[Warhammer comes from the light.]
	WH: To know oneself is to know truth. And when you know yourself, you 
cannot lie to yourself on who, what, and why you are. 

Teknos Warhammer presents

Seraphim's Judgment:
Part 9b:
Shinji's Angels

A crossover fanfic between Teknoman and
Neon Genesis Evangelion


	Life.

	What is this? 

	Nothing more than a large and complex series of elements, matter, and 
cellular activity. Regardless of what we say or do, life continues. 

	To kill. 

	To prematurely end a life. Be it either of a simple or complex plant, a 
small or large animal, it matters not. We live and we kill. 

	A man says he is hungry for meat. So, in order to get the meat, he 
kills the animal to get the meat. This is what makes man deadly. Yet, at 
the same time, it is nature. Man and animal are part of nature. It is 
nature to eat and kill to survive. So, does that make the death of the 
animal justifiable?

	I wonder. 

	I am Kaworu Nagisa. Yet, I am also Tabris. I am both. 	

	Kaworu. A simple boy, with the intelligence of a boy of only fourteen 
years of age. With a simple love for history, philosophy, and playing a 
violin is what he has.

	Tabris. The angel, who's only purpose is to reunite with Adam. Yet, why 
do I, Kaworu, call him an angel? 

	The angel that most know are of the messengers of God. Meaning good in 
what they do in serving Him. The powers, angels, arch-angels, Cherubim, 
Seraphim, Michel, Gabriel, and so on. All these are angels, yet, 
Sachiel, Arael, Armisael, Zeruel, and the rest of us do not seem to be 
the messengers of God, if we only destroy. 

	The angels that NERV fights and destroys are destroyers themselves. So, 
does that make us demons? 

	Mankind does not understand. That is the shortsightedness of Kaworu. 
We, the angels, are fighting for mere existence, and still we are hated. 
Had Adam been found by us instead of them, we would mean them all no 
harm at all. 

	The Seraphim, sent by God, also aids them. Why? We only seek Adam to 
return to the place where we were denied because of our foolishness in 
the distant past. 	

	Somehow, man was able to receive warning of our coming and created 
these machines to kill us. They believe that with Adam, they can become 
like God. I, Tabris, have never seen such foolishness. 

	True advancement is only achieved, not given. That is why, once I merge 
with Adam, I will take Adam from them and make sure that the many 
innocent will not pay for the guilt of the few. 

	Truth is a hard thing to keep from those you know. Because you want 
them to know what you know so you can think like them. Yet, I know that 
I am an angel, but I dare not tell anyone outside of Lorenz Keel. Why? 

	Does Keel believe that I will create the Third Impact that he searches 
for? Does he think that I will cause the Third Impact that will advance 
the human race? 

	I will not. Those foolish old men believe that I am their puppet, when 
in reality, I am the master. The only ones that are being used, is them. 

	I look to my left to see the other four 'children'. Before I came to 
this facility, I received a dossier on each particular one of the 
children. They were most informative, save for an error here and there. 
Looks like SEELE is beginning to lose its grip.

	Rei Ayanami. The First Child. As sterile of emotion as she is weak of 
mouth, she continues to fight against us. Not knowing the truth. There 
is something else too, she is only half angel. Which explains why she 
can hear us and can talk in our native tongue. Not only that, I can 
sense an entity similar to her in her own EVA. Could it be another, I 
wonder?

	Asuka Sohryu-Langley. The Second Child. From what I have heard and 
experienced, she is very brash, impulsive, and self-centered. Yet, 
before the occurrence with Arael, she was basically the most experienced 
pilot of the children. I can not, nor would I, feel sorry for her. She 
chose to let her past haunt her and mold her into the something she was 
most likely not meant to be, and now she is paying the price. I am not 
even sure that the help of the boy, Suzuhara, will do her any good. 

