
the tongue...Noi-mid-nae is how I'd guess it's pronounced, but it really
doesn't work.  Change the name.

How about...hmmm...Terradyne?  Hmm..maybe not.

All in all, a good effort.  I really liked the Jupiter/Nephrite/Noimydne
(Sheesh, that's an awful name) angle, and the idea that there was someone
who rejected Metallia is very interesting...also the idea that the
"Generals" willingly turned evil is another nice touch.

--
Christopher "God-boy" Angel
cja124@mail.usask.ca
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Pagoda/7040/

"I'm 16. Linoleum turns me on."
"Thank goodness men grow out of that."
"We do?"