MST TREATMENT WITH:
 CATBERT25:(ME)
 BEAVIS
 HAPPOSAI
 AND ATARU MOROBOSHI
 (HEY, ITS A LEMON FOR GODS SAKE! WHAT DO YOU WANT?)
"WHY DON'T YOU TRY ME FOR REAL SOME TIME?"
a Ranma 1/2 lemon indulgence, ... by Tonbo
Part 1
__________________________________________  
------------------------------------------


Out in the dojo, they were at it again.

CAT: WELL HERE WE GO.
ATA: WHATS SO WEIRD ABOUT THIS?
HAP:I'VE SEEN THIS LOTS OF TIMES, BIG DEAL.
BEAV: KICK HER ASS HEH HEH

How it had started, neither one knew.  Why it had started, neither one
cared.  All that mattered now was winning ... at any cost.

CAT:RANMA HAS A BIG MOUTH THATS HOW IT STARTED.
HAP:HE ALWAYS HAS SUCH PROMISE IN THESE THINGS...
ATA:YEA AND THEN HE BLOWS IT.

So they were at it again.

BEAV:HEH HEH HEH HEH M HEH HEH HEH HEH...

"Look, all I'm sayin' is that I don't wanna hurt you or nothin'. 
Personally, I think you oughta be glad I'm such a gentleman, and treat
you as nice as I do."

ATA:WHAT KIND OF LEMON IS THIS? THEY HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED THE PASSONATE SEX
YET!
HAP:PAITEINCE MY BOY THIS IS JUST BUILD UP...

"A gentleman?!  You?!  You're nothing but a chauvinist who's too scared
to even fight a girl!"

ATA:I'D SHOW HER A GENTLEMAN HEH HEH
BEAV:HEY THATS MY LAUGH BUNGHOLE!!

Maybe that was the mistake, calling him scared.  That was usually all it
took to provoke Ranma past common sense or good judgment.

HAP:RANMA? COMMON SENSE? GOOD JUDGEMENT? SHE MUST BE MORE IN LOVE WITH HIM
THAN I THOUGH IF SHE SEES THAT IN *HIM*

"Scared?!  Of you?!  That's a laugh!  You couldn't hurt me if I let
you!  The only time you ever even manage to touch me is when I'm
distracted or feelin' too guilty to defend myself!"

"That's just the excuse you use so you won't have to admit that I can
actually beat you whenever I really try!  Why don't you try me for real
some time?"

BEAV:HEH HEH HEH SHE SAID BEAT HEH HEH HEH

Or maybe that was the mistake.  It was not the first time she'd used
that particular line with him.  Ranma knew it was a lie.  Almost every
time they practiced, it turned into the "real" thing.  Akane would
attack; Ranma would dodge.  Akane would attack harder; Ranma would dodge
more flamboyantly.  Finally, Akane would be going all out in her efforts
to lay just a single finger on Ranma.  All the while, he would be
dodging in ways calculated to taunt her by showing just how easily he
avoided her best attacks.  This had been their routine from the very
first time they had sparred, even before Akane had found out that Ranma
was really a boy.

ATA:RANMA IS A BOY?
CAT:YOU DIDN'T KNOW?
ATA:BUT SHE HAS SUCH NICE...
HAP:IF YOU HAD BOTHERED TO READ IT INSTEAD OF LOOKING TROUGH THE BOOK FOR
PICTURES OF TOPLESS WOMEN YOU WOULD KNOW THAT.
(ATARU TURNS GREEN AT THE THOUGHT OF SOME OF THE THINGS HE HAD "DONE" WHILE
"READING" RANMA1\2)
BEAV:YEA HEH HEH TOPLESS CHICKS RULE! HEH HEH... WAIT A MINUTE RANMA IS A
DUDE? (BEAVIS GETS HIS "THIS SUCKS" LOOK.)

Ranma stopped, hearing those words again.  In that moment, somewhere
deep inside himself, he crossed a threshold.  He knew he would never be
able to make her admit defeat unless he could absolutely prove she had
gone all out.  As long as their practices remained nothing more than
simple sparring, Akane would always maintain that she hadn't really been
trying.  His unparalleled ego was now on the line, and he needed to
prove to them both that she couldn't stand up to him in a real contest. 
He needed her to know it, and he needed her to know that he KNEW she
knew it!

CAT:WHAT A MACHO JERK...STILL I WONDER HOW HE'LL GO ABOUT DOING THAT THIS
BEING A LEMON AND ALL...

His eyes focused on her.  All unnecessary movement ceased, leaving him
poised and balanced, ready for what was about to come.

