LAST X-OVER COMBINATION IN THE WORLD PICKED UP BY ILLINOIS FANFIC WRITER!

by Peter Slydale  WASHINGTON (AT): At approximately 12:30 PM (EST), a 
Springfield, Illinois fanfic writer posted a shortfic that may possibly 
possess that last, unused anime cross-over scenario in the world.
    The Dolemite/Grave of Fireflies combination, generally considered far too 
inappropiate for fanfic purposes for the better part of a decade, was 
unleashed Dick Wilson's "Dolemite: The Tragic Victim of War;" a hackneyed 
story about a New York City pimp struggling to survive in the aftermath of 
the Tokyo Firebombings, with only his kung-fu and his bitches to stake out 
his territory.
    Several fanfic writing groups have expressed their discontent with this 
relatively unknown author's "snatching" of a "valuable cross-over resource."  
Said President of the Northeastern Anime Crossover Club Johnny Benjamins, 
co-author of several Grave-of-Fireflies/Braveheart crossovers, "It's 
unfortunate that the novelty of this final crossover concept has been wasted 
on a relatively low-quality shortfic.  Even the title, which screams for a 
tasteful fanfic to accompany, suffers greatly from this D-grade tripe Mr. 
Wilson's putting out."
    The Funky Dove Crossover Fanfic Mailing List's moderator, who approves 
personally of both the posters to the list and the posts themselves, claims 
that "Dolemite: The Tragic Victim of War" slipped past him sometime between 
12:30 PM and 1:00 PM, as network delays drew his attention away from his 
custodial duties.  "I'm well aware of the implications of this," Moderator 
Silas Theisman told reporters.  "The fact of the matter is that the 
Grave-of-Fireflies/As-Good-As-It-Gets combination had at least thirty-eight 
more full length fanfics, and probably over a hundred shortfics, left before 
that particular genre faded away.  With the unnecessary introduction of this 
idiotic attempt at originality, not only is the Dolemite genre's novelty 
depreciated, but it also detracts attention from the As-Good-As-It-Gets fics 
already in circulation.
    "Comments and Criticism" editor Thalia Michaelson reviewed a copy of 
"Dolemoite: The Tragic Victim of War," and while stating the concept moved 
her, the story fell far short of Mr. Wilson's aspirations.  "This is the 
worst thing to happen since L. Ron Hubbard was slapped back down into the 
ranks of fanfic writers."  Mr. Theisman agrees.  "I promise you that Mr. 
Wilson won't ever pillage our valuable, creative resources again.  He's 
hereby banned from my list."  Soon afterwards, Mr. Theisman was forced to 
dissolve the list do to the lack of vocal participation.  In the meantime, 
new mailing lists and newsgroups--particularly alt.flame.asshole.wilson--have 
suddenly sprung up overnight, drawing not only the vocal minority of almost 
every anime mailing list and newsgroup in existent, but also their lurking 
populations as well.
    Mr. Wilson was unavailable for comment.

-The Reverend Prez
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-----The Representative of the Everlasting Funk-----
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"The Badass Reverend Prez"    |  Author of Robotech:
NROTC Candidate and        |  The Odysseus Epic and
Boy's State Representative |  other AMDG fanfics
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