Note: If I cut a scene from my fanfic it's for a good reason.  This scene
*sucks*, but might be good for a few laughs.  The text below is taken from right
after Apsu said "...I'm sorry for getting so postal with you..." (something like
that) and I thought it was funny that he'd never been to America (at least, he
hasn't been mentioned as having gone to America) yet he was using some American
slang, so I expanded on the idea and got way out of hand.

<BEGIN THE TOTALLY STUPID YET SOMEHOW SIGNIFIGANT SCENE THAT CAME FROM
ABSOLUTELY *NOWHERE*>
	"Apsu� What does 'postal' mean?"
	Apsu, who had been caught up in his emotional revelation, stopped dumbfounded,
"Huh?"
	"The word postal; what does it mean?  What does mail have to do with this?"
	"Oh, okay� Postal.  It's a bit of slang I picked up from some traveling
Americans when they were temporarily stranded in South Korea.  They were talking
about how their postal workers kept going crazy and holding people hostage on
bad days until it became a public joke.  Basically, it's a nice way of saying
'pissed'. Ya know, as in 'pissed worker'," he started one of those fake laughs
when he saw that Michelle wasn't exactly laughing, but cut it short with an
over-emphasized "Ooookay�"  So much for explaining American slang�
	"I like 'postal' better than 'pissed'," Michelle numbly pointed out, wondering
how Apsu could have gone so far off track over a single word but wanting to seem
like she was following his train of thought just a little.
	"I thought you would, that's why I said it.  Maybe I shoulda' said 'executive',
that would have been a bit more Japanese,"
	"Umm, I guess so.  Are you okay?"  Her face read like a billboard in big
Japanese letters, *YOU ARE AN IDIOT!!!* 
	"No, the return of my confidence has shattered all of my hopes of ever
attaining a sense of humor.  I have now become one of those Japanese comedians
who have to thank their audience for being so polite and quiet.  There is no
hope for me, for I cannot love you the way you want me to!"  Michelle's eyebrows
twitched involuntary when Apsu began to talk in a pseudo-poetic voice, changing
her expression to something more like; *GET TO THE POINT, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?*
	"I am a chang-ed man," he *declared,* doing his best imitation of an old
English accent, "I am no longer the person you knew before!  I have learned much
since we last met�" Michelle's face: *YOU'VE LOST IT.*  Apsu began to think up
another random line, but extended staring at Michelle's� *impossible* facial
expression led him to collapse to his knees with convulsive laughter.  Michelle
watched for a moment, then followed suit.  After another moment tears began to
stream from both their eyes like rivers; Apsu's tears being caused by the strain
from laughing, while Michelle cried with grief for her insane fianc�.
	"I guess I should be the one asking you if you're okay," he said as his
laughing finally died off.  His smile engulfed most of his face, and he began to
chuckle again with the after-effects of the past few seconds.
	"No, I am not okay.  What the hell is wrong with you?"  She wiped the tears off
of her face, her body shaking like a cold little girl in Mother Russia.  The
author--err, *Apsu* grabbed her shoulders with an overly dramatic motion and
began to speak;
 	"I shall tell you what is wrong�  I have harbored the wrong emotions for the
wrong reasons at the wrong times and expressed them in the wrong ways for a
*very* wrong length of time,"  Michelle grabbed him for support and regressed
back to convulsing sobs; Her future husband had become a failed poet!  Apsu
inwardly smiled a bit; he'd never made someone cry from confusion before - but
anyway he decided that he'd better get to the point before he really did hurt
Michelle.
	"Shh, shh, it's okay�." He cooed, stroking her hair off of her wet face�  She
got worse.  Okay, this was the part where the emotionally manipulated subject
was supposed to recover a bit.  Oh yeah, she probably thought he was still
acting�
	"Michelle," she continued to cry, "Okay, *Michelle,* it's okay now." Sob sob
sob� "MICHELLE. YOU CAN STOP CRYING NOW." Michelle looked up in shock at Apsu.
	"You're� *not* insane?"  She sniffled a bit,
	"Of course not," he said casually
	"Then what the hell was all of that?" She didn't really notice that she had
used the word 'hell' for a record four times on a single morning, but oh well. 
Apsu considered coming up with another stupid remark, but got the impression
that Michelle was about over his improvisation. 
	"Okay, here's how it is.  I've been so worried and depressed for so long that
once I realized I could experience other emotions again I kinda got carried away
with them.  When you mentioned the meaning of the word 'postal' it clicked in my
head that I had to immediately say the *stupidest* set of lines ever spoken in
casual conversation, just to see how'd you react and what I'd come up with."
	"Apsu," she said, shaking her head 'no', "You sounded like that pompous jerk
Kuno."
	"Damn, really?  I did a better job than I thought� Anyway, I was leading up to
a climax to--
	"Sexual climax?" Michelle asked, in the most sincere, cute voice possible.
Payback was gonna be a bitch.
	"No, I was not going to have a sexual climax while spouting bad poetry.  That
would have been too cheesy even for me.  Listen, I have a point to--
	"Oh my god, yours is a point?  They have surgery to fix that, ya know," Apsu's
hair began to spike up bit by bit, a question mark appeared over his head, and
an unrealistically large teardrop formed behind his head and faded to
nothingness as it fell.
	"Michelle," he said, knowing full well what she was doing.  He took a few
seconds to come up with something that couldn't be totally twisted and thrown
back at him, then began, "I--
	"Yes, Michelle's my name, what do you need?"  Her eyes became glossy and her
eyelashes grew to six times their normal size as she blinked in that cute way of
hers.
	Apsu smiled at Michelle.  She was too adorable, but this little game had to end
before he was too frustrated to say what he had been building up to. He nodded
in a stern manner and spoke in that 'I'm mad but not really' tone that could
only be used in ridiculous situations such as this, "I need you to shut up so I
can say something you've probably been wanting to hear for a while."
	"Oh, okay." She decided that she had extracted enough revenge; most of her
crying had been due to the utter stupidity of Apsu's first humor attempt, which
was forgivable.

**end --  Take that last line, replace Apsu with "the author's" and you've got a
decent description of this scene :P


-- 
Draxon-X@Bellsouth.Net

              Writer, Reviewer, and worshipper of the Red-Haired goddess.
                                 Long live Nene Romanova!
  "I don't know what's wrong with you, but I think I can probably make it a lot
worse."
                             --Ryouga Hibiki, A Demon's Delight