	Shinji Ikari. The Third Child. The most intriguing child of them all. I 
often had dreams, seeing boy like this. Crying as a large shadow left 
him alone, with no care of his own life whatsoever, and very submissive. 
Yet, he seems so much more different in real life. I can sense his 
courage, developing confidence, and most of all, his wounded heart 
healing. If this was the boy I saw in my dreams� I am glad. No one 
deserves to be unhappy, but sometimes events go beyond our control and 
that is what shapes us sometimes. That is what Kaworu thinks.

	Touji Suzuhara. The Fourth Child. A little similar to the second. He is 
rather brash and impulsive, just like Asuka, The difference between us 
is that he pilots this to help his younger sister. A noble cause to say 
the least. And to think that when I first heard of him, he hated the 
Evangelions with a passion because they were the cause of his sister's 
injury. I think I recall his first angel attack was with Bardiel, only 
with interference from the Seraphim was he able to escape unharmed. 
Somehow, I cannot help but think that because of the similar way they 
think, Asuka and this boy would most likely get along. Yet, they are 
both very headstrong and it is unlikely they will listen. 

	Then, there is me. Kaworu Nagisa. The Fifth Child. A rather soft-spoken 
boy, with a passion for playing the violin and playing the songs of hymn 
books and older renaissance works. A perfect cover for my true persona. 
Chosen by the members of SEELE to take over command of the Unit 02 
Evangelion. In reality, I am Tabris, angel of the Morning Star. Trying 
to return to Adam so that I may return and earn redemption for the 
paradise that I lost all those years ago. Even then, I know the journey 
back will not be easy. 

	Before I was taken to Tokyo-3, I was sure I could sense him. Despite 
what the writings of man say, there is more than 17 of us. There are 
more, the only difference between the rest and us is that we are strong 
enough to make it here. But there is another. 

	A traitor. That is what he is. The reason for us coming here was not 
only for Adam, but to find the lost one. The one that betrayed us and 
came here to live among these humans. The last we heard of him was his 
name.

	In the tongue of these people he would be called nakushita tenshi, or 
nefesh avood in the language of the ones called Hebrew. The Lost Soul to 
be exact. There is almost nothing I would give to have that traitor's 
neck in my hands. Squeezing the life out of his body until the delicate 
bones of his neck snap, and his sins for his betrayal erased with his 
death. 

	How odd. I receive pleasure from the thought of giving the rewards of 
the traitor, yet I have no such feelings for these humans had their 
positions been changed. Is it the darker side of Kaworu? The dark desire 
to kill or cause pain inherited in all humans? I am not sure. I shall 
have to find Nefesh in order to discover what exactly it is. 

	I, Kaworu, look to my left again and see the Third Child again. Ikari 
Shinji. He fascinates me, but why? What does this boy have that draws my 
attention to him and distracts me from my true objective? Not only that, 
I can feel a small warm sensation in my chest, but as to what this is, I 
don't know. It feels� odd. 

	I am sure that there will be time to find out where all these answers 
are someday. In the meantime, I have no choice but to continue with this 
little farce. 

	Rei. She too is an enigma. I am more than aware that she is a construct 
of another's DNA and the DNA of an angel. I would imagine that the angel 
in question would be Adam. Now, I am not so sure. 

	The reason behind this is that I can sense a very powerful force hidden 
in her. She's only half angel and extremely limited in the abilities 
shared by the other angels and myself. Yet, the only ones capable of 
holding as much power as she is at the moment is only carried by the 
likes of Gabriel, Michel, Lillith, several others, and of course, Adam. 
The likelihood of her being anything other than Adam is very minute. She 
has that power but she cannot use nor control it. 

	That is fortunate for me. The case being that the only an incantation 
such as the Pax Deorum, Athair Ar Neamh, or the La Sonadora would most 
likely destroy me and the others. Such chants were conceived by the 
humans when their contact with the heavens was much stronger that it is 
now. 

By herself, she would have all sorts of trouble in forth calling the 
necessary power or a strong enough power source to activate the chant. 
If there was more with such capability� and what bothers me is that I 
can feel another presence within her EVA very similar to her own. Not 
only that, there's a third, although feint, it is there and it has the 
same type of signal that Rei does. What in heaven's name has Ikari been 
doing?