Akane recognized his preparation and followed with her own.  Taking the
slightest step to the side, she faced him squarely, balanced and braced
for his attack.

Ranma studied his opponent, noticing for the second time that day that
Akane didn't seem to be wearing anything under her gi top.  Sometime
after he had moved here, she had taken to wearing a white t-shirt
beneath it, but he'd seen when she'd first entered the dojo earlier that
her skin was exposed today above where her lapels crossed in front. 
Looking at her now, an idea came to him.

BEAV:(WIDE EYED)HEH HEH WHOA!

"Akane, I'm gonna MAKE you fight me.  I'm gonna make you fight me with
everything you have.  I'm gonna make sure we both know that I can beat
you any time I want, no matter how hard you try."

BEAV:HEH HEH HARD HEH HEH...

"You are so egotistical!  Fine then, and how do you think you're going
to do that?"

"You'll see.  I'm warnin' you though, you ain't gonna like it ..."

ATA:YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?
HAP:WELL LOOK WHOS BACK...
ATA:YOU GUYS ARE SICK, NO ONE STACKED LIKE THAT COULD *EVER* BE A GUY.
CAT:HEY THIS IS MY RANMA1\2!! 

"I can take anything you can dish out."

CAT:DAMMIT ATARU WHAT DID YOU DO?! THE PAGES ARE ALL STUCK TOGETHER!!
ATA:(TURNING RED)HEE HEEH 

"Okay, but I'm not gonna hold back, and I'm not gonna be nice."

CAT:YOU SICK JERK!
HAP:REALLY YOUNG MAN YOU SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST GOTTEN SOME PANTIES FIRST!

"Fine!  That's just what I want.  Do your worst, Ranma!"

(EVERY ONES ATTENTION IS QUICKLY MOVED TO THE FIC.)
ALL:YES!

Ranma smiled.  That was all the permission he needed.  "Just remember,
you said it."

ATA:GO FOR IT DUDE!
BEAV:HEH HEH HEH HEH HE'S GONNA SCORE! HEH HEHE HEHEHEHHEHEHEH...
HAP:I NEVER KNEW HE HAD IT IN HIM.

Always before when she had beaten him, there had been some measure of
doubt in his mind.  The truth was that Ranma doubted himself a lot. 
That was why he always had to win in any contest.  It was one of the
ways he set himself up for so many problems, always having to prove he
was better than anyone else.  He didn't have the confidence to simply
not care what others thought.  And it was that doubt which disarmed him
when faced with Akane's wrath.  The truth was that he often wondered if
the things she blamed him for somehow really were his fault, and his
sense of honor prevented him from properly defending himself unless he
was sure he was right.

CAT:HMMM SOUNDS TO ME LIKE A CASE OF S.P.S.
ATA:WHATS THAT?
BEAV:UUUUHHH?
HAP:I HEARTILY AGREE.

This time though, he felt no guilt.  This time, he figured she had it
coming.  She'd mouthed off one too many times and she'd called him
scared.  But worse that these, she had committed the most unpardonable
of sins.  She had refused to acknowledge that he'd beaten her.

CAT:YUP HE HAS SMALL PENI-
HAP:I THINK THE READERS UNDERSTAND MY BOY.
CAT:WHY CAN'T I SAY IT THIS *IS* A LEMON.
HAP:EVEN WE HAVE OUR LIMITS ON GOOD TASTE.
BEAV:HEH HEH HEH BEAT....

He was going to make sure that changed.  At any cost ...

He launched himself at her,
 
((ATA:SO SOON?))

 throwing a double-punch to her face with
both hands at a speed he knew she would only barely be able to block. 
Both her hands came up, crossed in an "X" in front of her face for
protection.  At the last instant, though, his hands dropped to her chest
instead and yanked the lapels of her gi wide apart, exposing the white
tank top she was wearing underneath.
 
ALL: WE WANT HOOTERS! WE WANT HOOTERS! WE WANT HOOTERS!.....

She brought her arms down fast, knocking his hands away from her body. 
Then she grasped her top and pulled it closed, shouting in disbelief,
"What are you DOING?!"

Ranma took a step back.  "I'm just makin' sure you fight for real this
time."

ATA:YEA RIGHT


"You tried to see my chest, you lech!"

ATARU & HAPPY: BOY DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR...

"I just noticed you weren't wearin' a t-shirt, that's all.  
I decided to find out if you were wearin' anything at all."

HAP:(WITH TEARFUL EYES)OH RANMA! I'M SO PROUD! THINKING OF AKANE'S UNDERWARE
LIKE THAT!

She couldn't believe what she was hearing.  Sure he was a pervert,
hitting on other girls and glomping onto Shampoo in front of her.  And
he'd even groped Akane herself before, but never so blatantly.  And he
had never admitted it before, either.

