ADAM: Hello there Chris, this is your local neighborhood multiverse
character calling.

WASHUU: Don't rub it in, dear.

ADAM: Uhh, fine. First off, I generally considered this a good story,
humorous at times, but I find a few things unbelievable despite the
fact that it's a self insertion story.

WASHUU: And you wouldn't know anything about Self-Insertion stories,
would you?

ADAM: ...

"Oh, YOU people," he muttered, a tone of infinite disgust in his

voice.  "I

suppose it was to much to ask for it to be a dream, I suppose," he

sighed

and then scowled at Priss as he noticed her playing with her gun. 

"Ms.

Asagiri, I'm quite well restrained, and it's obvious you won't kill

me until

your illustrious leader's curiosity is satisfied.  Could you PLEASE

put the

gun away?  It makes me nervous."

ADAM: Okay, caught in a situation like this, being confidant and
controlling is very good.  Helps from having a nervous break down.

Chris snickered.  "Young man...oh Tyr, that's funny," he chortled. 

"For

your information, young lady," he drawled, "my name is Christopher

Angel,

age 22, electrical engineer."  He grinned.  "Call me Chris."  He

frowned up

at the ceiling and sighed.  "Highly knowledgeable on the theory and
mechanics of technology thirty-five years out of date, oh fun and

joy," he

complained.

ADAM: Good way to keep control of the situation, especially with people
who could kill you in an instant if you threaten.

"Um...where I come from," he paused and grimaced.  Chris just knew

this was

going to suck.  "You're an anime.  Bubblegum Crisis from Artmic. 

Sylia

Stingray and her band of mercenaries, the most attractive fighters

ever to

hit the screen.  Blood, guts, mecha, violence, and fan service, oh

my.  Hey,

I do believe I'm babbling."

ADAM: [sighs] Okay, you've lost it.  I honestly don't see how anyone,
given this particular situation, would claim that people who believe
they are real and at this moment in time ARE real enough to kill you
could possibly say this.  It just doesn't make sense unless you are
aiming to be called a liar or sent to an insanitarium.

WASHUU: Hindsight is 20/20.

ADAM: What's that supposed to mean.

WASHUU: Figure it out, and when I do I'll consider letting you touch my
machinery again.

Sylia and the others gaped at him.  "You can't honestly expect us to

believe

that?" Linna demanded.

ADAM: NO ONE would believe that, and you, creator of worlds through
fanfiction, should have known that they wouldn't.
 

"You're taking this well," Linna said with a bit of surprise.

"I'm Catholic," Nene repeated, as if that explained everything.

ADAM: Uh-huh.  She only said what they were REFERRING to, she never
said that she believed what was going on. If you ask me, she probably
doesn't.  Considering the amount of sentient beings they've killed, she
should be deathly afraid of the possibility that there is a pro-active
god.

"You WHAT?" Chris screamed, and did a sort of mental diagnostic. 

"I'll be

damned.  You did."  He frowned slightly.  "I suppose that's fair."

ADAM: Uhh...

WASHUU: No comment.
 

YES.  AS FOR YOUR POWERS, THEY WILL ACTIVATE NOW.

WASHUU: Look strangely familiar, dear?

ADAM: [sweatdrops] Hey! It's a usual occurrence in Self-Insertions.

WASHUU: But I thought you said you didn't know anything about
Self-Insertions?

ADAM: I... uh... don't!

him, and he noticed that he was sinking - through the table.  A

moment

later, he hit the floor of the lab, and looked up through  the

person-shaped

hole in the table.  He touched the side of the hole, and the table

seemed to

melt where he touched it, and a dark substance flowed under his skin

up into

his body.

WASHUU: What keeps him from sinking through the floor?

ADAM: The script.  Honestly though, try to explain that a little.  It's
the same thing with the movie Ghost.  He can walk through a staircase,
but when he steps on it he can climb it.

"I'd like to go down in the record now for saying I really hate

this," Priss

noted, and scowled down at the comatose man.  She suddenly got a

puzzled

look on her face.  "Hey, is it just me or is he bigger?"

"PRISS!" Linna gasped, scandalized.

Priss gave her a peeved look.  "I meant TALLER," she said

defensively.
 
ADAM: Geeze! Everyone' a pervert.

WASHUU: ...

"Although you now top 2.1 meters, so you'll really stick out in a

crowd."

ADAM: This.. is an understatement.

WASHUU: 2.1 meters is roughly 6 1/2 - 7 feet, not apparent in America
but in Japan?

