Moeru: Where can she be? I've told her a million times this was our first day
and she's late.
Ritsuko: Nothing new there. Sae's always a bit slow when it comes to new things.

<A short redhead runs in carrying a broom,with a tiny stuffed bear hanging on
it, and some clothing>
Sae: Sumimasen! Sumimasen!
<Sae sits down and tries to catch her breath>
Ritsuko: Where the hell have you been girl? We've been waiting all afternoon!
Sae: You didn't remember my date? Oh..wait...today's the debut isn't it?
Moeru: Well, yeah. You could put it that way. Let's just get on with it. Today
we're reviewing God's toy cycle 1 part 1 by Chris Angel.

***************************

God was bored.

God spent a lot of time bored

He wasn't bored at the beginning, oh no, He had lots to do then.  Too much
to do.

That's why He created Ygddrasil and the other gods - it gave Him some free
time.

Moeru: Slacker

Too much free time.

First He thought one of His daughters might provide entertainment.  Nope,
not much there.  So He decided to toss in her sisters.  A few laughs, but
they got boring quick.

Ritsuko: Well no wonder. She's such a goody goody. Who wouldn't get bored?

So He decided to make a mortal into a god, toss him in with his daughters,
and see what happened.  Some judicious meddling, a few strings pulled, a
wish or two arranged...

Now THAT's entertainment.

Ritsuko: See? God may be a slacker, but he knows what good entertainment is.Sae:
The real world?

There was something missing though...something he couldn't place.  He liked
His little pawn, the guy was always good for a fun time, but He was getting
bored again.

Time to see what the mortals do for fun.  Hmm...fiction...not a bad idea.
Multiple universes?  Hey...this has potential...infinite universes?

This could be fun.

Moeru: Yeah, it'll be real fun when they converge or something messy like that.

Some creations, a change here and there...not bad...not bad at all.  What
else do they do...fanfiction?  Self-insertion?  Been there, done that, got
Me crucified.  Hey...now what if I toss in My little pal?

This WOULD be fun.

***

Christopher Angel Presents:

GOD'S TOY
Cycle 1.1 - Bubblegum...CHRIS?

A Ygddrasil Production
inspired by:

BUBBLEGUM CRISIS
Japanese Copyright Artmic, Inc. and Youmex, Inc.
North American Copyright AnimEigo, Inc.

***

Sylia looked down to the floor of her lab in disbelief.  An unconscious man
had just...appeared there.  She didn't even move as Priss and the others
walked in.

"What the hell is this?" Priss demanded.  "Someone break in?"  She cracked
her knuckles.  "He's gonna regret it..."

Moeru: Damaramu broke in! I knew eventually he'd be somewhere!

The man was of European descent, probably with some Middle-Eastern thrown in
from his facial features - thick black hair, a nose like an eagle's beak, a
strong chin, and a light tan with extensive freckle.  Somewhat handsome,
Sylia noted absently.  He was huge, probably just under two meters, and
built like a linebacker.  He wore black pants and a light green shirt, over
which he had a dark green trenchcoat.

Sae: Ooooh..He's cute! Can I have him?Ritsuko: No, you're too young. He's gotta
be at least..uhm..uh..I have no idea how old he is..

"He's cute," Nene exclaimed.  The other three women looked at her and she
wilted.  "Whaaat?"

Sae: See? Even Nene-sama thinks he's cute<Moeru hands a life-sized teddy bear to
Sae>
Sae: Jeff-kun!
<Sae cuddles it, becoming oblivious to everything around her>

Suddenly, the man groaned and opened his eyes, looking up at the four women
gathered around them.  His eyes locked on Sylia.  "Hot brunette." They
flicked to Priss.  "Hot...brown haired woman.  Red eyes."  To Nene.  "Very
hot redhead." To Linna.  "Extremely hot brunette."  His eyes closed again.

Moeru: Nice taste there. Now..correct me if I'm wrong here..Ritsuko: You're
wrong.
Moeru: Ahem..Aren't brunette and brown haired the same thing?

"Excuse me?" Sylia said.  Suddenly the man's eyes hot open, and he shot up
to a sitting position.  He turned his head slowly and stared at Sylia.

