DiScLaImEr:  Rumiko Takahashi and a bunch of rich corporations own all 
the characters in this fic.  My use of them in no way is meant to
undermine those claims, and suing me would be a huge waste of time.
If, for some reason, you actually think this meager tribute to RT's
genius deserves to be further distributed, you may do so, so long as
you: a) reprint this disclaimer; b) give me credit (blame?) for the
story and; c) don't actually sell it (Yeah, like that's a concern!).
And now, on with the fic.

   A quick recap:  Tatewaki Kunou, speaking in an uncharacteristically 
plain fashion, told a shadowed figure that their deal was off, and went 
forth to proclaim his love for Nabiki Tendou.  This figure then 
apparently arranged for Kodachi to intercept her brother, and kill him.
   After the funeral, Nabiki wept by Kunou's grave, trying to figure out 
what had gone wrong.  When she returned home, she got a threatening 
phone call, reminding her it was time for her regular payments.  After 
the call, we were treated to a pre-Ranma flashback, revealing that 
Nabiki is being blackmailed after being caught in a kiddie-porn set-up.
   Nabiki returned to her room, where she discovered that the digital 
camera she has hidden in the bathroom and linked to her PC has given her 
more than she bargained for....
   The next morning, Akane discovered the Jusenkyou Guide's corpse, 
floating in the koi pond.  On his forehead was a strange tattoo: an eye 
atop a pyramid.  As the various residents of Nerima tried to cope with 
this turn of events, Nabiki tried to figure out what to do with her 
newfound discovery.
   Happousai, learning of the tattoo, charged off into the night, dark 
suspicions forming.  Meanwhile, Kodachi has captured her father and is 
torturing him in the basement, slowly removing every last hair from his 
body with a pair of tweezers.
   When Happi returns with confirmation of his suspicions, he is caught 
by a tailor-made trap in the back yard (a veritable Frederick's of 
Hollywood inventory on the clothesline, all dipped in a heart 
stimulant).  As Happousai collapses from a heart attack, his spirit is 
able to warn Ranma that they face they mysterious Illuminati.  Cologne, 
at the dojo for a "visit" (read: botched Ranma-napping attempt), is able 
to tell them a little about the Hidden Masters, but announces that she 
will have to do some research into the matter.
   After she leaves, Soun and Genma dispose of their late master, while 
Akane and Ranma settle in for some TV to get their minds on something 
else.  They are stunned when they realize that the appetizers Akane 
whipped up to munch on are not only edible, but downright delicious.
   Nighttime settles in on the dojo--Kasumi cleans up the mess left in 
the bathroom by the fathers, who returned from their grisly errand 
covered with garbage.  Afterwards, she settled in for a bath of her own, 
while an unseen Soun watched through a hole in the ceiling, doing the 
sort of thing you should NOT be doing while watching your eldest 
daughter bathe [all together now:  EEWW!].  Over at Ucchan's, Sasuske 
was busy spreading one of his mistress' concoctions on the sleeping 
chef, ending with a subtle suggestion.
   Nabiki, still in a state of turmoil over the info she found on the 
computer, decides to visit Kunou's grave in an attempt to muster the 
courage to do what she feels she needs to.  As she goes out the front 
door, Ukyou sneaks into Ranma's window, after making sure the Panda is 
busy raiding the fridge.  Ranma finally blunts the attempted seduction 
attack, only to have Shampoo enter before he can figure out what got 
into Ukyou.
   Nabiki, at the graveyard, is confronted by a crazed Kodachi (crazed 
even by her standards, that is).  After a short fight, Nabiki is 
subdued, but not before she manages a single cry for help.
   And so we move on to:

*****************
* Illuminations *
*****************

**************************
* A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction *
**************************

***************
* By Freemage *
***************

*Author's Note:  This story draws on both the anime and the manga.