*************************************************

	I look to my right and even though I can't see him through the test 
plug and LCL, I know he's there. Kaworu Nagisa. The Fifth Child. 
Philosophical jerk is more like it. I'd be surprised if the guy does 
have any kind of heart. 

	Although he's seems to keep to himself most of the time and seems 
rather harmless, my gut is saying that there is with no doubt something 
it wrong with this guy. As if� he has some kind of agenda of his own. 
And it don't look like he's ready to spill it yet. Either way, I'm gonna 
keep my eye on this guy. It's that same feeling I got when I first saw 
Rei. He, like Rei, are different in such a way that my guts tells me 
something is wrong. 

	Forgetting him for a moment, thank God, I look to my left briefly and I 
think about the other three children. The more competent and experienced 
of the Children. Ah, sure, my synch rates are decent and I'm an ok 
fighter, but somehow, I feel a bit� what's the word? Overwhelmed? By how 
good they are in comparison to me. What makes it a bit stranger is their 
reasons. Last I recall Shinji pilots this to get compliments from his 
dad. Rei does it as a link to people, whatever that means. Asuka pilots 
it to let the world know of her greatness. 

	Me? I'm just doing this so my sister can get better sooner. Yuirko 
thought it was great that I was piloting these things when I told her. 
She didn't care that Shinji hurt her when he was fighting the angel when 
he first came here. I look at her injuries and I think of both sides of 
this whole deal. On one side, it's what caused those injuries in the 
first place, on the other, it's what's preventing her from using a 
wheelchair for the next two to three years. 

Yeesh. I heard about some greek god named Narcissus who thought so much 
of himself it made anyone think if he thought of anything else. A female 
Narcissus. At least� that's what Asuka was. Hearing that thing do 
whatever it did to Asuka was bad enough, what made it worse was that I 
couldn't do a thing about it. Sure, she hit me on several occasions, 
gave the word 'raunch' a new meaning, and was capable of talking about 
how good she was for hours on end, but no one deserved what she went 
through. Not even her. Also, why is it always me that seems to be the 
one who is going to her rescue? Isn't she supposed to be able to take 
care of� oh yeah. She seems a bit more vulnerable ever since it happened 
and I don't know if I have to be the one to continue this. 

Rei's almost a big a question as Kaworu is. I mean, when we first met 
her, I tried to be friends with her, but she simply stayed quiet and 
kept to herself all the time. Sure, Keisuke and I leered after her now 
and then, but that was just to bug Shinji when he came here. One time, I 
heard that Asuka called her a puppet. Somehow, I don't know if I wanted 
to agree with her or not. I mean, puppets have no say so in what they do 
and recently, she's been doing things puppets would NOT do. 

	But the creepy thing is that she and Kaworu are both albino, both have 
pale colored hair, and both have red eyes. Something should click here, 
but I can't even tell what! It's driving me nuts trying to figure out 
what the connection and the bottom line is. I just hope that when the 
answer comes, it won't be too late.

*************************************************

	LCL. That's all I see. That and all the odd color patterns and what 
not. I find it odd that this liquid fills our lungs yet we still breathe 
and talk. Also, I think it also shows the odd things that we see when we 
synchronize with our EVAs. Also, I wonder how the other Children are 
doing? 

	First, there is Rei. Ever since that event with the other angel, I 
can't help but feel� feel something, I don't know. It's warm and 
comforting, but it's also confusing. I feel torn. Ever since I got that 
picture from otousan, things have been getting better. He even talked to 
me of his own choice when I almost ran away again. Inside, I am hoping 
that somehow, we can find a resolution to this pain I have. But, my mind 
is telling me that too much as happened already and nothing more can be 
done. I don't know who or what to listen to. 

	Then, there is Kowaru. Like Rei when I first came here, she was a 
question without answers. I know a bit more about her, but not much. 
Somehow, I feel that this one will remain a mystery, more than Rei was. 
But yet, there was a certain warmth in his gaze that made him stand out 
from everyone else in Tokyo-3. But there's something else about him too, 
something that seems� odd. What is it though?