"Sylia Stingray.  Priss Asagiri.  Nene Romanova.  Linna Yamazaki."  He fell
back to a prone position, and covered his face with his hands.  "The Knight
Sabers."  A gasp escaped from the women, and he slowly dragged his hands
down from his face to glare at the ceiling.  "KAMI-SAMA...YOU JERK!"

Ritsuko: Well there's something you don't see every day.

There was a roll of thunder.  Sylia started in surprise.  In order of a
thunderclap to be heard in her labs, it would have to be almost
destructively loud on the surface.

Moeru: Or her soundproofing isn't nearly as powerful as she thought it was

"What the hell is this?" Priss demanded.  She reached into her jacket and
pulled out her firearm, and released the safety, she pointed it at the man
who was still lying on the floor, cursing up a rather impressive storm.
"You better start talking, buddy..."

The man looked at the gun and scowled at her.  "Typical Priss reaction," he
growled, and...blurred.  In the blink of an eye Priss felt her gun wrenched
out of her hands and found herself looking into the barrel.  "Never point a
gun at someone who can't take it away from you."  He stood, and the women
backed up from his large frame, Linna and Sylia falling into combat stances.
The man ignored them and snarled up at the ceiling, pointing a finger at it
like he was lecturing someone.

Ritsuko: That should be "Someone who CAN take it away"

"I didn't mind when you messed up my life.  I didn't really mind when you
made me a plaything for a couple girls.  I was pissed when you meddled with
my friends, but saw it was for the best.  But if you think I'm going to sit
here and play along like some damn toy for your personal amusement, you've
got another thing coming, you jackass!"

Moeru: He's calling God a jackass? Isn't that breaking one of the
commandments?<Ritsuko shrugs>

Thunder rolled again, louder this time.  The man recoiled for a moment, then
laughed bitterly.

"What are you going to do?  Lightning bolt me and reveal to all of Megatokyo
where the Knight Sabers operate from?  HA!  You wouldn't dare you meddling,
stuck-up, amoral, high-handed..." he continued to rant while the Knight
Sabers watched, dumbstruck.

Moeru: Now that's putting God in his place. Just remind him that even now, he's
screwing up an entire timeline.

"Who the hell is he yelling at?" Priss demanded.

Ritsuko: Someone you probably don't believe in. Don't worry about it.

Nene was searching through her handbag for her firearm.  "He's a nutcase,
and he has Priss's gun!  We've got to do something!"

Moeru(imitating Nene): I'll shoot! I've only shot a gun once in my life but I'll
shoot!

Sylia turned to hit the alarm button to signal Mackie, when she noticed the
control panels on the wall sparking.  "What the..?"  she stared at the walls
around her and noticed the blue energy dancing across the controls like a
living being.

Moeru: Look, its one of those Highlander immortal people.

Every so often, a tendril of energy would reach out towards
the giant man, but so far, none had made it.  Sylia made the mental
calculation of the power level required to do that, and came to the
conclusion it would be fatal to anyone.  She grabbed Nene, who had just
found her AD police issue handgun, and threw her to the floor.  "Get down!"
She yelled to Priss and Linna, and dove to the ground.  Priss and Linna,
their reflexes tuned by long combat training, followed her.

Moeru\Ritsuko: FIRE IN THE HOLE!

"...and another thing," the man continued, not having stopped his tirade,
"you good-for-nothing holier-than-thou jerk, what the hell makes you think I
even want to play around in this world, anyway?  I mean, for Tyr's sake,
this place is a bloodbath!  How on earth could you be so STUPID as to put me
here, you egotistical, IDIOTIC..."

Any further speech was interrupted as a gigantic arc of power exploded from
the walls, striking the man with a thunderous crash.  For a handful of very
long seconds, the man yelled in surprise and pain as the power coursed
through his body, and then the electrical discharge ceased.  A moment later,
the man slumped to the ground, the clothing on his upper body charred into
ash by the immense energy that flowed through it.  His body smoked as he lay
groaning on the ground.

<Sae looks up from her teddy bear>Sae: I bet that hurt.

Linna looked up from where she was and stared at the man, then turned her
gaze onto her friends.  Her face was pale, and she felt cold.  She absently
noted she was probably in a bit of shock.  "Does anyone know what just
happened here?" she asked in a quavering voice.

***

Chris's first sensation upon waking up was the feel of metal.