 This is a dark story, with several sexually suggestive scenes,
 although no outright Lemon scenes.  (This chapter is probably the
 most suggestive one yet.) If such material offends or disturbs you,
 please consider not reading this story--Unless, of course, you like
 being offended and/or disturbed....

  Thoughts are denoted by {X}.*

                      ****************************
                      * Chapter Six              *
                      * Dancing in the Moonlight *
                      ****************************

     "Nasty Spatula-Girl stay away from darling Ranma!"

     Shampoo's battle cry was accompanied by a bonbori swing 
 that would have removed Ukyou's head if it had connected.
 Fortunately, Ukyou saw the move coming and dodged easily,
 rolling across the floor and coming up in a combat stance.

     Shampoo tried to charge her before she could ready
 herself or counterattack, but Ranma leapt between them,
 blocking Shampoo's attack.

     "What wrong?  Surely fiancee not want to make whoopie
 with Spatula-Slut?"

     "Uhhh...Not exactly...But, uhmmm...You see..."

     Ukyou's voice came from behind Ranma.  "Articulate as
 ever, eh, Ranma-sugar?  Don't worry--I've got the perfect
 rebuttal for the Chinese Menace right here."

     Trying to fight down his ever-rising panic, Ranma took
 a quick glance over his shoulder.  At least he meant it to
 be a quick glance, before what he saw practically petrified
 him.

     Ukyou had apparently taken advantage of the distraction
 to recover her spatulas.  She had not, however, bothered to
 recover her robe.  As a result, the leather harness used
 to hold the smaller throwing spatulas was having an...
 uplifting effect on her already-attractive figure.

     Even more arresting were the eyes, which now blazed
 with a rage Ranma had never seen in her (or to be truthful,
 in anyone else).  Coupled with the slight, enigmatic smile
 she wore, Ranma could only come to one conclusion.  {She's
 actually *enjoying* this...}

     Reaching into the backpack that lay next to the wall,
 Ukyou pulled out one of her exploding flour bags.  "Hit
 the dirt, lover!" she cried, hurling the bag at Shampoo.

     Ranma pinwheeled out of the way, catching himself on
 the windowsill, and watched in dazed confusion as Shampoo
 leapt over the incoming missile.  The packet struck the
 wall over his futon.  There was a brilliant flash, followed
 by a concussive wave that drove all three through the
 remnants of the outside wall.

  *******************************************************

     Mousse-Duck waddled up to the Nekohanten.  {Oh, my 
 darling Shampoo!  Why do you insist on pursuing that foul
 cad Saotome, when the one who truly loves you is within 
 you reach?}
   
     So distracted was the young man-turned-duck by these
 thoughts that he failed completely to notice a diminutive
 figure coming running around the corner.  Of course, that
 figure's traditional ninja garb might have had something to
 do with it, too.

     As the two collided, Mousse felt his glasses slide down
 his beak, landing just in the right spot to be crushed by
 the falling ninja's splayed arm.

     "Oh, Master Mousse, sir, thank heavens I've found you!" 
 Mousse thought he recognized the voice as that of the
 servant of that strange gymnast girl who had also fallen
 under Saotome's evil spell.

     Mousse then felt the welcome flow of hot water spilling
 over his head, even as the ninja continued his frantic
 speech.  "I've come to warn you!  Miss Shampoo is in
 danger!"

     An icy dagger pierced Mousse's heart.  "What!?  Where
 is she?  What danger is she in?"  Even as he spoke, the
 Master of the Hidden Weapons Technique reached under his
 armpit and pulled out a small, folded piece of white cloth,
 the size of a handkerchief.

     The small man replied, "She is at the Tendo Dojo,
 battling her attacker even as we speak.  You must hurry!" 
 Internally, Sasuke was amazed as the male Amazon snapped
 the cloth three times, causing it to unfold into a
 complete set of clothing, which he rapidly donned.

     "Thank you, my friend.  Shampoo!  Hang on, I'm coming
 to rescue you!"  Mousse leapt up to the rooftops, a
 cavalry of one.