*************************************************

	'What now?' I wonder. Even though I might be able to synch with my EVA 
soon enough, what then? Will I still be able to pilot my own EVA? Or 
will they either keep me as a backup pilot or will they just say 'take a 
hike'?

	One thing I know for sure, the reason why I'm here is that I didn't 
just let my mother rest in peace, despite the fact she went crazy before 
she died. Mom, why did you leave me? Why did you have to volunteer and 
pilot 02? Why couldn't it have been someone else? Why did you have to 
pretend that doll was me? Why does your memory make me into someone I'm 
not? 

Is this really me? A broken down and crying little girl who misses her 
mom? I know for a fact that the Asuka everyone knew and tolerated wasn't 
me, that was just a mask I hid behind. And when that angel� did that to 
me, the mask broke. Now, here I am, ready to take the world's ridicule 
and cry again. They'll say, 'I thought you were strong, but you're 
really just a baby!' and other such insults. What hurts more is that 
they're right. 

	I was never one to think in terms of despair, but with things as they 
are� even with the slim hope that I might be able to get back the thing 
that makes me strong, I don't know if it will amount to anything. Not 
only that, what if we finally beat the angels and they leave us alone? 
What will we do? We, meaning the pilots, NERV, and so on. What will our 
purpose be if we have nothing to defend our world from?

	The EVAs will most likely be scrapped and recycled. Or they'll be used 
for war machines to try and start some war in which we'll most likely 
die. Either way, I lose. After all this winning, it's finally come to 
this. 

Only now do I realize how alone I am. Kaji's not who he really was, 
Misato's too busy with her personal vendetta against the angels, 
Shinji's too busy being a wimp to do anything and I don't dare start on 
Wonder Girl. But Touji. YOU JERK! Why did you have to be there when I 
cried?! Why did you carry me to Misato's car when she took me home? Why 
are you being so nice to me? TOUJI, YOU JERK!!! Why aren't you being a 
jerk to me? It's what I expect from people! I'm mean to them, so they're 
mean to me! And when I rub my superiority in their faces, they dislike 
me even more! 

Touji� YOU JERK, DUMMKOPF, IDIOT, MORON, BAKA, PUNK, YARO!!!

	Why do you have to be so nice to me? After a while, the reason why you 
said I wasn't Asuka was because you wanted me to get mad and try harder. 
It did work and it's still working. Touji, I don't know what to say. 
Should I thank you? Show the gentler side of me? Or should I just go 
back to hiding behind that damn mask?

	I pause for a minute, wondering what to do. Then, I look to my right, 
where I know Touji is. I only say two words.

	"�thanks� dummkopf�"

*************************************************

	I cannot focus. Every time I close my eyes, I can only see Tabris and 
his gloating red eyes. Red. The color of blood, evening skies, fire, of 
Tabris' eyes. Tabris. The one I hate. Like the color of red, it is 
something I hate. You insult me Tabris, you say I am a freak because of 
my half heritage. You speak a hard truth and I hate you for that. You 
seek the same thing that will hurt those here, hurt the innocent, and 
hurt Shinji.

	What I seek is to stop you. Yet, I am next to powerless. Once more, 
your hard truths tear at me, causing me to hate you even more. You are 
right Tabris. I cannot stop you. Yet, if there is a way that I can 
follow that will help stop you, I will follow it to it's end. Even if it 
ends my life, I will not let you harm the innocent. 

	Is it the fact that you look like Commander Ikari is that I tend to 
notice you, Shinji? Is it that you show me kindness when it is not 
warranted? What about when I asked you to touch me? I do not understand 
why you were nervous. Nevertheless, the gentle touch of your hand and 
being close to someone� it felt so� so new. I don't know how to describe 
how I felt about that alone.

	You have opened up something for me Shinji. The warmth I feel is 
something that I cannot describe. I do not know whether to feel grateful 
or not. It's like� escaping a cold prison and reveling in the light of 
the sun. Yet, I cannot go into the sun because of my condition. Still, I 
do not know what to think.

