Red Dwarf 1/2
Legal Disclaimer: I don't own any of this stuff except any of this stuff
that I own.
Since you asked and asked and asked and started to flood my mail and
wouldn't leave me the hell alone, here's the first episode of Red Dwarf
1/2. Q2 is undergoing massive plotting of the plot, and MangaSpawn Fusion
is on the drawing board.
BTW, if you've never seen Red Dwarf, than you won't get much of this
story. I'll probably write a revision that explains what's going on
later, but here's the basic plot: The place is the Mining ship Red Dwarf,
headed for Jupiter. Ranma and Ryoga are roommates and shipmates, and
never cease to annoy each other. Ranma gets into a relationship with a
fellow crewmate, Ukyo Kochanski. However, because he brought in
Shampoo-neko in as a stray and wouldn't tell the captain where the
unsterilized animal was, Ranma got put into stasis for 18 months. The
next day, a radioactive leak opened up just as Ryoga assured the captain
that he had taken care of the problem. Ranma's cat, pregnant an safely
sealed in the hold, begins to give birth........
***
Ranma walked out of the stasis chamber. To him, he had only been out for
a second, but the stasis chamber kept him on ice for how long? <A year or
somethin, just 'cause I wouldn't let 'em dissect Shampoo. Smegheads, the
lot of them. Only reason I'm on this trip is to get back home to Earth
and propose to Ukyo....> The first thing he noticed was that all the
emergency lights were on, and the Dwarf's main computer, Washu, was going
on about something. "Everybody's dead, Ran-chan........"
"THREE MILLION YEARS??!!!!! I'VE BEEN ASLEEP FOR THREE SMEGGIN' MILLION
YEARS???!!!!!!!!!"
"It took this long for the radiation leak to be contained. Sorry."
Before Ranma could answer, A very familiar voice spoke up behind him.
"This is all your fault, Saotome!!!!" Ryoga ran to attack him.....and,
being a hologram(complete with the 'H' on his forehead), flew right
through Ranma and slammed into the wall. "Wha-I thought you siad everyone
was dead, Washu!!" Washu answered, "They are. This is a holographic
rendition of a crewmember I've brought back to keep you sane." "But-
Ryoga?! Why not Ukyo?" "Let's face facts, Ranma, the relationship was
going nowhere. Oh yeah, there's an unidentified lifeform on the ship,
too." "What now?!!!!" "Well, remember your cat?" "She's not my cat!!!!!
Besides, didn't you say everyone was dead?!" "I said all humans were
dead, not cat-based lifeforms. Anyway, your cat survived, had kids, and
now has evolved into a humanoid form. Our supplies are dangerously low on
'Shake 'n' vac'." "Just great; alone in a godless universe and low on
shake 'n' vac. Cut that out, Ryoga: we're gonna get my cat."
As Ranma strode down the dark corridors of the huge ship cautiously,
Ryoga staged at least 12 new attacks that would have destroyed many
lesser gods, and a few greater ones, too. However, All this accomplished
was to get him smashed into more walls. He didn't care, and proceeded to
perform a whole season's worth of Dragon Ball Z combos on him. <How can
this slob possibly be the last human?!! HOW!!!????>, he pondered as he
and the wall once again made intimate contact.'
Ranma turned and walked into the room. He saw no one. The reason for this
was that the catgirl had snuck up behind him. "AHHHH!!!!" Ranma screamed
as it attacked-or, rather, glomped-him. The Cat looked like a cross
between your run off the mill catgirl and Xian Pu herself. Unfortunately
for Ranma, her entire race had developed a religion around him before the
rest of them left for where they thought home was. Meanwhile, as the Cat
jumped on a screaming Ranma, Ryoga sat there and laughed, while Washu
picked up a distress signal coming from a ship. Ranma managed to pry the
cat off him and throw it at Ryoga, who, in a perfect example of the
principle I like to call 'Cartoon Physics', gets smashed against the wall
by it, even though he was a hologram.
(main deck)
Washu:"We've got a distress signal from a ship called 'Nova 5'. Should we
answer it?"
Ryoga: I think we've got enough problems here as it is.
Ranma: Who's on the ship? what's their problem?
cat:*purr*....... Puku luv Ranma........*purr*
Ranma: and will someone PLEASE get this cat off me?!!!!!!
Washu: The call is being sent by their cleaning droid, Kasumi. The
surviving crewmembers are: Kino, Makoto, age 19; Aino, Minako, age, 19;
Chiba, Mamoru, age 22.
(everyone, including the cat, stares at the screen.)
Ryoga: Tell them not to worry, 'cause Space Knight Captain Tuxedo 'Ace'
Hibiki is comin' to save them!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ranma:(facefaults) You're starting to sound like Kuno, ya know that?
Kasumi was cleaning. Cleaning, along with watching 'Here is Greenwood',
were the two things she loved. She had been cleaning for a long time. She
had gotten the idea that cleaning the computer would be good a while
back, and so they were stuck here. She was, in a way, happy that they had
crashed. It gave her more work to do. And now, these nice space captains
were coming for a party. She whistled as she cleaned the crewmembers.
They were so happy. Always grinning.
Which is what well cleaned skeletons do, ya know.
End Part 1
Next Episode: The crew gets a new crewmember and a rude awakening.
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