     Sasuke watched the retreating figure with a morose
 expression.  {You poor, deluded fool.  I can only hope....}
 He shook his head at that line of thought.  It seemed like
 hope had abandoned Nerima, of late.  With a heavy sigh, the
 ninja once again became one with the black, velvety night.

  *******************************************************

     Akane awoke to a thunderous blast.  She could tell it
 had come from Ranma's room.  {What is that idiot up to now?
 Doesn't he know people are trying to sleep?}

     Running down the hall, she started to worry when she
 saw the door hanging on a single hinge.  Looking through the
 doorway, she became even more worried.  Although a lot of the
 room was filled with a cloud of white powder, Akane could
 see that much of the far wall had been taken out by the
 blast, and she could dimly see two figures leaping over the
 pond in back, apparently swiping at one another as they
 passed in midair.

     Without thinking, Akane whipped around and dashed past
 the others who had gathered in the hallway behind her,
 ignoring their questions and confused looks.

     As she emerged through the back door and into the yard,
 she came to a screeching halt.  {What got into those two
 maniacs, now,} she wondered.  Shampoo was really no
 surprise, but to find Ukyou naked and attacking like some
 sort of character in a video game was a bit much.  Then
 she saw Ranma, on all fours in the grass, obviously trying
 to clear his head.  Even as far as she was, she could see
 the blood dripping from his forehead.

  ********************************************************

     Heart pounding, Mousse ran-hopped over the rooftops of
 Nerima, blindly charging toward the Tendo Dojo.  He could
 only hope that he was not too late to save Shampoo's honor.

     In his anger, he had not been willing to take the time
 to replace the glasses Sasuke had clumsily broken.  As a
 result, he was only able to see forms and colors--no details.

     {That's alright.  I know the way there by heart--and I
 am sure I will be able to recognize the devil Saotome when I
 need to.}

   **********************************************************

     Ranma came around to the sound of Ukyou and Shampoo's
 battle, just as Akane came running out the back.  He half-
 expected her to launch into an attack, and was pleasantly
 surprised when she simply helped him to his feet, a worried
 expression on her face.

     "What happened?"

     "I dunno.  First Ucchan showed up, acting all crazy, then
 Shampoo came in after her in some kind of rage."

     Nabiki's cry cut short their conversation:  "Akane! 
 Ranma!  Help!"  They ran off, Ranma pausing only long enough
 to shout to his father, "See that those two don't hurt each
 other, Pop!"

   **********************************************************

     Genma studied the Amazon and the chef as they squared off
 against one another.  Bonbori met Big Fucking Spatula [TM],
 while throwing spatulas gleamed in the moonlight.

     {There is no way I am getting involved in that one.  I've
 got too many responsibilities to risk myself so recklessly in
 a battle like that, no matter how strong my personal desire
 to act.}

     The Master of the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts
 Secret Rationalization Technique retreated into the family
 room....

   **********************************************************

     Although Nabiki's cry had been too far away to pinpoint
 its precise origin, Ranma, like many martial arts masters,
 had learned how to tell the direction of a single sound. It
 was only the distance that he was unsure of.

     He paused only momentarily when the cemetary wall loomed
 ahead, cutting off the narrow alley.  Then he went over like
 one of the cats he so hated, barely even touching the top of
 the wall before he landed inside.

     Akane actually stopped for a second, considering.  {I 
 *should* go back, and get some help...I don't think anyone
 else heard...And the graveyard is spooky at night...But then
 Ranma wouldn't have any back-up....}

     The last thought settled it for her.  She sprang to the
 top of the wall, looked to see Ranma standing by one of the
 graves, jumped down and walked over to him.

     "Look at this."  He held out his hand.  In it was
 Nabiki's money pouch.

     Akane grew even more worried.  "No *way* did she drop
 that voluntarily."
  
     "What was she doing out here, anyway?"

     "I think your answer is right there," she said,
 pointing at the nearest tombstone.