I also feel fear again. I don't know if these feelings, if taken 
further, will be the death of me or not. Will what you are showing me 
and experiencing with me, is it good or not? 

	I hear a voice from nowhere. {Imouto�}

	I open my eyes and look about to see only LCL and the other side of the 
large room filled with LCL below. Who said that?

	{I did�} Says the voice again

	I look ahead to see nothing once more. I start to worry. A voice is 
talking to me and I have no idea how to respond, let alone know who it 
is.

	{Imouto, look inside. That's where I am.} The voice says again.

	Not completely understanding what the voice meant, I decide to do what 
it says and look within my mind to see if that was where the voice came 
from. I search every avenue I can, following every new thought that this 
mind that calls me imouto.

	At last, I find exactly what was calling me. It was me! A younger 
version of me, but unmistakably, a version of me nonetheless. She seems 
to be sitting in a gentle haze of blue light that covers her form like a 
cloak. 

	{Wh� who are you?} I ask.

	{I'm you� in a sense. I am Koorichi, the First of Ice and the first of 
the Rei Ayanami clones.} The soul speaks.

	{What?}

{Though you know some of your origins, there are gaps that need to be 
filled.}

	{I� I don't understand.}

	{Unsurprising, but rectifiable. The reason that you are there is that I 
died and you were released from sleep to be the next pilot for Unit 00. 
My replacement, so to speak.}

	{So, are there more? Of us, I mean?}

	{Yes, just one more. Altogether, there are only three of us. All three 
of us that are made of both Yui Ikari and the Lillth, the Mother of 
Demons.}

	{So, I knew that we were not made of Adam, but Lillith?}

	{Yes and there is an angel that has been mislead in our midst, is there 
not?}

	{Yes. It is Tabris. I have already tried to sway him from what he's 
doing, but he will not listen.}

	{Not surprising. I must return to the EVA, or else my presence will be 
discovered.}

	{Wait. I have so many questions that don't have answers. Why did you 
come to me? Why have you said nothing to me before?}

	The spirit that looks like me turns for a second before leaving, giving 
the answer. {Some questions were never meant to be answered� on account 
that there maybe more than one correct answer. Find 'your' answer 
imouto, it is still waiting for you. I will be here in the EVA, waiting 
for your answers.}	

	Just like that, the other Rei Ayanami was gone. With nothing more to do 
with her, I return to my concentration for the test.

*************************************************

	"What now sir?" Maya asked, turning to Misato. The results right there 
in front of them, telling them both the impossible.

	"Let them out. One at a time. There's nothing more we can do for the 
time being." Misato said, taking a seat and staring intently at the 
scores. Figuring several theories that were either impossible or just 
improbable. 

End of Chapter 9b


[Warhammer hops out again.]
	WH: I always figured that Kaworu knew that he was part angel, but I 
also figured he was intelligent enough to consider both sides of the 
argument about his human and angel side. So, they're both united in 
their goal to return to Adam. But separate about how they live.

	Now, when I said that the angels were Fallen, I also figured that they 
might have learned their lesson after a few billion years of being cast 
out of heaven and found an alternate route to go back. Who knows, maybe 
they were actually following the way they were supposed to go.

	Concerning those goofy names for the chants Kaworu listed: Enya is a 
great source for using Celtic names. Don't you think?

	Now, I would figure that Koorichi is more sagely than her counterparts 
are, so she seems to be the most vague when it comes to answers. More 
like Sailor Pluto I think. 

	In the next chapter, Kaworu is introduced to the rest of the school. 
Yet, even though there's no large angels to worry about, that does not 
mean that there will be problems. Until next time.

[Warhammer runs back.]


Teknos WarHammer-

Are they pants? Or trousers?
Depends.

http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Garden/4853/index.html

-Knight of the True Fiancee. A.K.A. Akane Tendou
-Fanfic writer of Teknoman and other great manga and anime.
-Self appointed Guardian of Kiyone Makibi.
-And so much more!



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