Ritsuko: <snicker>

Not cold metal, but the unmistakable sweaty feeling skin got when it was
forced to be
in contact with naked metal for an extended period.  He shifted
uncomfortably, and felt panic begin to set in as he noticed he was
restrained.

Moeru: How can metal be naked?

"So, he's awake," a voice droned.  Chris's eyes flew open, and he found
himself looking into a pair of red eyes.  He blinked, and the view expanded
to reveal a rather pretty face that was currently sneering at him.  Chris's
eyes flicked around, and he saw the other members of the Knight Sabers
around the room, their attention focussed on him.

"Oh, YOU people," he muttered, a tone of infinite disgust in his voice.  "I
suppose it was to much to ask for it to be a dream, I suppose," he sighed
and then scowled at Priss as he noticed her playing with her gun.  "Ms.
Asagiri, I'm quite well restrained, and it's obvious you won't kill me until
your illustrious leader's curiosity is satisfied.  Could you PLEASE put the
gun away?  It makes me nervous."

Ritsuko: This from someone who just took her gun away? Yeah, ok.

Priss snorted and turned away as Sylia came to stand by Chris's side.  He
looked up into her emotionless face and felt a small bit of fear.  This
woman could decide to kill him outright if he made the wrong move.  "Well,
young man," she began, "would you like to tell us who you are," she paused,
and her eyes hardened.  "And how you know who we are?"

Moeru: Easy. I'm a god and I know everything.

Chris snickered.  "Young man...oh Tyr, that's funny," he chortled.  "For
your information, young lady," he drawled, "my name is Christopher Angel,
age 22, electrical engineer."  He grinned.  "Call me Chris."  He frowned up
at the ceiling and sighed.  "Highly knowledgeable on the theory and
mechanics of technology thirty-five years out of date, oh fun and joy," he
complained.  "As for how I know who you are...um...well, it's kind of
silly."

"Pray tell," Sylia said with an arched eyebrow.

"Um...where I come from," he paused and grimaced.  Chris just knew this was
going to suck.  "You're an anime.  Bubblegum Crisis from Artmic.  Sylia
Stingray and her band of mercenaries, the most attractive fighters ever to
hit the screen.  Blood, guts, mecha, violence, and fan service, oh my.  Hey,
I do believe I'm babbling."

Ritsuko: Now, maybe its just me but telling someone they're fictional isn't
reassuring..

Sylia and the others gaped at him.  "You can't honestly expect us to believe
that?" Linna demanded.

Chris shrugged as best he could with his arms in restraints.  "It's the
truth."  He winced as a screen in the wall opposite him sprang to life with
a burst of light.  "And here's the Boss..." he sang, and scowled at the
screen.  "So, what's the big idea, you nutbar?"

Moeru: He's calling God a nutbar now? Geez, God takes a lot of crap from this
guy,doesn't he?Ritsuko: Entertainment factor.

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GET ZAPPED AGAIN, MY SON?

"No particularly," Chris replied.  He smirked over at Nene who was playing
with the computer under the screen, trying to trace the connection to it's
source.  "Good luck, Ms. Romanova, you'll need it."  He looked back up at
the screen.  "So what's the story?"

EVER HEAR OF FAN-FICTION?  NICE IDEA YOUR PEOPLE HAVE.  I DECIDED TO TAKE

IT TO THE LOGICAL CONCLUSION, AND MADE A MULTIVERSE.

"You have GOT to be kidding me," Chris exclaimed.  "Wait, no, you don't
lie," he sighed.  "So why am I pulling a Becket?"

"Nene," hissed Linna, "where the hell is this coming from?"

"I don't know!" the hacker almost sobbed back.  "It's like it's coming from
nowhere!"

WELL, I LIKED THE SELF-INSERTION IDEA, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST

TIME I DID THAT...

"Got you crucified," Chris said in a bored tone of voice.  "So you decided
to do Chris-insertion.  Yaaaaaaaaaaay.  I'm going to die."

Moeru: Don't let God's track record scare you. It may be bad but there's always
room for improvement.

"Got him crucified?" Priss repeated in a scandalized voice.  "Who does this
guy think he is?"

"God," Nene replied absently as she tried another tracker program.  "Do you
know of any other beings who can create universes and died by crucifixion?"