ATA:WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH HIM SHE HASN'T HIT HIM OR ANYTHING! SHE MUST
LOVE TO BE GROPED!

"So the question now is," continued Ranma, his smile becoming more
challenging, "if you're wearin' anything under the tank top."

ALL:YESSS! (HAPPY AND ATARU HIGH FIVE EACH OTHER.)

Startled, Akane stepped back, dropping into a ready stance.  Surely he's
joking! she thought.  He wouldn't actually grab my chest, would he?  He
must be trying to scare me, right?  Faced with an openly hentai Ranma,
she just couldn't bring herself to believe that he actually could be
what she'd always accused him of being.  She decided instead that he
must be bluffing ... trying to make her admit defeat.  That's it, she
told herself, he thinks I'll back down because I'm a girl!  He's trying
to make me ask him to take it easy on me!  Her anger began to grow, and
she fairly yelled at him, "Oh, yeah?  And just how do you think you're
going to find that out?"

CAT:BY TAKING IT OFF? YA THINK?
ATA:WE ARE BEHIND YOUR EFORTS IN SPIRIT SAOTOME.

"Like this!" he yelled as he leapt at her.

She was ready for him this time.  As he came down, she jumped to the
side, sweeping with her foot.  Ranma found his feet knocked out from
other him.  Since he was too far from Akane to grab at her, he tucked
instead, as he landed, and rolled away from her on the floor.  A moment
later, he jumped up and spun around, ready to receive the attack he knew
must be coming.

HAP:CURSES FOILED! 
ATA:DON'T GIVE UP I BELEIVE IN YOU!
BEAV:HEH YEA OR SOMETHING...

Akane was inches from him and closing in fist-first, her right arm
extending into a punch that would catch him hard in the solar plexus if
he didn't move quickly!  Ranma leapt backwards away from her, grabbing
her right wrist with his left hand, pulling her along further in the
direction she had already been moving.  Since she had been pouring all
of her power into the punch, she found herself yanked off-balance and
falling forward as Ranma pulled. 

BEAV:HEH HEH HEH HEHEH HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH...PULLED HEH HEH

 Coming to an abrupt stop, he spun to
his right, using that motion to continue projecting her past him with
his left hand, her right wrist still in his grip, her right arm still
extended from her punch.  As she fell past him, though, he reached
across her body with his right arm to catch her and halt her forward
plunge, grasping her left breast firmly in his right hand.  At the same
time, he brought his left hand around and up, quickly and blatantly
checking her back for bra straps.

HAP:THATS M'BOY RANMA!

She snapped her newly freed right elbow back and connected soundly with
the side of his head.

She spun around to face him as he staggered away, his hand raised to the
side of his head.  "Ouch!  That hurt!" he said.  She started toward him,
but then stopped as he dropped into a defensive crouch.

ATA:AT LEAST IT WASN'T CHARGED WITH ELECTRICITY...

"So how come you're not wearin' a bra, Akane?" he taunted.  "None of
your business, Ranma!" she shouted.  "Just shut up and FIGHT!"

HAP:POOR RANMA HE MUST BE SO DISAPOINTED...
ATA: I KNEW IT SHE WAS PLANING TO SEDUCE HIM THE WHOLE TIME!

She lunged toward him, throwing punches as fast as she could.  Ranma
backed away, blocking.  As the punches continued, Ranma began
occasionally to slip past them, reaching forward toward Akane's breasts,
forcing her to parry in return.  Ranma stopped retreating and held his
ground, the two trading punch for grope, parry for block.

HAP:AH, IT REMINDS ME OF MY YOUNGER DAYS
ATA:SOUNDS ALOT LIKE MINE NOW...

Ranma wasn't using his full speed, he was enjoying the fight too much. 
In a way, this fight was a microcosm of their whole relationship.  He
had enjoyed touching Akane like that, but he wouldn't admit it. 

ALL:WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM?! ANYONE WOULD ENJOY TOUCHING AKANE THAT
WAY!!!
BEAV:ASSWIPE! HURRY UP AND SCORE!

 He
enjoyed the anticipation of touching her again, but could only express
it in an aggressive manner.  He didn't know how to approach Akane, or
anyone else for that matter, in a soft or romantic way, so he could only
do so as a challenge.  And he was enjoying it.  Quickly, he planned his
next move.

