Subject: Re: [FFML] [fanfic][Hitomi] An Alternate History of Ranma 1/2, Chapter 7: What troubles me about...
From: David Johnston
Date: 2/20/1998, 12:13 PM
To: Nicholas Leifker
CC: ffml@fanfic.com

Nicholas Leifker wrote:

Well no...Hitomi wrote:

        The smaller girl gave a sigh, �It�s just that I never needed no-one
before.  I don�t understand why I�m acting like this.�
        Akane halted the two of them, grabbed Ranma by both shoulders and looked
her in the eyes.  �Ranma, you�ve always had someone, although you never
knew it before today.  Your father was always there for you, no matter what
happened.  He loves you, and you always felt that love, and knew it was
there.  This morning, he did not show that love, and you don�t know how to
handle it as yet.  That�s what is happening to you.  You are learning to
have different emotions, and to deal with them properly.�
        Looking into those clear turquoise eyes that were slightly wet with tears
that wanted to be released, but wouldn�t come, she continued.  �It helps to
talk about it Ranma. It helps to cry.  Nobody will judge you badly if you
cry, and sometimes the release feels better than letting your anger out.
If you feel sad, let it out.  I�ll always be here for you, and I promise to
always try to understand your feelings.  Do you understand?�
        Ranma sniffled, and the tears started to flow.  For the first time she
could remember, she cried, and the years of sadness which had previously
been held in check started to flow.  She couldn�t stop herself as she
started to sob uncontrollably, and felt Akane�s arms wrap around her,
seeming to absorb the hurt and protect at the same time.

My chief problem with this story is that Akane has not been given a 
distinctive character voice.  Akane, Kasumi, and even Nabiki have taken
to talking in these little lectures.  Erase the character names, and 
you'd have no idea who is talking.  Where is Akane's anger or Nabiki's
amusement?  

Oh...and I would be surprised to learn that in Japan open lesbian 
couples get much of a chance to adopt.