At 08:20 PM 2/26/98 -0600, Richard Lawson wrote:

From: Nicholas Leifker
Sent: Thursday, February 26, 1998 12:09 PM

Gary, Richard... thank you for your comments.
However, your recommendations are denied.

That's a rather harsh way of putting it.  We were only offering
suggestions, not insisting on changes.

Then why have you been repeating yourself, constantly saying how wrong it
is?  You've suggested it.  Fine.  I've responded to the suggestion. 

Taking those circumstances combined, her words
cannot be taken in the splitting-hairs value you're
assigning to it.

Again, all we're saying is that what you're trying to convey isn't
necessarily coming through clearly.  It may be obvious to you, the writer.
To us, the readers, who do not have the benefit of following your train of
thought as you were writing, we get a different impression from the words.
It's our job as prereaders to give you our impressions.  Of course, you're
free to do as you please.  But don't make us feel bad for daring to give
you feedback.  We were not trying to split hairs; we were telling you how
the words made us feel.

As I said, I don't mind C&C.  It's having to repeat myself several times
over, each message a variation on a theme, that gets me frustrated.  

2. She's in the heat of battle.  Points must be
made with a minimum number of syllables.  I could
say "Then...only then, after everything's changed,
do you notice the strange feeling of personality
dislocation in your mind," but it just doesn't have
the same urgency that 'fuzz' has.

"Fuzz" has very strong, pejorative connotations.  Not the kind I like to
see.

I thought of 'Fog', but that's even worse.  

Challenge for you: Come up with a word that is only one syllable, would be
in Ranma's vocabulary, and would accurately convey the sensation of your
old personality fading away to be replaced by a different one.  'Fuzz' is
about the most accurate word I could come up with.  It's disorienting, it's
distracting, it's like her personality's fading into the background... That
is what I want to convey.  

Richard, I don't like PC.  Life is not PC.  Battles are not PC.  What
Ranma's doing here is not PC.  Come up with a better alternative that would
not only fit what Ranma's goals are, but would convey what Ranma wants to
say, rather than drill the wrongness of it into me.  That is what C&C is
all about - not drilling into the author what's wrong with it over and
over, but helping the author come up with something right from it.  

Again, this is *my* *opinion* *only*.  Feel perfectly free to ignore it.
:)  I feel the same way with opinions offered me.  I may violently
disagree with people's opinions of my work, but I *always* appreciate
receiving them.  ^_^

And I appreciate getting them.  What I don't appreciate is having to repeat
myself when my reasonings were already given.

-- Nick

-Richard

-- Nick