"That's insane!" Linna protested.

Nene shrugged.  "That's what they're referring to.  Trust me, I'm Catholic."

Moeru:<blinks> I had no idea Nene was catholic.

"You're taking this well," Linna said with a bit of surprise.

"I'm Catholic," Nene repeated, as if that explained everything.

WHY DO YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE DOOMED, MY SON??

Ritsuko: Because you're screwing with my life and something bad always happens?

Chris glanced at the rest of the Knight Sabers, who were watching the
proceedings with a mixture of confusion, shock, anger, and in one case,
indifference.  "First of all, the death toll due to boomer rampages and
other...incidents is enormous.  Second, even if my hosts were willing to put
up with me, which I DOUBT, I'd have to freeload, since all my learning is
based on WAY out of date material.  Third, I can't feel Ygddrasil.  That
means I'm essentially a normal human being unless I practically overdose on
aspartame, and even then I'm not very useful.  Finally, I know what's going
to happen!  I'm going to try to interfere and I'm going to get killed,
Boss!"

All three: Aspartawhat?Moeru: Uhm..Maybe some liner notes time to time would
here there. I figure its been explained once before but not in this fic.

Sylia frowned.  *'Essentially a normal human?'* she wondered.  *What does
that mean?*

Ritsuko: That means he can die Sylia. He's a hu-man. Very simple concept

ONE, *SIGH* THERE IS NOT MUCH I CAN DO ABOUT THAT.  I MERELY CREATED THE

INFINITE MULTIVERSE, THE PEOPLE IN THIS DIMENSION MADE THE CHOICES TO CREATE
THE WORLD THIS WAY.  TWO, DO NOT SELL YOURSELF SHORT.  SO YOU ARE NOT A
TECHNOLOGICAL WIZARD, THEY DON NOT NEED ONE.  THREE, YOU WILL HAVE ACCESS TO
YOUR POWERS, BUT IN A MODIFIED FORM.  FOUR, I WIPED MOST OF YOUR MEMORIES OF
THIS WORLD.

"You WHAT?" Chris screamed, and did a sort of mental diagnostic.  "I'll be
damned.  You did."  He frowned slightly.  "I suppose that's fair."

YES.  AS FOR YOUR POWERS, THEY WILL ACTIVATE NOW.

An odd tingling sensation came over Chris, and he felt the table beneath
himself begin to mold to his body.  A sudden rush of energy flowed through
him, and he noticed that he was sinking - through the table.  A moment
later, he hit the floor of the lab, and looked up through  the person-shaped
hole in the table.  He touched the side of the hole, and the table seemed to
melt where he touched it, and a dark substance flowed under his skin up into
his body.

"Nanites," he murmured, and laid his hand down on the metal, watching the
material flow up into his body.  "Fucking NANITES." Chris shook his head
violently.  "I'm a boomeroid?" he whispered, and tears began to fall down
his face.  "You BASTARD, you stole my FUCKING HUMANITY?!"  An arc of
electricity danced over him, and he fell unconscious.

<Sae covers her eyes>Ritsuko: Yup, this just went up a rating or 2.

SYLIA, MY CHILD, I HAVE A FAVOR TO ASK OF YOU.  OF ALL OF YOU.

Sylia blinked and stared at the computer screen.  "M-me?" she stammered, as
even the most stoic of facades failed.

MY SON WILL NEED TIME TO ADJUST.  HE IS ALONE, IN A WORLD AND A TIME HE IS

NOT WELL PREPARED FOR.  DO NOT REJECT HIM, OTHER DAUGHTERS OF MINE DID NOT,
AND NEVER REGRETTED IT.  YOU WILL NOT EITHER.  PLEASE, HELP HIM.

Sylia said nothing for a moment.  What do you say when in a four hour
period, a man has appeared in your lab, been shocked into unconsciousness
TWICE, has shown evidence of nanomachines in his body decades ahead of the
time, and some completely untraceable person has just asked you to take care
of the guy?

"I will," promised Sylia.  Somehow, she knew things were just beginning.

THANK YOU.

Moeru: For using AT&T

With that, the screen blanked out.

"Damn it!" Nene cursed and threw her hands up in frustration. "He's gone!"

Ritsuko: No, he's not. He's everywhere. Aren't you supposed to be catholic?