     "Kunou's grave...You mean that she..."

     "We can ask her--When we've found her."

     "Right.  Look around, see if you can find any clues as
 to who did this or where they might have taken her."

     The two of them started searching in an ever-widening
 circle.  Akane shuddered, thinking about the gravesites she
 was passing by.  {This kind of omen I *don't* need.}

     Ranma stopped short.  "I think I know who took her--and
 where they went."

     "What do you mean?"  Then she saw it. A gymnastics
 ribbon, lying on the manicured grass of the graveyard.

     "Are you sure it's hers?"  There was no need to
 identify Kodachi as the one they were talking about.

     "Yep.  And the only reason I can think of that she would
 have left it here, rather than on Tatewaki's grave, is that
 she had a more important burden...."

     "I think we need to go back and get the others.  That
 mansion is a giant death-trap."

     Turning back to the house, Ranma grimaced.  "More like
 a *series* of death-traps."

     They ran back to the house.

   **********************************************************

     Mousse sped up as he heard the sounds of battle.
 Adrenalin surged through his body as he caught a faint trace
 of Shampoo's gasp.

     {He struck her...Knocked the wind from her lungs...Ranma
 Saotome, you shall PAY!!!}

     He finally arrived on a neighbor's house, trying to make
 out the blurred forms he saw through moonlight and myopic
 eyes.

     There was Shampoo, obviously.  The purple hair was
 impossible to miss, even for his vision.  And that must be
 Saotome she was fighting.  He paused.  Was Saotome...naked?
 Yes, yes he was sure that there was nothing but flesh tone
 visible under that black hair.

     Suddenly it became clear.  Saotome had lured his precious
 Shampoo here, only to try to attack her and steal her virtue!
 This heinous deed could not go unpunished....

     "Tonight, Ranma Saotome, you die!"  he cried, leaping
 into the fray.

   **********************************************************

     Ukyou swung again at the feisty Amazon.  She was still a
 little fog-headed, but things had started, just barely, to
 clear.  She was beginning to wonder at her behavior this
 evening, even as she held off Shampoo's attacks.

     {I think I'm gonna have some apologizing to do...}

     She managed a lucky swing, knocking Shampoo's breath
 away.  As her opponent's attacks were slowed, Ukyou had even
 more time to collect her wits.  She was about to start to
 talk truce--for one thing, she had just realized that she was
 naked--when an angry cry cut through the night, distracting
 her.

     "Tonight, Ranma Saotome, you die!"

     She turned to see who this new threat to Ranma-Sugar was,
 and was stunned to see Mousse--almost as stunned as she was
 to see the sharp blades streaking toward her, edges glistening
 in the moonlight....

   ***********************************************************

     "Tonight, Ranma Saotome, you die!"

     Ranma heard the all-too familar battle cry as he came over
 the fence.  The strange thing was that the direction was all
 wrong.  The speaker, Mousse, was clearly not facing him.

     Ranma froze.

     He saw Mousse leaping from a neighbor's roof.  He saw Ukyou
 spin, responding to Mousse's cry.  He saw the sharp points
 on the tips of Mousse's chains pierce flesh. 

     And he saw blood.

     "UKYOU!!!!!"

   ***********************************************************

                           End Chapter Six

  Random ramblings:  I didn't do it.  Really.  I would never dream
 of hurting Ukyou.  Never.  Must've been those damned Illuminati,
 again.  Yeah, that's it.  They obviously accessed my Hotmail
 account and posted this whole story under my name, just ot keep me
 from being able to blow there cover, see?  Ummmm...Anyone buying
 this?

  C&C may be sent anywhere you like, but I'll only see it if you
 put it on the list or reply directly.  I'm getting a little
 desperate here, folks.  You all've gotta have some kind of
 reaction to this drivel....  MST's are highly desirable.  Thanks
 for reading!  
 See you all in Chapter 6!

 
--Freemage  


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