ADAM: Generally, the human species is constantly growing, the average
height of a human is getting larger.  In 35 years, I would hope that
Asians are at least a little bit taller that they were in 1998.

WASHUU: We've both lived through 2033, why don't you just tell them how
tall people are?

ADAM: Paradox contingency.

WASHUU: Liar.

Sylia shook her head.  "You can't honestly expect us to believe

that."

ADAM: Did I comment on this before?

WASHUU: Deja Vu?

ADAM: Nah, I just used the scroll bar.  Anyway, do I have to count, or
is this the last time she says that?
 

The others just stared at him, and finally Linna spoke.  "Now, I

believe

you," she said.  "No one could get that angry over something they

made up.

No one would make something that goofy up anyway."  Priss snorted,

but

nodded her agreement.

ADAM: Wanna bet?
 

"Ms. Romanova, remember to me, this entire world WAS an anime."

ADAM: I wouldn't keep pushing that angle if I was you.  At least make
them comfortable if you're going to stay with them.

He leaned against the cold metal for a few minutes,
reviewing the events of the past few hours in his head.  He began to
rhythmically pound his head against the metal.  "Great, smartass,

what are

you, stupid?  Let's just mouth off to ALL of them, why don't we?"  He

put

his face in his hands.  "Where did I pick up this talent for making

an ass

of myself, anyway?"

WASHUU: When what you do has little consequence, why bother being nice
or hospitable.

ADAM: Translation: You're a god. What does a god have to worry about
pissing off people?

As he stripped, Chris shook his head ruefully.  "Nice bunch.  Priss

is a

little bit on the hostile side, but what do you expect from a

retrothrash

singer like her?" He turned on the shower and played with the

temperature

for a few moments.  "But by Tyr, they're a quartet of centerfolds,
especially Nene and Linna!" he continued, and sunk his voice into a
lecherous drawl.  "I'd buy THAT fer a dollar!"

WASHUU: [cynical laugh] Some god.
 

"It's the rules," Priss countered, and rose to tower over the

red-head. "And

he's a risk!  Better safe than sorry!"

ADAM: Fine, while we're at it, lets kill you too Priss for breaking..
uh.. EVERY rule.

WASHUU: Not every.

ADAM: Hyperbole, learn to use it.

WASHUU: Humph! See if I let you be on top again.

ADAM: [eyes widen; big blush accompanied by a plethora of sweatdrops]
 

"Priss, Nene, calm down!" Sylia ordered sharply.  "Killing him is not

an

option," she said firmly, and then turned a coldly amused gaze on to

Priss.

ADAM: Look at that! I guess that previous comment is pointless.

"The one in the lab," Sylia replied, confused, and then an angry

scowl came

to her face as she realized what Linna was getting at.  Priss began

to

swear, and Nene's face flushed with fury.

"MAAAAACKIIIIIE!"

ADAM: BWUAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

DOGBERT: [slaps ADAM from off-screen] That's my laugh, Gimp!

KATSUHITO JINNAI: [slaps DOGBERT] Haha-haahahaha-waahhaahahhahah!

WASHUU: [sweatdrops]
 

"...but their skinsuits," he finished smoothly, then grinned evilly.
"Gotcha."

ADAM: Possibly an offending remark as well.  Good thing Nene and Linna
are good sports about it.
 

Linna gasped and grabbed Chris' upper arm.  "Are you insane?" she

yelled.

"You've never fought a boomer before!"

ADAM: So what?  I fought Kagato at about the same age, with about the
same experience.

WASHUU: And Tenchi did most of the work if I recall.

ADAM: That's a detail, we don't deal with details here.

WASHUU: That statement is so ironic that I won't even try to quip.
 

"I'm saving lives," Chris returned, and his right arm blurred.  The

shotgun

was sliced in two right between the officer's hands.  "And I'm out of

your

league."  With that, he jumped over the battered patrol car that was

the

last part of the barricade, and walked into the battlefield.

ADAM: Hmm..

WASHUU: Absolute power, corrupts absolutely?

ADAM: Exactly.  Anyway, to end up, this is pretty interesting and I'd
expect to see some more.  I'm not sure how you're trying to push this,
since BGC is a generally serious world where hope is thin and the
heroes are not what you expect them to be, and Self-Insertions are
generally light hearted, but it'll still be interesting.  Have anything
to say, honey?

WASHUU: Always.

Adam Christopher Leigh
Omicron@sprynet.com
http://dogbert.simplenet.com/Tempest