"I'd like to go down in the record now for saying I really hate this," Priss
noted, and scowled down at the comatose man.  She suddenly got a puzzled
look on her face.  "Hey, is it just me or is he bigger?"

"PRISS!" Linna gasped, scandalized.

Priss gave her a peeved look.  "I meant TALLER," she said defensively.

Ritsuko: Uh huh. Yeah sure, Priss. We all know you lookedMoeru: Just like you.
<Ritsuko blushes>
Ritsuko: Well..Uhm...

***

For the second time in a day, Chris woke up to stare at a metal ceiling.  Th
is time, though, he didn't feel metal at his back, he felt...plastic?

Moeru: He's a walking condom.

Chris blinked and tried to sit up, and noted with exasperation that he was
still restrained.  "Excuse me?" he tried, and another pretty face looked
over at him.  This one was framed with red hair. "I could get used to the
wake up service around here," he muttered under his breath.
"Good...morning?...Ms. Romanova."

Moeru: Know where I could find wake up service like that?<Ritsuko fwaps Moeru>
Ritsuko: I wake you up every morning aft..
<Ritsuko glances at the camera and looks around nervously>

"Rise and shine," she said cheerily, and then looked over her shoulder.
"Sleeping beauty's awake again!"

Moeru: Who was his Prince? Mackie?

A few steps echoed through the room, and Chris found yet another attractive
face looking down at him, this one belonging to the leader of the Knight
Sabers.  "Hello again, Ms. Stingray.  I don't suppose I can get up now?"

Sylia looked over at Nene.  "Has it stopped?"

"Yep!" the hacker nodded.  "He stopped absorbing stuff almost fifteen
minutes ago."

"Absorbing stuff?" Chris wondered out loud, and then is face twisted into a
horrified but resigned grimace.  "Oh, yeah, the nanites.  Oh joyful joyful,
I'm a boomeroid.  So what's the verdict?  Am I still mostly meat?"

<Ritsuko blushes again>Ritsuko:Yeah..I'd hope so

"Legally, you're not a boomeroid," Sylia told him.  "You've only gained
about thirty kilos of body mass, making you about twenty percent artificial,
still well under the seventy percent limit."  She smiled condescendingly.
"Although you now top 2.1 meters, so you'll really stick out in a crowd."

Sae: 2.1 meters?Ritsuko: I suck at math, don't ask me
Moeru: Me either

"Yay, maybe I can try out for the NBA.  Wait I don't play basketball.  Is
there even an NBA?  Of course there's an NBA, what would MJ do?  Baseball?
You've got to be kidding me." he noted the surprised expressions on the two
women's faces and chuckled.  "Babbling again?   Welcome to Chris' Lateral
Thinking Theatre, leave your sanity at the door."

"Do you do that a lot?" Nene asked as she tried to suppress giggles.

"Not usually," Chris admitted, "but I've been having a bad day, you know?"
He tried to shrug, and made a noise of irritation.  "Can you let me OUT of
this thing?  PLEASE?  I promise to be good!"

Sylia made a sort of guilty start and pressed a control.  The restraints
immediately loosened, and Chris sat up on the bed, and looked curiously at
the silvery dust that spilled off his body.  "Aluminum," Sylia supplied.
"It was what the first table was made of, your body took it in until it
could replace it with something better, which appears now to be a
titanium-tungsten-steel-technetium alloy."

"So in other words, while I was out, you sat there and played with the
nanomachines," Chris muttered.  "Did you have fun?"

Nene smiled.  "It looked really wild when that block of tungsten just kind
of melted into your chest," she told him.  "We got it recorded if you want
to see it."

Ritsuko: Awww...They recorded him absorbing metals, isn't that just cute?

"Shades of T-1000," Chris muttered.  "Thanks but no thanks.  So now what?"

"Well," Sylia began.  "We do need to talk, Mr. Angel.  I'd like an
explanation of what went on earlier."  She and Nene began to walk towards
the door to the lab.

Chris sighed.  "Sure, but prepared to hear some really weird shit," he
warned, and swung his legs over the side of the table.  "Excuse me?" he
called, and the pair of women turned.  "Where are my pants?"  Nene
wordlessly indicated a pile of carbonized fabric in the corner of the room.
"Oh.  Man, that was my favorite shirt!" he complained.

