Subject: [FFML] Yen Town, Fushigi Yuugi, and other writer's angst
From: TimeRunner
Date: 1/2/1996, 9:05 AM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

Before setting down to write part 4 of Yen Town, I sat down in front of my TV with my lunch, and popped in Fushigi Yuugi eps 9-12.

Half watching and half musing, in between spoonfuls of rice and meatballs and large dashes of shoyu, I wondered to myself if Yen Town was becoming less and less noire and more and more basic dark. I pondered how far I would go for the story. No, I don't refer to the writing style. I mean the events that are supposed to transpire.

Whenever I write a story, either I have no idea what's supposed to happen next, or, in the case of Yen Town, a more or less definite ending is already planned, but the events in between are rather less definite, until they are actually written down.

It was when the critical scene in episode 12 played, as I shut my eyes and turned away, that I realized how far my limit was. It's almost as if, for a writer who prides in keeping an open mind, my story would turn in every single direction possible, except one. One that I fear may be what others might consider a handicap.

I refuse to write about rape.

It seems only logical to write it in in Yen Town, if only an attempted one, or one that is only implied, but... Damn, how do I explain this? I'm male, and yet the very idea of it fills me with utter revulsion and horror that I cannot bring myself to even consider it for more than a moment.
If it comes down to it, I think, I would rather see someone die before my eyes than see someone raped. In fact, while my friends were watching Urotsukidoji wide-eyed and salivating, I walked away while plugging my ears and instead sat in front of my friend's PC and started playing a MIDI and began typing, knocking back at the bottle of beer every one in a while.
(As a side note, Gratuitous Self was born that night.)

Somebody stop me if I'm wrong, but I think this relates enough to writing to warrant space here, just as long as we keep it witih topic. People, we don't want Tybalt on our heads, so I must say, I'm relating this entire... 'pet peeve'... only to illustrate a point.

The point is this: If I can bring myself to write about evil and demonic things and diss God and Christianity every so often (even though, technically, I'm a Christian myself) and I can write about killing and violence (even though I have never killed anyone), does the fact that I absolutely CANNOT even bear to think about rape for more than a few seconds limit me as a writer? That the fact that I refuse to go down that path signify how closed-minded I am as a writer? That I refuse to 'push the boundaries' like other writers?
This is probably why I'm so concerned about the 'dark' label. I understand that everyone is free to write about their own thing, but, if I feel some writers simply and callously write in a death or a rape scene just to draw a reaction from the list (remember the the shockfic debate?) then please pardon me if I never read it.



Does anyone else have a problem writing about this or other things? I want to know.
Until then, I'll be trying to blot out Yui's screams from my mind.



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TimeRunner's Page:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Towers/7482

icq: 7153134 (Keiichi)
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"The story grew in the most convoluted way, as many people will be surprised to learn. Writing episodically meant that when I finished one episode I had no idea about what the next one would contain. When, in the twists and turns of the plot, some event suddenly seemed to illuminate things that had gone before, I was as surprised as anyone else."

--- Douglas Adams, "A Guide to the Guide"