BEAV:MY THERAPIST SAID THAT MASTROBATION IS AN AGRESSIVE OUTLET HEH HEH HEH
CAT:(LOOKS AT HAPPY)AND YOU WOULDN'T EVEN LET ME SAY PENIS...
HAP: NO I WOULDN'T LET YOU SAY *SMALL* PENIS THERE ARE ALOT OF SENCITIVE
PEOPLE OUT THERE, THEY'RE LIKE FAT PEOPLE THAT WAY...

Akane was too angry to be confused; too busy trying to get back at Ranma
to ask herself why she didn't just leave the dojo.  But even in the
middle of the melee, a small part of her mind was free to wonder, Why
would he want to touch me like that?  He isn't attracted to me, so why? 
Is it possible that he really doesn't think I'm so uncute after all?

ALL:DDUUUUUHHHHH..

Suddenly, Ranma threw both hands forward at his fullest Amagurken-honed
speed and grabbed Akane's breasts.  Instantly, her hands came up to
knock his away, leaving her midsection exposed for just a moment.  It
was all the time he needed.

BEAV:IF I COULD MOVE MY HANDS THAT FAST, I'D NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE! HEH HEH.

"An opening!" he cried, as his hands moved to the real attack.  With a
lightning speed few in the world could even hope match, he untied her
belt.

WIDE EYED BEAVIS ATARU AND HAPPOSAI:OOOOOHHHHH!
CAT:(WITH AN AMUSED SMILE.) LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOING FOR THE GOLD.

That was as far as he got before Akane's fists connected with his face. 
He had expected her to once again RE-act instead of ACT.  He had
expected her arms to drop to her waist, leaving her upper torso open for
his next attack.  Instead, he was blinded, as stars consumed his vision.

Akane, having learned that modesty would only be used as a weapon
against her, ignored her belt as it began to unwrap from her waist, and
pursued Ranma across the floor as he retreated, taking advantage of his
carelessness while she could.  Throwing punches to keep him off balance,
she stepped forward into a stronger position, then spun to her side,
kicking him across the dojo.

HAP:AH, SUCH FOND MEMORIES.
CAT:WE ALREDY DID THAT JOKE.
HAP:CAN'T A GUY REMINISS IN PEACE?

Ranma crashed to an abrupt halt against the wall and fell to the floor. 
He shook his head and looked up, expecting to see Akane charging in for
more.  Instead, he saw her turn around and bend over to pick up her
belt.  Getting it off of her had cost him more than he had expected.  He
couldn't afford to give her the time to put it back on.  He wasn't
prepared to give up the victory of removing it in the first place, and
he wasn't sure he'd get a second chance now that she knew what his
target was!  He had to stop her.

ATA:THATS THE SPIRIT! 
HAP:SHE MUST BE STOPPED!

The trouble was, he was lying in a heap at least fifteen feet away, and
moving way too slow to do anything about it.

ATA:DID THEY SKIP SOMETHING HERE? SOUNDS LIKE WE MISSED ABOUT THREE MINUTES...

As Akane bent over to pick up her belt, the back of her gi top rode up,
exposing her rear, while the fabric of her pants pulled tighter across
her bottom, nicely outlining her shapely curves.  "An opening!" Ranma
shouted, as enthusiastically as he could.

CAT:THATS ONE THING YOU COULD CALL IT...

Akane "Eeeped," as she jumped straight up, grabbing her own rear end
with both hands to cover it, dropping her belt in the process.  Then she
spun away from the imagined attack and brought her hands around in front
of herself, surprised to see that Ranma was still against the wall, not
anywhere near close enough to grope her, as she had thought he was about
to do.

ATA:AMAZING
HAP:SUCH SKILL! HE MANAGED TO GET HER TO GROPE HERSELF! CLEARLY RANMA IS MUCH
MORE ADVANCED THAN I THOUGHT.

Ranma laughed as he forced himself to stand.  Staring straight at her,
he smiled deliberately.  He was still too far away.  If he didn't keep
distracting her, she might be able to get the belt back on before he
could reach her.  "You looked really nice bendin' over like that,
Akane.  Really smooth!  I didn't see any lines, though.  Are you even
wearin' any panties, Akane?"

(A LARGE POOL OF DROOL IS FORMED) ATARU HAPPY AND BEAVIS:YESSSSSS!

Akane gasped at his words, her eyes growing big.  I looked nice?  He
actually said that?  Then she felt foolish.  He always did that!  The
only times he ever complimented her was when he was making fun of her or
trying to startle her, so he could pull some trick while she was
shocked.  Well not this time.  "None of your business Ranma!" she said,
dropping lower into a stronger stance.  "You're not going to trick me
again!" she continued, completely missing the fact that she was doing
exactly what he wanted.

ATA:I THINK THE SAD PART IS SHE ACTUALLY WANTS THIS...
CAT:TRUE...