<Ritsuko stares, her mouth hanging open>Ritsuko: What a man!
Sae: Uhm..Ritsuko-sama...what's that?
<Ritsuko doesn't take her eyes off the screen>
Ritsuko:We'll explain later Sae-chan.....after the fanfic...

***

A shiver washed over Chris and he straightened his back to dispel the
residual discomfort from it.  He wasn't really used to being in the same
room as four exceedingly attractive women when he was fully dressed.  In his
current state of undress it was something akin to torture, and the
incredibly...high class nature of Sylia's living room wasn't helping,
neither was the suspicious looks Mackie was giving him.

He looked morosely at what was left of his attire.  His shirt and jacket had
been burned to a crisp, and his shades had been turned into a melted,
mangled mess.  Only the shoes and pants had actually been salvageable, and
thankfully fit, even though the pants were a few inches too short.  "Shades
of puberty," he muttered.

Moeru: Not 1 word Rit-chan. Not 1 word.

"It sounds like something out of an anime," Nene said, and then looked
insulted as Chris burst out into laughter.

"Ms. Romanova, remember to me, this entire world WAS an anime."

"I've got a question for you about that," Sylia said.  Chris arched an
eyebrow at her.  "Why 'Bubblegum Crisis'?"

Chris shrugged.  "The common belief is that is has something to do with a
bubblegum bubble just about to pop, and the awful mess it leaves over your
face once it does," he explained, then chuckled slightly.  "But I just think
they chose it because it sounded cool."

"It sounds ridiculous!" Priss declared.

"So does Neon Genesis Evangelion, Magical Knights Rayearth, Martian
Successor Nadesico, and Kigamure Orange Road, but those are real anime
names."  He paused, and shook his head.  "Too bad He didn't send me into
Magical Twilight or F^3."  Chris ran his hand through his hair, and winced
as metal dust fell from his hair.  "Anything else?  If not, I'd like to
borrow your shower, Ms. Stingray, this Tinkerbell impression I'm doing is
downright irritating."

Moeru: Kimagure Orange Road

Sylia nodded and rose, leading Chris down into her labs where there was a
shower he could use.  As she handed him a towel and soap, she looked him up
and down.  "So you were a fighter where you came from?"

A low chuckle rose from Chris.  "I'm not the best, in fact, I'm probably
bottom of the list among the Aesir - those were the War deities of the Norse
Pantheon.  But you tend to pick up a few things after a year in the Combat
School of Head Knocks."

"Don't you mean 'Hard Knocks'?"

"Nope," Chris said as he shut the door on her.  "If I messed up I got
knocked around the head, get it?"  He grinned at her pained expression, and
locked the door.  He leaned against the cold metal for a few minutes,
reviewing the events of the past few hours in his head.  He began to
rhythmically pound his head against the metal.  "Great, smartass, what are
you, stupid?  Let's just mouth off to ALL of them, why don't we?"  He put
his face in his hands.  "Where did I pick up this talent for making an ass
of myself, anyway?"

As he stripped, Chris shook his head ruefully.  "Nice bunch.  Priss is a
little bit on the hostile side, but what do you expect from a retrothrash
singer like her?" He turned on the shower and played with the temperature
for a few moments.  "But by Tyr, they're a quartet of centerfolds,
especially Nene and Linna!" he continued, and sunk his voice into a
lecherous drawl.  "I'd buy THAT fer a dollar!"

Moeru: I want Nene tho!

Chris stepped into the shower, banged his head on the low ceiling, and began
working on washing his hair, repeating the process a few times to make sure
all the dust was removed.  As he moved down onto his chest, he looked with a
bit of disgust at the amount of skin space he had gained.  "Well, could be
worse," he mused, "I could have been dumped in Ranma 1/2."  He suddenly
shuddered.  "I don't even want to know what I'd look like as a girl."  He
began to soap down his body, a tune rising from his throat to echo off the
walls.

Ritsuko: Either way you'd be very cuteSae: Ritsuko-sama..You said he was too
old...
Ritsuko: For you maybe. At my age, none of that matters
Sae: Your age?
Ritsuko: Heheh..Quiet

"You could say I lost my faith in science and progress.
You could say I lost my belief in the Holy Church.
You could say I lost my sense of direction.
You could say all that and worse..."

***

"It could be worse," Nene giggled as she went to sit down.  "At least he's
not as bad as Mackie," she ignored the indignant shout from his direction,
"and he's a hunk!"  She made like she was holding a ball with her hands.
"His arms are as big around as my leg!"

Moeru: I'll bet.Ritsuko: I wonder what else is that big?
<Moeru glares at Ritsuko>

Linna nodded in agreement.  "I wonder how he's built in...other areas?" She
blushed as the other Sabers gave her scandalized looks.

Ritsuko: See? Even Linna's thinking about it!Moeru: Ugh..Fine. Fanatize all you
want

"Jeez, a guy calls you hot and you melt all over him," Priss said in a
disgusted voice, flopping down in her seat.

"Indeed, control yourselves," Sylia added.

Linna and Nene exchanged smug looks.  "Sylia-and-Priss-are-jealous!
Sylia-and-Priss-are-jealous!" they chanted in a sing-song.

Ritsuko\Sae<singing along>: Sylia-and-Priss-are-jealous!
Sylia-and-Priss-are-jealous!

"I AM NOT!" Priss roared, and the singing pair laughed.

"If you guys want to see, take a look," Mackie called from Sylia's computer.
The women exchanged confused looks, and then walked over to the terminal.
There, on the screen, was the image of Chris in the shower.  Mackie backed
away to let the women watch the computer.  Sylia reached out and punched a
key, activating the audio.

<Ritsuko drools>

"...bunch of centerfolds, especially Nene and Linna!"  A small cheer rose
from Nene.

Linna smiled at Priss's nonplussed expression.  "Feeling a little green?"

Priss began to snap back at her, when she caught the singing coming from the
screen.  She pushed Nene out of the way and listened carefully.  "That's
Sting," she murmured.  "If I Ever Lose My Faith in You, 1993."  She glared
Nene into silence as the red-head began to speak, and listened further.
"He's got a good voice.  Baritone, too low for that song, but very good."

Ritsuko: Sure, a cute naked man is on the screen and she's commenting about his
singing? That woman has to be a lesbian

Linna suddenly made a choked noise that got the other three women's
attention.  "Sylia, which shower is that?"

Mackie decided this was a very good time to vacate the premises.

"The one in the lab," Sylia replied, confused, and then an angry scowl came
to her face as she realized what Linna was getting at.  Priss began to
swear, and Nene's face flushed with fury.

"MAAAAACKIIIIIE!"

Moeru: <Snicker> Go Mackie!<Ritsuko fwaps him>

***

The salesman stared in glee at the giant of a man who walked in the door.
Finally, someone other than one of those ridiculous bodyguard boomers to
clothe.  "Can I help you, Sir?"

The man smirked down at him.  "Let's start with shirts, shall we?"  He
jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the red-head and brunette who followed
him in.  "I think they're a bit embarrassed to be seen with me like this."

Moeru: Nene probably isn't ;)

"Right away, sir!"

A few hours later, Chris had managed to find a few plain T-shirts that fit
him without being too tight, as well as some dress shirts in various dark
shades of the rainbow.  The pants were an assortment of jeans, both blue and
black, as well as a couple Dockers.  The ensemble was crowned with a
forest-green trenchcoat that swirled around Chris's legs as he walked.  He
practically skipped out of the store, Sylia's credit card nearly a hundred
thousand newyen poorer.

Moeru: Yeah, Sylia's hurtin for cash. She's practically going to declare
bankruptcy

Nene patted him on the arm sympathetically.  "Don't worry," she soothed,
"we'll find something for you to do."  She winked at Linna, and began
listing things of on her fingers.  "You could work at the Silky Doll..."

"NO WAY!"

Moeru: YES WAY! Do you understand the job you just passed up?

"...or maybe some modeling - some girls like the hulking type..."

Moeru: Hulk smash!

"I'm flattered.  Not."

"...or you could join ADP..."

"Yaright."

Ritsuko: And die a painful horrible death at the hand of a boomer.

"...OR," Nene let the word hang in the air, drawing out the suspense, "you
could always talk to Priss.  She thinks you've got a great singing voice."

Chris considered that one.  "Well, I DO have six years of vocal training,
one of it formal," he mused, then his eyes widened.  "How exactly do you
know about my singing voice?" he asked in a very even, controlled voice,
first glaring at Nene, who blushed sheepishly, then at Linna, who tried to
look innocent and failed.  "I think I'm going to have a very long talk with
Mackie."

Moeru: about how to install those in other rooms ;)

Linna looked alarmed.  "Now Chris, wait, there's no need to do anything bad
to him," she began.

"Oh please," Chris interrupted with a disgusted look.  "Do I look like the
violent type?"  He got a mock indignant expression on his face.  "I like to
think of myself as a big teddy-bear, thank you very much," he said in an
injured tone, and Linna looked relieved.  "No, I was going to ask him to
help me get some pictures of you four...after all, my room will need
decorating."  He held his hands up like he was straightening a painting.
"Picture it.  Life sized posters of my four new friends wearing nothing at
all..."

<Moeru drools>Moeru: Send some to me!

"CHRIS!"  Nene and Linna gasped, scandalized.

"...but their skinsuits," he finished smoothly, then grinned evilly.
"Gotcha."

Moeru: Damn.

"Ooooh...you," Nene fumed, and then punched him in the shoulder as hard as
she could. "JERK!"

"Oww!" Chris yelped, and rubbed his wounded shoulder ruefully.  "You pack a
mean punch in such a little frame."  He looked around peevishly as his
stomach rumbled.  "Wherefore my food is?  Hungry am I!"

Ritsuko: He's gotta be faking that. Nene's the weakest one. I'd be frightened if
an angry Linna hit him.

On cue, the waitress came out of the kitchen, doing the amazing balancing
act usually involved in getting the food to the table.  As she reached their
table, she took a glance out the window and froze completely.  The dishes
she carried slipped from her numb finger and went crashing to the ground.
Nene and Chris yelled in complaint, but the waitress merely pointed a
shaking hand at the window.

"Oh shit," Chris said softly.  Outside the window was a large hulking
humanoid figure.  It was a good twenty centimeters shorter than Chris, but
was much broader in the shoulders, upper body, and hips.  It was covered in
tatters of plastic-seeming flesh and cheap clothing.  At its feet was the
mangled remains of a business man.  As they watched, the boomers mouth
opened grotesquely large and a brilliant blue beam shot out of it, turning
the ADP squad car that was entering the scene into a orange-yellow fireball.
"Linna..."

Linna had her cellular phone out, and was punching a number on it
frantically.  "I know! I know!" she yelled as she sunk down in her seat.
Nene had already done so, and was now peeking over the window to watch the
boomer's rampage.  She shrieked as car not too far from the restaurant was
detonated by another blast of the mouth-cannon.

"Nene," Chris spoke in a strangely calm tone, "how long does it usually take
ADP to get to the sight of an attack?"

"About ten minutes," she replied.  "Why?" She then noticed Linna on the
phone and hissed, "Tell Sylia to hurry!"

"Linna," he continued after moment, "how long does Sylia say she'll take?"
He stood, and was looking around the restaurant.

"She put her ETA at fifteen," she said.  "She told us to try and head down
the street for a rendezvous."

Moeru:I see..She's slower than the ADP, yet more effective..Uhm..Ok.

"I see," Chris said evenly.  "Let's go."  He picked up his jacket from
beside Linna, threw it over his shoulder, and started to run out of the
deli, the two women hot on his heels.  He stopped just before the door.
"Which way?"

Linna pushed past him roughly.  "Follow me!"  she cried as she dashed out
the door, thankfully turning right, away from the boomer's area of control.
They ran down the block, hitting the ground once when another explosion
occurred behind them.

Moeru: Well, that's it. We sorta jumped a bit but its our first time. All in
all, it was a good fic. Very interesting
Ritsuko: Mmm...Phone number..must have hunk's phone number...
Sae: Ritsuko-sama..What was that thing earlier?
Ritsuko: Oh..uhm..that's something we'll explain later..much later...
Moeru: Until next time peoples.
--
mo ichido futari de weekend
kami-sama kanaete happy end
genzai kako mirari mo
anata ni kubittake

Power for those who can fuck it
Freedom for those who can find it
Sex for those who can buy it
Television today...never lies...  -Atari Teenage Riot


-Moeru moeru@worldnet.att.net